This book has over 1k. That's seriously insane.....HI EVERYONE WHEREVER YOU ARE. HI MOM- SEE I TOLD YOU I HAVE TALENT.

She's not even reading this...awkward.

Warning- this chapter has some sexual content (a lot of it). If you want to skip this chapter because it makes you feel uncomfortable, that's okay too. I'll write a short summary next chapter just so you have an overview. Spoiler alert; it was only just a dream.

On WiTh ThE sToRy
••••••••••••••••••••
Those few days with Jesse and my brothers in that small little cottage had to be some of the best times I'd ever spend away from the normal world. We drove back home three days later, all of us upset that we had to leave our own private little place. Jesse didn't touch on the mother subject again and I honestly think he forgot about it. Hopefully.

We walked into the house late Sunday night, probably around eleven. All of us had school the next day, so I encouraged Ryan and Jase to sleep in the car ride home, which took probably four and a half hours due to traffic. Jesse left in his car around the same time, giving me a hug and promising to see me at school.

As I pulled into the driveway, I glanced in the mirror and saw Jason and Cam fast asleep, and next to me Ryan was leaning his head on the window. I had them change into their pj's and brush their teeth before they left, so that they would be able to head straight to bed. I tapped Ryan lightly on the shoulder and he slowly opened his eyes, not fully awake.

"We're home buddy." He yawned and he began to look more awake, though his voice was still husky from sleep.

"Want me to carry Jason in?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." He nodded and opened his door, letting the bone-chilling air inside the vehicle. I heard it shut and then the back door open, and Ryan lifted the three-year-old out of the car seat. I took my house keys out and then closed my own door, unbuckling Cam and pulling the blanket over his tiny body. His eyes opened but he didn't cry, just stared at me. Ryan and I trudged up to the house and I unlocked it with one hand, knowing that I would get the luggage the next day because I was too exhausted to bring the heavy bags inside.

Ryan tucked Jason into bed and I placed Cam in the crib within my room. Kissing Ryan on the head, I watched as he walked down the hall to his bedroom, tripping over his own feet.

"Te amo (I love you) Carl."

"Love you too kiddo."

It seemed as if I had just laid my head on the pillow when I heard voices outside. Bracing myself for the worst, I opened the front door and saw my mother and Donny arguing loudly. She was wearing fishnet stockings and a skirt short enough to be considered a belt. I wanted to close my eyes and scream in frustration, but I couldn't.

"What's going on?" The boy turned to me and I saw anger in my mother's eyes.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" I wasn't going to tell her where or who we were with, so I just said,

"It was winter break Mom. I took the boys on vacation." I saw her hand raise, but I ducked and she missed my cheek.

"The hell you did!"

"Don't you duck away from her whore!" Donny's voice was deeper and louder, making me want to cringe. His teeth shone against his mocha colored skin, contrasting with my mother's cream colored complexion and my slightly tanner one. He was tall, definitely 6"5 or over....and very, very muscular, which meant I had to approach the situation carefully.

"Mom, come inside." She was chomping on her gum and I saw her hands clench into fists.

"Don't 'Mom' me. I don't want to be your mother." Even though I could smell the alcohol wafting off of her like perfume, the words still cut me like a knife.

"Just come inside. That's all you need to do." Donny moved forward and I was intimidated, stepping back.

"Bitch, what are you doing?" His breath smelled like cigarettes and beer, making the hair on my arm stand up with disgust and fear.

"Mom either you come inside or I shut the door." His face was next to mine, inches away.

"Don't threaten her." I felt his fingers slip around my hips and tighten. Vomit started coming up my throat and I could see where the situation was headed.

"Get the fuck off of me." My voice was low and dark, the fear being hidden within hatred. His mouth moved towards my ear, nipping at it.

"I think I like you telling me what to do. It's.." He paused and lightly kissed my neck. "sexy." His lips were dry and I felt dirty as he tried to move closer.

"I said get the fuck off of me." His hands moved to my butt and he pulled me closer, too close.

"Baby I can feel your heart beat racing." It wasn't because of you asshat, it was because I was freakin terrified. "It's okay to be afraid." I was shaking, trying not to show the fear in my eyes or in my actions. Glancing at my mom, I saw her smiling in pleasure. Did she like what he was doing to me? I was her daughter. Her own blood, made up of her DNA.

"Mom get him off of me." My voice was quiet, and I could finally hear the panic within each syllable. But what did my mother do? She laughed.

"Sweetheart, remember the deal." Oh, I remembered the deal all right. I lived by it.

"Mom, help me." Donny's hot breath was on my neck and I felt another light kiss.

