Of Secrets and Confidence

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I entered his home to find his mom waiting for me with a smile and a pooja thali to welcome me.

"Vikram hold her hand and bring my new daughter inside the house"

I knew he was going to balantly refuse to do so but I was surprised when he held my hand. A surge of electricity passed through me, he looked at me confused. He felt the same!

See baby, we belong together. You need to believe me.

We stepped further into the house. The silence defining the haste of this marriage, I never heard of a wedding home this silent.

He left my hand and suddenly I felt worthless as the warmness left. He went upstairs to his room and I just stood fixed to my place unsure about what to do.

I think his mom understood my condition. She gave a sympathetic look.

"Dear come with me. Let's go eat something"

We went into the kitchen and I sat on the counter. I managed to do so after several attempts. Doing stuff while wearing a sari was the most difficult thing to so. She looked into the fridge and brought two tubs of ice cream. Chocolate ice cream.

My mother in law was my new favorite person.

She passed me the spoon and sat besides me. I wonder how she managed to do so in a hefty sari.

"I eat ice cream when I am unsure about what to do" She says dipping her spoon in her ice cream.

I dip my spoon into the ice cream and put it in my mouth. It's choco chip. My favorite.

"Your Kaki, told me that you like chocochip, I thought I might bring it to make you feel comfortable" She said smiling at me.

"Thank you aunty. That was so sweet of you. I am happy you did that"

"Of course, I would do that. You are my new daughter. And quit calling me Aunty from now on. Call me mom" She said cupping my right cheek and pulling it as if I was five.

I laughed and agreed to it.

We continued eating our ice cream. Vikram was a no show. I was confused whether he was holed up in his office or bedroom.

I looked at his mom. She had crease on her forehead as if thinking hard about something. I hope she was not doubting me and thinking about reasons why we married so early. She knew something was wrong but had no idea about the deal or what happened at terrace. I literally hope she dosen't find out.

"Aun.. Mom is something wrong" I had to know.

"Lila, dear can I please trust you?"

"Yes. Is everything alright?"

"Now that you are family, it's time you know the secrets"

Hope they are not criminals. Hope they are not fugitives. Hope they are werewolves. What? I love werewolves stories and I know that they exist.

"After Vikram's dad died" She sniffed and bowed her head, "We left this country and went to Texas to live with my brother. He was the one who suggested that we move there. Change of scenery will be good for me and Vikram"

Oh! I didn't know what to say. She understood that and continued talking.

"We moved there and had a quiet couple of months. Then my brother's wife started to get irritated by us. She started picking up fights with me, scolding Vikram for no reason. My brother acted as buffer but I knew it wouldn't last so I started looking for jobs. I started working as nanny"

The women sitting front of me was stronger than I imagined. Losing a husband, having a kid. Living in another country. Damn.

"It was when Vikram was 15 that I started working for a wealthy family. Walter Hastings needed help to look after his kids, Scott and Carol who were 13 at that time. His wife was least interested in their kids and used Walter's money to party around the world. I loved Scott and Carol as much as I loved Vikram. I became their mother, one they never had. I never looked at them like a job. Scott worshiped Vikram, followed him everywhere and Carol, she was a princess" She smiled at the memory.

"It was summer, two years after I started working with Hastings that, Walter saw pictures of his wife cheating on him with another person. It broke him. He loved his wife dearly no matter how poor he treated him. He divorced her. Walter was my only friend then. I consoled him and a year later we started dating"

"Ohh" was my only reply. I couldn't think of anything else.

"Lila" She held my hands and squeezed them,"I am now Rajini Hastings"

Of course she deserved happiness. She found it in her husband. I don't care that she remarried. But I knew where she came from. If anyone here knew that she married again, that too a non Indian, it would be frowned upon.

I smiled with all sincerity,"I am happy that you found happiness"

She looked at me in shock and then smiled again. It was the longest 10 minutes that I saw without a smile and I was glad that I could bring that back.

"I was not expecting you to be this good about it. I was expecting a different reaction"

"I would never judge you for being happy"

"I am so glad that my son found you. I know there is something sour between you two but don't give up on my son. He may be stubborn but he will come around eventually"

I hope so too. We threw our tubs in the dustbin and walked out of the room.

Mom turned around and said,"If you feel lonely do come in my room, we will watch a movie. Preferably one with Channing Tatum in it" She winked at me.

It was Official. I had the coolest Mother In Law ever.

**********

I knew it was not going to be Mills and Boon or even 50 shades of grey. It was going to be nothing, nada. I was sitting in Vikram's room for over an hour and there was no sign of him. I was confused if I was supposed to even be in here. Of course I was. I was his wife and whether he believed it or not this room was mine too.

I was so tired and wanted to sleep but I wasn't sure if I should sleep on the bed or sofa. I changed into my minion pyjamas and some baggy old tshirt and jumped onto the bed. If he wants he can sleep on the sofa.

I knew what to expect on the night. Mills and Boones and some not so innocent movies taught me well. I also knew that men were always thinking about it. Then why was he avoiding him. Was I not attractive enough or was he thinking that I still had feelings for Vihaan.

This was all so fucked up.

I got up and went to his office. He was sitting there with what felt like thousand of files and papers around him. So much that I could barely see him behind them.

"I was waiting for you" I said breaking the silence. He looked up at me with his neutral face but I knew he was fighting some feeling. I was not sure which one.

"Go to sleep. I will be late" He said with a monotone.

"But it's our wedding night" I blushed deep red.

"Hmm. I have to work" He said not looking at me. His palms curled up into his fist.

"You can't ignore me forever"

"Trust me I don't want to" He got up from his chair.

"Then don't. Talk to me. Touch me" I sounded desperate but I didn't care. I wanted him.

He strided towards me, my breath heavy seeing this beautiful creature in front of me. He was a specimen carved for my eyes.

He closed the distance and whispered in my ears, "I want to do more than just touch you. I want you to be mine. I want to make you mine. I need ward off that bastards aura from you but I still need to punish you, hurt you for lying to me. For making fun of me, for laughing at me."

"I don't have any history with Vihaan. It was all a lie" My voice was shaky. Close proximity from Vikram did that to me.

"I don't know. I don't care now. You didn't defend yourself about that fake priest things. How can I believe you"

I leaned forwards now our lips touching slightly. I wanted them on mine.

"Please"

"I will princess, in sweet time. I will show the lengths of pleasure that you never knew existed. I will devour you with all my power but first I need you to suffer. I need you to do something."

"What?" I backed a little and looked him in the eyes.

"You need to sign the deal and live each moment counting days before I disappeare from your life"

That cleared my head. I wanted him with a passion. I wanted him even forever not just for a year.

"No" I said.

He moved away from me facing the window.

"Then you cannot have me"

"I will make you want me" I said with determination.

"I have a very good control Lila"

"Don't be so confident husband. You are going to lose it and soon"

I said leaving the room

*****

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