Disclaimer: Mia is mine. The rest isn't.

Warning: Meds. Innuendos.

Beta: Still out of commission. :(

Second Beta: Lavendor Queen

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I cracked my eyes open, twitching my nose in hopes of preventing the oncoming sneeze. After succeeding the prevention, I then glanced down to find myself curled up against Jiraiya, Naruto practically in my lap and multiple blankets around us. Jiraiya was snoring loudly, his head resting on the back of the couch and Naruto was body-hugging my legs and stomach, drooling on me. I looked up and noticed that we had left the T.V. on—I had fallen asleep halfway during our apparently final movie, Naruto already asleep on me and Jiraiya starting to doze off.

I guess Jiraiya didn't bother to wake us up and get us into a bed, I concluded reaching around the snoring Sannin to grab the remote and switch the T.V. off. Once that was done, I debated on how to extract myself from the position I was in.

Hmmm...

I shrugged, closing my eyes, pulling Naruto closer and snuggling back into Jiraiya. Can't do it without waking them and they've just fought off an entire invasion. They deserve the rest, so I better just go with it.

And they are seriously comfy.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

When I awoke again, I found myself entirely alone on the couch—how in the hell did they get out of that without waking me? Damn shinobi—but not alone in the apartment. Kakashi was in a reading chair, a little ways from me, flipping through his porn.

"Wha—"

"My little cute Genin are off on a D-Rank mission," Kakashi explained. "They don't need me to supervise them, so I decided I would stay here and wait for them."

"Why here?" I asked incredulously.

Kakashi motioned to me. "Because you cannot take care of yourself on your own."

I shrugged. "Can to. It'd just be more difficult."

"Point. Breaking an arm and wrist and fracturing your ankle can make life difficult—especially when you don't have chakra to help speed up the process."

"Another downside," I sighed, moving to sit up on the couch.

"Is there any upside to not having chakra?"

"Well," I reasoned, "I can't be placed under a genjutsu without my willing consent and even then I easily break out of it, and most shinobi or kunoichi can't sense my presence. Granted they could still hear or smell me, but..."

Kakashi gave a small hum of acknowledgement. "Doesn't seem worth it to me."

"It's not," I sighed. "Even the genjutsu stuff is annoying. My friend, Tobi, wanted to show me a couple of totally awesome things, and the way to do that was to just put me under a genjutsu and allow him to manipulate the genjutsu to what he wanted to show me. However, because of my lack of chakra network, he can't do it the normal way. He actually had to concentrate on entering my mind—you know how genjutsu pretty much uses the part of your chakra network attached to your nervous network to mind fuck you, right? Right—and it was still blurred. Not to mention, I could have easily pushed him out at any time I wanted—I can't really explain how, but it was just one of those..."

"Innate feelings?" Kakashi guessed. I nodded my head. "Sounds like it. So are you the only one...?"

"Nope. Everyone from my home w—land doesn't have chakra like you guys do," I said, smiling. "We make up for it in technology. I've shown you my laptop before, and you were still baffled by its ability to have a touch-screen that doubled as a tablet, right?"

"Right. I've never seen anything like it before," Kakashi agreed.

I nodded again. "Well believe it or not, my laptop is actually pretty outdated. We've got flying airplanes—think of them as vehicles that actually lift you off the ground and allow you to be flown anywhere you want in the world—and submarines—like the airplanes, only they go underwater—and we've got the best gaming consoles—" I broke off, swallowing down the reflexive lump that came whenever I thought of my home. "It's... well, we're pretty damn awesome when it comes to technology."

"It sounds like it. Could you build a—what did you call it?—an airplane?"

I hesitated. "I've built a model airplane before. I know the basics, but it's not my area of expertise."

"What is?"

I blushed. "Physics, actually. Theoretical to be more precise, you know, the theory of gravity and all that. I wanted to go into the renewable energy department, see what I could do there, but then the whole thing about dark lightning—a burst of high radiation was found right before actual lightning, struck an airplane or something, I think—and then our engineering teacher started getting into the theory of black holes and, well... one thing lead to another..."

"Dark lightning?" Kakashi echoed.

Waving my hand in a dismissive manner, I said, "Doesn't matter now. None of that stuff really applies here. I'm just lucky that my grandfather and father were such mechanic nuts and passed on enough information to me so I could survive. Enough about me, though. Did you always want to be a shinobi?"

Kakashi cocked his head. "Of course."

"Really?"

"Really."

"... Care to elaborate?"

"Nope," Kakashi said, giving me his eye-smile.

"You're no fun," I pouted, waving my hand in a dismissive manner.

"Kaa-chan! Kaa-chan!"

I glanced up to find Naruto crawling into the window, grinning bright as can be. "Can't stay long, but you're totally okay if Tou-san takes me on a journey to find some old hag, right? Right? He wants to leave like, right now, and I thought that'd be okay with you, and stuff because you're cool and all, and you know... We're good, right? Right! I'm just going to get my bag packed!"

