Everything stays
Right where you left it
Everything stays
But it still changesEver so slightly
Daily and nightly
In little ways
When everything stays-Marceline(Adventure Time), Everything Stays

Song: Paralyze by Finger Eleven (below are Cowslips(flowers))

Dedicated to Izabel12 because she's been there since basically the beginning of all my stories and she's very supportive! Number one internet friend! Oh and ps, you guys can thank her, because I changed my mind on how I wanted Jordan to think this chapter. ;) yall will see.

3rd Person Pov.(not edited)

The atmosphere of the car was regulated. Jordan wasn't speaking and Korali was staring up out of the sun roof, watching the sky.

The sky was in twilight, blankets of purplish hues with shadows of pink and edges of orange lit up the ending day. In a way, the sky seemed magical and it fit with what happened today. Jordan and Korali were a quiescence for now. Not in the sense of perfection. But perfectly whole.

Korali knew they were heading home. She slid her hand over Jordan's and he flinched before relaxing under her touch. Maybe I was being a little selfish. I've never noticed that Jordan flinches when anyone's actually close enough to touch him. She thought. But then again, no one's ever close enough to touch him.

She removed her hand and placed it back in her lap. She wasn't going to push him today. She knew that when his mom came around Jordan was always particularly vulnerable and even sickly.

"Korali, I—I won't be the perfect mate-"

"Jordan that's—"

"Let me finish. I won't be the perfect mate. In fact, I know you deserve better. But I will try to give you all that I am capable of giving. But that could be good or bad."

"Like I've said before Jordan. Loving someone comes with good and bad."

Jordan eyed Korali wearily. He was alexithymic and he knew that she deserved more from him. He was tired. Tired of fighting instinct. Of fighting his heart. It was beating for her; it ached for her. His fingers hurt. He wanted to reach out and touch her soft and delicate skin, to feel the feelings she claimed were emanating from her pores.

But he resisted the urge; although it took all of his energy to do so. He wouldn't touch her without her permission. He didn't want to despoil her perfect skin; to take away from her innocence. He felt terrible enough that he was giving into the idea of being with her. It was wrong to subject her to his torments that came with being with him. But she refused to leave well enough of alone. Korali was the type to do what she wanted and damned the consequences. Because if it made her happy, even for a time, it was enough. Jordan admired that from his mate. She was always willing to do what she thought was right for not only her well being, but his. Her selflessness was bound to get her hurt.

His thoughts drifted back to the present when Korali whispered something. "Huh?" He asked stupidly, hating that he got himself so caught up in his own thoughts that he wasn't listening to her. He always listened. That's one thing he prided himself of.

"Pull over." Jordan's eyebrows crunched in concern thinking that she was getting sick or something so he did what she said immediately.

"Is there—?" He mumbled and before he could look up at her, she was already unbuckling her seat and climbing over to his. Korali plopped on his lap and wedged her fingers in his dark hair.

"Stop overthinking things that haven't happen yet." She soothed, her nails slightly dragging at his head in a comforting motion. "Live in the moment." Noticing his hesitance, she rolled her eyes and pulled his arms around her. "Stop being so scared to touch me. You wont hurt me. Or are you scared that you just might love me?" Korali was teasing, knowing love was a distance away for someone like Jordan.

"Love is immediate." Jordan breathed, his eyes going out the window. "I've loved you since I've met you. What you want is romance, intimacy, trust. Those are what I have the issues with."

Korali jutted her bottom lip out, she suddenly felt a strong force of pity for him. Her eyes lit up at the thought of what it'd be like if only he could show some emotion. She nuzzled her head on his and just sat there soaking in the hug like a sponge. The word 'love' coming out of Jordan's mouth was enough.

Korali climbed out of her spot, perched on Jordan's lap, moving too quickly and brushing against his male organ. She giggled when it jumped slightly from the friction. Re-buckling her seatbelt, she practically howled with laughter at how quick Jordan started to drive to get home.

