Matt

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3:30PM

I paced the cemetery waiting for Matt to show up. Looking at my parents' grave, I sighed before sitting down.

"I know you always said that God gives you a challenge because He knows you will be able to handle it but I seriously think God has over estimated my ability to deal." I whined. "I wish you were here with me, I miss you both so much." I heard crunching of leaves as I finished my thought with Mom and Dad and turned to see Matt. "I was wondering if you were going to show up."

"I had my reservations." Matt admitted. His hands were shoved in his pockets as he looked at me sadly. "How have you been?"

"Better." I said giving him a small smile.

He nodded. "So what's going on with you? There are so many rumors floating around school, I was getting worried."

"Rumors? What rumors?"

Matt shifted uncomfortably. "Everything from cutting to eating disorders. I also heard that the reason you collapsed is because you have cancer and you're going to die."

Laughing loudly, I stood up clutching my stomach trying to catch my breath. "THAT Matthew is why you should never listen to rumors.  I have diabetes and for the past few days I have been on a crash course learning how to manage the disease."

"Oh so you're going to be ok?" He asked perking up a bit from the news of me not dying.

Nodding, I stepped closer to him. "I am, but it's a disease, I'll have it for the rest of my life."

Matt seemed to dismiss my comment as he reached out and tried to grab my hand. "Well now that you're going to be alright does that mean we can give us another shot?"

Slightly irritated by his assumption that since I was no longer dying we would magically get back together I retracted my hand "Is that why you didn't come see me, because you thought I was dying?"

"That was part of it." He admitted scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Sighing, I glared at him. "You could have known what was going on if you had bothered to come see me. Do you know how hurt I was when you couldn't even show up to see if I was alright?"

"I was scared Cee! After hearing the rumors I just wasn't prepared to see you curled up dying in a hospital bed." He defended.

"You could have talked to one of my brothers, they would have told you what was going on." Shaking my head, I turned towards my parents' grave. "Instead you just chose to believe the rumors...AGAIN."

"I'm sorry, I never said I believed the rumors, I just didn't know what was going on with you. I wasn't sure if you would want me around, last time we spoke you weren't exactly happy with me but you are right, I should have made an attempt to visit you at the hospital." He sighed. "I'm so sorry Cee, Please give me another chance."

"Things are crazy right now Matt, I need to sort through some stuff before I add a boyfriend back into the mix." Looking up at him, I noticed his jaw harden in frustration. "I'm sorry but there is too much going on for me to attempt a relationship with you or anyone else right now."

His eyes locked with mine. "Anyone else? You are thinking of dating someone else?"

"If and when I'm ready to date, it may or may not be you." I spat irritated.

"So why the hell did you invite me out here then?" Matt said sharply.

"Because I wanted to clue you in on what's been going on. Clearly you're still the pompous ass you were a few days ago." I said turning to leave the cemetery in a huff.

"Cee, wait, I'm sorry." Matt pleaded running up in front of me to block my exit. "You are right...I have been an ass...I'm not going to lie, I saw the way that new kid Josh looked at you and it made me nervous. When I started hearing rumors about you and him I...I just lost it. I have been going insane these past few days not knowing what was going on with you or if you were ok. When you texted me and asked me to meet I just...I just assumed that you had forgiven me for being such a jerk and were ready to try us again. If you need time, take it...but please know that I am sorry and that I really do care for you and I will be here waiting if you decide you are willing to give me another shot."

I sighed before giving Matt a small smile and wrapping my arms around him in a hug. "Thank You."

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