Flashback
-6 years ago-

New York City

Isobel P.O.V.

My feelings of sadness morphed into madness as more time passed. I wasn't upset anymore, I was now simply angry. Sophie bared the brunt of my rants and outpouring of feelings unfortunately.

"He had like weeks Soph to say anything, to explain why he would tell me we'd keep in contact, why he would tell me he was coming to the airport, why he would just take advantage of us and then get up and leave without a word in the morning. I feel used." I ranted upset and angrily.

"I know, I know." She said. "It doesn't excuse what he did at all, but I guess he's just going through stuff just like you too..."

"He still hurt me whether I like to admit it or not. I'm just, I can't keep tearing myself up about it all. It makes me feel insecure and doubtful about my worth. And that's not the kind of girl I am. I can't let him have that power over me."

"Aw I'm sorry Is." She said, and I could feel her solemn expression on her face right now. "You know you're beautiful and if a guy doesn't see your worth, then he's not worth it. You're amazing okay?"

"Thanks Soph," I murmured, hugging my knees to my chest. "It's just that I thought, I don't know if this was stupid, but I thought Kade genuinely cared for me?" I said meekly. "But if he did then, why would he just leave?" I blinked back a tear.

"It's not stupid. I think he does care Is. But it's something you might have to find out from him," she said softly.

"Ugh!!!" I groaned. "I don't know, I don't think I want to talk to him yet, even though I want answers. I'm scared I'll just be too angry and it won't achieve anything. Maybe I just need to forget about the whole thing for a while. It sucks. He sucks."

"I hear you. When you're ready to talk, then you talk to him. You do what's best for you okay?" Sophie murmured in her most relaxing tone. She's too damn nice to me sometimes.

"Thanks Soph. Let's just... let's just put on a talking about Kade ban for now." I said, nodding to myself.

"Okay, if that will help."

"Thankyou for always being here for me."

"No worries Is. Ollie said take care as well, and he hopes you're enjoying New York- things will get better."

I smiled softly. "Tell him thankyou aswell."

So, in order to prevent myself from stewing over it, I resorted to blocking his memory from my mind if it ever so came up. Right then and there, formed my (probably unhealthy) therapeutic habit of instantly forgetting everything that reminded me of him as soon as it popped up.

He had reached out (barely might I add), but I ignored them all. I needed to put myself first, and right now, all that happened when thinking about him was a surge of unwanted, miserable feelings.

Ignorance is bliss, so they say.

The summer went by in a quick flash and fall semester, my first semester of college was here. Just like that, three months had vanished.

I packed my books excitedly and headed towards my first ever class, seeing the purple flags holding the school's insignia fluttering in the gentle breeze. I made my way into the large theatre that held hundreds of tiny little chairs and desks assigned perfectly in little rows. I slipped inside one and waited patiently. The rows quickly filled with freshman students from all walks of life as the room was buzzing with chatter.

"Hey," a cheerful voice greeted as they got themselves seated next to me.

I glanced up to meet a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at me, framed in a pair of glasses.

"Hi," I smiled.

"Cute specs," he winked.

I chuckled, noticing we had on the exact same pair. "You too."

"Thanks. So how about it? Be my first friend?" He shot me a friendly grin. "I have a feeling we may have some things in common."

I chuckled once again, and nodded, grateful to have met such a nice person on the first day. "I'm Isobel."

Decidedly, I couldn't let Kade have a hold and an effect over me anymore. I couldn't shed another tear for him and be hurt by his actions. I should have never let us get so far, and never let him into my life so deeply. I had let my guard down and all it did was get me hurt in the end.

But no more.

Kade Whitley had lost the right to talk to me when he broke everything.

The world is so big, and I hoped that there was more for me out there.

There had to be.

I'm only 18.

I've only just started college.

It's time to start my life with a fresh, clean slate.

~

Rhode Island

Kade P.O.V.

A few weeks passed and since I didn't feel like so much of a mess anymore about Bel and our situation, I decided to text her. Also, it seemed like plenty of time for her to have settled in to her college and be excited about her work. Hopefully that would have softened the repercussions of my actions.

