Disclaimer: I own a computer. That's about it.

Warning: References to destruction of property and addicts?

First Beta: featherstofly

Second Beta: Lavendor Queen

Editor: Sansho

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Don't worry, this is all on me," I said to a beaming Naruto. He was so, so, adorable. That kind of adorableness should be outlawed. It was dangerous.

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked, his eyes wide.

"Of course," I said confidently, sticking my hand out of the stand and into the street, palm outstretched. I could hear the slight flickering of movement before a giant wad of cash was placed into my hand, and I pulled it back into the stand. "See?"

"Whoa, where'd that money come from?" Naruto asked, his eyes widening even further.

As I handed the money to Teuchi, I gave Naruto a mysterious smile. "Who could say?"

Naruto gave me a bright and sunny grin in return, and even Teuchi smiled.

"So Naruto-chan," I began, "I'm actually looking for a place to live at. I don't suppose you know anywhere?"

As Naruto slurped his noodles, he continued to beam at me. "Well, the apartment that I live it is actually pretty empty except for a few shinobi—" Naruto stopped himself, his face burning bright. "A-Ah, but... I don't think you'd want to live there."

"How come?" I questioned.

Naruto steadily shifted his gaze down to the noodles. "It's... not a lot of people like living there."

I hummed thoughtfully. "I don't care about appearances if that's what you're worried about—that stuff can change. And money isn't an issue. So what's wrong with it?"

"I live—" Naruto's eyes widened, and he caught himself, his face taking on a redder hue.

"You live there so therefore something is wrong with it?" I repeated blandly. "Don't be absurd. I think it'd be pretty awesome to live next door to you. Besides, I'd prefer to live near someone I at least know."

"Really?" Naruto gaped at me, eyes lighting up with excitement.

I felt a twinge in my heart. It was a sad day indeed when a little boy was happy just at the prospect of someone actually wanting to be in the same space as him.

"Really," I assured him.

Naruto gave a tiny smile as he looked back down at his bowl of ramen, his face beaming.

Damn, he was so adorable. I want to adopt him.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"And here it is," Naruto said shyly at his front door. I smiled at him, and patted his head. He continued to smile shyly and blush sheepishly. So cute! How could anyone hate this?

Wow, I was starting to sound like an old lady.

Ah, hell with it. He was adorable, and so I would gush about him in my head.

"Thanks for showing me the apartment," I said with an easy smile. "I'll probably move in tomorrow, 'kay? So I'll see you then, Naruto-chan."

"H-Hai."

As Naruto went back inside, I tried to not giggle like a silly school girl from my first encounter with the sweet boy. I couldn't wait until I told Obito about it. But before I could do that, I leaned over the railing, peeping up at the rooftops above me. "ANBU? I'd like to inform Danzō-sama that I'll be staying in the apartment next to Naruto-kun's. How soon can I have some furniture?"

There was a small pause before one of the ANBU spoke, his or her voice icy smooth. "The apartment can be ready by early morning. Where do you wish to stay for the night?"

"I'll stay with Tobi," I answered. "We're supposed to meet up in half an hour anyway, so I'm sure he won't mind."

Neither of my escorts replied, and I didn't bother pursuing them for a conversation. It was time to head back to Danzō to be picked up by Obito.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I shifted nervously as I sat before Danzō and waited for Obito to show up to take me away. It was utterly quiet between the two of us and it was freezing. We were alone, or at least seeming to be. I had no doubt that there were multiple Root members stationed around the area.

Danzō stared at me, unabashed and apparently not planning on looking anywhere else any time soon.

Creeper.

"My subordinates inform me that you will be staying near Uzumaki Naruto," Danzō finally said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," I said. "Is that an issue?"

"Actually-"

"I hope I'm not late," Obito said as he strode into the room.

Only there was a slight difference.

While I originally met with Danzō it was a brief hello/goodbye thing. Obito and Danzō didn't say a word to me, and it was literally only a greeting. Obito and Danzō had done their talking and negotiations while I was outside of the room so...

