Chapter Twenty-seven

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This chapter is dedicated to Wayward4A for all the votes on the chapters. Your support means so much! Thank you.

I rush out of the bathroom. I have no idea where to look for them, and my mind is too cluttered to even think clearly. I just hurry down the hall.

"Oh my God! Jess, there you are! I called you like ten times." Steff jumps out of a corner, and she holds my shoulders at an arm's length. Her words slowly register, and I dig my phone out to find a few missed calls from her.

"Jayden and Liam got in a fight. I heard Jayden beat Liam up real bad. They said he didn't fight back or even defend himself. I heard... I heard it was about you." She cautiously looks at me.

"I heard Brittany and Shannon talking about it in the girls' bathroom," I tell her, and her eyes widen with realization. "Where is he? Liam, did you see him?"

"No. But Ryan said that he and Elliot got to them before Jayden could do much damage."

"Why wouldn't he defend himself? I don't get it!" I feel nauseous.

I have the worst headache, and I seriously feel like I might pass out any second now. I sway a little, and Steff grabs my arm, steadying me.

"Hey, are you feeling sick?"

I shake my head, resting my palms against my forehead.

"Just the headache. I'm fine."

The first bell goes off, and Steff sighs.

"Maybe you should go to the nurse, Jess. You don't look so good." She says, but I shake my head again.

"No, I'm fine. I need to talk to Liam. Or Jayden. I need to know what happened."

"Not now, you don't. Just get to class and try not to stress about it. It's not like he didn't deserve it!" She says, pulling me towards the left hall.

I feel restless in class. All I want to do is find Liam and check if he is okay. I know it is pathetic to care about him after what he has done to me, but I can't help it. I love him. I only have a few minutes to spare in between classes, so I am unable to look for him and by the time lunch rolls around, I am beyond agitated.

As I make my way to the cafeteria, I see him coming out. I freeze on the spot, and my heart drops to my stomach. The loud voices in the hall fade into the background as I stare at him in shock. His beautiful face is all bruised, and there is a gaping cut at the corner of his mouth. The sight makes my stomach churn.

"Liam." I walk towards him.

When he sees me, he stops dead in his tracks.

"What happened? Are you okay?" I ask, almost choking on the words. "Of course, you're not okay. Sorry, stupid question."

He blinks at me like he has no idea why I'm talking to him. I reach for his face, but he cautiously steps away. I drop my hands and my lips start to quiver, so I bite down on them. I don't want to cry in front of him, but it hurts that he is being so indifferent towards me.

"I heard that you didn't fight back. Why didn't you fight back?" I ask.

His eyes give nothing away as he looks at me with disinterest.

"It doesn't matter. You should stay away from me for your own good, Jessica." His voice is flat.

Jessica?

Tears ooze down my face as if I didn't cry a river all night. The human eye is truly amazing. I wipe my tears roughly with the back of my hand, the ache in my chest now replaced by a wave of raging anger. I can't believe he is treating me so horribly when I have done nothing but care about him. I would do anything for him to feel the same way about me as I do about him, but that's not how it works. It's not as simple as I love you and I want you to love me. This feeling can't be forced. I took a huge blow to my nonexistent self-confidence yesterday when he showed me and everyone else exactly what I mean to him. Which is absolutely nothing. If you think being rejected is the worst feeling on earth, you clearly haven't been rejected in public.

"For my own good?" I repeat with a sarcastic snort of laughter. "How dare you pretend to care about what is good for me? You kissing a girl right in front of me is what is good for me? You avoiding me and acting like I don't exist is what is good for me?" I yell at him. "You are the worst person I have ever met, Liam Disick! I thought Elliot was cruel, but he's got nothing on you. This is not for my own good. You did it because you are a coward, and you didn't have the guts to admit upfront that you didn't want me anymore. You have finally succeeded in pushing away someone who truly cared about you. Congratulations! I'm done." I spit, and he blanches at my words.

His eyes fall from my face to the floor, and he nods.

"I guess I'll see you around." He says and walks past me without another glance.

As soon as he is out of sight, tears fill my eyes again. I have no idea how things got so out of hand. There's no doubt in my mind that I love Liam and that it's nearly impossible to stop. But there is only so much my ego can take. He made it pretty clear when he kissed Red right under my eyes that he didn't care about me the way that I cared about him. Even if it hurts, the best thing I can do for myself right now is to move on. Or at least try to.

At our lunch table, I find Jeremy and Steff. I've lost my appetite ever since I saw Liam and Red kiss yesterday, but for the sake of survival, I try to force myself to eat.

"It's for the best, Jess. The guy is an ass." Jeremy looks at me sympathetically as I dig my fork in my salad.

"Yeah," I mutter darkly.

Steff opens her mouth and closes it again, sighing instead. Ryan is not at our table today. Probably for the best.

"Jayden is here!" Steff suddenly exclaims, and we both look up.

We watch Jayden as he makes his way towards us looking somber.

"Jade, where were you?" Steff asks him when he takes a seat.

"At the damn school counselor's office. I apparently have anger management issues!" He scoffs.

"Clearly." I look up at him.

"Jess, don't! You have no idea who he is. I am not sorry that I beat the shit out of him. I'm only sorry that I couldn't hurt him as much as he hurt you." He says, his jaw clenching with anger.

I want to be angry with him for hurting Liam on my behalf, and I am, but I know that his heart was in the right place. Even though his methods were a bit unorthodox.

