I don't wake up sweating this time, jerking awake from the nightmare.

No.

This time I feel like I'm paralyzed, stuck in the same position laying on the bed my eyes wide staring at the ceiling, completely out of it. My heart still feels like it might explode and the panic in my chest is greater.

Because I did not have a nightmare about Cohen.

I had a nightmare about someone who could be worse, someone I haven't had a nightmare about in a long time, someone I tried so hard to delete from my memory with fail apparently.

I'm still stuck, not being able to move or soothe myself.

What feels like an hour of panic passes before I regain mobility in my body.

I sit up from the bed and let out a heavy sigh, holding my head in my hands and rubbing my temples due to the straining headache I have.

There are dried tears on my face that I wipe away, not even realizing I cried in the first place.

I go to the bathroom to throw cold water on my face, getting rid of the panicky feeling completely and leave my room.

I can hear voices getting louder as I make my way down the hallway. Laughter coming from the kitchen that I ignore and make my way to the laundry room that's in the opposite direction.

I expected to find my clothes still in the dryer but as I approach, I see them all folded into a neat pile on top of the dryer.

I don't remember doing that last night.

Which means someone else did it for me. I try not to dwell on that for too long, thinking about a nice gesture after what I heard last night.

Last night.

I'm not as upset as I was when I first heard Finns words.

After my mission clarity sank in. I held on to hope that I could fit in somewhere, find a home of my own, someone who loves me.

And I might not have found some of that, but that's okay.

I can't expect people to like me, especially if they were forced to live with me and I won't hold it against them.

If we weren't meant to be friends then that's that.

I won't be rude and ignore him or treat him differently than before, but my expectations have been set for the rest of my time here and what to expect from him and I won't hold any animosity towards him.

But I don't think at this moment I want to spend time with him, especially after the nightmare.

So, I grab my clothes from on top of the dryer and head back to my room.

Now in the light of the day I can fully inspect my clothes.

There's a rip in the abdomen where I have a matching cut on myself. Its not big but it's a little annoying.

I really liked this shirt.

Other than that, nothing else stands out, the blood and dirt were completely washed out but now I can see the sweatshirt more clearly.

And there's no way I'm giving this back.

It's not just a black sweatshirt but has a print on the back of it, one that I recognize right away

Elvis.

It's a print of Elvis in concert and someone's going to have to fight me if they want it back.

Elvis and Frank Sinatra were the only artists I was allowed to listen too, and even that was on rare equations, but I loved them.

I put the sweatshirt on my body and smile.

Although I look like I'm slightly drowning in it, I love it.

I put the rest of the clothes from yesterday away in my closet and leave the room, but instead of heading right, down the hallway and towards the talking and laughter I turn left, right into the small library with comfy looking couches.

I look over the book options but a title catches my eyes making me stop in my tracks.

Harry Potter

A small sad smile spreads across my face as I take book number one out of its place on the bookshelf and get comfortable on one of the couches.

Although I've already read this one, it was years ago and if I want to read the rest of the series, I should read this one first.

I smile as I flip through the pages, getting lost in the magic of the book that I don't even realize the shadow now standing over me.

I look up at the intrusion.

Finn

He's staring down at my sweatshirt an even meaner scowl than usual and I can't help but picture the smile he had on his face last night, maybe one day I'll get to see it again.

Although it probably won't be when I'm in the room.

He still just stares at the sweatshirt, his fists clenched at his side.

How long has he been standing there without me noticing?

I clear my throat causing his eyes to dart to my face as he swallows and trusts his hand out towards me, I look down at the plate of food he was holding in his hand.

How did I not notice that?

Probably because you were too busy staring and admiring his beautiful face.

He's still scowling at me even though he's offering food.

"No thank you."

I'm not very hungry.

His scowl deepens even more, something I wouldn't even think was possible.

He brings the plate even closer to me, "Eat it Jade," his tone is demanding but his eyes weirdly soften a little bit.

I scowl back at him, "I'm not hungry"

I don't want to eat this mean guy's food, no matter how fucking hot he is.

He sighs and sets the plate down on the coffee table in front of me and turns to walk back down the hallway.

Yay I won

I turn to start reading again but a sound at the end of the hallway makes me look.

Okay I guess I didn't win.

Finn makes his way back down the hallway with something in his hands and as he gets closer, I recognize it.

The cookie tin

He stops in front of me and gives me a cocky smile, although it beautiful it nothing compared to his full one.

"If you finish what's on the plate, I'll give you a cookie."

Is this guy for real bargaining with me?