For all of my life, or at least for as long as I can remember, Obito has been this goofy, geeky, adorable guy I have known and loved. He's the little dorky weirdo that I've shared all my secrets with, laughed and cried with and have experienced nearly everything with. He's laughed and cried right alongside me, and while he hadn't spilled his guts, I never particularly minded. Of course he had his serious sides and times—especially when he was caught in a debate against me, but for the most part he was Obito.

The point was, I had this image of Obito. If I could compare him to someone, I would say he would be like the goofy-Tobi on the show, only significantly less stupid.

Then all of a sudden this goofy little dork comes in with this intense and dark atmosphere and a smooth and dark voice to match it.

I was flabbergasted.

To me, it was the equivalent of seeing a tiny little baby holding an AK-47 and demanding some bitch to start bending over.

It didn't work.

Yet, here it was, and the two men in the room were acting as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

My stomach bubbled with giggles at the scene, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop them from coming out. My face was away from Danzō but Obito still saw it. He paused at my expression, and as he passed me he murmured softly to me, "You can stop grinning now."

"I am so trying, I swear," I whispered back, keeping my face away from Danzō until I could control it.

Obito sat next to me, relaxing in the plain gray couch with ease, as if he was a king on his throne and Danzō was another simpleton come to please him.

The giggles were getting harder to control.

Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, I chanted to myself.

"Is something wrong, Mia-san?" Danzō inquired.

Oh God, don't laugh Mia. Don't laugh. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it!

I ducked my head and whirled around and buried it into Obito's side, trying so hard not to laugh.

Obito was not badass. He was not. He was a dork, for heaven's sake, not a sexy badass!

"She's probably going through her withdrawals from her medication," Obito drawled, ignoring my look of aghast.

All traces of my laughter suddenly disappeared and I watched him carefully.

"Withdrawal?"

"Oh yes," Obito said. "I'm afraid my dear princess is quite the drug addict."

There was a tiny moment of peace before I kicked his foot underneath the table between Danzō and us, now shaking silently with restrained laughter once again.

"I... see."

I snorted, hoping desperately the sound was muffled enough to be dismissed.

"So has Mia-chan chosen her apartment yet?"

"Actually, we were just discussing it. It seems she's chosen to live with Uzumaki."

"And?"

"A little odd that out of all the places to live, she just so happens to befriend the—"

"Danzō, I don't care," Obito interrupted smoothly. "What good does befriending a jinchūriki have when she can't do anything with him? As you have already tested for yourself, she is no kunoichi or shinobi. We came here for sage-training with Jiraiya. If she becomes friends with an orphaned boy, I don't see the problem with it."

Danzō was quiet for a moment. "But you see—"

"Oh yes I do," Obito purred. "But I really don't care. It's your problem if the others have an issue with a foreigner befriending your own jinchūriki. If you had treated him better in the first place, then perhaps he wouldn't feel so inclined to be desperately in need of friends and attention."

Tense silence fell between the two. "As you wish, Madara-sama."

"Of course. If there is nothing else, we will be taking our leave. Come, Mia-chan."

Still unable to say anything, I ducked my head as Obito ported us out of Root and back to Kirigakure.

We landed on the bed and I busted out into a fit of giggles. Obito stared at me, unstrapping his mask and frowning. "What's so funny?"

"Y-You a-are n-n-not supposed to b-be so badass!" I managed to gasp out between bouts of laughter.

Obito blinked. "What?"

"You w-were so badass ba-back there. Wh-What happened to my d-dork?"

"He's still there," Obito said defensively. "And I can too be badass. Wait, you think I'm a dork?"

I only nodded as I giggled. Obito scowled.

"A-Aw don't b-be mad," I cooed, still giggling. "You kn-know I love you."

In great exaggeration Obito rolled his eyes with a sigh. "I don't know."

I grinned at him, moving across the bed to hug him tightly around the shoulders. After a moment he returned the hug, though his posture was a bit stiff. "I'm not a drug addict."

"I know. You're a ramen addict."

Choosing to ignore that, I leaned back, still grinning at him. "So how was your day?"

