I didn't expect him to call me anymore, let alone invite me to come talk to him at our spot. It was unsettling coming back to a place that held so many memories made in so little time. I expected to see Adam crouched down on the floor, blasting something by The Beatles or Troye Sivan and singing along, messing up the lyrics more than he should.

Instead, I saw Adam in nothing but a t-shirt and basketball shorts, clutching onto a big ball of fabric like his life depended on it. When I jumped down into the pool, I noticed that the big ball of fabric was none other than a sleeping boy, wrapped up in Adam's long coat and mittens covering his pudgy fingers.

"James?" I whispered.

The little boys head popped up, an adorable smile making its way onto his face, which was red with cold. With a shaking hand, Adam pulled his brother's wool hat down to cover more of his face. "Hello! What's your name again?"

I glanced to Adam, who's eyes were puffy and full of panic. I put my best smile on my face and turned back to James, crouching down to him. "I'm Eli. We met at the swings one time, remember?"

"I remember. And then I went on the slide!"

"You sure did! James, do you mind going back to sleep for a little while?" I asked, trying to be as upbeat as I could while questions ran through my mind faster than I could comprehend.

"It's past your bed time, Jay. I just wanted to take you on a walk before all the snow melts, but I think it's time to sleep again. Don't you think?" Adam said, his voice quivering ever so slightly in a way only I could recognise. James nodded and buried his head into his brothers chest. A minute later, soft snores were coming from the boy and his breathes became long and laboured.

I glanced up at Adam, who looked like he should have tears spilling down his cherry red cheeks. Instead, he was breathing quickly as his face got redder by the minute. "Bloody hell," he mumbled.

"Mate, why is James here?" I asked carefully.

"My mum— she told me she made up her mind." I went to ask what he meant, then it dawned on me. I had been so caught up in my own life, I nearly forgot that Adam was so close to losing his little brother. And judging by the rapid rise and fall of his chest and the way his face was scrunched up like he was forcing tears to stay in his eyes, he was even closer than before.

"Are you sure? Is she sure?" I questioned, trying to keep my whispers light and calm for James's sake.

He nodded and let out a shaky breath. I let my eyes linger on his face, which used to hold such a convincing grin. I would do anything to see the corners of his lips quirk up again in a way that made his dark brown eyes brighter.

"I broke my door," he admitted "and I made another hole."

I bit my lip and watched as his eyes stayed on the ground, barely open. "That's alright."

"I'm sorry," he said, so quietly I nearly missed it.

"Hey," I turned his head gently so his eyes met mine. "Don't be sorry, Adam. You didn't hurt anyone."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

We stayed like that for a moment, letting the quiet take over as we looked back at each other. I wanted to kiss him. More than anything, I wanted to close the small amount of space between our us and feel the exact same excitement and happiness as I did last time. Adam glanced down at my lips, then back up at my eyes, but I convinced myself quickly it was just my imagination.

he doesn't need that right now

So I turned away, and a few seconds later, so did he. "Aren't you freezing?" I asked. He shrugged, but I could tell by the goosebumps lining his paling arms and his chattering teeth that he was a lot more uncomfortable than he let on. I pulled my jumper off and held it out to him, which he took gratefully. He pulled it over his head, mussing up his hair. It didn't really fit him, which was to be expected considering how much taller he was than me. It was sort of adorable to see the sleeves land at his thin wrists, when on me they would cover my hands. I didn't crack a smile, though, as much as I wanted to, because that's when I noticed he didn't have earbuds feeding him music. I quickly took out my mobile and quietly played the playlist marked "For Adam," a little secret he didn't really need to know.

"You don't have to-"

"It's Cage the Elephant."

He got quiet after that, still holding his now sleeping brother in his arms. I sat next to him, watching him pat James softly on the back to the rhythm. His brows were furrowed and he was grinding his teeth together, but he kept his hand movements delicate on his brother's back, no matter how many layers of winter gear he was wrapped in. That's when I finally understood what he meant when he said he'd never hurt me: he knew what he was doing. He knew that even when he got so angry he wanted to punch a brick wall, he wouldn't let himself hurt someone. If he could sit there and gently care for his brother while he was fuming about the changes that were pushing their way into his life, I could trust him. The guilt that had made a home in my stomach for months crawled up my throat like vomit, but I swallowed it and stayed silent. Adam didn't need any more problems right now. He needed his brother.

"Did I just kidnap James?" He whispered, a tiny laugh making its way past his lips. I couldn't help but smile. Even if it was just a little laugh, it made me grin from ear to ear.

Out of nowhere, his airy chuckles turned into sniffles and I watched a tear roll down his pink cheeks. I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers in with his, not even realising what I was doing. But he did the same and bowed his head, finally breaking the dam and letting a stream of tears flow down his face. "What am I meant to do now? He's leaving me, Lij," he choked out, his voice barely above a whisper.

"But he's living with your dad. Isn't that better than having to spend all your time worrying about him and taking care of him?"

"My dad's a prick," he told me. "He's nice and all... just childish. He left me and my mum when I was like, ten. She was pregnant with James and he told us he was going to China for a bit to visit family, but two weeks later, he bought a house somewhere in Scotland and told us we could come over for holidays. James met him a few times, but living with him full time? That's just unfair." I took note of the way his nose scrunched up when he mentioned his father. It was like even the thought of him made him want to throw up.

"I just can't believe my mum would do that to her own kids," he whispered, failing to hold back a few tears that sprung loose. I used my free hand to wipe it off his cheek before it could make a streak down the rest of his face.

"It'll be alright," I assured him, "from what you've told me, James is a smart kid. He'll figure it out somehow. Plus, you can always visit, and I'm sure James will want to call you and tell you about all the adventures he's had."

He nodded. "I guess, yeah."

"Thank you for being here, Lij," he said after a minute of comfortable silence except for the soft snores coming from the kid on Adam's lap. I missed the way he said my name.

"You can leave if you'd like," he spoke up.

I shook my head and tilted my vision up towards the sky which was lit up with stars. Without a big city nearby, space looked so close. I wanted to reach my hand up and touch the little balls of light that spread out across the sky like glitter. My hand gravitated toward the night sky as I reached up and pretended to cup a bunch of them in my hand. "I can't," I told him, "I'm counting the stars."

He snorted and buried his face into the crook of my neck. I could feel my sleeve becoming wet with tears, but I pretended like I didn't notice. Instead, I brought our hands into my lap and gently glided my thumb back and forth across his bright red knuckles.

<><><>

I PROMISE THE SAD CHAPTERS ARE ALMOST OVER!!! DONT HATE ME!!

Anyway James is my #1 favourite character I've ever written and he's been in like 2 bits. Little guy awwwwww. Do you guys like James? (Warning: if you say no I'll fight you sorry I don't make the rules)

Thanks so much for reading! There's only a few chapters left and I really appreciate you guys sticking with it. It means a lot to see all these readers and read all the comments. So thank you!

~Teddy