I blinked in dumbfoundment and shock as Naruto raced off to his room and started to frantically pack.

Kakashi turned his head, stifling his amused chuckle when my brain finally caught up to Naruto's words. I paled and I gave a whimper. "What? What do you mean you're leaving now? Young man—the invasion wasn't even all that long ago!"

Naruto rushed back into the room, his eyes wide and pleading as he hurtled himself on the couch next to me and looked up at me. His bottom lip quivered comically. "But... but... Kaa-chan... Tou-san promised to teach me this super awesome move if I come along, and you know... Please, Kaa-chan? I really want this. Please?"

I felt my heart break at his eyes. "Oh, Naruto... oh... fine. Just... just give me a hug, okay? And I want to talk to Jiraiya. JIRAIYA, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW."

Naruto gave a snicker as he bounced off the couch—swooping down a moment to give me a quick kiss on the cheek—before he ran off into his room. In that instant, Jiraiya appeared at the window, giving me an almost sheepish look.

"I didn't think it would be a problem," Jiraiya whined, as I gestured for him to take a seat next to me. Jiraiya did so, and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's not... it's just that, you know..." I mean, I was pretty much expecting him to leave to hunt down Tsunade, but half of me was also expecting him to stay 'cuz the Hokage was still alive. "Mind at least elaborating on what you're supposed to do?"

"Who's the old hag?" Kakashi asked.

Jiraiya gave a sigh. "Well... the invasion put a tremendous strain on the old man... he's decided enough was enough and it was time to settle for the next Hokage before he croaked. He, er, wanted me originally, but I was able to persuade him to keep an open mind."

Kakashi shook his head. "Don't tell me you're off looking for her."

I smirked. "Good luck, sensei."

Jiraiya gave a humorless smile. "I'll need it."

"When do I get my kid back?"

"A month or so, I expect," Jiraiya estimated, his brow furrowed. "Maybe two months if we're unlucky."

I shrugged. "He's safe with you. I know that, and with Orochimaru gone... well, that's just one less threat to worry about."

Kakashi peered at me. "I'm surprised you aren't having a panic attack about this."

"I am," I assured him. "I'm just getting way better at putting myself in denial of it and ignoring it until it goes away. I have a feeling it'll be a very useful tool, or else my nerves will pretty much be shot within the next year or so."

Jiraiya gave me a pitying look, one that I successfully ignored. He then said, "Anyway, sorry that I'm kidnapping our son for a few days, but at least you'll have Kakashi around to help you."

I glanced over at Kakashi. "Not unless he's willing to stay over 24/7."

Kakashi actually gave me an eye-smile at that. "Actually..."

Frowning, I gave him a dubious expression. "Actually what? What's wrong with your place?"

"It got destroyed in the invasion," Jiraiya explained.

"Oh. That sucks. Then if that's the case, then yes you may stay with me—"

"How'd you know I was going to ask that?"

The three of us glanced up to find Anko, crawling in through the window.

"Why can't anyone ever use the door?" I asked rhetorically. "Anyway, I didn't know you were going to ask that, Anko-chan. Kakashi's place got trashed too, so... Well, you are both welcome to stay here. I was meaning to buy another apartment and split it into a guest bedroom, this just gives me further reason."

"Does anyone else even live in this building?" Anko wondered.

"Nope," Jiraiya chirped.

"Cool. Alright, Kakashi, Anko, go find your own special rooms and I'll... go... down to the mission desk and hire some people to install connecting doors and whatnot. We'll grab furniture tonight," I said, once again finding how pleased I was to be spending all of Tobi's money in retaliation. Well, it still wasn't Tobi's money—I hadn't even burned through half of Yagura's money, interestingly enough.

Anko leered over at me. "Sounds like a plan. Besides, you'll need me and Kakashi around, seeing how you're completely helpless..."

I leered right back up at her. "Not completely..."

"Why do I feel like I really want to say kinky?" Kakashi wondered as Naruto entered the room. Naruto's eyes bulged and he did a double take upon seeing Anko.

He pointed at her and exclaimed, "What are you doing here? Weren't you have supposed to have died in the invasion?"

"Mia! You're brat is being mean," Anko whined.

"There, there, dear, that's just how he shows affection," I cooed. "Just look at his and Sasuke-chan's relationship."

Naruto's face looked rutilant, and he stammered, "K-Kaa-chan!"

"Hush, darling. When are you and Jiraiya leaving, anyway?"

"Now!" Naruto yelled, giving a pleading look at Jiraiya and a wary look at Anko.

Jiraiya laughed. "Alright, alright. I guess we can leave now. Let's go, brat!"

"I love you!" I said quickly. "Be safe. Jiraiya, watch over our baby."

"Love you, too," Jiraiya and Naruto chorused, both exiting out the window.

Anko gave a snicker after they left. "Well, now that they're gone... what do you say we have a giant threesome?"

"No," Kakashi denied immediately before I could even get the chance to.

