Chapter 20: Apples + Concupiscence

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"As the flower reaches anthesis, and ready for love

As the flames turns to cinder

The wolves howl at the moon above

The hardened heart gives itself to who's affection it rendered."-Mine

Sorry for the filler. But you'll love it. The pic is of other poems that reminded me of J+K.

Song is... well I'll let you figure it out ;) (Below are Apple tree flowers) PLEASE COMMENT! and vote.

Korali's Pov.(Not Edited)
Jordan unabashedly turned away from me and reached back into the shower to turn it off.

My modesty wanted me to turn away but my lusting had me boldly staring. Jordan didn't seem to mind as he bustled around the bathroom.

When I followed Jordan out of the bathroom, I just sat quietly on the bed. When I glanced up from my hands I saw Jordan looking down at me quizzically. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing. It's just, something seems different about you. That's all. Something I can't put my finger on."

"Don't worry, Korali. It's nothing bad." He quirked up a quick smile, which honestly scared me more.

"Are you sure? Because that smile—"

"That was meant to be reassuring. Which I realize a smile from me wouldn't be. But don't worry. I'm okay." He whispered the last few words while gazing into my eyes seriously. I nodded in affirmation.

"Come." Jordan spoke and I lifted from the bed, softly padding after him. He led me to his old bedroom, which I currently slept in. He reached up into the back of the closet, past my reach, and grabbed another box. He swiped at the box with one arm, clearing it of dust on the top and opened it up.

I peered over his arm to see dozens of pictures. He walked over to the bed, scooping me off the floor on his way. I squealed slightly as he sat us on the bed. I crossed my legs and waited for him to begin. He merely shoved the photos at me.

As I moved from photo to photo I noticed the significance of them. They were pictures of Jordan growing up, of Cailo and Max, of Mahalia and Arion. There were even pictures of Jordan's mom and dad. As Jordan aged you could see the fatigue, the depression, the resignation on his face. Even from the young pictures, Jordan was never the happy-go-lucky child, but there was a noticeable change in his disposition. Such a loss of innocence so young.

I didn't realize that I was crying until I felt tingling fingers rubbing away the liquid. "I'm okay." Jordan whispered again. And what hurt the most was that he wasn't. He wasn't okay. He was abused, neglected, and generally fucked up. It made me feel overwhelmingly privileged. But it also made me realize why we were mates. Why we belonged.

I laughed a little through the mist in my eyes that didn't seem to want to let up. "You will be."

The moment was tender and heart wrenching. I wanted to go back in time and fix what was wrong. To right him. To help him. But that wasn't possible.

In the end I thought that I could be the one to change him. But, he had to be willing to change for himself and my love wont just do it for him.

People don't just change over night.

But Jordan was finally ready to. He was a cocooned butterfly ready to finally be released from his metamorphic cage. He was ready to become who he was destined to be.

When Jordan and I finally made eye contact he only blinked at me, as if gauging my reaction. After a little bit, he suddenly grabbed my arms hauling me towards him and kissed up the side of neck.

I giggled at the sudden onslaught of affection. I gently wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing in his citrus-y smell. As his kisses got lower, my breathing sounded like a car that had trouble starting. He kissed down the center of chest. Then I realized why. He was kissing where my heart was. I pulled his head away slanting my lips over his for a brief second before I continued ushering out the same kissed he gave me. When I ended up at his heart, I listened for the steady strum of beats.

We relaxed like that in the bed for the entire day, until there was a steady amount of knocks at the door. With a sigh I got up, leaving Jordan to his sleep. When I finally pulled the door open, Cailo and Max fell in looking distraught and tired. Oh and very very dirty.

"What happened?" I asked my hands pulling Max back so I could look him over to see if he had any wounds, then I did the same to Cailo. They seemed fine.

"We just saw ghosts." Max replied, not quite believing his words.

"Max, this is no time to joke."

"He's serious. We just saw—saw Jordan's little sister." Cailo had slumped to the floor by now, so he was speaking through his hand that was thrown over his face.

