Her POV
We sat and watch as josh talk to Breanna like she was his best friend and almost had sex with her I just broke down and cry in Sara's arms
I can't believe after everything have done I'm still losing my husband it hurt so much I just want to ripe out my heart and die
S- Lola you need to stop are you are going to have another panic attack
L- it...hurt.....
S- I know but you have to think of your kids you can't let them see you like this
L- oh my God the kids
S- it's ok I text Tom and ask him to pick them up
L- thanks let me go and have a shower you can turn that off there is nothing else for us to see
S- ok I'll start on dinner
L- thanks Sara for everything
S- don't mention it go have a sower and clean yourself up before the kids get here
L- ok
I make my way upstairs and got in the shower I didn't even wait for the water to warm up before getting in
I started crying again and drop to the floor I was crying so hard I didn't feel the water getting cold and and Sara opening the door and turning off the shower
S- Lola come on I know you are hurting but the kids are downstairs having their dinner they want you to join them you been in here for two hours
L- I can't stop it hurt so bad he want her and not me why don't he love me anymore he said he love me and he got me last night so why not now I know I should have said something to him last night but I just wanted to wait until we talk before I tell him how I feel
S- you can still tell him maybe it's not too late
L- it is
S- but why is it because he kiss her
L- no I don't care about that have done worst to him

S- then what is it
L- he know what I'm capable of
S- Lola yes you did some fuck up thing but you are a good person
L- no I'm not
S- yes you are I would have done the same thing if I was in your position
L- you are only saying that you said but I can't leave her lock up for the rest of her life for telling a few lies
S- yeah I said that but when I think that what if that was Tom I would have done the same thing so get up and get dress and come and have dinner with your kids and tomorrow you go and talk to your husband he call before
L- and what did you say
S- I didn't answer and I don't think you should either you two need to talk face to face
L- ok I'm going to get dress before I freeze to death
S- good idea I'll wait for you downstairs
So I got up and got dress and make my way downstairs and put a smile on my face and make my way in the dining room
L- hey everyone
K- mummy I miss you
L- I'm sorry mummy just had some business to take care of but that's it now I'm all yours
JJ-good so you are picking us up from school tomorrow
N- and the day after
Liam- and the day after that
L- yes everyday apart from when your daddy are grandma or auntie Sara pick you up
K- ok
L- sorry Tom how are you doing and congratulation
T- yes I'm ok and thank you so Sara told you
S- I was too excited I have to tell someone and you can't tell me you haven't told josh
Hearing is name make me want to cry again but when I look at my beautiful kids I know I have to pick myself up and carry on for them
T- no I didn't I was going to at lunch but he had somewhere to be
S- a meeting right
T- Y....Yeah
S- what was that
L- Sara leave the man alone
S- no I want him to answer me without all that stuttering
L- Sara you are my best friend as Tom is josh
I look at her hoping she would get what I mean then she look at me and I could see that she got what I mean that she would lie for me so she can't be upset with Tom for doing the same for josh
L- so kids how was your day at school
JJ- it was good mummy they are talking about letting me skip again
L- again that's going to be your third time skipping JJ- yeah they want to meet with you and dad they are going to call you
L- ok how about you Nat and Liam
N- oh I got a A on my maths test
L- that's good baby really good
Liam- the teacher told me that my reading is getting so good she is going to change my colour
L- I'm so proud of you guys and I know your dad is going to be too
N- can we call him
L- tomorrow before you go to school you can
K- ok
L- now go up and get ready for bed I'll be up to read to you soon
N- can aunt Sara read to me
L- you will have to ask her
JJ- yeah can Uncle Tom read to me
T- go to bed we will be up to read to you
Liam- you going to read to me mummy
L- yes baby
With that the kids went up to get ready for bed and we clean the table and wash the dishes after we went up and read to the kids and they all drop asleep so we make our way back downstairs
S- do you want me to stay the night Lola
L- no you go home I don't think Tom can spend one more night away from you
S- are you sure because Tom will be ok
L- I'm sure now go
With that I open the door for them and watch as they got in there cars and drive off
I make my way inside and turn off all the light and go to my bedroom where I change in my night dress and got in bed I turn on my laptop and look at Breanna sleeping with a smile on her face and so wish that was me sleeping with that smile on my face I turn off my laptop and lay down and think about everything that happen over the pass year and start crying again
I was lay in my bed crying until I heard the doorbell so I pick up my phone to see the time and see 30 miss call from josh and a few text Sara must have put my phone on silent before she left when I look at the time I see that it was 2 o'clock in the morning
I make my way downstairs knowing it's Sara worrying about me and couldn't sleep
I open the door
L- Sara I told you I was o Josh what are you doing here
J- we need to talk
So he couldn't sleep worrying about his girlfriend
L- come in
J- have you been crying