Anko pouted petulantly.

There was a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in!" I called out. There was a slight pause before the door creaked open and a little boy with shockingly bright red hair appeared. He eyed the apartment blankly. "Ooh, you must be Gaara-kun. Naruto-chan told me all about you! Please come in."

I gave Anko and Kakashi a pointed look.

Anko rolled her eyes. "I'll go to the mission desk and grab us some Genin for installing the doors."

"I'll go pick out furniture," Kakashi said, and the two disappeared.

I smiled brightly at Gaara, sitting up on the couch and patting the seat beside me. Gaara slowly moved over towards me, taking a seat. "Hi, I'm Mia, I'm Naruto's mom."

"I... know," Gaara said softly. "He... told me about you. I was hoping for a chance to talk to Uzumaki before I left."

I gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, he's already left. You're welcome to talk to me, though, if you want."

Gaara gave a small shrug, glancing away. "... You know what he is?"

"Of course I do."

Gaara appeared to be struggling with something. He then sighed, looking back up at me. His appearance struck me as something familiar. It took a moment or two before I could place it... he reminded me of Naruto, when he accidentally called me Kaa-chan for the first time. Ashamed, embarrassed, but there was a plain hint of hopeful want.

I smiled warmly at him. "I don't care if you're a holder, as well, Gaara-chan. You're a jinchūriki brother to my son, and that makes you my son, as well."

Gaara's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Now, how about we play a little game?" I offered. "I know I have a deck of cards around here somewhere..."

Gaara gave a slow nod. "... I suppose I have time for a... a game."

I beamed.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I leaned on Tobi, the both of us sitting in my bed later on that night. I had informed Anko and Kakashi I was going to bed, only to find Tobi there waiting for me. He had set up some privacy and silencing seals, so the two of us could converse without worry of Anko or Kakashi interrupting or eavesdropping.

Really, though, it was just me pretty much falling asleep on Tobi's shoulder while Tobi read a book.

"Are you just going to be sleeping with me every night?" I wondered aloud, pretty much giving up on the fact of staying awake. The pain-killers the medical-nin had given me were heavy sedatives to boost, so I was starting to get a little dizzy and light-headed.

"... Probably for a while," Tobi quietly admitted. "I'm sorry if that bothers you..."

"It doesn't" I said quickly. "I like it, actually. I like sleeping with you."

Tobi gave a snort at the innuendo. "Also... I don't think you'll be spending much time in Konoha while Naruto is on his three-year training leave."

I blinked at that, tilting my head curiously. "Oh-ho?"

Tobi shrugged. "... Do you need help changing?"

I nodded my head, the action feeling sluggish and odd. "Just take off my pants, then I'll probably need help getting under the covers."

"Right," Tobi said, flushing. "I can do that..."

I gave a small hum, feeling giddy and heavy at the same time. I fell back onto my bed, yawning widely while Tobi started tugging my pants off. "How-wow cooome?"

"How come what? Oh," Tobi cleared his throat. "I just... I would rather you stayed with me."

Nodding slowly at that, I yawned again. "Mmkay... Howeverrr... I w-would rratherr... y-you know... still hang with Anko-chan and—and shit..." My voice was starting to slur and my eyelids were unnaturally heavy. "Y-You know..."

"I would be okay if you stayed in Konohagakure for some of the time—short periods of time—however, I would still insist that you stayed with me."

"'Kay," I said, agreeing. "Arrrre my pantssss off yet?"

"Yes," Tobi said.

"That'ssss gooooood," I drawled, turning over, closing my eyes.

I heard Tobi move about next to me, and I could feel him lift me off my bed and sling me over one shoulder. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at his rather cute butt, and I could see that he was moving the sheets back before he put me back into the bed. He moved over and turned the lights off before crawling into bed next me. I gave a final yawn before grabbing onto his arm and holding it tightly against my chest.

"Mia... what are you doing with my arm?" Tobi sighed, as he pulled the blankets over us.

"Shhh... it's g-g-going to keep the girrrrls compan-ay," I giggled.

"... We're changing your medication tomorrow."

I snickered.

"Good night, Mia."

"Good night, sexy."

Tobi gave a strained choking sound at that, and I had to smile at it, pleased at his reaction.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

When I awoke, it was to a unique position. I was practically on top of Tobi on my belly, my cheek resting on his chest and my left arm curled up next to me, with my right arm sprawled out away from us. Tobi was still asleep, snorting softly, his right hand resting on my lower back and his own left hand sprawled out next to my right hand.

I took a moment or two, to simply relax and savor the position.

I smiled, closing my eyes and deciding to go back to sleep.

Comfiest. Position. Ever.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Answer: The very first cup of instant ramen. I know, how sad. However, it was also the very first time I ever watched an actual anime for the purpose of watching anime, so it was a very significant moment for me.

Gawd, that sounds horribly geeky.

Oh, well.

Question: Weirdest word you know?

Reviews are love!