"Good morning to all of our audience wherever it is you are joining us from," Josiah Lyle, the ESPN reporter speaks kicking off the morning segment of Sports Center. "It's a bright morning here in the city of Los Angeles."

"Today, Mark Spencer, a three-time NCAA Division I swimming champion, joins us live today on Sports." Josiah pauses. "Mark, it's good to have you in the studio with us today as we gear up for the kick-off the road to the NCAA Division I Championship."

"Thank you for having me Josiah," Mark pauses. "It's a good day in the world of college swimming."

"It is, today we kick off the long-awaited part of the NCAA swimming season, personally my favorite," Josiah adds. "We've talked about it before on this show, but this is where true champions are born Mark."

"I agree Josiah, this part of the season, makes or breaks teams." Mark pauses. "They get tested in ways, they've never been tested before."

"There's been a lot of talk going around now that the playoffs are kicking off," Josiah pauses. "Who's taking home the gold at the end of the road?"

"The thing about this Josiah is that every season is different, even if during the last years we've had the same dominant teams, you never know who's going to rise to the occasion," Mark adds. "With that being said, there's no denying that the favorites are the favorites for a reason. Their spectacular performance during the regular season speaks for itself."

"Mark here is referring to our raining champions OHSU, coming in with only one loss this regular season and BGU with a record-breaking regular season." Josiah pauses. "They were the team to beat this year with their perfect record. But Mark I have to ask, will they be able to continue breaking records or will they end up falling short like last season?"

"In another time, I would've answered your question with they may end up falling short, but taking a look at their times and their performance analysis, I say that they will continue to break records," Mark replies. "They're the team to beat this season, to me, there is no doubt that they will be the ones taking home the gold on finals night. OHSU has its work cut out if they want to add another trophy to their trophy case."

"I agree with you there Mark, but I'm not convinced yet," Josiah says and I roll my eyes. "Later tonight we kick off the road to the finals with our first two matchups. BGU takes on ASU and LSU takes on FSU. Any predictions Mark?"

"I have BGU taking the first win alongside LSU," Mark replies.

"That's all the time we have for today, Mark, thank you once again for joining us." Josiah pauses. "You can watch the broadcast of the road to the championship live on ESPN or tune in after the matchups for some exclusive highlights and interviews. This is Josiah Lyle for ESPN."

I turn off my phone and I throw it to the right side of my bed. As much as I wanted to keep watching the predictions for this season, it was time to pack up my stuff for tonight. We kicked off the playoffs today and for our first matchup, we would be traveling to Arizona to face ASU. Since it is a seven-hour drive from here at Bowling, we would be flying instead. A three-hour plane ride made more sense than having to sit on a bus for seven hours.

I was going through my closet looking for my BGU Swimming hoodie when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in," O'Connor. "What's up?"

"A visitor is waiting for you downstairs," O'Connor says and I raise my eyebrows at him. "Don't worry, it's not your dad."

"Then who is it?" I ask him.

"You'll see, just come downstairs," O'Connor says and he must've noticed that it made me uneasy not knowing who it was. "I promise it's nothing bad, I think you'll be quite pleased to see her."

As I walked out of my room and down the stairs of the house, I thought about all of the possible females that could be waiting for me downstairs until I saw her standing by the front door. I could've never guessed.

"Lexi?" It had been two years, two long years. She was different, but a good kind of different. Her brunette hair used to sit right below her elbows. Now it sat just above her shoulders. Her hazel eyes, just as beautiful but they were different. She was happy.

"Do you have time to catch up with an old friend?" She smiles. I just ran up to her and engulfed her in a hug. She laughed. "It's been way too long Matthew Connery."

"How?" It was all I could get out at the moment. "Don't get me wrong, I love that you're here but how? Aren't you supposed to be in med school?" 

Lexi lets out a small laugh. "I am, but I had something to take care of. And since I was already here, I thought I would stop by and catch up with my old friends."

I smile. "I'm glad you stopped by, we all miss you." 

In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder what was it that she needed to take care of. She has nothing to do here, no unfinished business, I made sure of that. I hope Maddox had nothing to do with it because if he did, he and I would be having an unpleasant conversation. "I know, I miss you guys too. Chicago is great, but it will never compare to the time I spent here at Bowling."