"What's your name love?" I struggled, trying to get out of his powerful grip, but it was no use. He was to strong for me. Yelling wasn't an option either, because I would break the deal I made with my mother.

"Please let go of me."

"Her name's Charlotte. But you can call her whatever." My heart was racing, faster than the speed of light. My own mother. Donny pulled me up against his body, my arms pinned to my sides.

"Charlotte." He whispered into my other ear, letting the last sound linger. "I like the sound of it. It's very alluring." I felt his tongue line my jaw, the biting air clinging to the wet skin. I got goose bumps from the dread slowly building up inside of me like concrete, pulling me down with every second. Donny mistook the shivering that I had from the cold, saying,

"Charlotte will I be your first time?" I didn't answer. My sexual life was none of his freakin business, and I wasn't about to let him take the only thing I had left. My virginity. He probably thought my silence was a yes so he chuckled, pulling me tighter to him. "Baby," he roughly turned me around so my back was against his chest. "There's nothing to be nervous about. Though I can't promise to be very gentle." His hands pressed against my stomach, right above my waistline. I turned to my head to face him.

"I told you to get the hell off of me Donny." He pressed my body impossibly closer to his with one hand and took the other, caressing my lips gently. I wanted to cringe, but that might make him get violent.

"Talk some more baby. Your lips are making me," he yanked my face closer to his and I could smell the alcohol ten times more. "excited." With that he kissed the corner of my mouth and I almost puked.

"Don't touch me Donny." His left hand was moving farther down, and I was getting even more scared. His touch was light, as if he was waiting for me to try and run. Suddenly my body's opinion of him changed- as if I had been shocked by lightning. Though I knew in my mind I hated his every being, I began to long for him, want him. I gave a quiet involuntary moan and I heard Donny chuckle.

"You like that don't you baby?" His hand slipped lower, all of his fingertips resting on my jeans. He made feathered circles on top of the material and my stomach clenched with need. I think he could feel me tense up, because the hand that was on my lips moved down to my stomach, on the waistband of my pants. His palm pressed on my skin hard and my back writhed. I heard my mom's footsteps fade, and knew in my heart that she had gone, yet I couldn't bring myself to run. The porch light suddenly turned off and it was dark, the only glow coming from the streetlight. Donny and I were in the shadows, my face about a foot away from the stone wall.

His fingertips moved even lower and began to slowly move back and forth on top of the denim. I sucked in a breath, and he kissed the curve of my neck.

"Do you want me Charlotte?" I did, but I couldn't say it. In my mind I knew that he was bad, that I hated him and wanted him dead. But my body was betraying me. His movements got faster, but only slightly and I could tell he was taunting me. His teeth grazed my skin and I writhed again, my butt pressing into his waist. I could feel him getting turned on by the movement and the hand that was holding my stomach moved once more. It slipped underneath my jeans leisurely, making sure to make me shiver. I bit my lip and he said darkly,

"Baby," I moaned at the name and he said it again, this time pronouncing each syllable, "Baby. Don't you bite that lip." His hand began moving a tiny bit faster, and I bit my lip again, not wanting to say a word. He started grinding his body on me, ever so slowly, knowing I was getting frustrated.

"What did I say about biting that lip?" His left hand kept making feathery circles on top of the jeans and I felt hot fire in the pit of my stomach, wanting him to kiss me. But the words never came out, I couldn't speak.

"Charlotte," I felt his tongue on my jaw and I turned so my face was towards his.

"What?" I let my lips linger on the word and saw his eyes flash towards them. Finally, his hand underneath my pants started picking up the pace, though not as hurriedly as I wished. I let out a quiet gasp and he kissed the corner of my mouth again.

"When you speak you get a reward." I don't know what came over me. It was as though something else possessed my body and mind.

"What about," I paused and let my hand come up and grazed his dry lips, "punishment?" His eyes glinted and his hand moved even faster, making me moan, louder this time.

"Rewards. Now kiss me." And that's when everything stopped. All of my want, all of my need, and all of my desire. It was as if all of my emotions came flooding back to me. It was almost as if angels were reminding me that I hadn't even had my first kiss yet. Why would I let this man take everything from me- especially my first kiss.

"No. Get the hell off of me." He chuckled, obviously not sensing the sudden change in mood.

"I thought we were passed that Charl-" I finally got the strength and shoved him away. All in all I felt...dirty.

"I mean it get the hell away." Donny's eyes were angry and I could see how pissed he was. His hand raised and I braced myself for the slap, but before anything happened-

I woke up in a cold sweat with Ryan shaking me, my face wet with tears.