"Oh," I wondered how to break it to them. "I saw her months ago. She's not dead."

"What?" Max's outburst probably woke up Jordan. "And you didn't say anything?"

"Well I told Jordan. But at the time he said I was being immature. Soo," I shrugged.

"Oh shit, oh shit. How's Jordan taking this?" Max's face was drawn into a concerned state, the mud streaks on his cheek causing him to look oddly young.

"He's doing—he's doing okay. He's finally ready."

Max and Cailo being lifetime friends of Jordan's, knew what that meant from the words alone. They didn't need further explanation. The smile that lit up Max's face was enough to almost cause tears.

"Come on, I'll go make us some food. You two go clean up. You smell like wet dog."

That earned me an eye roll from Max and a growl from Cailo.

As I pranced into the kitchen, I was shocked to see Jordan there already starting on food. I knocked at the entryway to alert him I was coming.

"I could hear your feet." He murmured. I smiled sitting on the counter and humming as he maneuvered around me. As he was taking some vegetables from the cutting board he pecked me on the lips before dropping them inside the pot.

"What are you making?"

"Stew."

I nodded and watched him until he finished. Cailo and Max finally came in and sat at the table silently.

"Jordan, we saw—"

"Mahalia, I know." His response was low and weary.

"No," Cailo frowned rubbing a hand down his face. "We saw Arion's mom in the city today. She said she'd like to see you."

"No."

"But Jordan," I started.

"Drop it." I bit my lip and huffed a breath. Well at least this was closer to normal Jordan. I didn't like him quiet. It was odd, uncomfortable, and a little restless.

"Lighten up Alpha, its not like you did anything to make Arion disappear. It couldn't be helped." Cailo's concerned tone didn't go unnoticed.

"She was our friend, but that was my mother who most likely did something to her."

"It couldn't be helped. It's not like you had any say so."

"I still feel the guilt."

"You can't hold the guilt of your parents Jordan, you'll only become a martyr for things you had no control over." Max added, not understanding why he was so bent on feeling remorse for actions he didn't do.

On that ending note we ate lunch. The mood shifted after the food had been served, Max always knowing how to lighten a mood.

***
"Korali," Jordan's voice tickled my ear, causing a smile, but I still turned over and kept my eye closed drowsing back to my slumber. "Come on, you've napped enough."

"Leave me alone" I mumbled throwing my arm lazily across my face. He gently hoisted me up, not allowing me back to sleep-land. I squinted at the clock on the DVR box and saw that it was 10 at night.

"Jor—" I yawned. "Jordan, it's 10 what's going on?"

"I got the idea from Amiella. But you don't have to go if you don't want to."

That perked me up. I hopped from his arms and towards the door. "Let's go!" I grabbed his hand practically running nowhere because for one I didn't know where we were going, also because he was heavy and unmoving.

Jordan pulled on his arm that I was gripped onto and pulled me to his chest. "Oh, Jordan, aren't you hands now?"

"Is it too much?" He murmured letting go quickly, which made me roll my eyes.

"No" I huffed.

He took the time to drag me out of the room, and out into the front of the yard, demanding me to close my eyes. I allowed him these commands because whatever he was showing me would definitely be worth it. This was just so different. Jordan was I mean. He was trying. Words couldn't even begin to explain how happy that made me.

He placed me right in front of my tree. I could tell because behind my close eyelids I could detect lights. I smiled and his hand brushed my hand. I gripped his tightly as reassurance. "Open your eyes."

When I did the lights from my tree nearly blinded me, but the picnic on the ground almost threw me off my feet.

"Well this is sweet." I pursed my lips, "You're getting romance advice from a 14-year-old girl? Aww" I cooed and he blushed a bit. Then I looked at all the flowers scattered about. "Jordan, are these apple tree flowers?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, "I looked the meaning up?"

I jutted my bottom lip out, I could not be any more in love then I was in that moment. "In greek Mythology Melanion (Hippomenes) wanted to marry a huntress named Atalanta, but she didn't like marriage so she said if he could beat her in a footrace she would. Melanion knowing he couldn't win prayed to the goddess Aphrodite and she gifted him with three gold apples. He placed them on the raceway beforehand and when they raced she slowed down trying to pick up the apples--causing him to win."

