Chapter 5
Saturday evening rolled around...and Josie was still upset about Travis. She brushed out her wet hair, fresh from a shower, as she stared at her reflection in the fogged-over mirror. Working around Travis this week -- and keeping it professional -- had taken its toll on her. She was up to three yoga and meditation sessions a day, just to relax her mind and focus onnothing.
Breathing helped.
Pushing her body to its flexible limits helped, too. But all that didn’t filter out Travis. She tried...Lord, how she tried to change how he thought about her, but after Thursday night, Josie knew it would take more than just a new wardrobe and a little extra hard work. It was going to take time, and time was the one thing Josie was tired of waiting around for.
And dammit! She wanted to have some freaking fun for the first time in nearly three weeks!
"Growing up sucks," she said to her reflection, and then laughed, remembering how Kim said nearly the same thing.
Sitting down on the side of her bathtub, Josie slumped and thought about the conversation she had with her dad and Hannah that morning. It had started out with a checking-in thing from Justin, making sure she was locking her doors and filling up her gas tank...and sleeping alone. But when Hannah got her chance to talk to Josie, she heard the strain in Josie's voice, and asked all the right questions, like "Have you done anything fun lately?" and Josie didn't have the heart to say she was working so hard at being a freaking mature adult that she hadn't the time or energy for fun, but she told her about Travis' competition that night, and she was looking forward going out with some new friends afterward -- complete lie, that one. She didn't have any new friends.
But this would be the first non-work-related thing she’d done all week, and she really needed to do something other than eat, sleep and work. She should have already gone out to some local bars in Memphis, but she never managed to find a friend to go with her.
Any friend...not listed as a co-worker or client.
It’s only your first week, she reminded herself as she got up and went to study her closet full of clothes. You’ll make friends again.
She hoped so. She’d been damn lonely this week, working late hours because she didn’t feel like going back to an empty apartment, even though that empty apartment still had boxes piled up along the bare walls. Josie kicked one box out of the way as she deliberated between mature, freaking adult...or rock-n-roll all night long. Professional? Or concert-babe, with the black leather tights and sequined halter top?
Her mind flashed to Travis. “Princess Kirkland” he used to call her...with spite. She thought that he was a friend she could turn to if she ever found herself without, one but lately, things had changed between them. He seemed so...so...so put-off by her all the time, and she didn’t know what his problem was. She stopped teasing him. She stopped acting like a spoiled brat. She stopped trying to lock him in his damn studio booth, for crying out loud. But she tried to be just a friendly person, and he got worse. He kept looking at her like she was some kind of troll in a Jackie Kennedy suit.
And what the hell was with him staring at her hair all the damn time? She washed it and styled it to suit her position at the studio, but every time she talked to him, his eyes traveled up to her hairline, and she got the urge to reach up that and check for pineapples that might be sprouting from her skull.
“Screw it,”she said to herself, “I’m dressing for the occasion.” And she jumped around her room, peeling the suffocating leggings up her thighs and around her bottom. Gotta lay off the chocolate cake…
She dug out her Don’t-Mess-With-Me platforms with the studded spikes on the heels and spent the next hour working on her hair and make-up. When Livie buzzed to be let inside the apartment building and came up at her door, Miss Kirkland from Raw Studios had disappeared. The Princess stood in her place. Travis can stuff it.
“Damn, sweetie,” Livie said with a smile as she scanned Josie from head to foot. “How come you don’t dress like this for work?”
Josie shrugged. “These are my going-out clothes. I’m keeping my lifestyles separate.”
Livie cocked her head as she peered all the way up into Josie’s face. “Why?”
"You made me sign the sexual harassment policy, Liv."
"Doesn't mean you can't dress like you want, if all the parts are covered. We don't have a dress code, you know."
“Well, then...I just want to keep it separate,” Josie said and locked her apartment. “Let’s go.”
