41

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

"Have you seen Asher play?" I asked Bella, who was rifling through my closet. "I mean, since the first time we did?"

"No," she told me, tossing an article of clothing towards me. "That was the first and only time."

"Hmm," I let out, looking down at the clothes she had just given me. I held up the small red dress, inspecting it closely. It looked way too much for what we had planned for the night. It belonged sooner in a night club than it did at the abandoned pool we were going to.

"Don't question me," Bella said instantly, as if she knew what I was thinking. Likely, because she did. "Have I ever steered you wrong in the fashion department before?"

"You've never suggested I wear a mere scrap of fabric to an outdoor party where your boyfriend is playing rock music," I muttered, shooting her a puzzled look.

Bella turned from the clothes she was looking at, a small smile on her face. "My boyfriend?"

"What?" I shrugged, "you don't consider Asher to be your boyfriend?"

"We haven't had that talk yet," Bella answered, her eyes glazing over slightly. "I'm not opposed to it, it just sounded nice."

"Yeah, well tell Asher to buck up and ask already," I told her, surrendering to her fashion knowledge and heading to the bathroom to put on the tiny red dress. I left the door open, so we could continue our conversation.

"I'll tell him you said that," she teased, "but... what about you?"

"What about me?" I asked her, as I slid the fabric over my head, allowing it to drop down over my body.

"What about me?" Bella mocked me, "you know exactly what I'm asking about you."

I let out a short laugh, trying to avoid her question. "You know, you're becoming more and more like Asher with each passing day."

"Don't avoid the question. Do you consider Chase to be your boyfriend?" Bella finally asked me directly.

I was silent, choosing to observe myself in the mirror instead. I looked good, with my long hair curled just perfectly, and the makeup job that Bella did sitting flawlessly on my skin. The red dress was tight silk, and it hugged my curves in a way that made it seem like it was made just for me. I looked like the kind of teenage girl that I used to be, one who had no meaningful problems. I didn't look like the girl that I felt like, one with a mind that was restless with confused and deep emotions, ones that I'm sure shouldn't be present so young.

I walked out of the bathroom, knowing Bella was going to be ready to press me on the question that I hadn't answered. Sure enough, she was sitting on my bed with her arms crossed, looking at me expectantly. Though, as she caught sight of me, she let out a short whistle, her eyes taking in her finished work.

"See?" She asked me, a smug smile on her lips. "I told you not to question me."

"You don't think it's a bit much? It looks like we're going to a club in Miami," I protested, tugging on the short dress.

"I have my reasons," Bella chimed out, inspecting her manicure.

"Yeah?" I asked her, walking back into my closet to find a pair of shoes. "What reasons are that?"

"For Chase to blow a load when he sees you," Bella said as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

"Oh my goodness, you are sick," I laughed out, my hands skimming a pair of black heels.

"Which brings me right back to the question that you so skillfully dodged," Bella continued, causing me to curse under my breath. "What is Chase to you?"

I sighed, bending down and sliding the shoes onto each of my feet. "I don't know. I like him, he seems to like me."

"Seems to," Bella laughed out. "He likes you, for sure."

"He was weird today," I explained, shaking my head. "When I got in trouble for talking to Brock in English, he looked pissed, and then he left without saying anything to me."

"Aw," Bella gushed, "he's jealous. That's so cute."

"He has no reason to be jealous," I reminded her. "We're not dating, and even if we were, Brock is just my friend."

"You're forgetting something," Bella told me, causing me to look up at her. She grinned, shaking her head. "Boys are stupid."

I rolled my eyes, but, I had to admit, she had a point.

"What else?" Bella asked me, "what else is holding you back?"

I looked back at her, surprised she was able to decipher what was on my mind even when it wasn't currently present.

"Tell me," she urged me, causing me to sigh again.

"I just..." I started, remembering the conversation I had with Brock today. "I feel like we're moving on without her."

Bella's face fell, just for a second, before she patted the bed beside her. I took the hint, moving across the room and sitting beside her. She grabbed my hand once I was there, taking it in both of her own.

"I know," she said gently. "I feel it too. Like, I feel guilty that I have moments where I'm not thinking about her. I feel guilty when I have moments that I'm genuinely happy, because it feels like I shouldn't be happy when she can't be happy. Like, I only have room for missing her. I know, Indie, I feel it too."

I nodded, my soul feeling the relief that once again, Bella was on this horrible journey of grief beside me. I don't know how I would have navigated these seas without her.

"But," she continued, "it's not true."

"What's not true?"

"There's room for both," Bella said. "We can miss her, and love her, and need her while still living. And, I don't know, maybe there's a piece of us that was lost with her, that we will never see again. A piece of each of us that will always belong to Isla... but the rest of us is still here on this earth."

"The hardest part of grief is finding the part of you that died with them," I repeated Chase's words from the time we spent at the field, maybe he had been exactly right.

Bella was silent for a moment, as she seemingly spun my words around in her mind. "Exactly. And, like I said, maybe that part of us will always be with her, maybe we'll never find it again, but it's not fair to the rest of us that is still here to not feel anything other than pain. Isla wouldn't want that either."

"I know," I agreed, "I know she wouldn't want that, but..."

