Chapter 2

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Colten's POV.

When I wake up from a long night of partying, my head is killing me and I feel as though my throat is on fire from all the shots I took. Only then would I have known to stop.

I hear a knock on the apartment door, and I'm only hoping that one of my roommates will open it. Though, knowing my friends, they would never step foot into the light when trying to nurse a hang over.

We got out for two weeks yesterday, for thanksgiving break, that's why everyone was partying it up last night.

I don't plan on going back home for the holidays, only staying here to party and study for midterms that will becoming a month or so after.

I only ever go home unless it's Christmas or someone dies. I'd rather not make the trip back to Michigan. That's all the way across the country and its either a really expensive plane ticket or a very long car ride. I don't like either options.

The door sounds again, but I'm not getting out of the dark sanctuary known as my bedroom.

"Colten! Someone's here for you!" I hear Tony call for me from the living room. Knowing that it may be some blonde bimbo trying to hook up with me, I stay planted inside my woolen bed sheets. "Colten!"

Man, he's really not giving up.

Groaning I kick the sheets off my legs and stalk out of bed. I rub the sleep from my eyes and open the door to my room and am met with the high intensity of the morning sun streaming in.

"Fuck," I curse as I run into the corner of the wall, stubbing my toe and banging my forehead.

"Colten, you okay?" Tony calls out. I take a deep breath and try not to focus on the pain in my foot and head out to the living room.

I'm greeted at the door with someone I never, ever expected to see.

I rub my eyes again, but no, Jackson is still standing in my threshold with a suitcase beside him and a backpack on his back.

"Jackson?" I question, maybe I'm dreaming. Why exactly would he be in my apartment, in California? Shouldn't he be in Seattle right now?

Jackson and I never did rekindle that friendship we once had, mostly having to do with me dating his sister, but that's history and even then we're on good terms.

"Yeah, nice to see you too, buddy," he grins and slaps my shoulder before passing me and into my kitchen. I blink a few times and then walk behind him.

"Coffee?" I ask. Why did I just ask that? How cliche?

"Nah, I don't drink coffee," he says and sits down at one of the bar stools.

"Right," I take in a deep breath, tension was building up and I am trying to find a way to ask him why exactly he's here.

"Your probably wondering why I'm here," he states, sitting back against the chair and draping his arm over the back of another.

"Yea, that would be good," I say.

"Well, I was just heading back home to Nikki and Brit for thanksgiving," he starts off. That's doesn't even make sense. Why would he come to California, Michigan is the complete opposite way? He's still dating Brittni too, damn.

"I don't understand, Michigan is the other way."

"I know, but I talked to your mom the last time I was there," and their it is. I shake my head but he continues anyways "she wants you to come back, Colten, she says you only visit once a year. I think it would be good for you to come back."

"Jackson, you know I can't. I can't go back their, I nearly escaped it last time," I try to pursued him, referring back to my last visit.

My mom wanted to spend Christmas and Christmas Eve with Jackson and Nikki. The thing is, I haven't seen Nikki since two years ago, at prom. I can't even fathom how I would react to seeing her again. It hurts to much, she was my first love and I let her slip right through my fingers. Luckily, I got my mom to just stick with the plans we had.

"It's been two years, Colten," he sighs and rubs his hands up and down his face. "I know what you went through, I know what she went through, but you need to put it in the past."

Can I even do that? Can I see her and not regain the feelings I've tried so hard to keep away, come out again? To know that she could possibly have a boyfriend, it's just too hard. I wouldn't be able to do it.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, that I'm whipped and you know what? Their totally right. I am. After two years of not having her I still love her, that's why it's so hard to see her.

She was fifteen when I left, she's seventeen now, she won't be the same and that's what I'm worried about. That she won't be the same girl I feel in love with.

"It's easier said than done, Jackson," I sigh, "you don't understand, I've only ever wanted to make her happy, I failed. I can't go back, I just can't."

"What about your family, Colten. Surely you couldn't have forgotten about them, they miss you, and even though you won't admit it, I know you and I know it's true."

"And what happens when I go back, I go back and see her happy with another guy? I don't think so, Jackson, I'll be broken all over again."

He doesn't understand because he didn't have to break up with Brittni, they see each other as much as they possibly can.

"I do understand, how do you think I felt when I had to be their with Nikki? When I had to stand their and let her throw up everything that she would put in her mouth? Or when she would cry when she would look at that stupid stuffed animal that you won her at your first date at the fair? Or having to see her walking like a zombie everyday because she couldn't sleep? I had to see it all, Colten. I didn't see you, but I know it might be something similar."

It was. I couldn't watch certain shows because they would remind me too much of Nikki, i couldn't eat or sleep. I was a mess, I didn't leave the house for a whole month straight. That's when I turned to alcohol, going to party's every night and coming back early morning with a killing headache. I've been better with alcohol since, I only go to parties ever so often now.

"So what are you saying, then? I go back to Michigan and what's their for me? My mom? Yea, some holiday," I scoff and run my hands through my messy hair.

"You have Brit and I, you have Nikki also." I took my eyes. "Look, I know that that's not what you want to hear, but think about it. No matter what you'll always have that connection. You just have to learn what to do with it."

I ponder on the thought. Sure it would be nice to see my mom again, knowing my dad probably won't be there, and I do have Jackson. I just worry, I'll have to see Nikki at some point during my visit, then what? Will we go back to the same pattern? Will she be mad that I'm there? Or will she be happy? Most likely not the latter.

"Listen, all I'm saying is your mom really misses you. She understands that your still uneasy about going back there. Just think about it, I'm leaving tomorrow," he says. And with that he heads to the door.

"Where are you staying?" I ask when he turns to open the door.

"Holiday Inn, down the road, think about it, Colt," he smiles lightly and shuts the door behind him.

What should I do? Go back to the girl that broke my heart? Or stay here with my friends that are more of a family than my mom is? It's a lot to think about. Only over a drink.

Can't always get rid of old habits.

Second chapter!! Woohoo!! I'm so happy that you guys are reading and hopefully you liked the first chapter. Thank you for your support.

Take a look at my other books while your at it. I know, I keep starting books and their no were near finished, but they will be.

Enjoy.

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