Chase surprised me, like he usually does. He didn't bring his camera back to his face and continue to take his pictures.

He dropped his camera completely, allowing it to swing against the straps that were secured around his neck, preventing it from freefalling and breaking once it hit the ground. He kept the same concerned look on his face as he walked towards me, until he was only inches away. He lowered himself onto the ground, slowly enough that I wondered what he was doing, but quickly enough that it was done before I could question it.

I only looked towards him instead, the question of why he wasn't taking pictures like he should have been in my eyes. He simply patted the grass beside him, telling me without any words that he wanted me to join him.

I didn't hesitate, practically collapsing off my feet in one swift motion as I fell to the ground beside him. Once I was there, my eyes followed an invisible line to where his hand was resting on the green ground, so close to my leg that we were almost touching.

"Is, uh, that how you feel?" Chase asked me, his voice hesitant. I pulled my eyes from his hand, wondering if I was as crazy as I felt for measuring the distance between us. Distance, that didn't seem important to him in the slightest.

I raised my eyebrows at his question, not understanding what he was expecting for an answer.

"What?" I asked him, tilting my head.

"Anger?" Chase's voice was a bit nervous, like he wasn't sure if he should be asking me what he was asking me.

"Like, am I angry right now?" I queried, noting that we were simply asking each other questions that neither of us were really answering.

"Right now, or..." Chase paused as he eyed me again, "in general I guess. After, you know, what happened at the school."

"Ah," I sighed out, as I stretched my feet out from the way they had curled under my body. I must have underestimated the distance between Chase's hand and my body, because my leg brushed against it as I moved, Chase's fingers brushing against my upper thigh.

"Oh, shit, Indie," Chase muttered as he pulled his hand away like my body was fire and his fingers were burnt. "My bad, that was an accident, I, uh, didn't..."

"Chase," I said, interrupting his rambling once again. "It's fine."

"Okay," he said, and I noticed this time his eyes were the ones that traced the invisible line that measured the distance between us. He only traced it for a second, before his eyes found mine again. "Anyways, we were talking about you being angry."

I sighed, the conservation we were just having popping back into my head. "Am I angry? I mean... I guess, sometimes. Evan made me angry. Do you think I went too far?"

"No," Chase said instantly, and I felt relieved. "He deserved it."

"He really did," I agreed.

"It's just, uh, I guess I've noticed you don't like to make scenes at school, usually. You don't really force yourself to be the center of attention, it kind of..."

"Just happens to me," I finished his sentence for him, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

I've always noticed it, it was hard not to. Bella, Isla and I weren't usually loud, or obnoxious. We didn't demand the spotlight, sometimes it just found us.

"Yeah," Chase nodded. "So, I just wanted to make sure this wasn't..."

"A breakdown?" I interrupted him again, causing him to tilt his head as he observed me. "Maybe it was, I guess. I don't know."

"What do you mean?" Chase asked me, and he seemed to be listening to every word I was saying, taking each individual one in.

I let out a breath as I contemplated my words. "It's just like you said, when you were taking pictures, about anger being the second stage of grief. I knew that, because I think the first thing that happens when you lose someone, is that they tell you about the stages of grief. So, you read them, and you memorize them, because even some stranger's map of what your pain is going to look like is better than nothing, right?"

"Right," Chase answered my rhetorical question.

"So, you kind of expect what's going to happen. You expect that you're going to be in denial, and then you're going to get angry, and then you're going to bargain... and for a second it all seems so simple," I explained, remembering all the times our therapist had told Bella and I about the stages.

"But, it's not simple, is it?" Chase finished my sentence this time.

I rolled my lips together as I looked back up at him. The crease between his eyebrows was so prominent, as he looked towards me.

"No, it's not," I told him. "Nothing about it is simple. Like, from where I'm standing now, I can see where I was in denial. I can see it now, but when I was there, I couldn't. I couldn't see anything. And, I guess I'm left to wonder if I'll be blind forever. Will I always have to second guess myself, will I always have to ask myself whether this is a real emotion or it's just the grief again?"

I was barely talking to Chase at this point, mostly because I knew he wouldn't have the answers for me.

"I don't think so," Chase told me, surprising me once again. "The hardest part of grieving someone is trying to find the part of you that died with them."

I was silent as Chase spoke, the gravity that he knew grief personally weighing in on me.

"But," Chase continued, "you will find it. I don't know when you will, Indie, but, you'll find the part of you that was with Isla when she left."

I nodded my head at his words, wondering how it was possible he knew that I have always said that Isla had a part of my soul.

"My uncle," Chase answered my unspoken question. "In case you were wondering."

"I'm sorry," I said softly, feeling bad that I had never known this about him. "When?"

"A long time ago," Chase told me, and his eyes glazed over like I'm sure mine do when I remember Isla. "I was only 12, but he was my best friend. So, like I said before, I can never imagine what you're going through Indie, but maybe I can at least give you hope that as time goes on, while you never stop missing them, it stops hurting so much."

I was watching Chase, even after he spoke, the way his eyes were softened as they glanced between the ground, and my own eyes. I could see the vulnerability, the hesitancy he had in sharing this with me. I could see the sympathy, and the empathy that he was feeling. And, noticing all of that... it only reminded me of what I felt, and why I felt it.

"What are you thinking about?" Chase asked me, his voice was low enough it could be considered a whisper. His question reminded me that I was simply sitting here, staring at him. Though, I didn't move my eyes away, no, I kept on staring.

"Indie?" Chase asked me again, and his eyes flickered down to my lips, a movement so quick that I almost missed it.

"I'm just thinking about how thoughtful you are," I told him, and my face moved towards him. I wasn't sure if I was moving it on purpose, or if I was simply being pulled to Chase like he was a magnet.

"And, how nice you are to me," I continued, until our faces were close enough that I'm sure he could feel my breath. "And, how you make me feel better."

"I make you feel better?" Chase echoed, and this time his voice was definitely a whisper. His eyebrows were furrowed again, the crease between them back. Though, I couldn't miss the way his eyes were moving down to my lips this time.

"Yeah, you do," I told him, feeling chills on my skin. "You make me forget sometimes."

"Forget what?" Chase asked me in a sigh. I could be wrong, but I swear his face was moving towards mine this time.

"All the pain," I told him truthfully, and I lost all the doubt that he wasn't moving, because now I could see that he definitely was.

I took a breath, my eyes locked onto Chase's, feeling unlike any other time I was about to have a first kiss. Those other times, I felt confident, I felt in control. This time, I simply felt like I was about to fly.

I about to close my eyes, as our lips were almost touching, when Chase's phone rang instead.

We both pulled away at the same time, as though the sound of his phone was enough to break the trance we had been in. I clenched my jaw in disappointment while Chase cursed under his breath. I crossed my arms in awkwardness, trying to advert my eyes as Chase pulled his phone from his pocket.

Like I said, I tried to advert my eyes.

I didn't succeed, seeing the name Poppy, and the picture of the pretty brunette from the hallway fill his phone screen.