"You're just saying that to make us feel better," I joke. "You know you love it there, I can see it. You're happy."

Lexi smiles. "I am, after all this time, I can finally say that I am."

"Then that's all that matters, you deserve to be happy."

"Yeah, I do don't I?" Lexi half-smiles. "I was hoping I could maybe steal you for a few hours if that's okay."

Fuck. If only I had packed when Ev told me to. "We're flying at two for the first matchup of the playoffs and I still have to pack."

I was going to tell Lexi to give me a few minutes but O'Connor chimed in. "Bro, go ahead. I'll pack for you and take your stuff with me to the airport. Lexi can drop you off, that way you'll have more time to catch up."

"Thank you, bro, I owe you one." O'Connor nods.

"I will let you know in advance that I'll be cashing in your favor when we're in Arizona," O'Connor says making Lexi laugh.

Lexi and I walked out of the house to her car and once I spotted the blue Shelby GT350R-C Mustang, I instantly thought of Fai. It was the same car, spot on. How did she find the same one? "I found it in Chicago in a small dealer shop, it was black but I had it repainted."

"It looks exactly like Fai's," I say as I get in the car.

"It does, I never got to take anything back with me to Chicago. The only thing I carry with me is his cross necklace. So when I saw it, I knew I had to get it. Every time I get in and drive, I feel like he's sitting right next to me in the passenger's seat."

It never gets any easier, years pass on by but the pain never eases. I look at Lexi not knowing what to say. I didn't know what to say at the time and I don't know what to say now. I've always felt guilty about what happened, if I had just been there on time, Lexi wouldn't have lost everything she ever had. Fai, he was her everything. She never really knew what being loved felt like until she met him.

Lexi grew up in foster homes and in many of those homes, she would experience abuse from her foster parents. They were only there for the stimulus checks and nothing more. They didn't care about anything else. Everything changed with Fai and it was all taken away because of me. "Anyhow, there's so much you need me to catch up on Matthew Connery. Like the fact that you finally settled down."

I laugh. "Who told you?"

"The messenger never reveals her sources." Lexi winks. "I'll I know is that your whipped. Those were the exact words used and I couldn't believe it. I had to make sure that my hearing was okay because the Connery I knew, no girl was able to tie him down. So spill."

"O'Connor and I will be having some words," I tell Lexi. "And you think so low of me Lexi Rivera."

Lexi laughs. "You're exaggerating, it's not that I think so low of you. Facts are facts. And when I left Bowling, you would sleep with girls and call an Uber for them after. You wouldn't even let the poor girls spend the night."

"I will give you that, you had reason to doubt." I pause. "But to answer what you want to hear, yes, I'm whipped."

"I love to hear it," Lexi laughs and I roll my eyes. "How did you guys meet?"

"She's on the team, her name is Everest," I reply.

"Everest," Lexi says. "She's the girl you used to talk to Fai about isn't she?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Don't act like you don't remember," Lexi says giving me a look. "You used to tell Fai that there was this girl on the team, in your Freshman year. You liked her but, she wasn't the type of girl who would get into bed with any guy for fun. So you stayed away, not because you wanted to, but because you knew that she deserved better than a one night stand."

If Fai were only here. That was supposed to stay between us. I didn't even remember that. "I confided in him and he spilled the beans to you?"

"Connery, Fai told me everything." Lexi laughs. "I know things I wish I could un-hear."

"What things?" I ask.

"Nothing you don't already know," Lexi replies. "Now, tell me more about her."

"Where do I even start?" I ask.

"We've got time, tell me everything." Lexi smiles.

Lexi wanted to grab a bite to eat at one of her favorite places downtown, so during the ride there and the time that we spent at the cafe, I told her everything from the beginning. From what I told her, she fell in love with Ev. She told me how happy she was that I found someone who brings out the best in me. And of course, I can't forget to mention that she almost hit me in the face for being an ass to Ev when the article first came out.

I also told her everything about the case from what I was allowed to know and all about my dad coming back. She gave me a totally different perspective and she agreed with everyone that I should talk to him for my closure, not his. Spending time with her reminded me about how things used to be when Fai was around. And it made old wounds re-open again because not a day goes by when I think that he's the one supposed to be here, not the other way around.

