Disclaimer: ...Do I even need to say it anymore?

Warning: Cuteness and implied... stuff.

Beta: featherstofly

Second Beta: Lavendor Queen

Editor: Sansho

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Kaa-chan! Kaa-chan!" Naruto shouted as he rushed inside, closing the door with a little more force than necessary. "Guess what, guess what!"

"What?" I asked, smiling in amusement as Naruto hurried towards me, tackling into me on the couch. I patted his head, looking up when I saw the door open again and Sasuke entering. He spared me a look before shrugging, taking off his shoes and heading towards the fridge.

"We're going on a C-Rank! We're going on a C-Rank!" Naruto sang.

My heart faltered.

In a small voice, I squeaked, "Oh, really? Where to?"

"Wave," Sasuke grunted, pulling out a bag of tomatoes.

It took my entire willpower not to whimper and grab both of the boys and squeeze the ever living life outta them. I settled for wrapping my arms around Naruto and squeezing the ever loving life outta him. Naruto gave a grunt of protest, but otherwise allowed me to continue squeezing him.

"R-Really? So soon? I mean, haven't you guys only been Genin for a month?" I asked, trying to squash down the rising sense of panic.

"So?" Sasuke retorted, moving towards the couch and taking a seat next to me.

Unable to come up with any comeback due to my flustered state, I settled for grabbing Sasuke and starting to squeeze him too. Sasuke struggled halfheartedly against my grip, but decided it wasn't worth it and sagged in defeat.

"Where's Sakura?"

"We're not selling her out so you can squeeze the hell outta her," Naruto muttered.

"Damn it."

"Aren't you happy for us, Kaa-chan?" Naruto asked, turning his big blue eyes on me. I winced, feeling more than a little guilty for my actions earlier. The brat knew how to guilt-trip me like no tomorrow.

"Of course I am, sweetie. I'm just worried," I said slowly, releasing the two boys.

"Don't be," Sasuke snorted, moving away from me.

"When are you leaving?"

"This afternoon."

I didn't bother restraining my whimper.

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged glances before both boys sighed and patted my head.

"We'll be fine," Naruto said.

"So don't have a panic attack," Sasuke added.

"Lock the door behind us."

"Don't talk to strangers."

"Look both ways before crossing the street."

"Don't leave the oven on."

"Make sure to get plenty of rest—don't stay up too late."

"Eat healthy. Don't forget to train."

"And whatever you do-"

"-Under no circumstances,"

"Are you allowed to go on a date," they finished together.

I suppressed my laugh at that. Ever since Anko had dragged me into one of her double dates...

Anko, as much as I loved the girl, was insane. She somehow managed to snag a double date with two ANBU captains and I was her 'lucky' wing girl. I was reluctant at first, but gave in anyway. I thought it would have been a good chance to get over Obito.

What she didn't tell me was that they were still technically on duty so they were stuck in their uniform and masks (not that I was complaining—there was something appealing about men in ANBU uniform). It was also technically against the rules to do anything other than serve Konoha while on duty, but Anko assured me she was very persuasive in achieving the dates (I had the oddest feeling she threatened the C-word).

I was stuck with Mr. ANBU-Tora while Anko hogged Mr. ANBU-Karasu. Tora seemed like a nice guy, very polite, while Karasu was very stoic. Anyway, Anko and Karasu had completely ditched Tora and I after the first ten minutes of the 'date' (if you would even call it that. All it consisted of was really the two ANBU guarding the entrance to the T&I building). Unsure of what the hell we were supposed to do next, the two of us ended up playing card games until Anko came back.

When Anko and Karasu came back and discovered how 'boring' we were, she suggested a game of strip poker, just in time for Naruto to come rushing by in a vain attempt to avoid punishment from his latest prank, to overhear Anko.

Needless to say, Naruto spent the rest of the month focusing his pranks on Anko and ANBU in general. They were pretty creative pranks, very colorful and surprisingly effective. My favorite was the orange-paint bomb in the ANBU lounge.