"Of course you'd know something so weird about it."

"You love me for it."

"Of course I do."

We sat down on the blanket and he told me about some of the things he did as a child that he actually had fond memories of and about his Dad. It was different to hear things about Jordan, things that weren't just the top of the surface. Things that didn't sound so melancholic.

"My Dad would have loved you." He muttered after we had been silently gazing up at the stars. We were done eating and now we were side by side under my tree.

That caused me to beam and I knew he could probably feel it.

"Although he loved my mom to the point of letting her get away with anything, he always assured me that I'd never get a mate like her." That was sad, because if his dad was the way he was, then why did he deserve her.

Jordan suddenly turned onto me. I could feel his breath on my lips and he was staring at me intently. "I hope you're bloodthirsty."

Amused, I chuckled, "What?" Then he pressed his lips to mine.

Jordan's weight on top of me, didn't suffocate me. It was a comforting pressure, while his lips took my breath away. His kisses weren't gentle, but they weren't rough, they were just enough of passion and hurry mixed.

Jordan took his mouth away from mine slightly to try to take off my shirt, my arm getting caught in the process. I laughed trying to wiggle free, accidentally bumping his erection. He groaned and I laughed, "Sorry!" If anything it seemed to make him want to get me out of the shirt quicker rather than cause him pain. When the shirt got caught over my head I laughed so hard that it started to suffocate me and Jordan struggled getting it over my hair. I dropped to the ground once the shirt was off, smiling at him while he hovered me, just looking.

"You know the first couple of months here, I was so self-conscious about how I looked?" I ran my finger down he cottons clad arm, wanting to feel skin instead.

"Why?"

"I thought maybe the reason you treated me with disdain was because of the way I looked or because I wasn't what you imagined." It sounded kind of stupid saying it out loud, because now looking back, he never once insulted me on how I looked. Not once.

Jordan's eyebrows furrowed and he made serious eye contact with me. "I never imagined what my mate would look like when I thought of her. Because people are so different. I was so different. If I were to even get a mate, I would—should have been grateful for whoever was gifted to me." His voice, although hushed, was perfectly clear to me and I could see the sincerity in his eyes and made me want to cry. I wasn't feeling particularly lustful anymore, but that could always change with a touch.

"I didn't appreciate you. I realize that, and I'm just—I'm thankful that you didn't give up on me, when anyone would have, should have. You're the best thing to happen to me. Such a bleak existence to live before you, and it'd be a somber and cumbersome existence to live without you. I know that now." He swallowed before continuing, but I was so pent up with emotion that I didn't care that he started to babble. "If that makes any sense—I'm trying to make sense, to tell you what I'm thinking, but it's just coming out exactly how I think it, and that's not necessarily decipherable. I've been alone a lot, a lot and I—"

I cut him off with my lips and my hands burrowing in his hair. This kiss was in no hurry, it was passionate and on fire. Our heartbeats were synchronized, our skin erupting with tingles that felt like the soft hum of bumblebees trapped in a jar. He tasted of peanut-butter and jelly from our sandwiches from our late dinner, and he smelled of oranges and a bit of perspiration.

"Room," I mumbled beneath his lips.

"Huh?"

"Room."

He picked me up, keeping our lips locked, as he walked his way to the house. He felt for the cool knob to the front door and even ran me into it. "Ow!" I laughed and Jordan apologized profusely.

When he realized that we weren't going to get up those stairs without serious hurting ourselves Jordan sighed and switched me to his back so he was giving me a piggyback. I held on tight kissing the back of his neck. He faltered on the steps a couple time almost causing us to lose balance.

"Stop or we'll break our necks" He growled amorously.

When we finally made it to his room he threw me on the bed and crawled up the length of me.

"The possibility," he kissed, "Of you," another kiss, "pregnant."

"Jordan," I moaned.

"I know, I know, I just."