The Pyramid was bustling with crowds when they arrived. Josie was glad she decided to go all out on her appearance. She was actually dressed rather tame, compared to some of the other people around her. If she’d gone the complete opposite route, she’d disappear. And Josie didn’t like to vanish...she wanted the attention she got from approving male eyes. She needed it to feel pretty again...like there was someone out there who liked what they saw.
“I’ve got us backstage passes,” Livie said. “But I like to see the show from the seats. You can go on back, if you want.”
Josie shook her head. “I prefer to sit in the audience, too.”
“But Travis is backstage,” Livie said, and Josie replied, “So?”
Livie rolled her eyes. “Dressed like that, and you don’t want to go see him?”
“I’m here for the music,” Josie said, and Livie said, “Uh huh.”
Josie stopped and rounded on the tiny woman. “Just what are you saying, Livie? Spit it out. I know you’re just curling in your shoes to tell me whatever the hell it is.”
Livie looked up at her. “You know you’re not on the clock, right? This isn’t the studio.”
Josie smiled as she was bumped from behind. “Yeah, I noticed that. What’s your point?”
“I’m not going to fire you for going after him on your own time, you know that right? I wouldn’t even fire you if you went after him during work hours, too, if it didn’t interfere with your work and he was agreeable to it.”
So, that’s it… “Livie,” Josie said. “I’m done teasing him, and I’m done chasing after him. He made it quite clear the other night what he thought of me, and I really do just want to get settled with work and my own life.”
“Uh, huh.”
“It’s true. And I don’t need to chase after him. He’s a grown man. He can do whatever he wants.”
“But you’d still like some favorable attention,” Livie said, leading the way to the open arena and stage area.
Josie sighed. “He pays me plenty of attention when I’m not dogging his heels all day.”
“Oh...so you’re taking that route, huh?” LIvie asked with a grin over her shoulder. “Make him come to you?”
“I’m not taking any route. I’m getting my adult, non-college life in order before I pursue a social life.”
“Yeah, well...don’t spend so much time getting settled. He won’t be single for long.”
An icicle shot through Josie’s heart. “What do you mean? Is he really seeing someone?”
“Not at the moment,” Livie said. “But things change.”
And so do people, Josie thought as they swam with the tide to get into the arena. They found their seats and enjoyed the first three bands. They were good...not as good as Travis’ band, but Josie was biased. “How come you don’t sign The Keychains?” Josie asked Livie between bands.
“I offered,” Livie answered. “But for some reason, Travis wants to know that he can make it on his own without a contract handed to him just because he works with me.”
Josie smiled at that. So like Travis, she thought. He was stubborn like that...the criticism had to be earned.
However, as the contest proceeded, she noticed a lot of hackling among some of the groups of people closer to the stage and worried about how Travis might react if his music wasn’t appreciated. One band, Fury Cloud, could barely get through their one song without the boos hitting them. Josie frowned. Livie scowled.
“Damn cynics,” Livie muttered in Josie’s ear while they sat down. “Too much negativity here.” Josie glanced down at the band listings and noticed that The Keychains were to perform after two more bands. Josie hoped the audience pacified before then. Travis and his band had been working hard for this, and she did know that winning was important to him. He wanted this...and Josie wanted it for him.
Livie suddenly jerked and squeaked, her hand going to her heart.
“What’s wrong?” Josie stared at her, thinking the worst. Livie wasn’t a spring chick anymore. She was more tired this past week than Josie had ever seen her.
Livie laughed at herself as she pulled her cell phone from inside the neckline of her purple tunic and said, “Sorry...scared me, too. Forgot I put it there.” She glanced at the screen and frowned again.
“Uh oh...’S.O.S.’,” she said, flashing her phone screen at Josie.
“From who?”
“Travis.”
The next band started to set up while the proprietor for the contest announced them. “What? Why? What's wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Livie said, a serious expression on her face. “But he wouldn't send that unless it’s big. Come on.”