Also why does he care so much that I'm eating anything, one would think he would be happy if I starved, but apparently not.

I look to the plate on the coffee table and groan.

That's way too much food for me to eat, I mean it looks like it would even be to much for him to eat and that's saying something.

"A quarter of the food and I want two cookies."

He glares.

Well, I guess he didn't like my counter offer then.

"Half the food and one cookie."

Ummmm no

"A little less than half the food and two cookies, final offer."

He lets out a groan but mutters a fine.

I guess those episode of pawn wars with Cohen paid off for something.

Finn takes a seat on the couch across from me and I look at him confused.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm watching you actually eat the food and then I'll give you the cookies, to make sure you don't lie to me." He grumbles.

He has a hot grumble

Really Jade?

"I don't lie."

"Really," he says it like that's completely unbelievable and I scowl at him.

"Really," I don't like that he perceives me as a liar.

"Okay then, where were you last night?"

He looks at me expectantly with his eyebrows raised as if it was a sure thing my answer would be a lie.

I grab the plate in front of me a mixture of eggs, bacon and I think hashbrowns, and take a bite before looking at him.

"When last night?"

I continue to eat my eggs as his nostrils flare, and he glares.

"I want to know everything that you did last night."

I try the hashbrowns and damn they're good.

"I went outside the academy, " I shrug

I told myself I wouldn't lie if they asked and he's asking so I won't lie.

He looks a little shocked, "for what?"

"For a mission."

He rolls his eyes, like that's so farfetched and leans back on the couch, "yeah I'm sure you did."

I ignore his tone, "I did."

"There's no way you went on a mission Jade, since you live in this apartment you would be a part of our mission group, and since we didn't go on a mission last night and you wouldn't be put into another group I know that's not true."

"I went on a solo mission."

He scoffs, "No one goes on solo missions here, let alone you."

Okay rude, but I can't necessarily blame him for not believing me.

I place the plate back down on the coffee table, a little less than half now eaten, and extend my hand to him.

"Cookie please."

He gives me that cocky smile again, "Not until you tell me the truth of last night."

I throw my hands up in the air exasperated, "That wasn't the deal we made, and I did tell you the truth."

He narrows his eyes at me, "prove it."

I stand up from the couch, grab the hem of the sweatshirt and start to lift it up, his eyes widening the higher it goes.

I take the bandage off my wound and show it to him, "I've even got a battle wound to prove it," I smile but when I look back at Finn his bodies completely tense and his eyes are wide as he looks over my whole body.

"Baby, what happened?"

What?

Didn't I just tell this man, but when I look at him his eyes aren't just on what I'm showing him but looking over my entire torso.

I look down at myself and realization sinks in, he's not looking at the wound and bruises I'm trying to show him, he's looking at the numerous scars littered throughout my abdomen, old and new.

Oh shit.

He scowls as he grips my torso to inspect it closer, "who did this to you?"

He looks very angry but for once I don't think it's at me but at what someone's done to me.

And that realization makes me ache down there.

Okay wow that's a weird feeling, what the fuck.

"Princess?"

His voice is soft as well as his hands holding me.

Finn's still looking at my scars and even tries to lift my sweatshirt up higher to inspect if there's more.

He looks in my eyes and I think I see a hint of worry in them, "he's dead Finn, now can I have my cookies."

Despite the worry in his eyes he smiles, like an actual smile and he even lets out a little chuckle.

Oh my god the ache just got worse.

He turns around and grabs the container taking out two cookies.

Yayyyyyy

He hands them to me and I quickly take them.

My sweatshirts down now but he still looks as if he can see through it, "will you tell me what happened?"

I give him a soft smile, "maybe one day."

He nods and crosses the library, grabbing a book off the shelf and sitting next to me, opening his book and starting to read.

Ummmm okay

I guess not hanging around him today is out of the picture.

I finish my cookies and start to read again, only to be interrupted by Finns randomly angry voice.

"Whose sweatshirt is that?"

I look over to him and sure enough he's glaring again.

"Stop glaring, and it's the driver who drove me home, I had a lot of blood on me by the time the mission was over, but I won't be giving it back."

He scowls. "Why do you like him!?"

The fuck is wrong with this man.

I can't help but let out a little giggle, "no, I just really like Elvis."

He doesn't look convinced but doesn't pry more and turns back to his book.

I turn around and get comfortable again, doing so a number of times throughout the next hour, enough so that I find my head laying on Finn's lap as he softly strokes my hair, both of us still reading.

Well, isn't this a whole 180, but I don't question it too much.

I feel content and because of that I slowly start falling asleep with my head in his lap.