♡You Ruined Me♡

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"I don't hate that you call the love, "Bullshit" When you were drunk that night. I don't hate how much I love you. I don't hate that I cry, and I don't know why."

Chapter Theme Song: 'Hate You' by Ingrid Michaelson.

💗💌💞💕💓**💝

Chelsy

I was drinking, I was dancing all over Brad and I was acting like a damn lunatic.

Maybe if Vicky wasn't gone for the weekend I would be fine, my thoughts would be stable and I wouldn't be acting so out of character.

Brad glared at me with amazement and amusement every ten seconds because I was not the Chelsy he knew.

Whose fault was it? Nathan.

"I want another beer!" I said to Brad above the loud music, pushing past him off the dance floor, but he just pulled my arm and tugged me back in place. "No, no more drinking, although...I do like this Chelsy better," and he chuckled.

The house was huge, and kids were at every single corner, dancing and laughing. It was crazy but deep down I wasn't happy.

I shook my palms and my head at the same time. "I am not drunk, really. I am fine."

I was a bit tipsy but my cognitive ability was still working.

Working enough to notice when a familiar figure walked into the room.

Nathan.

Why was he here?

Elizabeth, as usual was beside him and the alcohol made me suddenly feel like fly-kicking her. She was everywhere for christ's sake!

Here I was trying to forget the guy, but he not only followed me in my thoughts but also in reality.

How on earth would I cope now?

My eyes burned with tears and the alcohol made me feel so emotional.

This was not fair. He wasn't supposed to be here, this was supposed to be my medicine, my healing from him. Somehow, he just could not leave me alone, he just could not let me forget him.

I held my forehead, tears threatened to leave my eyes, and at that very moment Nathan's eyes spotted me in the crowd. His gaze stayed steady on me for a while, a guilty and remorseful expression on his face. It was quickly replaced with a look of displeasure when he noticed Brad was there with me, and his lips pressed together, forming a line as he clenched his jaw.

"You okay?" Brad asked, his brows furrowed.

I nodded, scrunching my face up. "My head hurts, take me upstairs, please?"

My head hurt but my heart hurt even more.

Brad gripped my hand and led me up the stairs to an empty room. My head was spinning the whole journey.

Alcohol was no joke.

I laid on the bed tiredly, and he sat at my side, attempting to pull the covers over me. But I sat up suddenly, "Brad..."

He looked at me. "Yeah..."

I wish the person here with me was Nathan instead of Brad.

Out of nowhere, I began to imagine his entrancing face on Brad's, his pink lips upturned in his cocky smirk. I looked away from the boy in front of me, inhaling deeply. Wow. I got it bad.

I was in way too deep.

"You alright, Chels?" Brad wondered, resting a hand on my shoulder, stroking me there.

I met his eyes, tears welling in mine. "Can you...can you have sex with me, please?"

Yeah. I must have lost it, right?

But honestly I wanted to forget Nathan and I figured taking this step with Brad would help me.

Maybe after all was said and done, my feelings for Brad would come back and I would forget about Nathan, right?

Brad narrowed his eyes. "What? Are you okay, Chels? Do you mean that?" He scooted closer to me.

I nodded sourly. "Yeah. I am fine. I just feel it is the right time now, for us to take that step..."

Brad didn't question it. He must have been desperate because without a word, he just came over to me and began kissing my neck. I reclined my back against the pillows and he hovered over me as he continued his hungry kisses along my skin. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, sighing through my lips. He trailed his cold hands on my legs.

It was uncomfortable and discomforting but if I just bore it, I would forget Nathan, right?

Wrong.

I thought I could do this but while Brad's lips were on my neckline all I could see was Nathan.

All I could think about was how his touch felt different and how I wished he was the one with me here and now.

With each grope, he was the only person on my mind. As soon as Brad was about to trail his hand under my dress, I decided I couldn't do it. I could not have sex with Brad.

I needed him to stop.

"Brad, no, please stop."

As soon as the words left my lips, the door to the room kicked open forcefully, causing us both to look in its direction in surprise. I gasped when I saw Nathan, walking in angrily. Fire was in his eyes, and it scared me as I sat up onto my elbows.

Without a word, he rose his foot and kicked Brad away from me with force.

I covered my mouth in shock as Brad ricocheted off the bed and on the ground, hitting his head on the nightstand.

Woah.

Nathan gripped my hand and pulled me up. "Come here."

"Nathan—"

He dragged me out of the room and down the stairs, the music from the party loud, all the while I was hitting his hand and telling him to let me go but he didn't, he just continued his journey until we were in the backyard.

Finally he let me go, and I clutched my wrist that slightly hurt from me pulling at his hold too much.

He fists a tree nearby and turned to me, his expression scary and angry. "What the hell are you doing?! Is it so easy for you to just give yourself to someone?!"

I scoffed at how unbelievable he was.

Here he was, acting like he cared about me.

"Leave me alone, Nathan, I do what I want with who I want! Why do you care?! You don't care about me. Nothing I do fazes you!"

He ran a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath. "So you're just going to give yourself like that to him?! Are you going to just ruin yourself like that?!"

"I am already ruined!"

Nathan's gaze softened at that statement, and he looked at me speechlessly. "Wh-What?"

"You ruined me!"

Tears were now falling from my eyes.

He took a step forward. "Chels, What do you mean..."

"You kissed me...you showed me things and feelings no one else ever had and then you ditched me, Nathan!"

He took a deep breath. His gaze was filled with guilt and sympathy. "Chels, you know what we did was practice. I didn't know-"

"It wasn't practice for me Nathan, I felt it. I felt everything," I sucked in a breath, "And it fucking hurts, okay?"

"Chels, I-I told you not to fall for me after the kiss. Because I know...I know this can't work if we were to fall for each other. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Why can't we work...?" I softly asked. "I like you, Nathan."

My confession struck him hard and he looked at me in awe and silence, as if he was taking a moment to process what I just said. He ran a hand over his face and his eyes looked limpid. "Chels...Chels listen, you don't like me, okay? You're young, you will see plenty of other guys in the future and this will just be a phase. You feel this way now because of what we did but it won't last forever. What your feeling will pass. I promise you that we—"

"Don't say that to me, Nathan. I know what I am feeling. I like you and you know you felt something with me too."

He sighed and looked away, a hurt expression all over his face but he didn't say anything.

I reached for his hand. "Just please don't hurt me."

"Chels, I can't, okay?" He stepped back and my heart broke, the little string that it was left hanging by had now popped. "I can't do this. I just can't, please."

Silent tears fell down my cheeks. "Do you even like me?"

He didn't answer. He just looked away from my eyes.

I swallowed and nodded. "Fine. Then don't involve yourself in whatever the hell I do."

"Chels, wait!"

I turned away and walked off to go home, crying and not looking back but secretly hoping he would come after me.

He didn't.

~

P.S: This book is in its entirety on my Patreon. Just saying...
:) ❤️❤️♡♡


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