"Jayden, you shouldn't have beaten him up like that. Especially if he wasn't defending himself." Steff chastises.

"I think he got what was coming." Jeremy nods approvingly at Jayden.

I don't want to see Liam, at least for the day. But of course, we have English for the last period. I get to class early and take my seat before anyone else. Mrs. Ronin is surprised by my early presence, but she doesn't say anything.

Once the bell rings and the class starts to fill up, Liam comes and takes his seat beside me. When the lecture begins, I focus on not glancing his way as I keep my eyes focused on Mrs. Ronin, who is saying something about letters.

"...so when men left their wives and loved ones to go to war or distant lands, they would write them letters. They communicated not by face timing and texting like this rotten generation, but by taking the time to put words of love and affection, worry and burden, happiness, and joy onto a piece of paper. Those letters would then travel long miles on horses of heralds before they got to their destinations. This would take days, weeks, months, or even years in some cases." She says, getting engrossed in her own lecture.

"What's so great about that?" Sanchez scoffs, and Mrs. Ronin turns towards him sharply.

"Mr. Delacruz, is there something you'd like to say?" She stares at him with her cold blue eyes.

"No...Sir. I..I mean Mrs. Ronin, ma'am." He stutters.

"I thought so." She says, walking back to the whiteboard and writing down a name.

"Last class we talked about Pablo Neruda, a famous Chilean poet." She picks out a book from her purse, holding it out for the class to see. "Here I have a book called 100 love sonnets, which is the translation of Pablo's original work Cien sonetos de amor. There is a piece of poetry that I want one of you to read out loud to the class. Any volunteers?" Mrs. Ronin inquires, and my conversation with Red pops into my head. She once told me that Liam used to read her the love letters of great men.

"Liam can do it. He is amazing with these things." Red chirps as if she read my mind, and I whip my head to Mrs. Ronnin, hoping and praying she'll refuse and pick someone else.

Anyone else.

Even me.

"Sure. Mr. Disick, do the honors. I want you to read Sonnet XVII." She walks up to him to hand him the book.

Liam doesn't look too pleased with the idea, but he takes the book out of Mrs. Ronin's hands anyway. All eyes are on him as he starts reading.

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

When he finishes, the room is so quiet, I wonder if everyone is holding their breaths like I am. The moment he is finished, his eyes flicker to me, and I can almost swear that I see the longing. He looks wounded as he holds my gaze.

I dart my eyes away before I burst into tears in the middle of this hellish class.

"Excellent! That was quite beautiful, Liam." Mrs. Ronin smiles at him fondly.

I don't think I have ever seen the woman smile before. And are my ears tricking me, or did she just call him by his first name?

"Would anyone like to tell us when the original and translated work was published?" She asks, but no one raises their hand. "Anyone? We talked about this in the last class, for God's sake. Use your brains!" She snarls.

I'm kinda missing Mr. Miller, the creepy pedophile, right now. She looks absolutely vicious as she turns around and fixes her icy eyes on me.

"Miss Grayson, how about you answer for a change." She gazes at me.

Of course, she would pick me when everyone else stays silent. The joys of being Jessica Grayson!

I clear my throat. "Erm, I- don't know." I look down.

"Is that right?" She says with slight triumph.

Yes, it is. You old spawn of Satan!

"Maybe I should give you detention for a day or two, so you can take the time to really think about what it would mean to fail this class? I believe..."

"The original work was published in 1959, and the translation, 100 Love Sonnets by Stephen Tapscott, was published in 1986," Liam answers, interrupting her.

Mrs. Ronin shifts her gaze to him and nods in apprehension.

She seems pleased that he answered, but she is annoyed because he just saved me.

"That's correct. Thank goodness someone came to class today. Mrs. Grayson, try to keep up!" She scowls at me.

Liam is not the kind of person that answers questions in class simply because he knows the answer. He never speaks unless he is called to do so. I know he only did this to get her off my back, but I don't glance his way to thank him. Melaine Hart and Paige Logan giggle and turn around to gawk at him as Mrs. Ronin gets back to her ranting.

When class is finally over, I sprint out before everyone. I need to get home to go pick out a dress for daddy dearest's engagement party, which is happening tomorrow night. I got tired of arguing and trying to negotiate with my mom and just decided to go. It's only one night, and I know I'm going to be drunk for most of it. My dad insisted that I bring a date, and I was originally planning to ask Liam, but now that that's over and done with, I guess I will just ask Jayden. My father probably has no idea that Elliot and I even broke up. I would go alone, but Elliot's mother is his colleague, so I'm pretty sure that Elliot is invited to be there. I know he will most likely show up with Brittany. And there is no way in hell I'm facing them there alone. 

Hey lovelies, how is everyone's day/night going? Can we talk about the Australian fire for a second? I heard that 1 million acres burned, 25 people and so many animals died! Oh my goodness! This seriously breaks my heart. I can't imagine how terrible it must be for the families that have been and continue to be affected by this tragedy. And the poor, innocent animals! :( :( :( :( My heart goes out to all my Australian readers. I really hope that you guys are safe.

With that being said, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter will probably alternate between their POV's. Who is excited for the engagement party and all the chaos that'll come with it? I know I am. ;)

Don't forget to comment and vote. Please, support ya gurl! :) Hugs and smooches for all my babies.

Much Love,
Becca.

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