Josie followed her boss to the backstage area, flashing their passes at the big guy guarding the entrance. A tunnel flowed underneath the back seats of the arena behind the stage, and Travis was already there. Josie nearly broke out in a sweat. His dark eyes were wild with nerves. But he barely glanced at her. He stared at Livie.
“We've got a problem,” he said, and Josie saw the tight stress lines forming around his mouth. He wasn’t just nervous...he was frightened.
“What's wrong?” Josie asked instantly, hating that his big night was about to blow up.
“It’s Lydia,” he said, walking quickly back the way he came. Livie and Josie trotted to keep up. “She's locked herself in the bathroom stall, and someone said she was throwing up. We go on stage in ten minutes. I need your help, Liv.”
“Okay...okay,” Livie said, patting his arm. “I'll take care of this.”
The three of them stopped outside the ladies’s bathroom, joined by the rest of The Keychains, all looking just as troubled and worried as Travis....well, except for Tractor who smiled and said, "Hey, Josie."
Livie disappeared inside, dragging Josie with her. Immediately, they came to a halt as the horrid puke smell jackknifed into Josie’s nostrils. Retching sounds could be heard from the farthest stall. Only a small crack between the stall door and floor showed signs of life behind that door.
“Lydia, sugar, it’s Livie.” Livie pounded on the door with her palm. “You okay? Is this nerves or something else?”
Lydia groaned...and vomited into the toilet again...and again. Until only dry heaves echoed off the tiled walls.
“Okay, that's something else,” Josie said, trying the handle. “Lydia...we’re here to help. Unlock the door. We’re going to get you to a doctor.”
A moan came out of Lydia. “No...the band…”
“Don't you worry about that,” Livie said. “We’re going to get you better first. Josie, see if you can't find her boyfriend. He’s never that far away.”
Lydia fumbled to unlock the door, and when Josie saw her pallid complexion and swollen eyes Josie knew for sure this wasn’t nerves. She raced to the bathroom door and yelled out if anyone had seen Lydia’s boyfriend. A big, beefy guy pushed his way through The Keychains and rushed to Lydia’s side.
Travis touched Josie’s arm before she could go back to Lydia. “What’s wrong with her?”
Josie sighed. He won’t like this… “She’s sick, Travis. I’m sorry.”
His hand fell away from her. His gaze hollowed out as the realization and the consequence hit him. “Sick? What do you mean sick?”
“I mean she’s sick,” Josie said. “Too sick to sing.”
Travis blinked and stepped backward, and his jaw tightened, and Josie stood in her own spot, fighting the urge to wrap her arms around him.
Lydia leaned on her boyfriend’s side as they exited the bathroom. Lydia said, “I’m so sorry, guys…”
Travis sucked in a breath. Anyone could see this was serious. Lydia was in no shape to do more than moan and hang on. “It’s okay, Ly,” Travis said. He looked up at the boyfriend. “Take good care of her.”
Lydia and her boyfriend left the backstage area. Livie came out, drying her hands on a paper towel. Josie only had eyes for Travis. She could tell this was affecting him on several levels. And she hated it. He deserved this chance. He’d been working so hard this week. Josie took the time each night to sneak down to the basement and listen for a few minutes, not wishing to disturb their practices. But she’d been impressed by what she heard through the closed door. The Keychains were great...and now only they and her would know that. No contest tonight.
Stan was the one to say it first. “Well, that's it then.”
“Yup,” Dave sighed and leaned against a wall with his palms over his face.
Travis turned away...he walked to the edge of the stage where the last band was finishing. Their time was after the next group. Josie watched him.
“F*ck,” Travis said quietly. He stared out at the crowds beyond the stage lights. Josie walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched...and she licked her lips as she gave him back his space.
“What do you want to do, Trav?” Tractor asked him, darting a quick, distinct glance at Josie.
Travis turned and faced his band members. “What else can we do? We needed Lydia. I’ll just have to tell the manager that we forfeit.”
