*We are getting close to the end guys:?*

*Alsoooo i uploaded chapter 43 before this one so make sure you read that one first.*

I've been staying off and on at Jacksons for the past couple of days now, my parents haven't said anything but I knew when I went home tonight they wanted to chat.

Which was lowkey terrifying. I was having a shower at Jackson's when I got the message which literally read: Are you home tonight? Your dad and I need to have a chat with you.

Honestly that sounds serious doesn't it? Is it because they think I'm spending too much time with Jackson? Is it something to do with Layton? The police? The doctors? Them?

It's scary.

It's about five pm, Tuesday evening. I stayed at Jackson obviously on Saturday, and we spent the day just lazing around on Sunday. But I slept at home Sunday night and have been here since Monday. I was getting ready to go back home though, especially since my parents wanted me home.

"Ives, is my phone in there?" Jackson says, knocking gently on the bathroom door as I stand wrap a towel around myself.

"Yeah. Two seconds." I secure the towel around me and open the door letting him in to grab his phone. He had a shower before me so I guess he just forgot it.

"Are you okay?" He asks, noticing my face.

"Yeah, my parents want me home that's all." I say and I watch as his eyes stayed locked on mine. I kind of forgot I was in a towel, he's doing a good job pretending that he's not bothered.

We had gotten so much closer over the last few days, but Jackson has really been restraining himself from me. He's kissed me once. Which is a little disappointing. But it's also nice. It's nice to know that he doesn't just want me around because he's attracted to me yanoe?

I think he's restraining himself because he knows how much of a mess I've been these last couple of weeks and I guess he wants me to feel comfortable at home with him.

I am more than comfortable, I can stand here in a towel and for one, not think he's going to attack me and two, not think I look disgusting. Two things I've been struggling with over the last few months.

"Oh? What did your mum and dad say?"

"That's all they said, they asked me if I was coming home and then they said they wanted to talk." I say, widening my eyes at him to emphasise how dooms day it felt.

"Oh god are they going to break up with you?" Jackson teases and I fail to keep the smile off my face.

Damn it.

"Get out." I laugh, nodding to the door. Needing to get dressed.

I had been wearing a comfy dress all day, as we had just been laying around in the sun. But seeing as I caught the sun a little, as soon as the midday heat vanished, I was left cold. So, I decided to just dress in some leggings and one of Jackson's jumpers for warmth.

I quickly reply to my parents, telling them that I will be back by six at the latest and I go and find Jackson. Who had complyingly left me a few moments ago.

"You can't go home in my hoodie." Jackson says from behind me and I look over to where he's sat at his desk, utterly offended.

"What why?"

"Your parents might be mad because you've been staying over, you can't then show up wearing my clothes." He frets and I just give him a quick, reassuring smile.

"It most likely won't be anything like that, plus, they like you, they won't care if I'm wearing your jumper."

"If you're sure, it's your funeral anyway." Jackson says and I gape at him.

"Excuse me? You'd just leave me to the wolves, wouldn't you." I mope and a annoying smirk crosses over his face.

"Yup, you said it, your parents like me. I'm not getting involved."

"Meany." I grumble and begin to gather my things. I check my phone again and quickly reply to the girls group chat, I messaged them the other day and they have all said they're happy to hear from me so I think everything's ok with them now.

"Do you actually want me to come with you?" Jackson laughs but I pout and he immediately sobers up. "Because I can if that's what you want?"

"No, I don't want you to come, don't worry." I smile and put everything into my bag. I don't want to leave, honestly. After spending four days in a row with him, it always felt sad leaving. Honestly, I need to get a grip.

"Are you going right now?" Jackson asks as I go to go downstairs, jumping up and following me.

"I guess so, better to just see what they want and get it over with."

"Are you coming back after?"

"Oh." I look up at him. "I thought I was just going to go home tonight anyway."

Jackson smiles down at me a little awkwardly and I cock my head at him. "No?" I ask if I was mistaken.

