T W E N T Y - S I X

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Polk's original machine, the same one that created me for the first time, was tucked away in the hall's basement just like I remembered. As we stepped inside, Xerses flipped on the lights. And as soon as I saw the old machine, I hurried and placed Clara on the bed,

"Okay, what do we do?" Xerses quickly moved to the computers and powered them on. They buzzed with life, slowly loading. "Is there a program I'm looking for?" he asked.

I carefully placed Clara's head on the old, white pillow. Her breathing had slowed, weak. I placed my hand on her chest, trying to detect her heart. With my other hand, I pointed at the computers. "Anything with Zara's name." I looked at him. "This machine was for her."

"Right." Xerses pulled a chair and sat in front of them, tapping at the keys. "I remember that..." He glanced back at me. "When you came from here, did you..."

He paused as we locked eyes. Did I what? Had I used the whole program? No, that wasn't what happened. The machine was meant to create one body, yes, but... I shook my head and looked back at Clara. I reached and pressed each of the cables on the sides of the bed into her arms. She didn't react at the pinch. She should've.

I gulped. Please don't die, Doll...

"His machine had enough flesh for one body, but the nano bots?" On the sides of the bed were buttons, small ones. With one hand, I pressed all the ones on the left before reaching over Clara to press the ones on the right. "There are enough for more than one. I know there is."

Xerses clicked around the moment before pausing. He sighed, then pressed his head into his hands. Sliding his fingers down to his chin, he stared at the monitors in front of him. "What if this doesn't work, Roger?" he whispered. But I heard him.

He looked at me and frowned. "What if—"

"Don't." The bed powered on, glowing white on the sides. Each of the cables I'd attached to her arms lit up, too. Focusing on her and the machines, I switched my vision to see the electricity. Small openings from each of the cables lit up; the nanos were ready to be launched.

"Clara's always taught me one thing, X." I turned and moved over to the computers he sat in front of. He'd found the Zara file, and pulled it right into the center of the desktop. I clicked it twice. "Clara's never one to give up."

"This is kind of out of our control, Roger..." Xerses moved back to give me room. "I'm not blaming you... I'm just..."

I tried to stay calm. I knew if I was a wreck, screaming, and in tears, nothing good could happen. Our chances would drop, irrational decisions would be made. And the more Xerses let his feelings show, the more I felt mine spill over on the surface.

I didn't blame him. He loved her as much as I did. They were close, since children. They grew up together.

I loved her, mind, body, and spirit. I loved every part of her and vowed since the moment she freed me to protect her. And in keeping her in the dark... I put her in more danger than I'd done in the past.

"I know you're not blaming me," I whispered as Zara's file came up on the computer, filling the screen with encrypted code. "And I thank you for that..."

I turned back towards Clara and slowly approached the bed. "I just hope she doesn't blame me either..."

Xerses' chair rolled back over to the computer. I heard him click keys, muttering under his breath.

I stood next to Clara. As the bed glowed beneath her, I touched her cheek. She was cold. I glanced down at the cables in her arms, the tubes; they were dimmed. I bit the insides of my cheeks as I tried not to assume the worst. "The bots are going to come, Doll," I whispered to her. "They're going to close that gunshot and anything else that's there and..." I sucked in a deep, hard breath. I choked on my words. "I love you, and I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry."

If Polk hadn't done this... hadn't interfered with our world, the Codes, and our lives... we wouldn't be here. I could be sitting on our old couch, sipping a freshly made cup of tea, blissfully ignoring our troubles.

"Roger," Xerses' voice was frantic, "there's a hiccup."

I looked back at him. "What? Where? How?"

Xerses didn't turn toward me. He was focused, pressing buttons on the keyboard. The coding on the computer screen had changed from blue to red. The corners of the monitor flashed red.

This... I remembered this...

New Year's Day, 2103.

"Roger, I don't know what to do." He slapped his hands against the keyboard before looking at me. "I didn't touch anything, didn't change anything. Man, this... I don't know what this is."

"I know what this is." I stood next to him, eyeing the broken letters sliding down the screen. "This is what happened when VFs took over."

Xerses' head snapped in my direction. "What? You knew?"

"I didn't..." I whispered, looking back at the screen. "But I remember running away from orders... I didn't want to take over. It wasn't what we wanted..."

Slowly pushing himself up from his seat, Xerses stood next to him. "Orders?"

I sighed, closing my eyes. "There was a blockage before I lost connection with Clara that night. And after that... I just..." I looked at Xerses. "That blockage was intentional to interfere with the update. This?" I pointed at the computer screen. "Someone is trying to interfere with the nanobots."

Xerses looked back at Clara. Stretching an arm out, he touched the cables I'd attached to her arm. Their glow dimmed. He had to notice that; I did. When he looked at me, brows pinched together in worry, he shook his head. "Look, Rog, I don't know what you're talkin' about, but..." He moved away from Clara's side and walked back over to the computer. He quickly tapped at the keys as if he hoped for a reaction. Nothing.

