Compromise Me: Chapter 36

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Chapter 36

 

“You’re late,” Arielle hissed in Travis’ ear when she opened the door to him.

“Sorry,” he said and brushed past her.  Tristan came scurrying out from the back of his new home, pumping his little legs as fast as they can move.

“Daddy!  Daddy!  You late!”

Travis swung his son high in the air.  “I know.  I’m sorry.”

“I go now!  Sandbox, sandbox!”

Travis laughed and gave him a kiss on the forehead.  “Go grab your stuff so we can scoot.”

Tristan wiggled down to the floor and he skidded back to his room.  Arielle rounded on Travis, eyeing him up and down.  “You wore that yesterday.”

“It’s still clean,” he replied, looking around the house.  Arielle and Sam had managed to get a lot unpacked over the week.  Only a few miscellaneous boxes lined a wall.

"It's wrinkled," she pointed out.

"That tends to happen sometimes."

“Did you sleep with her yet?”

Travis gave her an annoyed look.  “Why do you ask me that everytime I see you?”

“Well, I just happened to call Josie not long after Tristan called you, just to ask her the name of that storage place she used before she moved in, and she just happened to mention that she didn’t have the phone number on her and she wasn’t home yet...so?”

“So what?”

“So, who slept over whose house?”

“Neither of us,” Travis said, smiling again as Tristan came back, dragging a large, overflowing duffel bag behind him.  “Are you bringing the kitchen sink, too?”

Tristan stopped and wrinkled his forehead.  “Kit’en sink?”

“Never mind,” Travis said and bent to help his son.  “Whatcha go in here?  It’s heavier than you are.”

“Yeah, what do you have in there?” Arielle asked, looking into the bag.  “Oh, good heavens.  It's all his toy animals."

"Yup," Tristan said happily.  "I make zoo with owl and ‘olcano!"

"This must be your influence," Ari said to Travis, ruffling her son's hair.  "Because I don't know where this sudden fascination with owls came from."

“Actually, you could probably thank Josie,” Travis said.  “She's to blame for the volcano and owls--”

“Oh!  Shosie owl!” Tristan yelled in Travis’ ear.  “Down, Daddy!”  The boy squirmed so that Travis nearly dropped him.

“Where are you going now?” he asked as his son scampered back to his room.

“Forgot Shosie owl!”

Travis shook his head and shouldered the bag, prepared to wait until Tristan finally got all his treasures ready.  Arielle stepped in front of him, a weird little smile on her face.  “What?” he said.

“You’ve changed.”

“I’m still wearing the same clothes I wore five minutes ago,” he said, frowning at her weirdness.  “What’s wrong with you?”

“No, I mean, you’ve changed.”

“You said that, but it still doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Arielle looked up into his eyes, still smiling.  “You know what I mean...how do you feel, Travis?”

Ah…so that was it.  “I feel fine,” he said, looking away, moving away, getting away from Arielle and her uncanny ability to know him too well.

“No guilt-ridden explanation for being late, no promises to make it up to Tristan, no letting me pick a fight with you…”  She broadened her smile.  “I guess I should thank Josie for this, too, huh?”

Tristan ran back into the living room, carrying more of an armload than just Shosie’s owl, and Travis asked him if he said bye to Sam yet.  Tristan said, “Uh, oh!  Daddy Sam!”  And then the boy dumped his additions at his father’s feet and ran off again, this time toward the back door.  Travis gazed back at Arielle, assessing her scrutiny and thinking about how much he’d always loved and trusted her to be honest with him, even if it meant steadily trying to pick fights.

“Ari...how did you know?  About Sam?”

“The first time, or the second time?”

“Both.”

Ari perched on the back of her couch and said, “The first time, I was so young.  I didn’t need to know anything else.  I was in love with him, and that was all that mattered to me then.”

“And now?”

“And now...I have Tristan and you,” she said softly.  “To love Sam again meant he had to find a special place in my heart that the two of you haven’t already conquered.  It meant he wasn’t the most important person to me anymore, but when I’m with him, just him, then for those few seconds, he is my whole world.  There’s a fine balance, and some hellish timing,  but to sacrifice any of you just to love the other more...well, there comes a point where that is impossible.”

“You wouldn’t give him up for Tristan?”

