chapter 35 •

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Chapter thirty-five: "can't really tell you"

I am actually upset with myself that I went through all of that for a Hey

A bang erupts from my window, and I jolt from my bed.

What the hell was that?!

I casually walk to my window even though my mind is racing and my heart is pounding out of my chest.

Is this when I am going to die? Oh god. I have not done everything I wanted to do. Thinking about.. what even do I want to do?

I have no life.

I pull my curtains back and see Grayson. I sigh. He almost gave me a freaking heart attack.

I pull the window open and deadpan him, and he smiles sheepishly

"What the hell, dude?!"

"Sorry, just returning the favor" he says referring to when I threw a book at his window. Ha, good times

"What do you want?" I ask getting to the point

"Nothing" he shrugs and I roll my eyes and start closing the window before he shouts for me to stop

"What?" I ask impatient

"Nothing, just, uh, I'm sorry" he apologizes, and I raise my brow

"Yeah, i bet you are" I say sarcastically

"No, I really am. Can things just get back to normal?" He pleads.

Oh please! He expects me to just let it go? He really hurt me, and now he is just acting like I can put it in the past? Hell no.

"Don't think so" I say and he groans

"Why not?" He drags out

"Because, I do not want to" I lie. Of course I miss him. Hell, I admitted I liked him about a week ago.

"Why are you being so fucking stubborn?" I roll my eyes. Who would not be?

"Whatever, if you want things to get back to normal you have to earn it" I say confidently and he sighs

"Fine" he agrees. Wait, really?

"Seriously?"

"Yes, i'm really sorry, Anna Nicole" he says seriously before a smile breaks out on his face and one follows on mine.

"You are so stupid" I joke and he laughs

"I know" he says and I nod in agreement.

"Wanna go somewhere?" He asks after awhile of silence. I look at him and nod. Why not?

"Okay, meet me outside?" I nod and get up from the windowsill and close my window. I walk down the stairs and grab a sweater. It is a little chilly.

My mother and Gus still have not came home yet. Poor Gus.

I walk out the front door and Grayson is waiting on his bike in front of my house.

"Where are we going?" I ask him when I get on his bike.

"You'll see" he says and I huff. He hands me a helmet and I put it on and wrap my arms around his waist. I see him smile in the mirror before he takes off.

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"Why are we in the woods?" I ask and his smile falls a little before he brings a smile back onto his beautiful face

"You don't remember?" I start to rack my brain to think of things and I shake my head.

He huffs "Fine, you will remember soon enough"

We continue to walk until a small little house thing comes into view and I perk up

"Hey, it's the diner!" I exclaim and he nods and laughs

"Yeah, but what did I tell you? It isn't a diner. It's a shack" he corrects me, and I roll my eyes. It is literally a diner.

"Yeah, Yeah" I say and happily leave him and walk inside. The smell of burgers fill the air

I moan in delight. Suddenly there is a presence behind me. "Mhmm You know I could make you make that sound over and over again" Grayson whispers in my ear and I shiver. I turn around and he has a smirk on and I slap his shoulder.

"Grayson!" Nancy comes running out of the kitchen and hugs him

"You came back!" I like how she is acting like this is a romance movie where the main guy (Grayson) left on a quest and the main girl (Nancy) did not know if he would come back or not.

Why am I so weird?

"Oh, you brought the girl again" she wiggles her eyebrows at him and he rolls his eyes. His cheeks growing a soft pink. Awwww

"Nancy, por favor, detente" he speaks in Spanish. Damn, I forgot he likes to speak in Spanish with Nancy. I feel excluded and awkward. Once again, I really need how to learn how to speak Spanish.

"Bien" she says and he nods and scratches his neck awkwardly.

"Ustedes pueden sentarse aquí" she says. I think..

"Nancy, ingles" he says. Okay, Anna has left the chat. Bye.

"Oh yeah! Over here" she points to a table in the middle of the 'shack' by a window. I smile at her and she creepily smiles back and leads us to the table.

"¿Puedes bajar el tono?" Grayson asks but that just leads to another creepy smile. What the hell?

"Si, lo siento" she huffs and turns to me.