"No buts," Bella interrupted me, squeezing my hand. "Not buts, Indie. Don't let yourself lose a protentional relationship with a great guy because you lost her. It won't bring her back, all that will happen is that you'll lose two people instead of one."

***

With Bella's words still echoing in my mind, we drove down the long and empty road that had confused us so much the first time we drove it. It was quiet in the car, with only the speaker playing music at a reasonable volume. I think we were both digesting the conversation we just had.

And, I knew it was a conversation that I needed to hear. Bella was right, of course. Living my life in guilt wasn't going to bring Isla back. I understood it, but it didn't erase the feeling that Isla's ghost was in my backseat, driving with us like she had been so many times.

"Here," Bella pointed out the turn off to the small parking lot. Just like last time, it was filled with cars.

As I pulled in, the nerves erupted like lava from a volcano in my stomach. Though, those nerves didn't logically make sense.  We had done this very thing before, we had seen Asher and Chase play their music, but everything was different this time. I was different, Bella was different. Maybe Chase and Asher were the same, but our feelings for them were completely changed.

"Do we know where we are going?" I asked Bella as I parked the car.

She looked down at her phone, seeming reading a text message. "Asher said to take the path and we'll find it."

"Oh," I let out, laughing as I opened my door. Bella did the same, and we met each other towards the rear of my car. "So, he could come and get us when we were practically strangers, but now that you two are having sex, its find your own way?"

Bella shoved me, as we reached the path. It was harder this time to navigate the uneven grounds in our heels. Bella hadn't let me come overdressed alone, she chose a similar dress to me but in white.

"We're late," Bella muttered, "Asher said they were supposed to play ten minutes ago but they waited for us."

"That's sweet," I let out, though I knew Chase wasn't thrilled about playing in front of me.

"They're sweet," Bella added, and I nodded to agree with her. She was right, they were.

The path opened up, and before us lay a now familiar scene. The empty pool, and the crowds of kids we didn't know around it. Some of them looked our way as we walked across the cement, like last time the confusion of why we were here was evident on their faces. Their band set was already assembled, and people were surrounding the area, as if they were eager for the show to start.

"Bella!" I heard Asher's voice before I saw him, we both turned in the direction of his voice. Though, my eyes didn't focus on him for long. Chase was behind him, and though he had the aura that I remembered the last time I saw him sing, the one where he exudes confidence and sex appeal, the Chase I knew was there too this time.

I had to hold my breath at how good he looked, the butterflies in my stomach were flowing freely just at the sight of him. It was funny, wasn't it? At some point, I had become the shy one around him.

Chase's eyes remained on mine for only a second, they travelled down my body the second after that. His eyes grew wide as he took in my dress, and he finally dropped his eyes to the ground, just momentarily as he shook his head.

"Indie," he said my name as he closed the distance between us. Though, to my surprise, his hand instantly went to my waist. He pulled me into his chest, his hand moving to my lower back as he applied pressure. He hugged me for a moment, before stepping back. Though, his hand remained attached to me.

"Indie," he said again, his eyes dropping down to my dress again. He took longer this time, and I internally squirmed under his gaze. "I, uh, wow you look amazing. I mean, you really look beautiful."

"Thank you," I blushed as I said it, though I still felt silly for being so underdressed, a part of me was thanking Bella for her choice.

"Chase, we got to go play," Asher said from beside us, pulling away from Bella and walking back towards the band area.

"Yeah," Chase said, shaking his head. He was still looking at me, though this time his eyes were glued to my face. "I'll be right there, man."

Chase's hand finally moved from my back, he grabbed my hand instead. He rubbed his thumb over my skin, pulling me even closer towards him. "I'm glad you came Indie, I really am. I, uh, hope you like it."

"I'm going to love it," I assured him, fighting to keep my voice even. Something about the way Chase was looking at me, it felt like he was trying to start a fire inside me. And it was working.

Chase looked back towards the band, who were all staring at him as if to tell him to hurry up. He looked back towards me, as if debating whether to leave or say what he wanted. It seemed he made the decision, pulling me back into his chest so suddenly I let out as gasp.

He put his mouth at my ear, and I almost melted into a puddle at the feeling his breath on my skin gave me.

"I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to focus on anything other than how fucking good you look, Indie," Chase whispered to me, "but don't leave my sight while I'm up there, okay? I need to see you while we play, okay?"

I was stunned at his words, no doubt his alter ego came out whenever he was performing, or about to. It made me feel the same way it did the first time I experienced it, flustered as fuck.

"Okay," I barely chocked out.

Chase nodded, I felt the movement beside my head. He turned, pressing a kiss to my cheek, before he jogged back to the band. I stood there without moving a muscle while he did so, breathless in the best way.

"Well, well, well," Bella said, breaking my trance, though my eyes remained on Chase, who had taken his place at the microphone.

"Shut up," I told her, not needing to see her to know what face she had on. It was the smug one, again.

Bella didn't get the chance to answer, Chase began speaking.

"Alright, guys. I know, I know, we're sorry for keeping you all waiting. You know we love playing for you guys, but we had to wait for some special guests," Chase spoke into the microphone, and his eyes locked onto mine.

"I had to wait for the girl I wrote this song about," Chase let out, and my heart stopped.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net