Ari laughed wryly.  “When we first started dating again after I had Tristan?  I would have dumped Sam in a heartbeat, if I had to.  Luckily, I stuck it out for a while, and it never came to that.  Right now?  If given the choice, Sam would be the one to sacrifice himself for Trist.  He loves our boy that much, and I love him for it.”  She reached out and grabbed Travis’ hand hanging by his side, holding it between her palms.  “I guess the question you should probably ask yourself is…  Are you still deciding between the two, or are you finally allowing Josie the responsibility?”

Staring down at his larger hand squashed between her two smaller ones, Travis digested her words, and knew that was the exact reason he couldn’t sleep last night.  Josie had been there in his arms, content and beautiful and in love with him, and he had been unable to leave her.  And in a strange way, that scared the shit out of him while energizing him at the same time.  He couldn’t make heads or tails of it.  He knew, if forced to make the choice, his would be Tristan, always Tristan, but he laid there all night, praying to God it never came to that.  He didn’t want to carry that “responsibility,” as Ari put it, by himself anymore.  Sharing it with Josie…  Loving her the way she claimed to love him…  

He didn’t want to have to choose between her and Trist...ever.

“Is it really that simple?” he asked her, a catch in his throat.

“For me, it was,” she replied.  “For you?  I don’t know, and I don’t know what else to tell you, Travis.”

He nodded.  “That helps.  Thanks, Ari.”

She stood up and smiled, pulling him into a hug.  “I’ll tell you what...I’ll refrain from making anymore snarky comments about you and Josie, okay?  I just want you to know, that if you need to talk, then I’m here for you.”

He returned her hug with all the love he felt for her, and that was how Sam and Tristan found them.  Luckily, Sam was not a jealous man.  “What’s this?” Sam called out as the back door shut loudly.  “Embracing my wife?”

Travis smirked at Sam, who had Tristan on his shoulders, and stuck out his hand for their regular shake.  “Just keeping her warm for you.”

Sam grinned down at Ari.  “I like her warm.”

Travis looked up at Tristan.  “You ready to go now, Little Man?”

“Yup!  Bye, Mommy!  Bye, Daddy Sam!”

After a round of hugs and kisses, Travis finally got the boy out into his truck, buckled in, and on the road back home.  

 

*****

 

“Hi, Daddy,” Josie said, smiling at the phone on her bed as she folded laundry.  Her father’s voice came over the speaker.

“Whatcha up to, baby?”

“Laundry,” Josie said.  “What have you been up to lately?”

“Well, that’s kind of why I’m calling,” Justin Kirkland said with a little laugh.  “I’m taking the whole family to Spain--”

Josie dropped the pair of socks.  “Spain?  Y’all just got back from Hawaii.”

“This is different,” her dad said, a slightly sadder tone to his voice now.  “This is for Mom.  She...she needs to get away for a while.”

Josie smiled painfully at the phone.  “I understand, Dad.  She’s lost so much and you want to give her some joy.”

“You know, I love that you understand me so well,” Justin said.  “And that’s why I’ve decided to take the whole family--even Mark, Kim and Max.  We’re jetsetting to Spain to pick up Luke and his crew, and then we’re renting a yacht to travel all around the Mediterranean.  It’s costing me a small fortune, and I’m dipping into my retirement to help pay for it.”

“And you told me to never dip into the retirement,” Josie teased her father.

“Unless it is for a good cause,” he replied.  “And this one is.  So...I need to know if I’m adding your name to one of the plane tickets.”

Josie rolled her eyes.  “Well, yeah, I want to go!  When are we leaving?”

“Next Sunday,” her dad said, and Josie stared at the image of her father on the phone’s screen.

“Next Sunday?” she repeated.  “So soon?”

“The kids start school in a few weeks--”

Josie’s eyes flew to a calendar hanging on the back of her bathroom door, where she marked off her menstrual days.  Oh, my god!  It was the end of July already!  Where had the summer gone?  Of course, her dad would want to leave soon.  Once the middle of August hit, her brother and sisters started school for the year, and scheduling vacations like this was nearly impossible until the Christmas break.

“And this will be the last time both of Luke’s girls are home, since they're both off to college this year--of course, over there, they call it attending university,” her dad finished off in a horribly off-British accent, and Josie giggled at him.  

“We’re all taking the next week to clear out our schedules and arrange for someone to cover for us at work.  So?  Can you ask your slave-driver boss to let you off for a while?” he asked.

