Hi everyone.

While I was writing this book, I went through the worst experiences of my life. And Sam the Co author did too.

Sam was my friend before I even posted the first chapter. I drew a lot of inspiration from his story from the start. But he refused to be identified even with a pseudonym when I first published. We struggled together through this story with many aspects of our identity.

I lost my brother in real life in April 2017. He'd been sick for a while but his death was still unexpected for me. As turbulent as our relationship had been, it hurt so much to lose him. I could barely think when it happened. Even now, I go days at a time feeling lost and hopeless. The worst part is I have what he had, and it's now I realize how much he helped me cope. I took a break from life in general, so the book suffered.

Sam was also going through a lot in 2017. He had emigrated from his country to England in 2009. (That's when we met.) When he got there, he hoped he could build a fulfilling life as an openly gay man. His family found out. Even with him being so far away, they found ways to torture and control him. In January 2017, it came to a head and he was forced move in with his uncle. He's been forced back into the closet, and everything he does is being scrutinized. He was too terrified to even send me what he wrote when that happened.

Somehow, we rallied round our hurt and managed to start the book again. Writing and publishing has been a way to deal with the real "Dallas" in our lives. We are both present in many of the characters. And to be able to share that has been healing. We can only thank you for giving us that strength and control over what plagues us every day.

Of course, our reader base is quite small, but we've received massive encouragement from you guys. Messages telling us we're great and we should keep going; telling us Declan is too good for Micah and Nate sucks; telling us Dallas is gross! Seems ridiculous but even those seemingly trivial conversations mean so much. Thanks so much for all that. It means more than can be expressed.

We both see now that fear robbed us of the opportunity to have much more support from our readers. People who may also be experiencing something similar, or may have gone through something else, or just want to help. So for the next book, we'll try to be a bit more open, let everyone in a bit.

And we're starting now! We've hinted at a relationship between Carter and Nate. This was because Carter was originally introduced as someone struggling with his sexual identity, like Sam. While Nate is the opposite and is confident and comfortable in his sexuality.

But we'll throw it out to the room. Is that something you would want to read? Or is this story in need of retiring? Should we move the bloody hell on? Would you prefer a new set of unrelated characters?

Please let us know in comments or in private messages. We respond to both. Thank you!

Kisses and hugs,

Jasmine and Sam.