By the time they made it to the house, it was dark out. There was no fog causing ghostly shadows or scary sights. Just a clear night with an abundance of little dust glitters from the moon, shining above them. The amorous and comfortable vibe had put Korali in a state of sighs and Jordan was his usual quiet self, trying to contain his hands.

Korali practically skipped to her tree with such a cheery beat that she could have sworn fireflies were following her. She hopped onto a branch to sit and watch as Jordan went to step a foot in front of her. His bashfulness was adorable, but she didn't want to be treated like glass. She wanted him to put his hands all over again, to smudge her, to love her in an actual touching way.

"Jordan, we're no longer friends." She announced with a small smile. "I assume we are boyfriend and girlfriend, correct?" She waited for his hesitant nod of agreement. "So, that means you can touch me any time you want, unless I say otherwise." Jordan blinked at her with a blank face and she didn't know what to take from that.

Korali grabbed his hands and placed them on her ribs, then sliding them down to her backside. "You want to touch me, right?" He nodded slowly, like a child learning the rules before playing a game. "So then do it." Korali leaned in stealing a kiss before pecking his cheekbone once. Her hands were playing feather games with his arms, lightly caressing them before retreating and then grazing again. Her rhythmic breathing had Jordan in some sort of hypnotic trance; he'd go to war for her, die for her, kill for her.

"Live for me, Jordan" Korali murmured sweetly, her hand brushing his cheek. He wasn't even sure that he had said that out loud. But her response made his body hum. It alarmed him to the point where he had the urge to leave and that was just what he was about to do before she kissed him.

Her lips pressing down on his was enough to lose a bit of his control. She was like kissing pure unfiltered sunshine and he felt her from deep within the depths of his dark soul. He felt like if he kept kissing her enough that perhaps a little bit of her flame would ignite, conflagrate, his heart and he could start new from the ashes.

"Jordan," Korali mumbled through their lip-lock. "Jay," she mumbled again finally getting his attention for a second before he lowered his lips to her chin and cheek. "Let's take this into the house." Jordan's whole body froze and he leaped away from her so fast that she almost lost her seat on the tree. "Whoa, what's wrong?"

"I—I'm not ready." Jordan was lying through his teeth and he knew it. He'd take her in a heartbeat. The problem did lie within him though. He still felt like he wasn't willing to hurt her at the moment. Not when everything was so golden. He needed things to be special for her. It was both of their first times and although Jordan didn't care if it was a romp in the garden or in a bed, he did know that girls like to be pampered when it came to this thing. Or at least that's what he gathered from the last couple of years he watched television.

"Oh," she gasped. "Of course! This is your first time too. I don't want to rush you. That's fine." She rushed hopping down from the tree, grabbing Jordan's hand, and pulling him into the house.

***

The next morning Korali buzzed around her room like an overcharged bumblebee, picking out clothes and running on love. As unresponsive as he was, she was glad to have Jordan finally. He was still going to have to show some effort, but she was ready for any start he was willing to give.

She fluttered out of her room—which she still thought was weird that they were sleeping in separate rooms, but it was her fault because she ran into and pounced into the bed, use to not going to him at night. She could smell the bacon and it was right on the table, sizzling, fresh, and crispy; just how she liked it. Jordan was at the waffle maker flipping it over with a little frown. The table had a fresh set of Cowslip flowers on the table in a white vase. I smiled. It's in Norse mythology that the Goddess Frigg held the keys to happiness and sexual love. And that plant would access that.

"You didn't have to cook me breakfast, Jordan." Korali said lowly, knowing that Jordan didn't like to be surprised. He had a mild case of PTSD from his mom and Korali rather not cause a trigger. One side of his mouth curved at her and he gestured to her seat. He brought over two nice looking waffles on a pristine white plate.

"I made you breakfast because I was hungry. And thought I might as well include some for you." He quirked a quick smile and she knew that he was joking.

"Two jokes in a two days Jordan? I think we have a record," she smiled and when she finally looked into his eyes her smile faded. "Jordan, what's wrong?" His eyes were bloodshot with dark rings around them. The bags under his eyes looked heavier than weights and she noticed his sluggish appearance.

