Reagan was finally back in school, Riley was excited about her tumbling classes, Braden was becoming a very good friend of mine and Rey...well Rey was being Rey. It all added up to a kind of slow month. And I was still listening to Sheppard go on and on about football.

"I just really like it. I plan on getting at least three options for colleges to play football at. The coach said I'm definitely getting on vastity next year since I'm already on junior-"

"Mooommm! Will you pleeeaaassseee tell him to stop? I'm drowning in useless talk about smelly football. I'd rather listen to him talk about girls!" I fake bang my head on the island.

Sheppard stops talking and glares at me from behind the countertop. Mom also glares at me for whining and making fun of Sheppard -even though my whining and mocking was definitely necessary to shut him up. I honestly would rather hear about his gag worthy crushes than listen to more football talk.

"Barkley, your brother is excited. Let him talk about what he wants," She gives me a pointed look.

"Come on, please! I know you don't care about this at all," She crosses her arms and I prepare for bullshit.

"I like hearing about this! It's nice for one of my sons to share anything about his life with me. He's passionate," I can't help but roll my eyes.

He's the youngest and normal, that's why mom lets him talk about anything nonstop. Both my parents would give anything in the world to Sheppard. It was bad when he was only the youngest, but when he became the not-a-disappointment-child, not even a real baby is as babied as Sheppard.

"Whatever," I stand up straight and am about to leave the room when Mom calls my name.

"Barkley, wait!" I sigh and turn around, "Why don't you and Shep go out and go shopping for your father's birthday? We're having cake, and your grandma is even flying in for his 50th." 

Great, celebrating my no longer father of a father and his equal obnoxious mother -Grandma Tawny- sounds like a good party. Maybe I'll just buy him some toilet paper, it is his 50th, I have to go all out. 

"Ooh, yeah," Sheppard slips off the barstool and snatches my keys off the dinning room table, "I'm driving."

"Uh-huh, dumbass, my car, I drive," I ignore mom yelling at me for language as I chase after Sheppard.

I grab my wallet on the way to the door, Sheppard already out and in the driver's seat. I groan, slamming the front door shut and reluctantly slipping into the passenger's side door.

"Where are we going and what are we getting dad?" I cringe at every movement Sheppard makes, critiquing him in my mind and out loud.

"Don't know, don't care. Whatever you want, we'll just write my name on the card," I take my sunglasses out of the glovebox.

"Barkley! I don't know what to get him? What do you get a dad for his 50th birthday?" He keeps whining but drives to the small outlet mall. 

"Again, don't know, don't care. I'm not sure if you noticed this, but I'm not exactly close with Dad anymore," I glance at Sheppard before looking out the window, "I try to keep the feeling mutual. Doesn't care about me, don't care about him."

"He cares about you," I give him a look but he doesn't notice, "I think you're too hard on him."

I sit up, gasping, "Too hard on him? Sheppard, you have no idea! You should have saw how he reacted when I came out to him. When I was most vulnerable! He basically spits on me! I'm lucky he even lets me live with you guys," I shake my head, forcing myself not to feel sad.

"Is it really that bad? How he acted towards you?" Sheppard's voice is weak.

Even though Sheppard is only two years younger than me, he's always been more sheltered. The family dynamic barely changed when he was around. Dad acted like maybe he had an ounce of care in his heart for me. I've never told him the worst parts, I didn't ruin his innocence like mine was taken from me.

"Yeah. Shep, I really don't want to scare you or force you to have a bad relationship with Dad like me. But after that day, I think we just stopped loving each other. It happens, I couldn't stop it. I mean, no kid wishes to hate their parent, but I couldn't give into him and ruin myself just to please him. If I continue to love someone who didn't have the best interest for me, it was only going to bite me in the butt."

I watch Sheppard and his face. He doesn't take his eyes off the road, and I know that's because he's scared to look at me. Dad's like a best friend to him. Hearing someone call him anything less than what Sheppard holds him to, it must crush him.

"Oh," Was all he said and I couldn't help but let a small smile tug at my lips.

"Yeah. But you get him something good. He hasn't fucked you over yet," Sheppard laughs and I grin.

As much as I can't stand my brother, I still loved him. Occasionally. Mostly when he's sleeping. But I'll let him have this moment. Just this once.

