For a stupid reason, I didn't think our photos were going to be waiting for us when we were done. The stupid reason was Jaz. Even though she wasn't here, if she was, she would do that. She would take them and try to use them against me somehow. Jordan handed me one copy of the photo strip. I was right about how the first two were taken. Jordan looked good, attractive. I didn't. The third picture I considered inconclusive. I never liked the way my profile looked but I looked genuinely happy. I couldn't remember the last time a photograph caught something remotely similar to how I was looking at Jordan.

The last picture actually turned out well. It did capture the kiss, perfectly. She caught me smiling about it as we made our way back.

"Like something you see?" she asked.

"Yes, only the last two," I answered.

"I like all of them. You just look so good in every one, I can't decide which is my favorite."

"You shouldn't lie."

"I'm not lying babe."

She grabbed my face and kissed me again. It was a pleasant surprise, but it felt weird; I felt exposed. She pulled back, revealing a smile that I loved to see.

"I really wish you would just relax," she said.

"I am relaxed. I'm here, having an amazing time with you."

"You are here, and maybe you're having a good time but it doesn't feel like you're with me. It's like you're suddenly having a problem being gay I public with me. Isn't this the exact problem you had with Rebecca?"

"Yeah, it is. I-I'm sorry. This is so stupid. I don't know what's going on." We were still walking, and ended up sitting at the spot we were in before the picture taking. "Just – here, I don't feel like I'm good enough to be with you."

"And there's your self-confidence biting you in the ass again. Parker, there is no one I'd rather be with at this music festival. There isn't anyone in the whole world - not even a top notch model on the cover of... I don't follow that stuff, I don't know. It doesn't matter, but there's no one I'd rather kiss than you. I lo-"

"You what?"

I knew what it felt like to have my heart explode. She loved me.

"I- nothing. We should try to get closer to the stage. I think they'll be on after this act."

"Jordan, wait," I said as she popped up, ready to escape. "I'm not going to ask you to say it again, or rather in full. But, I want to know, do you mean it?"

She nodded with her eyes closed. There was a wonderful kind of excitement I felt, building up the confidence I needed quickly as I stood up in front of her. Knowing that she loved me was all I needed to knock the wind out of the both of us with the force of our lips connecting.

"That was all you needed to be comfortable with kissing me in public?"

"Not exactly. I just feel more secure and confident about us. This isn't just some kind of fling to you."

"Ooh come on," she said. "you know me way better than that. I know how it started wasn't exactly honest but it is now. I want you to trust me."

"I do. So let's get out of our feelings and go try to squeeze to the front."

"I like that idea. I heard it works if we pretend we're trying to get to a friend at the front."

I loved seeing her happy. The fake friend story worked until the second or third row of people up at the gate. We managed to land in the center, so the view was pretty good. Jordan seemed pretty satisfied. Someone was on stage that we didn't know, but the music sounded decent. It was a mix of pop punk and electronic music that somehow worked for them. Jordan danced a little but it was hard because of the large group that surrounded us.

One of those people in the group tapped me on the shoulder and held a blunt in my face, which at first I assumed to be a cigar until I took in the smell. I'd never smoked before, but a few different times, Thomas had gotten us edibles.

"You ladies want to smoke?"

It was a buff looking, bald man who asked, possibly in the middle of a mid-life crisis. Jordan looked at me and waited for my response. I nodded and shrugged, and took the blunt from him. It was something Jordan and I had never discussed. I took a few small hits, and offered it to Jordan. She looked confused and a little surprised that I'd done it. She pulled longer hits than I did and only coughed a little. She returned it to the guy that gave it to us. We were kept in the rotation. I didn't know when Jordan would stop, but I stopped once I felt the same as I did when I had my last edible. The music was all I could hear then, even though everyone in the crowd was singing and shouting. Jordan kept going until they couldn't anymore. By the time it was done, it was finally dark outside.

"I didn't know you smoked," she said.

"I didn't know you did either."

She shrugged and moved her shoulders and head to the music. Her eyes were just the slightest bit red, and it made me wonder what my own looked like. Nearly everyone else here was probably just as stoned, if not more, so I figured it didn't matter. During the last song, the buff guy handed us two joints and said "enjoy". He walked away with his friend, which confused me. I thought people weren't exactly generous with their bud, especially since it was hardly ever free. Neither of us had a lighter though, so I had no idea how we would smoke them, if Jordan even wanted to. She stared at the joints in her hand for a few minutes, even past the applause for the band. The stage was clear and some people walked away, probably to watch a different performer or get in place for the other act that would be playing at the end of the night.

"Do you want to smoke one?" she asked.

"We can... if that's what you think we should do."