Solemn faces accepted Travis’ decision, and Tractor, standing close to her elbow, jostled her. “You do it,” he whispered in her ear. Josie’s heart constricted in her throat. She turned to Tractor and whispered back, “What?!”
Sing, he mouthed at her and jerked his chin to Travis. Josie looked back at the stage...then at Tractor and shook her head, and then her eyes landed on Livie, who was staring expectantly at her, and Josie looked again at Travis, who looked like someone told him Santa Claus wasn’t real, and she stepped forward as he began to head toward a door marked Stage Office…
And she said, “No...wait! I'll do it. I'll sing.”
Half a dozen eyes landed on her. Travis’ were the most intent.
“I know the song,” she said quickly, encouraged by Tractor’s slight smile and Livie’s casual nod. “I've been listening to you practice all week...down in the basement. I, uh, sneak down there, sometimes at night to listen for a while.”
Stan’s and Dave’s expressions altered toward hopeful, and Tractor flat out grinned, but Travis only looked flat. Josie swallowed. “I can sing if...if you want me to, Travis.”
She read the silent question coming out of his gaze, “Can I trust you?”
“Why?” he asked gruffly, finally taking in her concert-going clothes and spiked shoes. “You said you don't sing in bands.”
Josie twisted her hands in front of her. “Because...because I know how much this means to you, and I'm your friend. Friends help each other out.”
Then there was Tractor, standing closer beside her, supporting her announcement. “Yes, Trav...she can do it. She’ll be great. We have a few minutes; she can learn the words,” and Dave walked over to her other side, saying, “Josie has a killer voice...she can fake the song, if she has to." All of them faced Travis, watching for him to decide.
Travis stomped to her, grabbed her elbow and yanked her to a corner of the hallway, whispering low but harshly, “Don’t f*ck with me, Josie. What do you want? What exactly do I have to do to return this favor?”
She stared sadly, knowing exactly why he was angry at her. That past behavior coming to bite her on the butt. “Nothing, Travis...this one is free. I promise.”
“Why?” he asked again as the next band, the one before The Keychains, started their song.
She raised her chin and gently extracted her elbow from his grasp. “I don't need a reason. I want to and that will have to be good enough.”
“I swear to God, Josie,” he said darkly, “if this is another one of your tricks…”
Josie breathed her warrior breath. “Travis...I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m your friend. I won’t let you down. Please...let me help you.”
He stared deeply, hard, into her face...then he closed his eyes and gave her a slight nod. “You have two minutes to memorize the song. If you can’t...then, for God’s sake, fake it like you’ve never faked anything before.”
A little, impish smile formed on her lips -- she couldn’t help it. “I’ve never faked anything before, Travis.” He growled again, and The Keychains gathered around, quickly cramming her with notes about the music.
Livie stood back, watching and listening...a shrewd expression flowing across her small face, but she seemed happy about something, and Josie was worried about that.
“You sure you know the song?” Travis asked as they readied to take the stage.
Yes,” Josie said, rolling the tension out of her shoulders.
“There's that change in the second verse--”
“I know.”
“And the intro...it’s crucial to catch their attention in the intro--”
“I know, Travis...I know.” Josie marched up the steps to the stage...and froze.
Travis bumped into her. “What now?”
She stared out at the sea of faces in the audience. Okay...second reason she’d never sung in a band. Performing for family or friends was one thing...but twenty-thousand strangers? “I, uh, just remembered...I haven't sung in public in a very long time,” she said around the frog in her throat and the butterflies in her stomach.
“What?” Travis said, peering around to see her. “Jesus! Do you have stage fright?”
She gave him a weak smile as she held up her fingers, spread an inch apart. “A little.”
“And you’re just now telling me this?!”
“I’ll be fine...once the music starts,” she said shakily, taking her spot among the band. Travis muttered a curse and joined her on the left, eyeing her carefully.
“Breathe, Josie,” he said softly. Then The Keychains were announced, a spattering of applause -- some catcalling and hounding attached -- and Tractor started the opening beat.
And Josie forgot the damn
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