Jessica

This past week has been hectic. Between reading for quizzes, rehearsals for the play, and a bunch of assignments, I barely had time for anything other than all things school-related. But I have somehow been finding ways to make time to go over to stay at Liam's. My mom has given up on me at this point. I only sleep at home when she has the night shift, and I have to babysit the twins.

Last night I decided to stay home to get some homework done, and mom said, So glad you moved back! I honestly thought she'd be upset over this whole thing, but she's been cool. I feel like it comes at a price, but I don't know what that price is yet. Red has been tolerable too. We mostly do our parts and try not to step on each other's toes. The best thing I ever did was convincing my friends to do the play. Afterschool hours are dedicated to rehearsals, and it's a lot more bearable with them there.

But the nights are my favourites. I love every second I get to spend with Liam. For those few hours, it feels like we are living in our own little world. A world where nothing on the outside can get in and hurt us. I like who I am when I'm with him. He makes me feel strong and confident and— sexy. But most of all, he makes me feel at home.

Sometimes I like to pretend that we are much older and living together. I do this as I watch him cook, or when he absentmindedly traces my palms as he is telling me a story, or when he attempts to braid my hair failing miserably, or when he laughs at something, and it is so uninhibited it almost brings tears to my eyes. I love that he is not brooding or distant in those few hours. He is caring and warm and playful, and mine.

"Ginger ale is the bomb dot com!" Madison Green announces with delight as she walks past us with Chloe Morales.

"OMG! Ginger ale! How so very exciting!" Steff chirps in with exaggerated excitement, the sarcasm dripping off her.

Madison turns around.

"What is your problem?" She arches her brow at Steff.

Madison dated Jeremy like an eternity ago, and she ended up cheating on him with Sanchez Delacruz. Steff still hasn't forgiven her for it. And I have no idea why she won't let it go, even Jeremy has moved on. Now all four of them are in the play, and it doesn't help that Brittany and Elliot also joined at the last minute. The after school drama has been so real.

"You. You're my problem." Steff has her claws out as she takes a step towards Madison.

I grab her arm.

"Auu, catfight!" Sanchez comes down the stage with a mischievous grin. Unfortunately, he is the stereotypical varsity jock douchebag. Coach only allowed him to do the play because he is failing English and needs this to earn some extra credit. But he has done nothing but goof around and get on everyone's nerves so far.

Madison glares at him and grabs Chloe's hand, dragging her out.

"Can you take this seriously and memorize your lines?" I ask with clear irritation.

"Can you wear tube tops and booty shorts?"

My eyes narrow. I can't deal with him when he is being a moron, which is almost always.

"Grow up!"

"I'll try, mom." He walks past me and turns around as if to check me out from behind.

"Don't be a perv," Steff says to him. But he only laughs, walking out.

"Can you believe Madison cheated on Jeremy with this dummy?"

Here we go again.

"That happened like a bazillion years ago, Steff." I roll my eyes picking up the water bottles everyone carelessly left behind.

Jayden and Jeremy left after rehearsal to go to a home game, and Steff stayed behind to help me tidy up.

"Ginger ale. Auu, look at me! I'm so loud and relevant." Steff rolls her eyes. "Who says bomb dot com? Seriously! She gets on my nerves."

I almost want to laugh at her but I resist the urge.

"We have a problem!" Red says, coming down the stairs.

She is in one of her high heels, and it is loud as hell as she makes her way towards me. And it looks so uncomfortable. I don't know how she does it.

"What happened?" I shove the water bottles in a garbage bag and walk up to her.

"Freaking Mason Walker just quit. He isn't doing the play." She is in distress, and I don't blame her. We're supposed to show in a week.

"Why?" I ask.

"He said he fought with Sanchez backstage and can't work with him anymore. What are we going to do?"

This is a problem. Mrs Ronin will lose her shit if we ask her to postpone it.

"Can we hold another audition?" I suggest even though I know it's going to be nearly impossible. No one wants to face Mrs Ronin's scrutiny. Even the drama club is staying out of this one.

"No one will show up. Can you think of anyone who might want to help? We need a serious backup plan!"

Red is definitely a bossy one. She's a bit much at times, but she gets the job done. All my friends are already doing the play, so the only person left that I can think of is Liam, and he has made it clear that he doesn't want to do it.

"Not really," I tell her, and she sighs.

"I'll figure something out. Do you need help with that?" She points to the garbage bag.

"No, Steff and I got it. Thanks."

She nods, grabbing her bag.

Steff and I finish up, and I am excited to go home and grab my things so I can go over to Liam's.

"So you guys didn't? Still?" Steff asks, looking at me sideways with skepticism.

"I already told you. No. I would tell you if we did." I say as we walk out the exit.

I may be experimenting, but I am not ready to go all the way yet. Thankfully, Liam is absolutely respectful. He doesn't make me feel like I have to do anything I don't want to do, which is why I enjoy every moment we share.

"I still don't get how you sleep in his bed, and you are not tempted to jump his bones. That boy is sinfully gorgeous."

Steff says this every time Liam is mentioned. And I can't say that she is wrong.

"Maybe because I'm not as horny as you and Mr. Samuels," I say, and she contorts her face.