"What would you like?" She asks and smiles. Okay, so I am a little freaked out right now..

"Uhm can i get a cheese burger meal with just meat, cheese, lettuce snd mayo. Oh and a sweet tea?" I ask and she happily nods and looks at Grayson.

"The usual?" She asks and he nods his head, and she nods and leaves

"So" He says

"So.. what were you both talking about?" I ask and he shrugs

"Nothing important" he says and I nod. I know that is a lie. Maybe he just does not want me to know.

"I really am sorry" he says out of nowhere. I nod

"Yeah, I know you are" a waiter comes and gives us our drinks. I say thanks and Grayson just nods irritated

"Do you forgive me? I'm sorry that I was an asshole, okay?" He says. That is the thing. I know he is. I just want to know why.

"Why?"

"Why what?" He asks confused

"Why did you... cut me off?" I ask and he shakes his head

"Can't really tell you" he says and I groan.

"Why not?" I say and slurp my tea trying not to get mad

"Because" I roll my eyes

"Tell me" I demand and he shakes his head

"Tell me or I will not forgive you" I say and panic flashes through his eyes. He open his mouth but the same waiter comes to give us our food Grayson sighs out of relief and i let out a irritated sigh and start to eat my food. He watches me for a second before he follows after me and starts to eat his.

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We both finish our food and get up to pay. Nancy comes and shakes her head at Grayson.

"On the house, you potato" she says, and I snort. They both look at me and my face turns into a light shade of pink, they both laugh

"No, I'll pay" he says and Nancy hits his head.

"When someone offers you free food, you accept it niño" she shakes her head at him, and he laugh.

"Yeah, whatever" he says and puts his wallet up. She holds her arms out and he shakes his head

"Not much of a hugger" he says and backs away. Nancy deadpans him. i scoff inwardly. I remember when the James came over to my house for dinner and I was forced to hug him, and I am pretty sure he enjoyed it.

"Well, it's a good thing I didn't ask, right?" She says and hugs him. He hugs her back and I stare at them in awe. Grayson looks so young right now as Nancy forces him to hug her. His face is crinkled as he hugs her back. I nearly laugh at his discomfort.

She lets go and looks over to me.

"Anna can I talk to you in private?" She asks and I nod hesitantly. Grayson shaking his head no to me but Nancy pulls me to the back room and looks at me in the eyes

"Thank you" She says and hugs me. I gladly accept her gesture and hug her back. But why is she thanking me?

"For what?" I ask and pull away and she deadpans me.

"Grayson hasn't came here in years! And now that he has met you he started bringing you, and I haven't seen him in forever! He used to come all the time with him and his sister. He hasn't came much after she passed." She says sadly, and I smile sadly

"Wait I though he moved here a few years ago" I say

"Well, he used to live a town away and the diner was close to his old house, but yes, he did move a couple years ago" she says. I knew this was a diner!

"Oh" I say and she smiles and hugs me again and whispers "thank you, mija" I smile and we both leave the back room and meet up with Grayson. He smiles at Nancy and takes my hand and we walk to his bike. My hand tingles with feelings that I have not felt in a while.

"What did she say?" He asks nervously. Why is he so nervous?

"Can not really tell you" I decide to take a page from the Grayson book. He glares at me, and I smile at him.

"Fine" he says and I laugh

"I want to show you something" he says and I nod as he walks away from me. I huff and run up to catch up with him.

We continue to walk in silence until he randomly stops, and I crash into his back.

"Ow" I say and rub my nose.

"Sorry" he says and walks away to sit down on a swing. Ooo swings. He flings his hand in the air telling me to come over next to him

"Sit" he demands and points to the swing beside him and I oblige.

Wow, Anna when did you turn into a dog?

"Why are we-" he cuts me off. "Shh look" he points ahead, and I am in awe. It is a beautiful view of the sunset.

" I used to come out here when we came to the shack" he says, and I decide against telling him that it is in fact a diner. Not a shack.

"It is really beautiful" I say, and he nods in agreement. He reaches down in his pocket and pulls out a black box

"Uhm, I know it's stupid but, uh, here" he hands puts the box in my hands. I eye it before I open it. I swear if it's an engagement ring..