"Hey, how are you?"

I typed a message, before backspacing it all to think of something else.

"How is NYU?"

No.

"I miss you."

No. I can't. I groaned. Why is this so hard to do? I twiddled my thumbs before settling for something simple to test the waters.

Me
Hi

I pressed send, throwing it out there into the wind, hoping something is carried back in return. Receiving absolutely nothing in for another week, I perhaps gaged she was either busy or still upset with me. Fuck it. I sent her a couple more messages.

Me

What's up?

Hey, let's talk?

How are you?

Staring at the blank space where her message back to me should have been. I huffed, turning my phone away and contacted Soph instead.

"I'm sorry Soph." I started off with apologetically. "I didn't mean to cause so much drama."

"Yeah Ollie told me," she smiled sadly. "It's okay. Just don't do it again hey." She chuckled lightly, remaining the sweet, positive girl she always is.

"So... how's Bel?" I questioned curiously.

"She's good. She loves the college and she gets along with her roommate. She's making friends..." Sophie started, "...but, you want to know what she's feeling with you, right?"

I nodded sheepishly. "Yes please, if you can say anything."

"Well she's mad... she's pretty angry with you now." Sophie said apologetically. I flinched at the words. I really could have messed things up badly between us. "I know you've been trying to reach her, but right now she is quite adamant she wants to cut you off... for a while..." Sophie gulped, eyeing me hesitantly with worry flashing in her eyes.

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "I guess I deserve that."

"But you know feelings change, hopefully she will calm down." Sophie piped up, hoping to ease the burn of her words.

I nodded in agreement. "I'll give her some more time then I suppose. Can you let her know... if she'll listen- that I didn't mean to hurt her?"

"Of course."

And so I waited, waiting to hear anything from her before calling. Unfortunately I didn't hear anything back, and I couldn't wait around all summer like a hermit stick in my room, so I tried my best to go out and make the most of the longer, warmer days with my friends.

The beach had perfect weather, the sun was shining, the sea was cool, and the sand was warm. Life was blooming outside and just waiting to be explored.

~

I leaned back against the kitchen bench, sipping from my drink as I laughed at something Jacob was saying. He decided to throw a little party before he head off for college.

The lights were dimmed, and the music was blasting loudly from the speakers as hordes of partygoers moved to the beat underneath the flashing lights.

"She's a definite 10." Jacob pointed to a girl standing there chatting to her friends. I glanced over at her quickly but felt nothing when I watched her.

"Yeah," I shrugged, agreeing just for the heck of it.

"I'm gonna go talk to her I think," he smirked at me. "One last island gal before I go off to war."

I chortled, raising an eyebrow at his audacity and dramatics. "Okay dude, good luck."

I liked to think to myself as a reformed ladies man ever since I've gotten to know Isobel. But now, she wasn't here, and she evidently no longer wishes to speak to me. That hurt. Fucking bad. I breathed in a deep breath of air and closed my eyes as I skulled the rest of my drink.

"That's it man. Pick up your game again." Jacob cheered on from beside me. "Oh! You can wingman me and talk to her friend."

"Nah, you'll be okay." I shook my head. I wasn't ready to be with anyone yet.

"Dude. You don't have to sleep with the girl or marry her." He chuckled, patting me on the back. "Just talk to her and get some attention. You look like a wounded puppy."

True.

Was it that obvious?

Fuck.

I grabbed another drink and skulled that to get my blood pumping. "Okay fine. Talking doesn't hurt."

I enjoyed socialising and being with people, and it's time I did more of that.

Weeks passed, the green leaves faded into brown and fell to the brittle ground as summer ended and college started.

Oliver, Soph and I welcomed the new school lifestyle in on our very first day at Brown. College kept me even busier than before and formed a good distraction. I had never met so many people in my life as soon as I started here. Things looked brighter. We were all so young, and there was still so much more of life to live. I tucked the thoughts of Isobel into my mind, hoping that she'd come around but, I was no longer able to waste away my own wellbeing constantly dwelling over it.

I had to try to live freely.