"Don't call him that. It sounds like you're referring to his father." She shudders, and I laugh. "I guarantee Liam is probably walking around with perpetual blue balls. The poor guy." She says, and I cringe.

Steff is open about this sort of thing, but I am the complete opposite. I have never had anything interesting to talk about regarding boys. And now that I do, I feel so awkward. Liam is actually not walking around with blue balls. I know that for a fact.

Memories of the previous night come flooding into my mind. Liam's lips, his fingers in my panties, his raspy voice, his smell, the dirty things he said, my hands on him, his groans, the way he called my name, his wet boxers. The memory plays out in my mind, making me blush like a ripe tomato. And I feel my cheeks burn despite the crisp wind.

"Gosh! Look at that blush. You're so coy. It's the most adorable thing on earth." Steff laughs, oblivious to the scenes that are playing in my mind.

We reach the parking lot and find the boys waiting for us.

"Thought you guys were at the game," Steff says as we reach them.

"Left at half time. It was kinda dead." Jeremy sighs.

"You guys want to grab something to eat?" She offers.

"Sure." Jayden nods. "You can come over after for that movie you keep promising we'll watch." He turns to me, and I feel a pang of guilt. But I already told Liam I'd be there tonight.

"I already have plans tonight. I'm sorry."

"Figures." He shrugs.

I have been totally flaky, but he is too nice to call me out on it, and I feel so bad. I make a mental note to remedy that.

We end up at Taco Bell because Steff is craving Nacho Fries. Cooking with Liam has become some sort of an addiction for me, and everything he makes is incredibly delicious. So, I decide to skip the food and just get a Pina Colada.

We sit in a corner booth laughing about the disaster that is senior year, and my phone rings.

When I see that it's Red, I sigh picking it up.

"Hey, what's up?" I say into the phone.

"Hey, I didn't call at a bad time, did I? I have good news."

"No, no. What's the good news?"

"I talked to Liam, and he agreed to do the play."

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach. I don't know why, but I stand up. This is news to me. My friends are looking at me with worry. I give them a small smile to assure them everything is okay, and I walk away.

"You there?" Red says.

"Yeah. He said he would do the play?"

Just this morning, he was laughing at me for saying I wished he would at least come backstage to chill.

"Yeah, he said that just now. Well, not just now. Now he is in the shower, but a few minutes ago."

I instantly feel nauseous, and the bits of fries I had, make their way up.

"You are at his house?"

He agreed to do the play just a few minutes ago. And now he is in the shower. Red sure knows her game. How good did she have to be to get him to agree?

"Yeah, he..."

I hear shuffling, and the line is suddenly silent.

"Hello?" I call.

Then I hear him. His voice is distant but unmistakable. I can't make out what he is saying, but he is talking to her.

"Sorry, we'll talk tomorrow. I gotta go." She says, and the line goes dead.

I feel sick. Literally sick. My stomach, my head, my heart, everything hurts. The worst part is I don't even know if I have the right to be upset. He is not exactly mine. We never defined our... whatever it is that we have going on. No one even knows that we have something going on, to begin with, for God's sake! Not even my own best friend. Not really.

Everyone at school assumes we are broken up and that the kiss at my locker was a lapse of judgment on Liam's part. Jessica Grayson not being able to keep a guy isn't exactly news.

I wanted so many times to ask him if he felt the same way that I did. But I was too scared that I would not like the answer. So I chose to be blissfully ignorant and deluded myself into believing that he felt something for me. But still, there was a part of me that always wondered what the hell he was doing with me when he had the Ellyn Donovan's of the world. And now, I know that he only wanted me around because he was bored and wanted an insecure, inexperienced girl to play around with. No wonder he kept me a secret.

"Everything okay?" Jayden asks when I sit back down.

"Yeah. My plans just got cancelled. I guess movie night is happening after all."

"Thank you! You just saved me from a dreadful night."

"Oh, come on!" Jeremy whines, and I raise a brow in question.

"He just agreed to help me with a paper I'm working on." He says with a long sigh.

Jayden grins.

"Maybe some other time, bud." He says to Jermey and turns to me. "Maybe never." He mouths, and I smile.

Jeremy's eyes narrow at me, so I wipe the smile off my face.

I end up ordering a burrito because why not? Clearly, I'm never setting foot in that kitchen ever again.

"You're pale as a ghost. You sure you're okay?" Steff asks.

"Well, it is fall. And not all of us self tan." I say, and she laughs.

"Touché. But I suggest you start."

I chuckle despite myself.

"I would if I didn't end up looking like an orange."

My phone vibrates, and I see a text from Liam.

What time are you coming over?

Is he for real? He wants me in his bed right after he's had Red in it. Just how little does he think of me?

My hand starts shaking because I'm so furious.

Actually, I don't think I can make it tonight. Jayden invited me over to his house, and I think I'm staying the night there.

He has told me several times that my friendship with Jayden really bothers him. And I don't care if I am being petty right now. I am infuriated and hurt, and I do not care how this makes him feel.

***
Yikes! Mondays suck. Oh, BTW, I also updated a new chapter on my other story "Not Mine" you guys should go check it out. Don't forget to Vote and Comment loves.

Much love,
Becca :)