Josie turned back to her phone.  “Livie isn’t a slave-driver, Dad, and I don’t know about getting some time off right now.  We’re in the middle of a big project--you remember me telling you about it, right?  We’re starting a comprehensive record label, and--”

“And Short and Pushy won’t let you off to spend time with your family?  We need you with us.”

“Dad...she really hates it when you call her that,” Josie chided her father gently.  “And it’s not Livie’s decision on this.  It’s mine.  This is my project, so I’m the slave-driver here.  I just can’t.  I’m sorry.”

“It won’t be the same without you, you know this,” he said, Guilt-Trip coloring each word with pinpoint accuracy.

Josie chewed on her bottom lip.  “Dad...I’m on a deadline.  You, of all people, know about deadlines.  I recall a summer where you had to leave me to work on a submarine.”

“Hey, now,” her dad said.  “That summer turned out to be the one that changed both our lives, so you can’t use it against me anymore.”

With a snicker, Josie agreed with him.  “Listen, I would love to cruise around the mediterranean with my family, but if I don’t finish this project, we could lose our investors.  I can’t leave next week, but maybe…”  She glanced back at the calendar.  “We have a meeting scheduled for Thursday.  If we meet our investors’ expectations, we might be able to get everything finalized sooner, and I might be able to join you for a week or few days toward the end of your trip.”

Her dad sighed.  “When did you become so responsible?”

“Don’t you ask me that everytime we talk about my work?” Josie asked him with a smile.  “I’ll tell you what...since I can’t say for sure if I’ll be able to join you, I’ll be down next weekend to see everyone before you leave, okay?”

“I guess that will have to do...for now,” he said, and Josie resumed her clothes folding.  “And, uh...Josie?”

“Yes, Daddy?”

“Maybe...um, maybe you can bring Travis with you…”

Clothes forgotten again, Josie blinked at her father’s image on her phone’s screen.  “Care to repeat that?”

Justin Kirkland cleared his throat and said, “Well...uh...we’ve not been able to spend much time with him, unless you count Dad’s--um, I mean, we’ve haven’t had much opportunity to, uh…”

She grinned as her dad stumbled over his words.  She hadn’t heard him this tongue-tied in forever.  “Daddy,” she began sweetly, “are you warming up to the idea of Travis and me together?”

“Just, uh...how together are you?”

“Closer than last time you asked, but not so close you need to worry about me changing my name anytime soon,” she answered, knowing where her dad’s weak spots were.

His silence spoke volumes.

Then he said, “You, uh, think you can, uh, wait a while before you drop that bomb on me?  I’m still adjusting to you living on your own, and having a career, and dating, and…  I’m not ready to be a grandpa, Josie.”

Josie picked up her phone and pressed it to her ear.  The cool contact of the screen gave her the sense that her father was closer to her right then, rather than hundreds of miles away.  “Daddy, you may think that, but when the time comes, I know that you will be as great of a grandpa as my own was.”

Again, he allowed a moment of silence to pass before speaking.  “Josie,” he said, a crack in his voice, “that means so much to me, that you said that...thank you, baby girl.”

Closing her eyes as they filled with tears, she said, “I meant every word, Daddy.  I love you, you know.”

“I love you, too, baby girl,” he said.  “Give us a call before you head this way next weekend, okay?”

“I will,” she promised.  “I’ll see you soon.”  She ended her side of the call, and smiled to herself.  So, Daddy wanted to spend some time with Travis?

Hmm...how would Travis feel about that?



*****

 

"Shosie!  Shosie!"

Little Man tripped over his own feet, in a rush to fling himself into Josie's waiting arms.  Travis sighed, thinking the kid might never play soccer with agility like that.  Not that Travis was a big fan of soccer, but he knew it was a popular sport among mothers of young children...and he was sure Arielle had her heart set on getting one of those minivans and hauling around coolers of juice pouches.  Arielle was a big fan of the whole American Dream.  Travis just wanted to make sure Tristan grew up happy, whether he raced down a field or cheered from the bench.  

Josie laughed aloud, swinging Trist high.  She barely had time to get out of her car before the boy barreled out of the house.  What Josie didn't know was that, as soon as Tristan heard she was coming over, he dragged the rolling desk chair over to one of the front windows, fully intent on keeping a Shosie vigil.  Needless to say, Travis wished he'd kept it a secret, because his son ate his lunch and took his nap in that chair.

"Oh, heavens!  You're getting heavy," Josie claimed, hugging Trist tight in her arms.  "What has your daddy been feeding you?"