"Yeah, I know we said that, but I was just thinking. I don't know. Just, you can stay whenever." He tries to explain and I just smile at how he wants me here as much as I want to be here too.

"I'll just see what my parents say." I shrug sitting down on the sofa, putting off going home.

"I thought you were leaving." Jackson laughs and walks towards where I am snuggled in the cushions.

I pout at him; did he want me to leave? "What if they say I can't stay anymore."

"Then I stay at yours?" He asks and I grin at him.

This was getting dangerous.

"What if they say you can't?" I ask and he shakes his head at me.

"You just said you didn't think it would be about us."

"But what if it is."

"Ivy." Jackson groans a little at my overthinking and I just frown up at him.

I open my arms up a little to him and he just smiles at me, not making a move to come and hug me. What the fuck?

"Hello?" I say from the couch but he stays where he is.

The audacity.

I stand up and walk to him, pouting as even then he doesn't comfort me. I mean, not that I expect him to but like what is he doing?

I reach up and place my hands either side of his face, frowning as he looks down at me humorously.

"Why aren't you hugging me?" I ask, the confusion heavy in my tone.

Jackson laughs suddenly and pulls me to him, and I sigh happily as he embraces me. See that wasn't too hard now was it.

"Better?" He asks.

"Much." I mumble into his chest, my arms wrapped around his neck.

"Ives, go and find out what your parents want so we can both stop worrying." Jackson says quietly pulling away from me.

He didn't mean it in a cold way, but I was feeling extra needy right now and the fact he pulled away hurt my heart. Gosh, was I about to come on my period? I was extra sensitive.

"Ok." I mumble and go and put my shoes on, wondering if he was even going to come and say goodbye.

I could hear Jackson's footsteps as he followed me to the front door but I didn't hesitate to open it and walk out, well until I was stalled by him grabbing my hand.

"Woah, are you mad at me?" Jackson says, a line forming between his brows as he looks at me.

Averting my eyes i answer truthfully "No, I'm just stressed, sorry."

He pulls me to him and connects are lips on a short but sweet kiss. "Text me when you know what they want?"

His kiss is not needy, it has so much surety to it. So much reassurance. It's as if he believes he'll always be able to do this.

His lips make me dizzy.

"Mhm, ok." I whisper as I stumble away from him. I can feel Jackson's eyes on me as I walk away to the car. Putting extra effort into trying to walk straight, I try to keep concealed how dizzying the effect he has on me is.

It wasn't even a proper kiss, but the emotion behind it made me flustered.

What are we doing here?

----------------------------

At home my parents haven't mentioned anything about wanting to have a deep chat they just told me that dinners going to be ready soon so I should just dump my stuff in my room and then come straight back down.

I was pacing my room stressed, because did I just totally overthink their message? Was I literally just making things more difficult for myself? Did I need to be so stressed before? What did they want to tell me?

I decide I better just go down stairs and face them. So I cautiously creep down. Kind of wanting to listen to their conversation, but as they're both sat in some sort of heavy silence. I decide to stop being childish and just go see what's up.

"Are you both ok?" I ask, both of them jumping slightly at my sudden presence.

"Yeah we're alright." My mum says and my Dad taps the seat at the table next to him. "Come sit down."

Walking over to the table I notice how dinner is served for us, but neither of them have started eating.

"Yous are scaring me." I say as I sit down looking between them and their concerned faces.

"There's no reason to be scared Ives." My Dad says as he starts to serve me some spaghetti from the bowl in the centre of the table.

My mum starts to help herself and puts some food on my dad's plate. There's so much tension, I know that I won't be able to stomach much. They both nod for me to start eating and I look at them strangely but twirl the spaghetti and take a bite.

It's nice, but really irrelevant. "What's going on?"

My mum sighs heavily and put her fork down, nodding to my dad to start speaking.

"I'm leaving my job." My dad says and I furrow my eyebrows at them. My dad works as a deputy head in a local primary school, he loves his job. He is really good at his job, like they've all been really impressed by him.