She reached into the small bag that she brought with her and pulled out a lighter. She lit the joint while holding it in her mouth. She looked comfortable with it, as if she'd done it before. It wasn't a problem for me, but it was something I never expected from her. Becca never asked me to smoke or drink with her, but I figured she probably did both. We managed to get mostly through the joint when the set-up crew left the stage and the lights started flashing and moving around the stage. Jordan started screaming along with the crowd and her phone was out, already recording. That left me to finish the joint, and I was already pretty high.

I hardly ever had munchies when I was high off of edibles, but I was suddenly so hungry. I didn't want her to be left alone though, even though she was enjoying herself. I sat through the rest of the performance, listening to the music and liking it, but the only thing I could really concentrate on was all the food stands. Jordan tried getting me to dance with her but their menus were the most interesting thing then; I was thinking about what I could order from each one. I could probably buy everything I wanted and still not run out of money.

They played the final song, and I was excited, thinking I'd finally be able to get something to eat. Jordan turned around with a smile so big I thought her face would break.

"I love you," she said.

"What?"

That was my immediate response. At first, my brain didn't even register what she said. Once it did, I wanted her to say it again, to be sure that I wasn't imagining it.

"I-I think I said I love you. I'm high right now but I mean it. You look speechless right now and that's okay. I don't need you to say it back."

I was hardly functioning at that point but I could take in what she was saying. She was saying that she loved me. My brain was wrapping around the concept as fireworks shot off a little way away from the field. I'd always wanted to kiss someone during a firework show. I wanted to tell her I loved her back, and if I did it would be a picture perfect, storybook moment. This wasn't special enough for me. It didn't feel like the right time. I didn't want her to think I was only saying it because I was high.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked.

Not once have I ever thought about saying no to a request like that from Jordan. I'd already said yes in my head so I was waiting for this kiss, until I realized she needed verbal confirmation. My brain could only manage nodding but the kiss wasn't so lackluster. I pulled back to watch the rest of the fireworks. This was my first time watching them under any type of influence. Her arms around me made the feeling of astonishment multiply and intensify inside.

I was hoping nothing would ruin the night but this was real life and no one's day was ever truly perfect. Before I realized what was happening, I was standing behind Jordan. Rebecca was screaming at Jordan, at the both of us. It blew my high, slowly at first. It was like I was adjusting the volume on her voice until it sounded right and I could understand what she was saying.

"So you've told her then?" Becca asked Jordan.

"No. This is not the time Rebecca. Go away."

"Tell her nutcase. Look at her, her eyes are blasted. What did you do to her?"

"Please MOM she smoked on her own. Go. Now," Jordan said.

Becca was turning more and more red as she talked to Jordan, squeezing the sides of her drink. I might've not been completely aware of the conversation but it wasn't heading anywhere good. I tugged on Jordan's hand, wanting to pull her away from the altercation. She stayed put, however, and I was in no position to try to drag her away; I had no strength. I stood beside her instead. Hiding behind her made me feel like a coward. I could never look that weak in front of Rebecca.

"Listen Rebecca, I didn't have the best morning and after that amazing performance I refuse to let you put me back in that mood. I know what it's like to fall for Parker. I did, and you may think you did but it's not about how we feel, it's about how she feels. She doesn't love you anymore and she's my girlfriend. You need to leave us alone. You're acting crazy."

"Don't speak for her."

"Becca... Jordan isn't wrong. I – I don't love you. I thought I did but I've already told you all of this. We're never going to be together again, whether I'm with Jordan or anyone else," I said. I didn't think anything I said or the way I said it would diffuse the situation. We needed to walk away.

"She put this in your head, didn't she?" Becca asked.

"No Becca- "

"You're a bitch."

Becca tore the top off her plastic cup and threw the remnants of her drink at Jordan, which soaked into her hair and shirt almost immediately. The look of shock never left Jordan's face, even as I chased after Rebecca.

"Hey Rebecca," I called before she got too far.

She stopped walking but didn't turn around yet. I didn't know what I was going to do or say, but it gave me enough time to think until I appeared in front of her. She slowly turned, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"Oh what now? You haven't had enough? Go hump your new girlfriend slut."

My fist connected with the side her face the second slut dripped out of her mouth. I wouldn't regret that one either. She was on the ground, holding her face, looking more like Jaz than the last time I'd seen her. She wasn't going to hit me back. I definitely wasn't high anymore and the punch woke me up. I pulled Jordan by the hand to a food stand, where I bought a few bottles of water and to the shortest merchandise line to buy her something to wear. Getting the drink out of her hair wasn't difficult and we used two of three bottles. The napkins in my car were used to wipe her face, neck, and arms of the stuff. I waited beside the porta-potty while she changed her shirt, keeping an eye out for any other Willow Grove students. She was silent as we walked back to my car. In fact, she'd been silent since Rebecca threw the drink. I had nothing to say, and it didn't feel like the right time to make a joke about how I'd sucker punched Rebecca.

"Do you wanna get dropped off at home?" I asked. "If not, you can come to my place. It's no problem."

"Your place sounds good," she said barely above a whisper.