Anyway, since then Naruto had been very wary of 'dates' of any sort with me, claiming all men were idiots and I was forbidden to date an idiot. Somehow he managed to rope Sasuke into believing the same thing.

I wasn't quite sure how.

"I don't know, Tora-kun and I actually ran into each other down at the market," I began, unable to resist teasing the two.

"No!" Naruto emphasized.

My lips twitched. "If you're leaving so soon, you two better start packing."

"Hai, hai."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I stood at the entrance of Konoha, latched on to Sakura and squeezing the hell out of her. Tazuna watched on, plain guilt on his face. Naruto and Sasuke stood a little way from our hug fest.

I kissed the top of her head and she gave a small whine of protest. I stepped back, gnawing at my bottom lip. "You'll be safe, right? Kick the boys' asses if they misbehave?"

"I'll be fine, Mia," Sakura consoled, patting my arm in a comforting manner. "I can take care of myself, you know."

"I know, it's just..."

"Kaa-chan," Naruto gave a small whine. "We'll be fine. Don't be such a worry wart."

Sasuke gave a grunt in agreement.

"Is something wrong?"

I turned around, finding Kakashi there. I sighed. "No, nothing is wrong."

I paused. I turned to Kakashi, narrowing my eyes at him.

"If my babies have so much as a scratch on them when they come back, I will find you, and I will end you."

Kakashi chuckled at first, but it grew weaker under my fierce gaze.

"Yes ma'am," Kakashi finally said.

I nodded. I turned to the trio again. "Be safe. Don't get killed. I love you all."

"Love you too," Naruto and Sakura chorused with a roll of their eyes. Sasuke only shifted awkwardly, looking down at his feet.

I nodded again. "Okay. Ja ne, everyone."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I paced up and down the apartment, double checking everything was locked and whatnot. I knew it would be roughly a week and a half before they would return, and I knew that I wouldn't be in Konoha during that time. I had sent a letter to Tsume, asking if she or Hana could come over and water the plants while I was gone. Normally I would ask Anko (say what you'd like about that girl, she takes care of her friends), but she was also out on a mission.

When Obito finally appeared at his usual time, I grabbed onto him.

"My. Babies. Wave. Urk."

Obito gave a sigh, gripping my arms and prying my death grip off of him. He glanced around the apartment before he grabbed my nearly-complete laptop, shoving it and a bag I already had packed in my arms, before teleporting me away to Amegakure.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I was starting to have another mild anxiety attack by the time Obito found Itachi. He promptly dropped me next to Itachi on the couch and went to go put my stuff in my room.

Itachi glanced at me, raising a single eyebrow.

"Babies. Wave. Urk."

Itachi gave a small sigh, his tone sympathetic. "It is something every shinobi parent or elder sibling must face, but it is the life of a shinobi. They are with a trained Jōnin, one rather skillful as well, I am sure they will be fine. Besides, it is only a low-ranking mission, they won't be facing any real dangers."

"Zabuza Momochi is in Wave, hired by Gato, hired to kill the very same man they are hired to protect. And he has multiple accomplices, all at least Chūnin level."

Itachi blinked. He stood up. "I'll go get Kisame. We leave for Wave immediately."

"Oh no, you don't," Obito said, entering the room.

Itachi gave Obito a blank look.

"No," Obito repeated, his voice losing its usual tone and transforming into his 'Tobi' tone. "They'll be fine."

"Who'll be fine, un?" Deidara asked, entering the room.

"My babies are off on their first C-Rank and there's a deranged missing-nin in the same area," I muttered.

Deidara only shrugged. "So what, you need distractions, is that why you're here, un?"

I nodded.

Deidara gave a grin. "We can do that."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I giggled gleefully, setting down the last bottle of soda. Beside me, Deidara snickered.

I knew I had said that all of us were wary of another prank-war. But honestly, Hidan was asking for it. Seriously, no one just ruined Kakuzu's money and got away with it (he bled all over the briefcase of money, covering it in enough blood to make it virtually useless). The moment the duo had returned (an hour after I had arrived), Kakuzu stole me away and said very plainly that the war was back on and everyone better focus on Hidan first.

Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Obito and I happily obliged. Now, we were preparing for the last touches.