Jordan's eye twitched slightly. "I'm fine. I'm fine. I just had a rough time sleeping last night. It's okay."

"No it's not." Korali was a firm believer in, if it's causing harm, then it's not alright. "We're taking a nap after breakfast." She wasn't leaving any room for disagreements and she didn't care about all of his 'buts'.

"Korali, I have things--"

"I don't care. You're going to sleep for a few hours and that's that. Max and Cailo can do whatever it is you're supposed to do today."

Korali was serious. She made a quick text to Jordan's best friends and she forced him up the stairs and to the bed. She would have much rather it have been something a little different than sleeping done, but she wouldn't complain being held.

Stripping down to her underwear, Korali crawled into the bed and patted the spot next to her. Jordan eyed it sleepily but hesitated. Sighing, her shoulders slumped and she asked "What's wrong now?"

"I'm not sure if—" He cut himself off, shook his head muttering something about 'self control' and walking towards the bed like he was going to court for sentencing. Korali didn't mind though, she assumed he was overthinking something and being stupid.

When he placed himself in the bed next to her, Korali was quick to lay herself over his body, causing him to relax his tense muscles. But one muscle in particular seemed to tense even more.

"I thought you were tired," Korali purred her hand moving circles on his chest. She thought it'd be funny to at least tease him a little.

"Please put on pants." Korali chuckled at his strained voice, hopping out of the bed and sliding on some jogging pants. She didn't plan on sleeping so she didn't mind the mild discomfort. She crawled back into his arms and felt him sigh. Smiling, she kissed his chin before snuggling deeper into his chest.

After five minutes, Korali felt Jordan's short breaths, and she knew that he had drifted off into sleep. She sat there softly caressing his feather soft hair, thinking about what his mom had said. "You, you are the key." What the hell did that mean? Korali understood the words, but not what she meant by them. How would she be the key to Jordan becoming what she wanted? He's not crazy. And even if he was, she'd love him through it.

When Jordan shifted and made turbulent movements she became concerned. "I'm so so sorry Kore," he muttered in his dream induce sleep.

He started to slid his hand down her back to her butt and Korali giggled lightly. Then he slipped deeper into sleep and was fine.

***

"I'm taking you into the city." Jordan told Korali as he put on clothes for the day. His nap had been very enjoyable even with the dream that he had. In the dream, he and Korali were finally about to have sex when every place he touched burned her. It got to the point where she was cowering in the corner from him and refused to look at him. But then he felt pressure of a hand from the real world and the dream vanished him into darkness and dreamless sleep.

"Really?" The smile that covered her face was enough to send pleasure chills through Jordan, straight to his private area.

Korali threw a dress on and they were making there way threw the forest. Korali was happily chirping about a childhood story while Jordan was paying close attention. He had a soft smile on his face and he was basking in her beauty and her general bright attitude.

"Hello, brother." Jordan and Korali's heads turned to the side to see Mahalia sitting on a rock. Jordan's breath hitched and he stared in disbelief at his little sister's form. "Am I going crazy from being happy?"

"No, she's here. Like I told you months ago." Korali reminded him, gripping his hand tight.

"Happy?" His sister chuckled. "Mom was right. Such a weak Alpha." Jordan paled and Korali gripped his hand tighter. When his mom came out, Korali was sure this was too much for Jordan to take at once. Both mother and daughter's penny brown hair were tied in a ponytail behind them. Only difference is that Mahalia had the warrior marks from berries under her eyes. Mahalia was wearing tight shirt and shorts. Jordan's mother was wearing a long black shirt and a pair of leggings.

"She's—she's supposed to be," he choked on his words and his mom rolled her eyes at that.

"Speak. Well actually don't. You're use to that." She chuckled settling her hand on her daughter—who did not flinch or shy away from her touch. She sat there like the perfect solider. "You should be stronger than this Jordan, but I don't expect much from you anymore. It'll take some time, some months to be sure. But I waited this long. It wont be much longer till I get what I want." Korali didn't know what she was talking about. She felt Jordan's breaths become laborious.

