"What's going on?" Nick questioned as he pulled me into his office not even half way through first block.

I rolled my eyes already irritated with our meeting, "You pulled me in here, you tell me."

He chose to ignore my blatant sass, "I wanted to check up on you and make sure you took your shot."

I folded my arms over my chest, "I thought you said it was MY diabetes..."

"It is your diabetes," He said mimicking my stance and folding his arms over his chest, "I'm making sure you're not slacking in your treatment."

"What does it matter to you if I slack on my treatment?" I questioned defensively, "it isn't your problem."

"You are a minor in my care so it is my problem." Nick said his tone slightly stern, "This isn't something to mess around with Cecelia, you do realize you could die from this disease if you are not careful."

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, I am well aware of the dangers of diabetes thank you. I'm not going to die today so calm down."

"You are my responsibility, which means I call the shots when it comes to your well-being. Do not tell me to calm down, I will worry as much as I please, I have a little more experience when it comes to this disease, I've had for the past 10 years. Take the correction."

"I am so sick and tired of feeling like I have no say over anything in my life, you may be in charge of me but this is MY body, you can't MAKE me take a correction." I challenged.

Nick raised his brow at my challenge. "No but I can make your life miserable and ground you."

"For WHAT?? I didn't do anything!" I spat.

"You are seriously trying my patience with this attitude young lady," Nick's tone was now fully irritated.

"I don't have an attitude," I defended, "you are the one that pulled me in here and started trying to tell me how to manage MY diabetes, something that you said you weren't going to do this morning in the car and then because I'm not managing things the way YOU think I should you threaten to ground me?"

"I have been very tolerant of your behavior lately because I know that what you are going through is not easy but my patience is running very thin." He warned, "Either take that correction and get yourself straightened out or I will straighten you out myself am I understood?"

"Fine," I conceded with a sigh, "are we done here?"

"I mean it, straighten yourself out or I will, I am done with the attitude." He reminded before grabbing the handle on the door and releasing me back to class.

***

By lunch I was slowly morphing back to feeling normal. I had taken heed to Nick's warning and taken my correction as soon as first block was over. My little diabetic rebellion was fun while it lasted but I did not want Nick 'straightening me out' the last thing I needed was to add grounding or a blistered butt to my list of ills. Opening my locker I deposited my books inside before slamming the door closed to reveal Matt.

"Can I help you?"

Matt let out a sigh, "Can we talk?"

I shrugged only giving him a fraction of my attention, "Talk."

"I'm sorry for the way I acted the other day at your house," He said dipping his head to lock his eyes with mine. "I was a jerk."

"To put it lightly," I added, Matt nodded in agreement.

"You were yelling at me and I got defensive...it's just..." Matt paused bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck nervously, "I know that I wasn't there for you when I should have been but, you and I had a good thing going before and I don't know what I did to make you hate me or how to fix it."

I let my shoulders slump with a sigh as a wave of guilt washed over me, "Matt, I don't hate you."

"It doesn't seem that way," he argued, his eyes sad. I resisted the urge to hug him.

"It's just my body has been so out of whack lately, I feel like I have no control and it is driving me crazy." I confessed. "I was feeling like crap AGAIN and then I heard you and Joe talking about us getting back together like I had no say in the matter and I just went nuts. I don't hate you, I just feel like crap all the time and nothing I do seems to make any difference, I guess it's just easier to have someone to be mad at, at least I can control that. It wasn't all about you."

"Someone to be mad at...," Matt repeated dropping his head, "I've liked you for a really long time Cee and I feel like we FINALLY got together and I lost you... I'm not too good at losing."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," he said cutting me off before clearing his throat. "I got a new guitar; I was wondering if it would be ok with you if Nick continued to give me lessons?"

I shrugged, "That is up to Nick, not me."

"It's your house." I smiled realizing he was letting me call the shots.

"If it's fine with Nick, it's fine with me."

A smile tugged at Matt's lips, "Thanks Cee."

I nodded giving him a small smile, "I should go."

"Lunch with Josh." He said knowingly, another wave of guilt washed over me.

"Matt I..."

Matt held up his hand and shook his head, it was clear he didn't want to hear what I had to say. "Bye Cee," He said before taking off down the corridor and out of sight. I let out an exasperated sigh and walked out through the large front doors into the courtyard where Josh was sitting on the bench waiting.