"It was a day," Obito sighed. "Did yours go any better? I take it you met Naruto?"

I nodded my head, smiling. "I did. You see..."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Bright and early the next morning, I yawned groggily as I followed Danzō to the Hokage's office. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and Danzō moved silently in front of me. After a while of walking down hallways that all appeared the same we finally stopped in front of an old styled door which Danzō opened without hesitation and strode in.

My mind was still processing the new information Obito had given me on this world. There were so many things left unexplained in the anime, things that didn't make sense. The biggest and (currently) the most important one to me was—why in the hell did everyone know about Naruto's status? You would think it would have been more beneficial to keep it an S-Rank secret from the civilians and majority of shinobi. You would think that being the Hokage, he would have been able to enforce that law a bit better.

Obito had explained to me, in a very plain manner, that it was one of the inherent flaws in the Konoha design. The council was composed of one representative from each of the ten leading clans in Konoha, the Hokage, fifteen of the leading councilmen (top merchants and the like), advisors, ANBU commander, Jōnin commander and T&I commander. The council was designed to give power to the civilians in an all shinobi village. This way it would encourage them to feel safer and inclined to stay close to Konoha, as the other villages did not do this (and for good reason if you asked me).

The council was entrusted with information, the highest being S-Rank. Anything above S was restricted only to the shinobi, and anything above SS, between the Hokage, advisors and commanders. At the time of the decision regarding Naruto, there was a division. Naruto was originally ranked only as an S-ranked secret (due to his status as a jinchūriki) and the council was divided. The civilians were fools and could not hold an objective opinion on Naruto and some consented that it was the shinobi's right to decide what to do with Naruto. That did not stop them, however, from encouraging for Naruto's demise.

The rest of the council was evenly split. Half wanted Naruto to be raised strictly as a weapon, the other half wanted to give him a normal life. Eventually the Hokage decided in favor of a more normal life and thus Naruto was shipped off to the orphanage. This did not bode well for the civilians but what could they do? They were civilians and Naruto was being strictly guarded by Konoha's elite shinobi.

So they ignored the Hokage's order and blabbed about Naruto's secret.

Despite it being a secret that was S-Ranked, and thus if leaked they were to be sentenced to death, they knew they were safe.

Not because Sarutobi was a soft fool nor because they had blackmail on anyone.

Because the Kyuubi's attack devastated Konoha. They lost half of their forces in one night and that alone caused them to lose roughly forty percent of their usual income from missions. Not to mention how much it ended up costing them to repair the majority of Konoha. Then there was the overall chaos and disorder from what was left in Konoha. It was a mess. The Hokage would not execute them, simply because Konoha needed their money more than ever, and if the Hokage was shown to be executing his own councilmen, it would have painted a very poor picture.

Not only had they painted themselves in a positive light by passing along this 'ever so important' information, but they were Konoha's councilmen. By killing them, the Hokage was proving to his people how Konoha was as weak in the government as it was physically. He couldn't do that to their spirits. It would have devastated them.

Would they have survived? Sure. But would they have been stable any sooner than a decade? No. And that was something he didn't want to risk.

Besides. The secret was out. What else could he do aside from keeping it from spreading even more so?

I had agreed with Obito, in the end, having civilians on a council for a shinobi government and village was plain stupid.

But that hadn't answered my question for why Naruto was still being so mistreated. Although, perhaps it had.

What could the Hokage do? He could explain to them (the councilmen and everyone else) the fundamentals of sealing jutsu. How if you sealed a kunai in a sealing scroll, the scroll was not the kunai—it was simply a 'prison' for the kunai. But his words would fall on deaf ears.

They didn't care if Naruto was a child. They didn't even really care he was a jinchūriki.

They wanted a scapegoat. They needed one. When you have your home, your family, your friends—everything—ripped away from you so cruelly, you cannot tell me that you wouldn't howl for a name to blame. In a way, by providing them a name and a target, it almost helped them cope.

Not that they deserved it, the little petty bastards.