When that was done, I stood up, glancing around Hidan's room appreciatively. It was a nice room. Not as nice as mine here, but still very nice.

I held up the walkie-talkie, buzzing in. "We're all set here."

There was a brief pause of static before Kisame responded. "We're all set here as well. Expect Hidan out of the shower in a minute."

I giggled, relaying the information to Deidara.

Deidara grinned widely. "Hidan's going to be spitting mad. You want to go solo or do you want me to carry you, un?"

I considered this. "I'll go solo. After all, this is our only pranking truce. The moment this is over, it's a free for all."

Deidara laughed. "That's true, un."

I positioned myself closest to the door, pulling out the camera. Deidara pulled out the video camera.

A few more seconds passed.

There was a high-pitched scream emanating from the bathroom attached to Hidan's room. Only a couple seconds passed before a nearly naked Hidan rushed out of the bathroom, the majority of his body glowing red from the burn. Step one: re-plumbing the system so whenever someone flushed, well, I think you can guess what happened.

Hidan whirled around at Deidara's snicker, his hands gripping firmly at his towel. He flushed darkly from anger and unminding took a step towards us.

He slipped on the syrup covered floor, falling back, arms flailing into the pit of syrup and feathers. Hidan spluttered, screeching curses at us. When he finally managed to stand up, I let go of the string I had been holding, releasing the caps on all of the bottled, shaken up soda in front of Deidara and me, positioned and aimed at Hidan.

Hidan screeched with outrage as he and his room became soaked in soda-y goodness. I giggled as I whirled around, sprinting out of the room with Deidara right behind me. It wasn't long until Hidan was hurtling himself down the halls, quickly catching up to us.

"And now, our truce is over!" I laughed, sticking out my foot just in time for Deidara to connect with it and face-plant into the floor.

"You fucking traitor, un!" Deidara howled as I continued to laugh with glee and make my escape. I ran down another hallway before I effectively reached my safe point. Not that my safe point knew he was a safe point, but he was nonetheless.

I threw myself into Obito, knocking both of us down. Smiling widely, I sat on top of him.

"Deidara has been left to the vicious wolf, but I doubt he'll stay captured for long," I informed Obito.

"You tripped him, didn't you?" Obito accused.

"Yes; yes I did."

"GET BACK HERE, YOU FUCKING LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT-BITCH! MIA!"

"I think that's your cue to steal me away like the awesome best friend you are," I told Obito.

"It would be a bit of an annoyance if Hidan killed you," Obito agreed, moving to sit up. His Sharingan whirled to life and soon the two of us were safe inside his room.

"Ah, it's a wonderful thing to have the prank war back in action," I sighed happily.

Obito shifted a bit underneath me. "Are you going to get off me any time soon?"

"Nah. You're my safe point. What if Hidan bursts in here, or Deidara? So long as I stick with you, I can have a quick and safe get away."

Obito moved his shoulders in what was more than likely a shrug, though it looked a little weird as his scarf covered his shoulders pretty well and he was laying down.

"You know, I think we should go to a snow resort some time," I said.

"Kakuzu would have a heart attack. Do you know how expensive those things are?"

"And we're ridiculously rich, what's your point? I really want to go. I haven't seen snow once since coming here and damn it, I miss it."

Obito tilted his head. "I'll think about it. If you miss it enough to risk Kakuzu's wrath..."

"I do," I confirmed. "And I'll pretty much be giving the old miser numerous heart attacks this week with what I have in store for everyone. Naruto, my little genius, is a master at this. And I learned from the best."

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to call a truce?"

"Depends. Are you willing to continually be my safe point?"

"In exchange you won't prank me?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Then yes, I am willing."

"Excellent! Oh hey, wanna go make cookies?"

"Sugar addict."

"Says the man wearing the lollipop mask."

"I never said it was a bad addiction."