"Why?"

"There's an opening at a struggling primary school for a temporary head teacher role, to improve the school and get it back on its feet. And well I applied and they want me." My dad says, his tone un-matching to the good news.

"That's good right? Like well done?" I say, why are they watching me so closely.

"The thing is honey; your Dad's job is across the country and we were thinking it would be a really good opportunity to get a fresh start for the whole family."

Oh. I see. They wanted to move.

"But- um." I start and my dad starts to explain more.

"Obviously this job is a great opportunity, but I only applied because your mother and I agreed that you need out of this town. We all do. The last year has been awful, and we don't want you to have to stay here, at that school and keep reliving these things. We want to help you recover and we really think this is the best thing for you."

"But mum." I say looking between them. "My friends? Jackson? They are my support system now. My group and Dr Halpin and even Mrs Granger... I'm only surviving because of them." 

"Baby you're surviving because you are so strong ,you don't need to credit your strength to anyone but yourself." My mum says and I feel myself getting teary.

I can't leave this town, I only just found out I love it here. That I love the people here.

"We've found another psychiatrist, and we've been talking to Dr Halpin and he said that although this change will be really hard for you, getting away and out of this town might actually be for the best. There's a really good support group down there as well, you'd have a support system in the new town too. You just wouldn't have to be in the same town as that boy and his family, you wouldn't have to even be in the same county." My dad explains.

And I know deep down that for the last few months this is what I've been wanting, I wanted to get out of this town, I wasn't to get away from these people and the memory of Layton.

But I couldn't leave my friends.

Could I?

"What about school?" I ask, "What about the house?"

"Hun, you hardly attend school anyway, your dad and I have discussed home-schooling until the end of the year and we think that this could really help you and then we'd figure something out for your last year. I would be home too, I am going to take some time to finish that book I've been working on, your dad's job means I can take some time to do that and so you won't be home all the time by yourself." My mum answers and my dad rests his hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

"The house will still be here, they're providing accommodation, the academy that is employing me to take over the school. So, we decided we'd keep the house and well we might come back. We love this town as much as you do sweet, we were all born here, but we just think as a family we need to have some time away."

"So, we might come back?" I ask.

"We have to come back for the trial anyway." My mum reminds me and I block that out. The trial not being something I want to think about.

"When?" I whisper. When do they want to leave?

"In a couple of weeks. That's when my job starts." My dad says and I look up at him in shock.

"Two weeks??"

"I know hun, we wanted to tell you sooner but we weren't sure this was the right choice, but watching how poorly you were the last week we knew we had to do this. Your dad officially accepted his offer yesterday."

"My friends. Jackson."

"Baby, you can keep in contact with them, he can come visit whenever." My mum says her hand coming across the table but I sit back, leaving my hands firmly planted on my lap.

"He's really important to me mum." I can feel myself getting emotional. I was literally thinking today how I never wanted to leave his. How I was moody over having to go home. My home being five minutes away.

I'm moving away, I wasn't going to just be able to see him.

"We know." My dad says and brushes a tear away that has fallen onto my cheek.

Can you blame me for getting emotional?

"What did Lotta say? I'm guessing you've talked to her as well." My tone is detached, I'm not angry with them, I know they are doing what they think is best for me.

And I can't disagree with them, the prospect of a new start, a place where people don't know me, don't know what happened to me unless I want to share it with them is freeing. But even so, my heart was breaking at the thought of having to leave my friends. Having to leave Nora and Faye and Jess. Even Jayden, who was being a better friend to me than he ever had been when we were together, my new friend Lucy.

Jackson.

Having to leave Jackson.

"She agrees that it may be good for you, that it won't affect the trial as long as you agree to answer any question they may have over the phone or video call."

"Oh." I say and we all fall into silence. My dad picking up his fork and continuing to eat.

"Ives, what are you thinking? Are you crazy mad at us for deciding this?"