"Okay, none of this help me figure out what to get him. I swear he already has what he needs. A cup? A shirt? Old men are too tricky," Sheppard parks in front of a Ross/ T.J. Max combination like store.

"I don't know. Just wander around and see if we see anything that screams old man," Sheppard rolls his eyes, but I thought it was a good plan. It's what I do for mom, who has everything I can think she might want. 

"What? Old people like random shit, definitely not my fault," I hold up my hands and walk through the door Sheppard's holding open.

"Maybe he wants a spa day?" I burst out laughing and Sheppard sighs.

"You'd have better luck getting him a new welcome mat," I pick one up - it's surprisingly heavy- and holds it out to Sheppard who shakes his head and pushes it away.

At this rate, Dad's going to turn 60 before Sheppard chooses something. I offer random things out to him a couple times on each aisle and he only shakes his head. Finally, we decided on a football-shaped mug because we were both tired and kind of hungry.

"I could use some ice cream," I deepen my tone when I say ice cream.

"Oh, hell yeah bitch. A cone sounds amazing," Sheppard tilts his head back in the pleasure of thinking about ice cream and that's when I realize he truly is my brother.

"You buy the mug, I'll buy ice cream?" I give him a creepy smile to convince him.

"Um, then we're going to a full-blown ice cream shop. I ain't getting no one dollar ice cream for this bitch," I stick my tongue out and agree.

He pays for the mug, I steal my keys back and drive us to an ice cream parlor. It's been a while since Sheppard and I have hung out together. 

I grin at the boy sitting across from me with chocolate dripping down his hand. What a dimwit. I hate how this is why we are related.

~~~

My feet hurt and the sound of beeping is permanently going to ring in my head till I die. I force a smile and hand the woman her receipt.

"You have 12 hundred fuel point available till the end of the month. Have a good night," I end with a nod, as I usually do.

The woman gives me a sad attempt of a smile and pushes her cart away. I look at my checker, Lynn who fans her hand behind the check out stand. It's our sign for a hot customer. Let's just say Lynn's my favorite to work with. 

I widen my eyes at her and turn with a smile to our next customer. My eyes widen for real this time when I see Rey and Reagan.

"Hey guys, I never thought I'd see you here?" I can hear Lynn loudly opening a bag and I know she'll make me explain later.

"I saw you and forced Rey to choose a candy bare just so we got in your line," Reagan bounces slightly as she sets an arm full down, and Rey places only a few items on top.

I begin checking the chips, "And what candy bar did you finally decide on?"

He doesn't say anything before glancing down at the payday candy bar in the pile. I check it, then hold it in the air.

"Uh, who's man is he?" Reagan nods and rolls her eyes, and I can see Lynn and her look of disbelief, "Payday? And would you like that with you or in the bag?"

Rey's chest puffs out a little, I shouldn't have noticed, but it almost looked like he laughed without laughing, "Bag is fine."

I chuckle and toss the candy bar down to Lynn who catches and bags it. I keep talking to both of them as I check, but only Reagan responds which makes me a little mad.

Standing here, in front of Rey, I can't help but remember the story Braden told me. How Rey's ex broke his heart and he completely changed.  I wonder, if she hadn't broken up with him, would he respond to me? Or would he have changed no matter what?

"Here's your receipt, wanna come over tonight?" I hand it to Reagan.

"Duh, your mom cracks me up," I groan and they take their bags. I hate it when my friend loves my parents, "When do you get off."

"Nine."

"Catch ya' at ten," She winks at me and I roll my eyes.

 They leave and no one else enters our line yet. It's already eight at night, so we're slow. And most people prefer to do self-checkout and I respect.

"What the fuck?" Lynn leans in and narrows her eyes as she whispers harshly, "How do you know such hot people?"

I roll my eyes and turn off my light so we can talk, "I've become friends with his sister, he's just an added benefit. But isn't he gorge?"

"Fuck yeah, that boy can take me right here," I also like Lynn because she has the dirtiest mind, "That whole bad boy persona. I'm rolling in my grave. Set a straight sister up?" She wiggles her eyebrows at me and I lean on the checkout counter.

"Sorry baby, I'm all about you getting laid, but so far I haven't seen Rey even glance at anyone like that," I hold my hands up in defense, " I don't know if he has a girlfriend or something."

She groans in disappointment and I give her a sad look. I feel you girl, I feel you.