38 - Visiting

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Sleep has never been as easy and comfortable like it is now. At least, the last time I remember sleeping this well was way before my dad had left.

"Come on, Lu-lu. It's time to go."

For the first time, Dylan is the energized one out of the two. I didn't even notice him slipping out of bed. If he made any kind of sounds, I didn't hear.

That's how tired and spend I was after everything that had happened.

"I'm up, I'm up," I mutter with my face hidden in the pillow.

Just as I muster the courage to raise my head, a warm hand starts massaging it and I can't help but purr at the feeling. If he thought this would make me want to get up, it only makes me want to snuggle in some more.

I want to go check on my mom but I am afraid.

This is not the first time she's overdosed, I've been using my heart on my sleeve for long enough. Waiting on the day that I'll be too late, that I won't be able to help her

But last night, Liam gave me hope with the rehab talk. Will it finally be enough for her to realise that we need this? That she needs this?

However, with hope comes fear. Fear that once again, I won't be enough for her to take this step.

"Right," I find the courage to straighten up and face the world. "Let's go."

"That's my girl," Dylan smiles.

It doesn't really reach his eyes and for a second it makes my own falter.

But with everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours, I can't blame him. Worrying takes a toll on people, I of all should know it. That's why I dismiss his fidgety behaviour and nervous glances throughout the entire morning, from the moment I start getting ready, to the moment we step into the hospital.

Once in the hospital, with Liam's influence we are allowed to visit my mom together when, in reality, only one person at a time could be present. But I couldn't do it without Dylan being there, and Liam is the key person in helping me convince my mom to do the treatment.

"I'm here," Dylan whispers to my ear the moment we stop in front of her bedroom's door. "I'll always be here." 

The moment I open the door, I am met with barely any colour. All around us, the entire bedroom is white. White walls and linoleum floor, white bed and sheets cover her body. If it weren't for the soft raising of her chest, it'd look like she was dead. The only speck of colour in front of me is her pale skin and dark brown hair - the one I inherited.

I've always hated hospitals.

The bitter scent of antiseptic and the artificial undertones left by the industrial cleaners fell my nostrils, making me want to gag. But I push through it, taking a few steps in her direction.

The drugs had already taken a toll on her figure, making her look older than she is, but here, in this hospital bed, covered in wires and connected to a machine, she looks worse. Instead of looking five years older, she looks not only ten or fifteen, but worse, she looks weak. Frail.

"She was really lucky," the Doctor says by the entrance. " A few minutes later and we might have not been able to save her." 

I nod weakly and with a sympathetic smile, he turns and leaves us be.

"Mom?" I whisper, trying not to startle her sleeping form.

"Aiden?" She mutters, making me sigh.

Always the same. In her drunken stupors or during the worse highs, she'd always call for him. Not Dean and, especially, not me but him. Always him. 

Even if he never deserved it. Or us.

An unpleasant twist in my chest spreads the anxiety I have already been feeling. I love and hate her all the same. She's an awful mom but she's the only one I've had and as much of a bad person she might be I can't turn my back and unlove her.

"Mom, it's me, Luna."

Her eyes flutter open and zero in on me. 

I wish I could say I saw relief in her eyes when she looked at me, that she uttered my name and ushered me to come closer to her. But it doesn't happen. She keeps a stoic face as she looks at me, unfazed that my eyes are shiny with threatening tears and my trembling hands are itchy to hold hers.

But I don't move, knowing she'd shake me off if I tried.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Ignoring me, she looks around the room until her eyes settle on the two male figures behind me, by the door.

"Who are you?" she asks with a hoarse voice.

"Mum, this is Dylan, my boyfriend, and his father, Liam. He is a Doctor." 

"Why are they here?" 

For the first time since she opened her eyes, she looks and speaks directly at me.

"Uhm, do you remember what happened? Why are you here?" I press.

She's often evasive about why she ends up here, wanting to sign the discharge papers and go back to her normal life. Not this time, I won't let her just brush it under the rug once again.

Avoiding me again, she turns her attention back to them, "You can leave." 

"Mum," I call once again, this time around my voice tone slightly higher and borderline desperate.

 Her face turns away from me, refusing to talk about whatever it is while Dylan and Liam are present.

Fucking hell, as if things haven't been going badly enough.

With a shaky breath, I slump against my chair and look back at Dylan. I know he has stayed next to his father and kept the distance to give me and my mum some sort of privacy feeling but I'd rather have him here. Next to me, holding me and giving me the strength I only seem to gather when he's around. However, the sight of him, tapping feet and several nervous glances towards the door makes me frown.