I giggled.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I nibbled a bit on a chocolate-chip cookie, watching with amused eyes as Deidara and Hidan's yelling grew progressively louder. It wasn't long after I placed the cookies in the oven that the Akatsuki members begin to drift in. Itachi was first, being the sugar addict that he was, and stole the nearest chair to the oven. I ended up sitting on the counter with Obito, knowing the rest of the members would be occupying the rest of the chairs. Kisame came next at a more sedate pace, picking a chair next to Itachi. Deidara was after that.

The blond terrorist had shot me an evil look, in which I so definitely scooted closer to Obito. He had smirked in victory before grabbing a chair. Sasori came next, though not for the cookies so much as to get away from Hidan. The Jashinist had been ranting about his religion and Sasori was getting increasingly annoyed. So he lead the Jashinist into the kitchen, pointed at the cookies, and left. Hidan, of course, stayed behind, grabbing another chair and glared at me and Deidara.

It wasn't long until Kisame, tired of the silence, engaged in a quiet conversation with Itachi, and with little prompting on Obito's part, Deidara joined in, followed by Hidan. Obito and I talked quietly to ourselves until the cookies were ready.

Many cookies later, only nine were left untouched on a plate. Hidan and Deidara were currently arguing over who got the last nine.

Sorry, eight, Itachi snuck one off.

Seven, Obito snuck one off and split it in half with me.

I nibbled quietly on my cookie. If those two were going to continue arguing over them, odds are they would be completely gone by the time they were done.

"Listen here, you fucking piece of shit—"

"Shut up, you ignorant—"

"—cock-sucking son of a bitch—"

"—useless immortal, un! You don't even have the chance to understand true—"

"—Oh save it, you wouldn't understand beauty if it fucked you—"

Obito placed his hands over my ears and pulled me a bit closer so he could properly cover them. I gave a sort of an annoyed grunt, but didn't bother trying to pull away. I moved my body a bit on the counter so I could rest my head on his legs and lay down. I watched as both of their faces grew a brighter red until Hidan finally grabbed the nearest thing—a glass—and threw it. Deidara dodged it with ease before snarling and pulling out a kunai.

"It's only a cookie," I muttered. "They know I can make more, right?"

Obito removed his hand long enough to whisper, "I think it's a matter of Hidan is still sore about the prank, Deidara is still sore about being caught, and both are just in the middle of a pissing contest."

While the two were preparing to engage in combat, Konan entered the kitchen. She spared them the briefest of glances before turning towards the cookies, grabbing the plate, and walking out.

I laughed at that, loudly enough to draw attention to myself.

"What, un?" Deidara asked irritably.

"Looks like no one gets the cookies anymore," I snickered, pointing towards the space where the cookies once were.

"The fuck?!"

"As much fun as it was watching the two of you have a pissing contest," Kisame drawled, "Itachi and I have a sparring match to attend to. Thank you for the cookies, Mia-chan."

"You're welcome, Kisame-kun," I said. "I needed the distraction and my sweet tooth demanded to be satisfied."

Kisame laughed heartily, standing up from the table. "Ah well, it's my turn to cook tonight."

"I can cover," I said quickly. "Seriously. I need the distraction or else I'll start having another anxiety attack because my—my—my—my—my—mymy—"

"Breathe Mia-chan, breathe!" Obito said quickly, reaching into the cabinet above us and pulling out a paper bag. He held it over my mouth.

Kisame shook his head, amused. Hidan snorted at my actions and Deidara snickered. Itachi merely stood up, patted me on the head once, and left. Kisame soon followed after him. Deidara and Hidan exchanged glances.

"Grounds 3, prepare to get your ass handed to you, un," Deidara said, smirking.

"Bring it on, fucking transy," Hidan sneered.

"Such language," Obito sighed dramatically.

Deidara rolled his eyes and Hidan sneered again before the two moved out of the kitchen.

Obito removed the paper bag. "Better?"

My nose crinkled and I shifted to look up at him. "I'm not panicking anymore for the moment, if that's what you mean."

"In a way," Obito mused. "I have the last piece required for your laptop, by the way. Perhaps working on that will help you."

I nodded my head. "Sounds like a plan."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

My shriek of joy was greeted with an amused and slightly annoyed chuckle from Obito who was taking a nap on his bed while I worked. I held up my so totally working