I think this is the longest time I've ever died for, I'm so sorry. My family has been through some shit, and I've just been trying to finish up my senior year and all that. I will be updating regularly during the summer :) love ya!!!

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Holy mother fucker jesus christ, son of satan, spray me with holy water, and shove a bluetooth speaker up my vagina.

I'm pregnant. There's a  baby inside of me.

I sobbed into my sleeve, joy and nervousness filling my heart as I curled myself into a ball, clutching the positive pregnancy test in my palm like it was a goddamn holy crucifix.

I heard Sinister bursting into the room, his eyes clashed with mine as his expression went from intense to worried.

"Calla..." He said softly, walking slowly towards me, "Are you okay?"

I said nothing, tears pouring down my face as I smiled softly, my eyes burning with joy as I trembled. I held out my hand, showing him the positive pregnancy test

""Calla w-what is i-" He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes followed the white device in my hands.

"I'm pregnant." I stated through a small sob, a smile forming over my lips.

His chiseled face went pale with shock, his icy eyes widening, and he froze.

Please don't be mad, please don't be mad, please god just be happy. I prayed under my  breath, my body shaking.

I wanted him to be happy more than anything. I had never thought about him being a father, or even me being a mother. We were married, sure. But being parents? It never seemed like something that would have happened to us.

He stumbled a bit, his face still morphed with complete and utter shock, before he collapsed in front of me, and wrapped me into a hug, his arms wrapping tight around me, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck.  I felt him trembling, and I wasn't sure if it was from anger or joy. I took in a breath of his colonge, trying to calm myself down as my eyes continued to water.

"A-Are you h-happy?" I stuttered, feeling my eyes burn as fresh tears poured down my face as I trembled with fear and joy.

Sinister pulled back from me, his eyes were red with almost-tears, his icy blue eyes wide as he stared at me, his eyes glancing down to my stomach.

He smiled slightly, his large, tattooed hand drifting down until it rested on my belly, the warmth of his fingers brought chills up my spine.

"Calla, of course I'm happy." He whispered, engulfing me into a massive bear hug, his muscular arms tight and protective around my small frame.

We stayed like that for awhile, and I felt a wave of blessed relief flow out of me, my chest heaving with thankfulness as he held me tight in his arms.

"I'm going to be a mom..." I sobbed into his arms, holding my stomach tightly.

My breathing turned sharp as I felt my heart continue to race,

"Yes..." he smiled nervously.

My smile suddenly fell, and I felt my heart drop a little.

Sinister frowned, "What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm going to be a terrible mother." I deadpanned.

Sinister's eyes widened, "What? No. Cal, don't say that, you're going to be a terrific mother."

My eyes began to water again as I began to actually think through what was happening. And what me being a mother would actually be like.

I took my head, my fingers brushing across the fabric over my belly, before  meeting at my face as I began to sob in a complete, and utter panic.

Sinister gripped both my wrists in his hands as he stared at me, "Calla, why would you say you'd be a bad mother?"

I felt another sob ripple through me, "B-Because, I thought fucking Jujutsu was a place in fucking Egypt, I'm a certified alcoholic, I thought AA Meetings were about double A Batteries, I thought all milk came from boobs and not cows, every time I see a fucking flight attendant on a plane I tell them "Thank you for serving our Country" and and and--"

I sobbed.

"And what Calla?" Sinister's eyes were serious.

"And sometimes, I like to bark at fucking cars. Okay, Sinister? Do you understand now?"

He smiled a little, a dark chuckle rumbling from deep inside his chest, he released my wrists, and patted me on my head in a humorous, slightly sympathetic way.

I wiped a tear from my cheek, "Why are you laughing?" I pouted.

He smiled, his bleach white teeth glittering, "Because, those aren't reasons why you'd be a bad mother, Cal. Those are just a few reasons why I love you."

I sniffed, "You love me because I bark at cars?"

He grinned, "Guilty.."

I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes as I tried to calm myself down. Trying my best to clear my head, and take a little bit of crazy out of my skull, but only for a little.

"Okay..." I shuddered, "Okay, I'm done being crazy for a sec. Let's just talk like normal people for a second."

He frowned a little, his dark brows furrowing before he motioned for me to continue my thought.

"We can't bring a baby into this world Sinister- our world...it's not safe. This baby deserves to be safe, to have a fresh start, and to love and be loved. The second it opens its little eyes, it becomes property of the Russian Mafia--"

My eyes watered as I met Sinisters gaze

"It becomes a monster."

His face went still as he chewed on what I said, his eyes lowered to the ground, his fists clenching and unflinching.

"Calla, this world isn't so bad..." He said softly, but I could taste the apprehension in his words, it stung my body like poison.

"It is, Sinister. You know that. Afanas had to literally kill himself in order to have a family...and look at him now, he's happy."

Sinisters ringed fingers held my hands in his, the rough callouses on his hands brushed my skin.

"He's a ghost, Cal. There's a big difference between him and I that I think you're forgetting. Afanas was in the family, but Cal I am the family. I own the Russian Mafia. It's complicated, and it's not something I can just leave."

My eyes watered, "This baby will be dammed then. So don't act like you're fucking happy that I'm pregnant. The only reason you're happy is because you have a little heir to sit on your bloodied throne."

He ripped his hand away from mine, his eyes grew dark as he glared at me.

"Don't fucking say that, Calla. I want to have this baby, not just for bloodline, but to have a family. To start a family, with you...We can protect our baby here."

I bit back a sob, pulling my sleeves over my hands and clenching my body together, trying to hold together every single tear that threatened to pour out of me. I felt my body shaking with sadness and rage and grief.

"It's not our job to toughen up our children to face a cruel and heartless world, Sinister. It's our job to raise children who will make this world a little less cruel...and a little less heartless. Sinister, your father never gave you a chance. He took your childhood away and made you a killer, he took away friends, school dances, parties...he took away everything from you. Don't be the same man you father was, give this child the thing you never had...

"Give our baby a chance."

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Xx

Aleksei

Instagram @alekseixxwattpad