My eyes widen as I take the necklace in my hands. At the end of the necklace is a small rectangle that has a semicolon and to the right of it says and so she goes on.

My eyes water, and I look up at him 

"Why did you get me this?" I ask

"Because, after I heard.. I don't know. I went home and did some research and that was the symbol for people getting over suicide-" I cut him off

"Yeah, but I did not stop myself before I did it. I failed, Adam found me before I could finish. I did not stop myself, so no i did not prevent myself from doing it" I say and get up from the swing and back away from it.

"Yeah, but you didn't try it again. You kept on going with your life. Have you ever thought about doing it again?" He asks, and I shake my head. He gets up from his swing and starts walking to me and I back up.

"Exactly, you had a bad moment in your life. You moved on and found great friends and they supported you and you didn't think about doing it again. You finding people who loved you prevented it." I look down with the necklace still in my hands, absorbing what he just said

"I guess so" I say, and he nods

"You know, if Adam didn't find you. You would have been.. dead" he says

"Yes. I know that. I was there" I say and laugh a little

"If he wouldn't have found you, we would have never met" he says and looks down. I walk up to him and tilt up his head by bringing my finger under his chin. His eyes are watering and a tear falls from his eye. My own begin to water. I take my hand and intertwine our hands together. He sits on the ground and brings me with him.

"Why are you crying?" I ask, and he shakes his head

"I'm not" he says

"Yes, you are" I say and disconnect our hands wipe his tear with my thumb.

He sniffs and looks at me in the eyes

"Turn the necklace around" I frown and turn the necklace over. The other side has words on it I tilt my head as I read the words

The good thing about this is that I met you, and I got to fall in love with you. I love you, Anna Nicole.

I feel myself stop breathing because I simply forgot how to.

I look over to him with teary eyes and he looks nervous.

"W-What?" I ask. I know stupid.

"I-i Love you" He says and my mouth opens a gape.

"Seriously?" I whisper, and he nods and lets out a shaky breathe

"I realized I was intrigued by you when I first met you in the hall when I bumped into you. I was an asshole, and you yelled back at me. No one did that. Ever. And I loved the way it felt when you yelled at me or got annoyed by me, so I kept on messing with you to annoy you just because I thought that annoying you was fun, but it's so much more. Oh, and that one time when you randomly got pissed at me. I was really...sad. I didn't know why I was really sad but pissed too. It was because I like you. And when you went to that party and stayed at my house I realized that I liked you after I fucked up and claimed that I have seen better which was a lie by the way. Oh, and to answer your question from before.. I pushed you away because I couldn't handle my feelings I had towards you, so me being my dumb self I pushed you away because I thought it was easier or some shit. But it wasn't I felt so bad, and I couldn't handle it. Because I was scared, I didn't, and still don't know how i am going to deal with this if you don't feel the same, I will probably dig myself a grave and hop into it and bury myself" he rambles and looks at me with wide eyes.

A smile finds its way into my face, and I pull him closer and kiss him.

He does not respond for a few seconds because I caught him off Guard but he quickly kisses me back and our lips move in sync. He pulls me closer and I get up to straddle him not breaking our kiss.

My body ignites with fireworks as I wrap my arms around his neck and move my hands into his hair and pull it. He groans and pulls me closer by the waist. He flips us over so I'm on the bottom and he's on the top. He tugs at my bottom lip asking for an entrance. I accept and open my mouth and his tongue slips in and we fight for dominance, but i falter and his tongue explores my mouth. I moan and in response he groans and pulls me even closer some how.

He breaks the kiss much to my dismay and moves to my jawline while I try to catch my breath he lightly kisses my jaw and moves down to my neck. He sucks gently on it and leaves a trail of kisses down my neck, he moves back to my lips and gently kisses them and places his forehead on mine.

"You have no clue how long I have waited to do that" he says breathlessly and suck in a deep breathe

Me too, Grayson.

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everyone was wondering how the words fit on the necklace and i included it on top but it literally doesn't show?? like wtf?? but here it is besties

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