T W E N T Y S E V E N ~ "Basically."

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This chapter is dedicated to @xevera_ for voting!! Thank you so much :)

••••

We're back to Skylar's POV!

••••

Willing my eyes to open, I feel as though glue has been plastered onto them.

Day light streams through the curtains, which sends shock and relief through me.

I didn't manage to sleep until about four am, Axel and my fight with him replaying over and over again. My tears didn't stop until two and once they did, I dropped into a pit of self pity.

I sit up in my bed and run a hand through my hair, I realise it's Thursday, panic goes through me.

I have a lecture, in thirty minutes.

Which would seem like loads of time, but judging by the fact that it usually takes me twenty minutes to walk to campus, it doesn't actually leave me with that long.

Hurrying out of bed, I brush my teeth and then throw on a pair of jeans and a big hoodie.

Throwing on a jacket, I grab my books and then head out of the door.

Wondering if Axel feels the same way as I do at that moment.

••••

"Now, please take out your workbooks. I posted a notice about it last night, so I should hope everyone has one." Miss Poppy instructs as she closes down the PowerPoint we had just been taking noted from.

My lack of sleep seems to be catching up on me, my eyes heavy. But as soon as she mentions the workbook, I realise I forgot it.

Exactly what I need today.

Dean leans over and whispers. "You forgot?"

I send him a tired smile. "Yeah, can we share?"

"Of course. Sure you don't want to tell me what bothering you?" He asks for the third time in an hour, a frown etched upon his face.

"Thanks," I say in regards to the workbook. "I'll tell you after."

Keeping up with tradition, Dean and I agreed to go for coffee after the lecture.

Quite possibly, the only thing that's keeping me going right now.

And I know I shouldn't feel like this. I was the one who suggested a break, I was the one who went mental. But in all honestly, it still hurts. Knowing he allowed himself to get into that situation with that girl and then be angry at me. Plus, his lack of commitment which he's only admitted now.

It all hurts I guess, which explains why I want to cry at every given moment.

Including right now when Miss Poppy walks up to my desk, hatred painted across her face.

"Where's your booklet?" She asks, her hand on her hip.

"Sorry, I left it at my place." I mumble, avoiding eye contact.

Dean, being polite as ever, steps in. "It's alright Miss, she can share mine."

"It's not good enough. This amount of effort isn't good enough. You're in your senior year now, act like it." She snaps at me, before storming off. The whole class watches in shock silence as she walks away.

"Well, somebody pissed in her cereal this morning." Dean jokes.

However the joke doesn't do it's desired effect of making me laugh, instead it just makes me give him a sad smile.

I know that I'm doing good enough. I know that I'm trying hard enough.

But today is really not the day to point out my flaws. Even if they are just made-up ones from a professor who thinks she's got me all figured out.

She doesn't. They never do.

Tears sting the back of my eyes as I slump in my chair with defeat. I'm tired from not sleeping well, I'm cranky because I'm not eating and I'm annoyed at myself for feeling like this.

All of these problems originate from the person I've decided to take a break from.

God, I miss him.

Biting my lip and keeping my eyes on the desk, I fear that if I make eye contact with someone I might break down.

Oh, the joys of wanting someone who doesn't want you.

••••

The rest of the lecture drags on, so to say I'm in need of coffee would be an understatement. Walking along the street towards my favourite coffee shop, I'm grateful that Dean is making small talk with me. He's obviously sensed my foul mood, but carries on as though nothing is happening. 

Pushing open the door, the bell above it rings, alerting people that we've arrived.

In our usual tradition Dean heads to the counter (He already knows my order) and I scan for tables.

What hits me next is like a bullet to my chest.

There, in the whole of California, sits the man I don't want to see.

Axel.

His broad shoulders, that I love to rest my head against, are hunched, looking smaller than usual. His brown hair is disheveled and my hands twitch in the urge to run them through it. He runs a hand down his face, a sign that makes my heart drop in agony for him. His left hand clutches his phone and I can only wonder who he's talking to that is causing him such distress.

My heart pounds loudly, my hands sweat and my eyes prick with tears. The sounds of the cafe seem to dim as I stand and stare at him. Clenching a hand into a fist, I bit against my knuckle to stop a whimper from escaping me.

Turning on my heel, I open the door to the cafe and sprint out onto the street.

I run to a nearby park, collapsing onto a bench. My breathing, already irregular, is now bordering hyperventilating. Putting my one good hand onto my knee, I take some deep breaths. My vision swims, from both my injuries and my tears.  

As my visions begins to clear, I hear footstep thundering down the path towards me.

Dean turns he corner and lets out a sigh of relief when he sees me, crouching in front of me, he seems to be genuinely concerned. "What happened there?"

"Axel was there." I sniffle, wiping away a tear with my hand.

Dean furrows his eyebrows, confusion written across his face. "So?"

"We had a massive fight. Ended with us agreeing to take a break, it only happened last night."

"Aw, I'm so sorry." Dean says sympathetically.

He then stands up from his crouched position on the floor and comes to sit beside me on the bench. Wrapping an arm round round my shoulders, I lean my head against his shoulder. The action sends an ache into my heart, remembering the times I would do this would Axel.

"You're going to be okay."

Am I?

Because right now the only light in this whole situation seems to be Axel. The one person I need to make some distance from, for both of our sake's.

Exhaustion seems to seep into my bones as I my thoughts go round in this loop for a millionth time. I let out a yawn, which Dean immediately picks up on.

"Think you need some sleep."  He murmurs as he retracts his arm and stands up.

"Yeah,"I sigh. "Sorry for ruining out coffee afternoon."

"Don't worry about it, there's many more to come." Dean grins.

And at that point, I thank my lucky stars that I met Dean.

••••

"That is disgusting." Rob shudders as he throws some popcorn into his mouth, watching the model strut down the catwalk.

After coming back to the apartment, I cried for the millionth time in the last two days. Upon finding me sniffling in my bed, Rob ordered me to sleep.

The exhaustion seemed to take hold as I then managed to sleep for the next two hours.

Whist I slept, Rob downloaded three seasons of project runway. When I asked him why, he claimed that it was the first promise he made to me and he was going to follow through on it. He covered our small floor space in blankets and pillows. With both of us laying down, I think it was the safest I've felt in the past thirty-six hours.

As the fifth episode comes to a close, Rob turns of his laptop.

"You know we need to talk about this." He sighs, he rolls over onto his side so that he's now facing me.

"What? Project Runway?"

Rob gives me an unimpressed glare. "No, you and Axel." 

"I know, it just hurts to talk about it." I grumble, looking like a five-year old who isn't getting their way.

"Why are you doing this, though? You're both wrecks." He asks.

I assume he got details from our fight from Axel. "He's a wreck?" I ask, concerned.

"Never seen him like it. So, why are you doing this?" He repeats.

I know that Rob is Axel's best friend, but Rob's one of mine. Second behind Emma, I feel as though I can tell him anything. I know he won't repeat it to Axel, I can only hope not anyway.

"I just don't want to start a serious relationship with both of us having doubts. I've always doubted Axel's commitment and I'm pretty sure he's always doubted my feeling for him. I don't want to go head first into something only for things to blow up in our faces. Plus, because he's so popular, it would only make the whole thing worse - if we were to break-up."

"So, you're pre-protecting yourself?" Rob asks skeptically. 

"Basically."

"But, isn't he worth the risk?"

••••

Author's Note:

Sorry for another sad chapter, I feel as though it's needed! Don't think it's as sad as Axel's one though!

What do we think about this chapter?

Have to say, made me love Rob even more :)

Hope you all have a wonderful week!

Much love,

Jade x

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