"What's wrong?" 

At the sound of my words, Dylan's face turns to me and his eyes widen with the realization that I just spoke to him. Liam elbows him when he keeps choking on his own words.

This is weird. The only other time I've seen him this flustered and awkward was when we met. 

"Luna has been restless with worry, Lina." Liam's soft voice brings my mum's attention. 

"That's what she gets for being the reason I'm here," she spits the accusation at me, even if talking to him.

I can't help but wince and bow my head in shame. 

"You ca-"

"Is that so?" Liam cuts Dylan off. "How old was she when you started using?" 

"Who says I do?" 

"Well, several rashes and bruises in your arms, and hands, the redness in and around your eyes, the frail-looking body and the tremors, I'd say so." 

When she looks away and doesn't answer, he continues, "How old was she?"

"Sixteen," I answer for her.

"Did she hand them to you? Force you to take them?"

I snap my head up at the speed of lightning. Could he seriously be implying that?

"Did Luna physically hand the drugs to you and tell you to take them?" Liam repeats with an assertive tone this time around.

"No." Her response's a weak whisper.

"Then how could you even blame  your child for something that you took upon yourself?" 

"It's none of your business!" Finally, her voice raises a notch, showing how much of a sore spot Liam has touched.

The beep of the machine speeds up, showing how riled up she's getting. I go to try and calm her down and comfort her but stop myself halfway through. She wouldn't even want me to touch her. She never does.

" Except, that it is," he counters. " Luna's my son's girlfriend. If she's hurting, he'll hurt too and I can't have that. So, it's my job to protect her too. Especially if you're not doing it when you should." 

Faster.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"Mum, they found a clinic-"

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"NO!" She yells.

"Your daughter loves you and she's just trying to help you." Liam's wise words are like foreign words to my mom.

The face she makes when she looks at him is pure anger.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

 "She's the reason he left. She's the reason I am like this."

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"You can't possibly believe that," Liam offers.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"Mum, please calm down. You have to be calm and rest some more. We're just trying to help-"

"NO!"

"Lina," Liam grits his teeth only to be cut off by my mom.

" You were also trying to help when you made him leave and look at where we are now!"

As always, I am the reason everything happened. 

I am the one to blame.

"It's a good treatment, you'd have all the help you need an-"

"Do I have to repeat myself? I'd rather die than having to survive a miserable life sober and putting up with your sorry ass!"

She can't mean it. 

Can she?

I have been doing everything I can, trying to keep us afloat... Trying to take care of her within the boundaries she'd defined. I thought that the fact that she never shunned me out of her life before was because deep down, she still loved me.

Has she really been using me only for the money?

Does she hate me that much? Am I such a big burden?

"But..."

Strong arms wrap around me but I don't really register them. The warmth that engulfs my body does nothing to warm the way my heart is freezing.

A mother's rejection stings much deeper than any other.

"Not to mention we don't have the money for that." 

"It's a free program." 

All faces turn to Liam's the moment he utters those words.

"What? That wasn't mentioned last night." 

"It's a close friend of mine. He is decided to help you guys and I'd advise you to not throw out this chance. It's a one of a time kind of thing."

"The Doctor is right," a gruff and deep familiar voice sounds.

One I'd thought I would never have to hear never again in my life.

As his tall and strong figure steps into the bedroom, my eyes glance at Dylan's face. The expectancy - no, the hope - that he'd be as surprised as I am, dies down when I notice his guilty expression.

Motherfucker.

His eyes are cast downwards, not even able to meet mine and I scoff at it.

Fucking pussy.

"A-Aiden," my mum stutters in a daze as she tries to sit up on her bed.

"I think it's time we all talk," Aiden fucking Ablesboom says. "Properly."

⛓️ A u t h o r ' s  N o t e ⛓️

Guys, I am facing a big problem. My works - and of other writers probably - have been stolen by this kind of mirror website. It is often charged with malware and profits off shady ad revenue while displaying works for free - without the author's permission.

I reported it already but to be honest, the support from other authors was minimal, just a few friends who were sensitized about the situation and others(strangers), who are good people, have shared it.

So, if my report isn't enough - which probably will happen-, my Plan B will be transferring my works to Inkitt. I already have a few there but not all. Inkitt is as safe as Wattpad but it seems to not suffer AS much as Wattpad with mirror websites. This is the only free solution I get for my readers so I wanted to ask.

Are you willing to read my books (this one included) on Inkitt?

If yes, comment here ->

If no, comment here ->

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