I grabbed his face in my hands "It won't happen. We'll be safe. It's going to be okay." He nodded slowly reaching over into the bedside table and pulling out a couple of condoms. "A little sure about yourself Jordan?" I laughed nervously.

"Only if you want," Consent was definitely sexy.

I turned Jordan around sitting on his chest rubbing my hands forward. I peeled off his shirt, his smooth skin like an oven under my finger tips. He looked up at me with adoration and lust and I knew he was ready for this too.

I pulled off his jeans and he helped me take mine off, and we did the same for both of our underwear. His hands fumbled with my bra and I had to help him, but for the most part everything was going smoothly.

Jordan flipped us so I was under him again kissing a trail of stars down my neck to my mark. When he slightly sucked on my mark I practically screamed in ecstasy, my fingernails digging into our bed. "Hold me," he muttered and I obeyed wrapping my arms around his long back.

When it felt like I couldn't take anymore Jordan slipped the condom on—with a little inaccuracy seeing as he's never done this before. It was ungraceful and flawed and it was so odd to see Jordan so off balanced, but it was understandable given the situation. It made me love him more.

First he tested if I was ready by his hand feeling its way to the center of me. After looking at me and making sure he was doing what was right he slid himself in, in one short thrust causing a large discomfort for me. "Ah," I gasped trying to keep quiet, as to not make him think he's done anything wrong. This came with the territory.

His large calloused hands made sensations dance up my arms and his kissed and licked at my mark making me moan, while he was completely still within me. When he started to move there was a slight pinching and even burning sensation for a couple of thrusts before my body started to get use to it and it felt pleasurable.

Jordan's moans were enough to cause an orgasm though. He had bit his lip and his face was tightened into pure freedom as if through me he could taste it. When my moans started to join his, I could feel Jordan's muscles tighten and so did his grip around me.

As we were combined as one, our wolves practically purring their delight, the world seemed to take on a different feeling. The stars in the sky seemed to align themselves in the room, making sure to aware me of their presence.

When we were finished he was heavily panting into my shoulder, his weight slightly pushing me into the bed. My exhausted arms were rubbing soft circles on his back, feeling up his scars and slight indentures from past traumas.

"Are you okay?" He asked timidly, pushing up off the bed and me to give me a once over. He moved over to the side of me rolling off the bed and going into the bathroom. I was curious on where'd he be going so quickly after we'd mated fully but when he came back with a wet rag I knew he was just being considerate. He took the liberty of gently cleaning me off and tossing his used condom away before getting back in the bed and pulling me close to him.

"I'm great, Jordan. Everything was." I whispered, the moment was stitched in something akin to gossamer and I didn't want to lose that. It was special.

"I know it hurt and I apologize—"

"Jordan that's how it works. It's life. Don't beat yourself up about it. It got better, a lot better." I paused and thought about how I felt down below. "In fact," I slid my hand up his chest eliciting a shiver. "You want to do it again?"

Jordan grabbed both of my wandering hands into one of his and brought them to his lips pressing a softly.

"As much desire, gratitude, and love I have for you at the moment. I'm going to pass." His deep rumblings were said into my hair so I could literally feel the words.

"Why?" My pout didn't go unnoticed.

"Because you're sore down there, and you should rest up a bit before we have another go at it." I sighed annoyed by his thoughtfulness.

"Did it please you?" I mumbled embarrassed, into his arm.

"If my words were enough to describe the feeling, I'd tell you. It was way better than my hand," he shrugged slightly not knowing what to say. Open Jordan was different. I liked it.

"I was shocked that you lasted for as long as you did. Most virgin guys tend to 'lose themselves' quickly."

"It wasn't easy." He said lightly. "But I had to make it good for you too. This was for the both of us. Not just me."

I turned around on his chest and looked up at him. Our nudeness slightly forgotten so was our sweat. "You know, when you're not yelling at me or commanding me around, you're quite the romantic."

He rolled his eyes plopping his back down on the pillow behind him. It only made me scoot up and lean over him. "Don't run away from it."

He was looking at me in a way he's never openly done before. As if I was something magical, a Seraph on earth that was coming to

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