"There you are, I thought maybe you stood me up," He joked before seeing the sad look on my face. "What's wrong?"

"I ran into Matt," I said plainly, Josh's face immediately turned hard as he clenched his jaw, "He was nice." I added.

"If he was nice then why do you look so sad?" he questioned confused.

"Because, he was nice." I repeated, the words struggling to leave my throat as I found myself on the verge of crying.

Josh cocked a brow in confusion, "o...k Would you rather him be a dick?"

"Well...yea actually." I admitted.

"O...K...," He repeated making me sigh

"I've been a major bitch to him and when he was being an ass I felt justified but when he is nice to me I feel bad." I explained. "And the worst part is that I realized the main reason I have been such a bitch is because it makes me feel better being able to blame and be mad at someone for all the shit that is going on in my life rather than admitting that my body is completely out of my control."

"I'm sorry -" He started as I put my hand up and stopped him in his tracks. "Please don't apologize. I don't need the pity. I'm going to go attempt to get my phone back from Joe." Not waiting for Josh's response I stood and headed towards Joe's room preparing to put on my best puppy dog face.

Hesitantly, I stood in his doorway as he looked over a stack of papers in front of him. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, come on in." I stepped through the threshold and made my way across the room to stand in front of his desk.

"I'm sorry for my bad attitude lately, I took my correction and I am feeling a lot more human now."

I watched as my older brother stacked the papers together he had been reading by tapping them on the desk and removing his glasses before focusing on me with a stern look.
"Unlike Nick, I am not willing to idly stand by and let you get away with bad behavior because of diabetes. I accept your apology. I know you are having a rough time and that your attitude is in direct correlation with that but just know diabetes is not a get out of jail free card with me, you will be held accountable for your bad behavior."

"I understand, so, can I have my phone back?" I asked putting on my best puppy dog face, "Please."

"I'm not finished." Joe said standing from his chair and pointing a reproving finger in my direction. " I've had enough of your attitude. Everyone keeps telling me it's normal and that you're just testing your boundaries but if you keep pushing, I promise you that you will not like the end result."

"I'm sorry."

Joe looked at me sadly before shaking his head. "Your sorrys are running out of steam Cecelia . You can only say sorry so many times before it loses it's meaning. Start showing some actions along with the sorrys and I might start believing them. I understand you have a new challenge with diabetes but you can't blame everything on your disease . . . a lot of it has to do with you as an individual.

I looked at the ground as he let out a frustrated growl. "So now what?"

"Now you start taking full responsibility for your actions. Nick and I aren't stupid . . . we know you have a window that leads to a climbing tree seemingly perfect for sneaking out, we all know you are aware of this fact because you have already demonstrated how well you can climb in and out of a window. Now if you were smart, you would realize that Nick and I are onto your game, we know you snuck out again Friday night, Nick suggested we let it slide and I went along with it but consider it your last pass. Heed my warning." Joe paused. "Also, I expect you to be responsible about waking up and with your homework; making sure it's completed as well as having it ready to hand in every morning. And lastly, the attitude needs to change, sooner rather than later. The blatant disrespect pisses Nick and I off more than you know and the fact that you have been disrespectful more recently is pushing us to the edge."

I stood there trying to digest the massive ass-handing my big brother had just administered, I guess I had it coming but never had I anticipated the magnitude as to which it would hit. He knew about me sneaking out to see Josh? How was I not dead right now? I know that Nick understands what I am going through but it seemed very out of character for him to simply let me get away with such an offense of the rules...was he still riddled with guilt over my diagnosis or what?

"Cecelia Marie" Joe's warning tone brought me out of my long string of inner monologue questioning. "Have you listened to a single word I have said?"

"Yes Sir, no sneaking out, be more responsible...change my attitude." I repeated bringing my eyes up to meet Joe's.

Joe's eyes met mine and he smirked, "You seem a little surprised that we knew..."

I nodded "A little, yea."

"Don't be," he said his words sharp, "There is very little you do that we don't know about." His words caused a lump to form in my throat as I nodded my head letting him know I understood. "Have you eaten lunch yet?"

"No...not yet."

Joe handed me my phone taking his seat again in his chair, "Better go do that." His instruction was simple and I did not hesitate to take the opportunity to bolt out of his room and away from Joe's disapproving tone.