I stood under the spray of the hot water until I could no longer feel anything but the burn. The shower was the only place I could go that my mother couldn't invade. She'd come home confused about the police car and when Karen had told her what happened, my mother told me I was overreacting. The look on Jordan's face will forever be etched into my mind. He was shocked. But he had every right to be. A parent was supposed to support their child after something bad happened. And after everything that had happened to me, he couldn't understand why my mother wasn't there for me.
Jordan was still downstairs, sitting in the lounge with my sister. My mother had gone to bed after her futile attempt at trying to convince us to tell the police to go home. I couldn't handle it. I had to do something, and the only thing I knew I could do was jump into a shower and try to burn the past two days from my skin.

*****

I was woken by the sounds of the wedding march coming from the other room. I hadn't slept very well; nightmares of Talita plagued my mind, so I was still foggy when Jack came into the room carrying a garment bag.

"Wake up Ashleigh. Today is a big day."

I sat up, and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Talita would have known something was wrong, but Ashleigh just smiled and nodded. There were two parts of me now. I was fractured. Talita was scared, but Ashleigh meant survival.

Jack placed the garment bag on the bed, and smiled down at me.

"I want you to put this on. And when you're ready, meet me in the lounge."

Jack seemed so happy that he practically bounced out of the room. When I opened the bag, I saw why. It was a wedding dress. It was old and musty, and it made my heart jump into my throat. The wedding march suddenly sounded more like a death march.

*****

When I finally made my way back downstairs, Karen and Jordan sat chatting in low voices. I stopped in the doorway and cleared my throat. I had a feeling they were talking about me, and it needed to stop.

When Jordan looked up at me, his lips turned up in a gentle smile. He then looked over to the other side of the room. Two easels had been set up next to each other.

I walked over to them and ran my hand over the canvasses. It felt like home. Jordan and Karen disappeared from my mind as I picked up some paints and the palette. The paintbrush felt like it had a mind of its own as it brushed the canvas. Reds and greens were the primary colours that I used. And gold. Blood, trees, and Caroline. By the time I came out of it, the sun was rising, and tears were streaming down my face. I stepped back to look at the final work. The scene itself didn't shock me, it was the fact that I decided to paint a picture that never happened. Caroline's golden blonde hair, running through the forest, covered in blood. Her instead of me. I looked away from the painting and finally noticed that both Karen and Jordan were still there, sleeping soundly.

In that moment it felt like the world was coming down around me. I crumpled to the floor and began to wail. Karen and Jordan startled awake and both of them came rushing over to me. Jordan didn't dare touch me, but Karen kneeled next to me and pulled me into her arms. I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling. I didn't know how to be normal again. And the absence of my best friend made everything so much worse. She was the strong one. She'd always been stronger than me. And now Karen had to pick up the pieces of the broken shell of a person that I had become. She rocked me in her arms, trying to calm me. Rustling by the door made me look up, and through watery eyes, I saw my mother with her hand over her mouth. She was looking from the painting to me, and it looked like something in her finally broke. A sob escaped her lips, and she came over to both me and Karen and held us both. Her embrace finally calmed me down. I stopped wailing. I stopped crying, I just stopped. And when I looked up again, Jordan was gone. I was grateful.

*****

Talita was screaming in my head. But Ashleigh knew this was the only way to stay alive. I held a bouquet of lilies and lavender in my hands. Some part of me wondered how Jack knew my favourite flowers; the other part of me thought it was sweet.

A priest stood at the end of the makeshift aisle Jack had created. And Jack stood next to him in a tux. This was my wedding day. Our wedding day. And he looked so handsome. The priest looked happy but I could see an underlying emotion.

"How did Jack find a priest who was willing to do this!!" Talita screamed in my head. I shook my head trying to get her voice to shut up. A darkness crossed Jack's face for a moment before it disappeared and was replaced with pure joy. The darkness worried me, but as long as I did what he said, I'd be okay.

The priest cleared his throat, and then began to speak in a deep timbre. "We come together to celebrate the very special bond between Jack and Talita..."

The rest of his words fade into the background. A part of me had thought this was going to be a fake ceremony, which was why I was so calm. But the priest used my real name. What was Jack doing?

Jack looked over at me expectantly, and I said the words that I knew would haunt me. "I do."

*****

For the first time since I'd started seeing Geraldine, my mother waited for me to finish my session. After I broke down earlier, an emergency session had been in order.

Geraldine sat across from me, staring at me, waiting for an answer I didn't hear the question to.

"Sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked you if you were ready to sign the papers?"

I knew what she meant. The 'papers' was a legal document stating that my marriage happened under duress. I was Talita Beckett, everyone knew me by that name, but in the eyes of the law, my name was Talita Perkins, widow of Jack Perkins.

When I'd first broached the subject with my parent's I hadn't wanted to admit what had really happened. I wanted to get as far away from it as possible. I put off signing the papers. I knew that signing them would just cement the fact that I had been married. And I didn't want that to stain my soul.

"I think it's time." Geraldine said from her chair. "You've made a lot of progress these past few days. You're painting. You let people touch you now. You've made a friend. Your mother has even made progress. It's time Talita. Let's give you your identity back."

I didn't say anything, I just nodded my head and stood up. Geraldine led me to her desk and handed me a pen. It was black. It was binding. I signed my name and breathed deeply when I lifted the pen.

"When will this be over?" I looked at Geraldine and she grinned at me. It was a strange look for her.

"We still have a long way to go, but you've made such good progress already."

After the session ended, my mom drove us home. She didn't say anything but it was enough just having her there. It meant she was finally beginning to accept what had happened.