merry christmas eve.

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I smile as I carry the bag of Cheetos and box of coke. Tonight C/n and I were having our famous movie night where we watch oldies like grease and the outsiders.
Tonight it was Pippi Longstocking and we were actually really excited about it.
I knock three times with my free hand and patiently wait for him to open the door.
I decided to go simple today. Fashionable sweats with my baggy t shirt that had the Wendy's girl on it saying "Pippi Longstocking" due to our movie choice.
The door opens, revealing C/n in his sweats and a baggy hoodie. "Hi." He says, cheerfully. "Hey." I reply, smiling back. "Y/n, I told you, I had snacks covered." He says, his eyes shifting to my bag of Cheetos and coke.
"And I told you I don't like celery." I giggle, walking into his dorm room and sitting on his couch.
"Take a seat." He says chuckling at me welcoming myself in. I open my half empty bag of chips as we begin watching the movie. At the end of the first movie on our list I go to grab a coke, C/n following behind.
See, I had this secret crush on him and we'd always get comfortable around each other. I was willing to finally tell him and now seems right.
I turn towards him, smiling at his adorable face. "What?" He asks me. I look down at the floor as I play with my fingers.
"See, C/n, ever since we became friends in our first year I kinda had this crush on you. Just thought you should know." I let out a deep breath.
He sighs, obviously feeling bad for me.
"I... I um like someone else. Cassie, to be exact." He tells me, avoiding eye contact.
I should've known.
I feel a lump grow in my throat as he continues. "We can still be friends, right?" He asks, raising my chin to look at him.
"Uh yeah. Yeah of course!" I say, fake smiling and desperately trying to hold my sobs in. "So we still got footloose to watch. Whatdya say?" He smiles, hopefully.
"I like footloose and in this state I don't really want to have this memory every time I watch it. I should go anyways." I tell him, looking away.
He nods his head, understanding.

Once I'm in my room, the lump in my throat I was holding in wouldn't stay in any longer.
Tears flow down my cheeks as I begin choking on my breath- or what I had left.
I know it's not fair of me to wallow because I boy doesn't feel the same way. I can't force love on anyone.
But mourning seems to be the easiest.

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i'm in such a sad mood sorry guys.