THIS HAS NOT BEEN REWRITTEN.

This Oneshot is rather short, and I'm not sure if I got the accent right or the sluggish voice right, (cause I've never been drunk or been around someone so intoxicated that they sound weird) but I had fun writing this.

Russia || Male
Philippines ||Male

😋
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okaaaayyyyy..... My tUrN,,,, RuSsiAaA." America slurred, taking a shot of whiskey. "MmMMmm?" Russia responded, looking at America's blurry figure. Where were they? America, Russia, and Philippines decided to go drinking. Originally it was just going to be America and Russia, but even though Philippines and Russia weren't all that close, the American country still asked if he would come.

And here they are, getting completely wasted. They were on limited time, because America made sure that Canada would come and pick them up so they didn't have to stagger down the streets looking like a bunch of lunatics trying to find America's house.

And Canada was due to arrive in about ten minutes.

"I..... DaRe yoU to StanD up on,,,,, The bAr with PhiL, and sing MilkSHakE..." (listed above.) America dared, somehow managing to get his phone out. "AmmmeriiiKKKKkkKaA......... I acCept Vvour cHallEnGee." Russia accepted, grabbing Philippines and standing up. "Vouuu Know sOnG,,,,,,, п-право??" (R-Right?) Russia slurred, slightly leaning on Philippines. The youngest male country pushed Russia away, and had a determined look on his face, besides the fact that he was wasted. "YeAahHh...." he said, standing on the bar, almost falling over. Thankfully he didn't.

Russia tried to join him, but fell over with a Oof sound. But he tried again, and succeeded. The bartender was yelling at them to get down, but they either couldn't hear him, or didn't care enough to listen to him.

Nobody else really cared either, they were too busy getting drunk themselves to care. Somehow, by some miracle, America managed to find his camera, and hit the record button. His phone was also blasting the music, so at least Philippines and Russia would be somewhat on track of the tune.

"Vvyy MilkShAKeS briNG VaLl The boYs to the YaRd." Russia started, surprisingly in English. He also brought his fist up to his mouth, and was using it as a microphone. When he finished his part, he then pushed his hand in Philippines face, as to give the microphone to him, but the smaller country didn't even mind, he held Russia's hand and did the next part. "AnD TheY'rE liKe; iTzz beTtEr thAn youRs," Philippines said, his slurring almost matching Russia's.

Phillipines didn't even have all that many bottles, it was Russia who had the most. He had nine, and still counting. America was holding one, occasionally sipping at it, not liking the taste of vodka all that much, but whatever it took to get you drunk, right? Russia leaned towards Philippines, so both of them could sing/scream the next part. But he leaned a tad too hard, because he bashed his head into the smaller countries, but it didn't even phase Philippines. So the two vodka smelling countries did the next part.

"DAMN VIGHT!"

The countries yelled at the top of their lungs, but only two or three other countries turned their heads to the noise, most still not caring. The bartender was mad, and was still yelling at Russia and Philippines to get down, but both countries stayed put. America was trying desperately not to double over laughing, and it was hard. He was also still recording, and made a vow to himself that he would never let sober Russia delete it. Sober Philippines would just laugh.

"ITzz beTteR thAn VvoUrs" Russia continued, starting to sway his hips to the beat, or rather, what he thought the beat was. That gave Phillipines a stupid idea. He started to dance wildly, he was drunk, his vision was not the greatest, and he was on a bar. And that had consequences. "I coULd teAch VoUu, But I-" he only got halfway, because then he slipped on something. Everything then went into slow motion.

Everyone was watching him now, as he slowly fell to the floor, America being a jerk and still recording, Philippines was sober enough to know that hitting the floor from the height he was face first would hurt, so he closed his eyes, and braced for impact. However that never came, he left himself land in someone's arms, and opened them to find Canada.

Everyone started to cheer, everyone but the bartender. Russia decided that it would be a good time to climb down from where he was standing, so he practically jumped on America in order to get down and not fall over. People stopped cheering and started to continue their conversations just like before. Canada was not happy. "What the heck were you two thinking?" He asked, making Phillipines stand up on his own, but the smaller country just leaned back on Russia, with the taller country leaning back on him.

"VeE veRe SingInG..."

Then the bartender walked over to Canada, and explained everything. America was still recording, not giving a crap. Canada profusely apologized on behalf of his idioc brother and friends, the Canadian in him showing. The bartender then Personally kicked them all out, saying they were never allowed back at that bar.

Canada somehow managed to get all three completely wasted countries into his car, America in the passenger's seat, and Russia and Philippines in the back.

While Canada drove, he lectured America about everything that the bartender told him, and Confiscated his phone, telling him he wasn't allowed it until he was sober. Philippines leaned on Russia, then whispered something to him. "ToTallY woRth it?" He slurred, looking at Russia with a smirk planted on his face. The Russian just looked back with the exact same face. "полностью..." (Completely...)

~~E.N.D.~~