"Pean-yut but'er!" Tristan answered happily.  "But Daddy forgot crust." That last part was said with a sigh of impatience.  Travis chuckled as Josie turned her laughing eyes on him.

"Uh oh," she replied sternly.  "Daddy forgot to cut off the crust?"

"Yup...but it okay.”

Travis stepped off his front porch, smiling.  “He stuffed half the sandwich into his mouth before he even noticed.”

Josie set Tristan down, and the boy took her hand, pulling her into the house.  The two passed by Travis, and the man reached out quickly to take her other hand, pulling her fingers up for a brief kiss before his son dragged her away.  “Could you…”  Josie laughed, stumbling up the steps.  “Travis, could you get the pies?  In the front seat?”

And then the screen door slapped shut behind her, and Travis leaned across the driver’s side to retrieve the two pies she brought, her keys from the ignition, and her purse.  Inside the house, the two were nowhere to be seen.  Travis followed the sound of laughter -- taking a quick detour in the kitchen to drop off the pies and purse -- and found Josie and his son already ankle deep in the sandbox.  Every plastic, metal, and wooden animal Tristan owned sat in little groupings, barricaded with sticks and rocks for fences, and separated by trenches and hastily built volcanoes.  It was his attempt at recreating a zoo, and Josie threw herself into the middle of that tiny imaginary world as if she’d helped build it.

Travis stood in his back door, watching them, not sure whether he smiled or frowned, since the tightness in his chest caused him to focus on little else of his body.  Josie wasn’t playing -- well, she was playing, playing like she was just another child in that sandbox.  He meant that she wasn’t attempting to fool him.  Everything about her laugh and her smile and her gazes said she truly enjoyed where she was and who she played with.  

Josie loved his son.

Oh, Travis never doubted that she cared for Tristan.  But after talking with Arielle that morning, he decided that he would take the time to really study her as she interacted with Tristan.  Standing there...Travis thought he knew all her expressions.  He thought for sure he had memorized every smile, every squint of her eyes, every softening of her cheeks and dip of her chin.  He had witnessed soul-wracking tears, heart-opening laughter, and intense, sacred frowns.  

But with his hand clenching the doorframe and his son’s giggles echoing in his ears, Travis stared at Josie.  Her smile now...it reminded him of someone.  Who?  He couldn’t place it.  Then she started singing, and she sang a sweet children’s tune to Tristan as she trotted a horse along a path, and Tristan was entranced, and it all hit Travis like a cannonball to the gut.

Hannah…  A memory from ten years ago.  Travis remembered the summer Hannah came to the studio after she had her twins, and she recorded a few songs for Livie, and then he remembered teenage Josie walking in with one of the babies in her arms, saying, “I’m sorry, Mom, but Rose won’t stop crying.”

Ten years fell away, and Travis was staring through the glass of the sound booth, watching Hannah holding her child, rocking Rose and singing softly, and he remembered the look on her face…

The same look on Josie’s face as she smiled at Tristan.  

Then Josie turned that smile toward him, and it was the same smile Hannah shared with her husband, and Arielle shared with hers.  And now Travis stood on the receiving end.

It's happened.

Travis swallowed back the lump forming in his throat and went to light the grill and prep the steaks.  He busied himself for the next twenty minutes, until Josie managed to convince Trist to head inside and wash up for dinner.  Letting the seared steaks rest on a plate, Travis flipped slices of summer squash and zucchini.  Josie appeared at his elbow.

"Mmm...that smells great," she said.  "I'm starving."

He smacked playfully at her hands when she snatched one of the raw slices.  "You can wait."

She nibbled on the edge of her zucchini and winked at him.  "When I’m this hungry...I’ll deal with a few bruised knuckles.”

“Hungry, huh?” he asked, removing all the food from the grill and closing the lid.  “Can I satisfy that hunger with a kiss?”

“Dessert before the main course,” she replied, moving closer to him.  “Every woman’s dream.”  She touched her lips to his cheek, gently and shyly and unlike any kiss she’d ever given him, and he frowned slightly as she backed away.

“That was...different,” he said.  

She gave him a wry smile as she rolled her eyes.  A thumb pointing behind her, she said, “Tristan can see us through the window.”

And over Josie’s shoulder, he saw his son washing his hands at the kitchen sink, using the tall step stool to help him reach, and Travis glanced back down at Josie.  “You’re moderating your kisses because of Tristan?”

Her beautiful green

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