FIFTY THREE

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Ace's POV

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It's a whole day since she's been gone.

It's only been a day, but it feels like it's been months.

I've already made changes around the house since she left. The first thing I did was change all of the soldiers and Capos' phone numbers. It was a dick move, but if they kept talking to Hannah I knew she would find a way back into our lives. I wasn't going to change her number or cut the phone off, it was the least I could do after all the hell I've caused her.

Starting tomorrow, everyone will be back to training. No one has trained in months around here and they were all starting to get too lazy for their own good. I don't care if they want to talk amongst themselves at the end of the day, but I made it clear to them that, just because we're in a safe house, doesn't mean we aren't working.

Everyone has been on edge around me since I pulled my gun on Sarah. I haven't been called by my name since then, only Don. Ben tried to talk to me, but I avoided him like the plague. I didn't have time for his sappy therapy sessions right now, I needed to focus.

Now that Annika was aligned with us, that made the war three to one. It would be easy to end this now and, I'm hoping, there won't be any blood shed. A slight part of me wishes there would be, that I could end this war by killing off the whole American mafia, but I knew that would never happen.

I decided to fly Annika and Cixi to the safe house and have them stay with us. The plan is for all of us to meet on neutral ground and end this stupid war for good. Annika took Hannah's old room and Cixi took it upon herself to stay in mine.

I wanted to say that it didn't bother me, but it did. It felt wrong having Cixi sleep in Hannah's place. I never realized it, but Cixi and I would always have casual hook ups before Hannah. Once things started her though, they stopped with Cixi.

I slept with her again since Hannah's been gone. I thought it would help me get my mind off of her, help me forget. If anything, it only made things worse. I felt dirty, sleeping with Cixi. Even though Hannah and I were over, I felt like I was cheating on her. Cixi could tell I was distant too. Hell, I almost couldn't get it up when we started.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Cixi asked from behind me as she got out of the bed, putting on a robe. "Ace?"

"I'm fine." was all I told her.

I heard her leave the room as she walked into the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief as soon as she left, I was finally alone again. Cixi will always be an important person to me, but I wish she was on the other side of the world right now. I didn't want to be around her, or Annika, or anyone else in this fucking house. As soon as we left, I was burning this place to the ground. Though, I had a feeling that the memories wouldn't burn with it.

Cixi came back into the room a few minutes later with a glass of wine. She sat it down on her night stand before cutting off the lamp and climbing into the bed. She tried to scoot closer to me but I kept moving away until I almost fell off the edge, causing her to let out an aggravated sigh before moving back to the other side.

"Ace, why did you even sleep with me?"

"Because I had nothing better to do."

"Nothing or no one?" She asked. We were both silent before she decided to speak up again. "I thought you loved her. No offense, but that was the worst sex I've ever had, and let's not even mention the fact that you mumbled a name when you finished. It wasn't even mine."

"I do love her Cixi."

"Then why the fuck did you send her away? Why the fuck did you sleep with me?"

"I couldn't have her in this life, Cixi. You and I both know she'd be hurt, or used against me, or killed. I could never live with myself if something happened to her. It took everything in me to keep going when she was kidnapped."

"Did she not love you back?"

"No, that's the problem. She did." That caused Cixi to abruptly sit up straight.

"Ace, you fucking idiot! Do you realize the life we're living?! We live in a world where we have everything. We have money, power, and everything the world has to offer at our finger tips. The one thing no one in our life ever has is love. 

"You and I were in love at one point. My father wanted us to marry, but you got scared and fled. I couldn't blame you for it, we were young anyways. When I married Kai, there was no love in our marriage. Were we happy? Sure, but there was never any love. My mother told me it would blossom from our marriage but my father didn't care. He was just happy his daughter was able to make him an alliance.

"Ace you're twenty three now. You're not that same kid that my father asked to marry me. You've grown up and you need to start fucking acting like it. You can't run from those you love forever. Eventually you're gonna have to accept that you're capable of loving someone, and they're capable of loving you back.

"Take advice from someone whose been married. If you get love in this world, keep it. Hold on to them like they're you're lifeline. When someone loves you, they're gonna be there for you on your weakest and strongest days. We may be strong, but we suffer a lot of weakness in this life. It's better to have someone be there for you than for you to go through it alone."

After she finished, she got up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going."

"I'm sleeping in Annika's room." She said, walking out.

I groaned as I rubbed my forehead. Im so tired of everyone telling me what I already know. I know I love Hannah, I know she loves me. It isn't that simple though. She may love me enough to risk her life, but I love her enough to let her go. I've got a lot of blood on my hands, but if it were hers, I'd kill myself before anyone else got the chance.

I don't want her in this war and I don't want her in this life. I just wish that people would understand I'm not running away with my tail tucked between my fucking legs. I hate it, just like everyone else, but sending Hannah away was the most mature decision I've ever made. 

My thoughts were cut off when my phone rang. I didn't know why someone was calling me at two in the fucking morning, but they were going to be dead by tomorrow. It wasn't just anyone though. It was Hannah. I debated on answering it, I don't think I had it in me to argue with her again, I'd probably just bring her back. I went against my judgement, though, afraid something was wrong.

"Hannah?" I asked as I answered it. The line was silent for a moment, nothing but the sound of shaky breaths. "Are you okay?" I asked, starting to sit up.

"If you want me out of your life, that's fine." She said softly. "It hurts like hell, but I'll live. If you want me out of the mafia, I'll accept leaving the one place I felt like I had a family. But you will not cut me off from your world. You will not isolate me from my best friends. 

"I met them before we were together. They helped me find myself, better myself, and learn how to be myself. They are the few people that I have ever been able to call family. Love me, hate me, I don't give a fuck, Ace. You can force me to leave the mafia, leave our home, leave you. But do not make me leave my fucking friends too.

"You may not have experienced it first hand, but I have gotten very good with my knives. Don't think for a second I won't come after you if you try to keep them from me. You won't let me love you, but they let me love them. Don't take that away from me, Ace."

I wanted to say something but she quickly hung up the phone. What could I say, though? She was right. She was in no fucking position to be threatening me, but I was in no position to take her friends from her. 

Before the war, trusted soldiers were allowed to go into town. They could make friends and see family if they were close by, they just couldn't come to the compound or know about this life. We may not be on good terms right now, but I couldn't keep them from Hannah. She was right, it wasn't my place.

I went to my messages with Hannah.

Ace: Sarah's new number. 865-444-2390

Hannah: Thank you.

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Last chap for tonight. Love Y'all! Comment and Vote!

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