"Mahalia. Time to go." And they both dispersed into the trees. Korali looked to Jordan who bent over to catch his breath. When she made eye contact with him, something seemed to snap. He started running through the forest, straying from the trail. But she could tell that he was heading towards the house.

She kept a steady pace behind him. He was much too fast to keep up with and she tripped up over stones and logs. She even got flicked in the face by a branch—it would leave a bruise. When she finally got to the house she could see the door wide open. She tried her mind-link and contacted Cailo and Max to look through the forest. It worked! And she was overjoyed, but she had to find her mate.

"Jordan?" Korali asked from the door frame. His breaths were short and harsh, as if breathing was the hardest thing for him to do in the world. She watched him gag once before she brought the trashcan over and he wretched his soul out into the bag. Korali's lower lip lowered in sadness for her mate. But there was nothing she could do, but make him comfortable. She leaned toward him rubbing his back. When her hand touched him he jerked violently causing her to fall over. He was holding his head and he wasn't completely there. She didn't blame him at all.

Jordan couldn't feel anything. He felt a numbness from his head to his toes. She was supposed to be dead. She is dead. He felt his stomach lurch again. Why would his mom lie about his sister's death? Seeing the both of them together brought back memories of his childhood and made him sick again. His stomach lurched forward causing him to cough it up. When he thought he emptied his stomach enough he laid back onto the floor looking up towards the ceiling, the room swirling.

After what felt like days Jordan finally felt a weight on his legs and a warm tingling feeling crawling along his body. Korali. His heart pumped harder at the thought that she had seen him like this. At his worse and she was here comforting him. 

She could have been hurt. Did he hurt her? He popped up quickly taking his mate by surprise when she opened her eyes and stared up at him. "What's wrong? Do you need the trashcan again?" She reached her hand out to touch his forehead and he flinched a little. He frowned when she pulled her hand back.

"I'm sorry," Jordan mumbled looking at the distressed room. The covers were strewn all over the room, there was a broken lamp, the shade being ripped to shreds on the carpet. His eyes scanned over her face noticing a red welt on her cheek. "Did I?"

Korali was confused for a second before her hand went up to her cheek. "Oh, that! It's nothing. You didn't do it. I got this in the forest." She released her grip of his legs and sat back. "Jordan do you not remember what happen?"

"I remember," he swallowed. "I remember seeing my mom and Ma-Mahalia and then not so much. The rest was a blur."

"You charged at them. Trying to grab your sister's hand. She disappeared with your mom into the brush. Then something snapped in you and you took off running towards the house destroying anything in your path. I was hit by a branch while trying to chase you," Korali shrugged at her last sentence.

"So I did cause that," his hand lifted and went to her cheek with the bruise and he watched her wince. He sighed getting up and picking up Korali who squealed at the sudden upheaval. Jordan placed her on the soft cushion of the bed and said he'd be back in 15 minutes.

In Jordan's shower he couldn't help but be filled with such regret. As he brushed his teeth he began to think about himself. He was supposed to suppress all of his mother's past abuses. He couldn't hurt Korali on accident because of his mom's actions towards him. He grabbed his hair roughly, not understanding what was wrong with him. Why did she still have so much control of him?

The day Mahalia died was one of the worse days of his life. He was 15, and he remembered staring his mom when she walked into the house with a sour look on her face. Her jaw was clenched, her penny brown hair tied back tightly into a knot, the clothes she worse slightly slouched. Jordan's father came in after her his face sullen and tears in the corner of his eyes. It was only the third time he's ever seen his dad cry. The first was when Jordan was born—there was a video. The second time was when Mahalia was born.

His dad died the next week. Jordan went up to his parent's room to speak to his dad about leaving for outside experience, when he found his Father in the bed, his breath shallow. He tried to wake him but nothing would stir him. Panicked, Jordan went to tell his mom who pushed him