I shake my head at her. I wasn't. "I wish you would have talked to me, but I understand. And I want this for you guys, this year has been so much about me and I know that it's all be so equally painful for you guys. I just, I'm going to miss my friends. A lot."

"We know honey. That's why I've been holding your dad back, he's not exactly on board with you staying round a boys house." My mum smiles softly at me and then grins at my dads deer in the headlights look.

He swallows and looks at me shaking his head innocently. "It's totally fine. Hasn't been keeping me up at night or anything."

My mum laughs at him and smiles softly at me. "How do you think Jackson will take it?"

I don't know mum, I doubt he will be pleased.

"Can I stay at his, this whole week? His parents aren't there and I know neither of you will like the idea but I just, I wanna spend the time with him whilst I can."

My dad chokes and makes a clear unimpressed noise. "His parents haven't been there?" He exclaims and I immediately give him a sheepish look.

"We, um. Dad it's not like that. I literally just want to be around him."

"Hun how close are you and Jackson?" My mum asks and my dad immediately slams his hands to cover his ears. He is really struggling with this whole thing. He was never really like this with Jayden. I suppose I hadn't been attacked then though.

I look at her awkwardly and she just shrugs glaring at my father across the table. "I know it's not really any of my business but we just want to know you're safe."

"I'm safe I promise. I um, we're close." I nod confirming their assumption that we are closer than just friends. "But it's nothing intense, I'm not ready for anything like that." I say.

I know that Jackson and I have been close to doing other things than just kissing but I don't know how I even feel about that. My parents definitely don't need to know about it.

What does it even matter now? I was leaving.

"Babe, please let her stay at his this week. She deserves some happiness." My mum says to my dad and his shoulders slouch in defeat.

"How can I argue with that?" He sighs.

"Thankyou." I say and look down at my phone.

Jackson: How is it? Are you ok?

Jackson: Ivyyyy

Texting him a quick explanation that I can't reply as we're having dinner and I shut my phone off and fall back into the conversation with my parents.

How on earth am I going to tell everybody?

I told myself that I wouldn't let this thing between Jackson and I get too intense, but it felt awful, the prospect of leaving.

My parents explain to me more about the place we're moving too, talking about the new house and everything that came with it.

Nothing there could replace the people I would be losing here, but I knew I had to go along with this. For their sakes. And for my own.

I had until the end of the school year to sort myself out, to focus on my education and getting my mental health better. Rebuilding my mental state, and working towards recovery. I don't actually know if there is recovery from sexual assault, but I was going to focus on getting myself better.

Then I could start a fresh for my last school year, wherever that may be.

After dinner my mum helps me pack a little suitcase for Jacksons. I knew he was going to be surprised when I told him I could stay the whole rest of the week, but I couldn't help but agonise over how I was going to explain this all to him.

"Have you looked at the weather for this week?" My mum asks sarcastically as I pack another jumper.

"What?" i shrug "I feel bad borrowing his all the time." I laugh and carry on folding.

"Here." She says, passing me a few sundresses from my wardrobe. "These make you look so beautiful and well you may as well use them while you can."

I don't know if she's referring to the way the weather Is nice at the moment or fact that I wasn't going to be spending that much more time with Jackson.

"Thanks..."

"Oh and suncream." She jumps up from her place next to the me and walks into my bathroom. "Do you want to take your shampoos and stuff too?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind grabbing them" I say.

There's a little bit of silence and she comes out with all my shower stuff in her hands looking puzzled.

'Why is there a 'no' written on your shower temperature thing?"

"Oh, Jackson wrote it a couple of weeks ago." I explain.

"Why?"

I look away embarrassed, the heat making its way up my face again. "just to remind me, not to like turn it hotter than necessary."

"Ivy?" She says sitting down next to me. "These secrets you have with him, the ones that Jackson is helping you with. I need to know, because it's just going to be us for a little bit." My mum says, her light-heartedness falling away.

Taking