Warning: minor mention of difficulty eating (not exactly ed, but still a struggle), discussion of seasonal depression, if you also suffer with SAD just know that you are not alone🫶🏻

You heard the door click shut from your place on the couch. You huddled further under the blanket, the only light in the room being the tv playing some nonsense reality show. You weren't really paying attention to it anyways.

"Honey?" Spencer called, obviously unnerved by the absence of your usual greeting at the door.

He had been gone for a week and a half, and your seasonal depression had set in during the last half. The weather turned colder, drearier, cloudier and with it you will to do just about anything flew out the window. You were a grad student having just got off for your university's winter break, so thankfully you didn't have any assignments due.

You went to work at the cafe down the street during the weekdays, and your coworkers could tell something was off. You went through the motions without your usual spark, your words few and short and your eyes tired.

You found it hard to make yourself even shower or eat. You did enough to get by, but other than that your existence was in a blanket burrito on the couch, starting at the wall and thinking about how you could feel so bad when your life was so great.

You didn't tell Spencer any of this. You never wanted to worry him on a case, for fear of distracting him or making him come home. The team needed him to save the world, and you promised yourself you would never come between him and work unless it was an emergency.

He had asked why you weren't responding much during your last phone call with him, and you simply told him you were tired and getting ready to start your period. He didn't pry after that.

"In here!" You responded, but it came out as a muffled murmur.

Spencer entered the room with a somewhat panicked look in his eyes, immediately taking a knee on the floor next to your head. "Hey, honey, are you okay? Are you sick?"

He put the back of his large hand gently against your forehead, frowning. You stared at him blankly.

"You're not warm." Worry lines appeared across his forehead and between his brows. He smoothed your hair back. "Tell me what's wrong, honey. Please."

You shrugged. "It happens every year. I just feel like I can't do anything."

A sigh escaped his lips. "Seasonal affective disorder is a serious type of depression. Why didn't you tell me you were starting to feel it come on?"

You gave another weak shrug. "I didn't want to bother you. It started after you left."

He shook his head, standing for a moment before scooping you up with his unexpected strength and cradling you in his lap as he sat. "Listen. There is not a thing in the world that comes before you. Not my job, not my friends, not even myself. I need you to tell me if there is ever something wrong, okay?"

You felt the tears running before you even realized you were crying. You nestled yourself into the crook of his neck, allowing him to rock you and whisper affirmations that everything would be just fine. You could handle this. You were strong. And most of all, you weren't alone.

"Hey, go grab your cozy robe and that blanket you love from the bedroom, I have an idea," he instructed softly, helping you get up.

You gave him a suspicious look but padded off in your socked feet, putting your robe on over your pajamas and gathering up your favorite blanket. Spencer followed you, changing into a pair of plaid pajama pants and his CalTech sweatshirt. He then took your hand and led you to the front door, where he pushed your house shoes towards you with his foot while slipping his on.

You put them on and watched as he grabbed his keys. "Where are we going?"

"Just trust me," he said, flashing you his goofy Spencer smile. You couldn't say no to that.

He opened the passenger door to his Nissan for you, holding the blanket while you buckled in before draping it over your lap. He hopped into the drivers seat and off you went into the night.

He pulled into your favorite coffee place that stayed open late. He dove through and got you both a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.

You smiled gratefully, listening to Christmas music on the radio while sipping your beverage, his large hand resting gently on your thigh.

When he turned into a suburban neighborhood, you looked at him, confused. "Spencer, what are we doing?"

"Look out your window." He gave your thigh a squeeze before taking your hand in his over the console.

You turned and let out a small gasp. Nearly every house was decorated in elaborate Christmas decorations. Lights lined the roofs and trees in the yard, glowing inflatable penguins and Santas and cartoon characters dotted the landscape. Some had plastic reindeers and sleighs, some have glowing signs or nativity scenes. Every house was unique and you could see the attention that was given to decorating each one.

"Feel any better?" Spencer asked, turning off one subdivision into another, also decorated.

Your eyes brimmed with tears again and you nodded. "Thank you, Spence."

"Anything for my girl," he squeezed your hand and you knew it was true. He would do anything for you. "My mom used to wake me up in the middle of the night once a year around Christmas, usually if I had had a bad day. She would have hot chocolate made and put them in travel mugs and then she would load me up into the car and tell me she had a surprise. Then she'd drive me around little neighborhoods just like this to look at the lights."

Your heart tugged at the mention of Diana. You knew it was hard for him to talk about memories of her, given her condition, so you cherished every glimpse he gave you.

"I love that she made those memories for you," you said softly, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb.

"I've always wanted to do the same thing for my kids one day," he confessed.

Your heart fluttered. "Are you asking me to have your babies, Spencer Reid?" You giggled.

His ears and cheeks flushed pink in the dim light of the car and he chuckled. "I thought that was implied with the ring."

You wiggled your ring finger around, glancing down at the diamond that sat on it. "I think I remember that part of the deal, now that you mention it." You gave him a teasing grin. "I can see it. Us bundling up our kids and loading them up in their car seats in the back of the Subaru. One boy, one girl, of course. They'd been too little for hot chocolate so we would just warm them up some chocolate milk in sippy cups. They'd ooh and ahh and point at all the pretty lights."

Spencer's smile was radiant. "What did I do to deserve you?"

You pretended to think about it. "Probably sold your soul in another life or something."

He just laughed, driving you around as long as you wanted before taking you back to the apartment and snuggling up with you in bed. You went to sleep that night grateful for him and all the comfort he brought.

Hey guys! I'm not dead! Here's a little Spencer Christmas blurb that is probably not that great to hold you over while I work on some other chapters. I'm finally on winter break from school so I can hopefully get some good writing out to y'all soon! Hope you enjoy and are having a great year!

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