"I'll explain what I'm saying later," I said, rubbing my hands together. "Right now, I need to meet her in there, find the blockage, and make sure these nanos connect."

"You can do that?" Xerses' wide eyes focused on me. "I don't know what software here would work for it."

"I don't need any software. Or machines. I just need you." I stood in front of him and relaxed. "I need you to hit me. And hit me hard."

Xerses stumbled back, hitting the desk. He gripped the chair beside it. "What the fuck? Rog, why—"

"If I'm unconscious, I'll slip into the Void. I can find her and whatever's going on." I turned my head. "So just hit me."

Xerses didn't move. He stayed where he was, looking down at the floor. I didn't need my computers to see his hesitation. He was worried. And had every right to be. I was, too.

Focusing on a square on the floor, I listened to the quiet, slow beeps of Clara's heartbeat. I was afraid it'd stop any second. We couldn't waste any more time.

"Don't let me be the reason this happens..." I looked back at him just as my eyes burned. When he looked at me, a tear fell from my eye and down my cheek. I whispered, "Don't let me be the one that kills her... Please, X."

Maybe it was what I said. Or maybe it was the look on my face. But Xerses heard me and reacted. He tugged off his cardigan before rolling up his sleeves. His hands rolled into fists as he looked in my eyes. "I'm sorry," he said.

Then he swung. Pain spread through my face for just a second. Then darkness took over.

|||

My head buzzed with static, not pain. When I opened my eyes, I found the old Province basement had disappeared. I sighed with relief. This was what I needed to happen. I needed to get back here, and if there had been one thing I'd learned from Clara, it was getting to the Void wasn't as hard as it seemed. My heart needed to be in the right place, my mind focused. I just needed to sleep. And Xerses hitting me in the face seemed like the only way...

"Okay, now..." Looking around the white Void, I stepped forward. The space echoed with silence. Rolling my fingers into closed fists, I listened out for sounds. Voices. Whispers. Anything. But when nothingness caressed my ear, I knew I couldn't wait.

I took another step and cupped my hands over my mouth. "Clara!" I called out.

It took a minute, but my echo came back to me.

No, that wasn't what I wanted. If the old nanos entered her body, something must have happened. A reaction should've occurred with the receptor in her head. I needed her to be connected to the Void, the empty unused database, just like the rest of us Codes were. If she wasn't here... if my plan backfired and I lost her because of my negligence...

Clenching my jaw, I took three more steps forward and called out again. "Clara!" I turned in a full circle. "Clara! Doll! Please!"

My heart hammered in my chest as my three-sixty brought me back to the emptiness I'd seen seconds before. I couldn't let panic take over. I couldn't give up.

Without another thought, I started to run. To where? I didn't know. My reaction was the same as I'd done in my dream long ago; run until Clara came into view. Only, that wasn't a dream, and I knew that now. Clara was there, frightened and waiting for me. I'd reached out then. I'd touched her. It was her eyes that brought me back to reality. And even if that wasn't where I'd originally planned to be, the initial plan was awful, heinous, and twisted into something out of our control.

"Roger!"

My name came toward me. I stopped and turned, trying to follow the echo. It bounced from every direction. I grit my teeth, listening out. It was Clara, I knew it was. I just needed her to call for me again.

Turning in another circle, I cupped my hands over my mouth one more time. "Clara!" Please, say something. Be closer.

"Roger!" There she was again. This time she was closer. I knew her voice anyway.

I turned toward her voice but didn't wait for her to call again. I ran. The sound of my shoes skidding across the floor echoed in my ears until the same sound from someone else came close, too. She was there. With me. Running toward me, I knew it.

It was as if I blinked and saw her coming toward me. Smaller, then larger. Closer, rushing with need. I panted as I skidded to a stop, as to not run into her. But I let her crash into my chest as she met me. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she pressed herself up on her toes. My arms wrapped around her, face in her hair.

As I squeezed my eyes shut, I whispered, "Clara..."

She was crying. Her tears hit my shirt. Dampness on my chest. I wanted to pull back a bit to look at her, to touch her face, but she wouldn't let me. She didn't let me go. "I was scared..." she whispered. "I didn't... I don't know why I'm here and—"

"Don't." I couldn't let her stay this way. Pulling her arms away from my neck, I looked into her eyes, and at the tears that rimmed them. Now that I knew she was here and alive, a new regret and guilt. She was crying. That was something I swore to never let happen...

I cupped her face in my hands. "Doll, I'm sorry," I whispered. "I put you here... to save you, but this shouldn't have happened." I shook my head. "If I had... if I had been open and responsible... if I hadn't gone around behind your back, lying, hiding... then none of this would have happened."

Clara lifted her hands. She linked her fingers with mine as she looked up at my face. "Roger..."

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "I did all of this to protect you... I always did everything... to protect you."


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