They were blinded by their hatred, and deafened by their chosen ignorance. It wasn't fair or right in any way to blame that on a little boy who already lost so much himself.

The Hokage was doing all he could for Naruto, I knew that. I understood his hands were bound and no matter how much he wished it, he could not force the mass majority of people to feel something else, at least not without brutal force. But that would kind of put his morality into question.

I knew all of that. But it was still kind of hard not to be mad at him.

I suppose I was a hypocrite in that fashion.

I yawned again and followed Danzō, soon finding myself in the company of the Third Hokage.

And I stared.

"Nice to see you again, Hiruzen, thank you for seeing us," Danzō said, his tone giving me the impression that he couldn't care less about either statements.

Hiruzen gave Danzō a thin smile. "Well, I could hardly refuse when you were so persistent, now could I? What is it you wanted to discuss, Danzō?"

Danzō motioned to me with one hand. I gave Hiruzen a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of my head. "Hi, Hokage-sama, sir?"

"Hello," Hiruzen greeted. "How can I help you?"

"Uh," I said intelligently, glancing over at Danzō. Danzō stared back at Hiruzen.

"She has a genjutsu placed over her, release it and you can see what the issue is."

Hiruzen gave a small frown but nonetheless brought his hands up to form the release sign. After a quickly muttered kai, his eyes widened significantly and the pipe in his mouth fell free. It hit the table with a sharp ping.

"What... the hell..."

"You see," I began carefully, a little unsure of how he would take the information I was about to give him, "it seems that nature chakra has decided to kind of cling to me like a leech."

"I can see that," Hiruzen said blandly. "But why—"

"I don't have any chakra," I said with a longing sigh. "No chakra system whatsoever."

"That's not possible," Hiruzen replied, but he was eyeing me differently than he was before. In a way it reminded me of how bacteria might have felt underneath a microscope.

I didn't particularly like that feeling.

"Where I come from we don't have any chakra whatsoever," I said with a shrug. "When I came here, chakra nature started clinging to me which, I suppose, is not a good thing. I mean, I know how dangerous this stuff is and I really don't want it clinging to me. It hasn't done anything to me yet that I know of so I suppose it's not so bad but my buddy is guessing it'll only be a matter of time. So he asked Danzō-sama to see what he could do and Danzō-sama mentioned something about Jiraiya or whatever and how he had some knowledge over nature chakra and... here we are."

"A land with no chakra?" Hiruzen inquired incredulously. "Where exactly—?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" I asked right back. "Do you honestly think I'm going to tell a bunch of super powered shinobi who can use chakra where a land that has no defenses against them is? My homeland? Really?"

Hiruzen's lips twitched into a sort of wry smile. "I suppose that's fair."

I was totally lying. I was pretty sure my world could hold their own against the shinobi world. But it was better to play it this way than the truth. Then he might want to know how I got here in the first place, and somehow, I didn't think Obito would be very happy if I told them that.

"Will you assist us and summon Jiraiya-sama back?" Danzō inquired.

Hiruzen picked up his pipe, sweeping a few ashes off his desk before putting it back into place. He leaned back in his chair, eyeing both of us thoughtfully as he puffed out some smoke.

"You are not a shinobi or kunoichi," Hiruzen stated, looking at me.

"Nope," I agreed. "Just a harmless civilian."

"Do you want to be?"

"Hell no," I said, wrinkling my nose. "I don't do well with obeying orders and aren't I a bit old to start shinobi training? My ego wouldn't take it to be beaten out by some ten year olds."

Hiruzen chuckled.

"Not to mention this whole no-chakra –system I have going on here would probably get me killed if I was sent out on a real mission. I can't climb trees, walk on water, or do anything against a real opponent. I'd be dead in a heartbeat," I commented. "Which would be a bit of an annoyance. Definitely set my plans back a bit, I think."

"Indeed. Dying can be quite a nuisance," Hiruzen said dryly.

I nodded my head in agreement.

Hiruzen stared at me another moment before giving a slow sigh. "Very well. I will summon Jiraiya back and request he teach you well enough so that you are no longer a danger to yourself or anyone around you. He