Lexi caught me up with her life in Chicago, she's kicking ass in med school. Top of her class for two years in a row. She deserves nothing less than that after everything she has gone through. That's why I knew that I had to take Fai's place and pay his debt. Lexi has such a bright future ahead of her and she didn't deserve to stay here paying for something that wasn't hers, to begin with.

After we stopped for a quick bite, Lexi drove over to the supermarket to buy flowers and Fai's favorite whiskey. Now, we found ourselves parked on the sidewalk of the place I haven't visited since the funeral. The cemetery.

We got out of the car and we walked towards Fai's resting place. In loving memory of Fai Oliver James. And think of him as living in the hearts he touched, for nothing loved is ever lost and he was loved by many. Ellen Brenneman.

Lexi placed the beautiful bouquet on the grave and as we sat down she opened Fai's favorite bottle of whiskey. Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey. I took the first sip of the bottle and Lexi took the second one.

"He must be so proud of you Lexi," I say taking another sip. Lexi smiles weakly.

"I hope he is, "Lexi says. "Everything I do, I do it for him. I know he would've wanted me to keep ongoing. It's a battle I fight every day I wake up, I never thought I would be walking through this life alone without him. And now that he's not here anymore, I push myself to fight because it's what he would've wanted."

"It's so hard sometimes because how can I let myself be happy when I know he's not here. When I slowly reach each milestone but he's not there to share them with." Lexi pauses. "Xavier wrote me a letter."

My head perked up when she mentioned Xavier. Is that the reason why she's here? "He did? What could he possibly have to say to you?"

"He wanted to talk about what happened the night of Fai's death. And before you get any ideas, I'm glad I came down here to talk to him. He gave me the answers I needed to get closure." Lexi says. "I know you blame yourself for Fai's death Connery, but you have to know that it wasn't because of you."

"How do you know that?" I ask. "It was supposed to be me in that car, not him."

"That night, Xavier explained to me that it wasn't planned. Fai had gotten into deeper trouble, not only with Maddox but with the leader of Azrael Sylla. It had something to do with Tommy's case. Xavier told me that Fai found out everything that went behind closed doors during the initiations and he was gathering proof to take them down once and for all."

"If he took them down with all the evidence he gathered, his debt would be forgiven and he would be free." I pause. "What kind of proof was he gathering? He made a big mistake Lexi, we always knew that it all was bigger than Bowling."

"Xavier told me that there were recordings about the rapes during initiation, Tommy filmed every single one of them," Lexi replies. "He crossed the person he was warned he shouldn't have crossed. The leader of Azrael Sylla had given the order to take Fai out and Maddox was waiting for the perfect moment to do so without causing any suspicion. When you didn't show up to the race and Fai took your place, Maddox instructed Xavier to keep his feet on the pedal. Xavier owed Maddox favors so he couldn't ignore Maddox's instructions."

"It was a matter of when then," I say as I take in everything Lexi had just told me.

"It wouldn't have mattered if you showed up that day on time Connery," Lexi pauses. "Fai's death sentence was already signed. You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened, it's not fair to you. It's not what Fai would've wanted either. He knew that sooner or later the day was going to come and I'm sure he also knew that it all had to do with the choices he made."

Choice. One of the most powerful instruments we human beings have. In the end, it's what everything comes down to. We exist in a world of infinite possibilities. Every choice we make closes or opens fathomless doors. The path we embark on in our lives is shaped by one simple word, choice.

Life, unfortunately, doesn't come with a reset button. You can't take anything back or simply undo your choices like you do when you write the wrong word on a computer. All of your choices have consequences and the things you do or say, whether it's today or tomorrow, will have a lasting impact on your life.

For the longest time, I blamed myself for Fai's death, we all did. But sitting here with Lexi on Fai's resting place, with his favorite bottle of whiskey, I finally realized that it never had anything to do with us. It had everything to do with him and the choices he made. But as Lexi said earlier, he knew. He knew and because of it, he would want us to go on with our lives carrying the memories. The memories in which all of us were happy.

*As Connery begins to look at a distance, he starts to see the memories he shared with Fai* 

An hour away or half way across the world, whether it's in this lifetime or another. Wherever he may be, Fai will always be my brother.

A/N

Hey guys! It's been quite a long time since I last updated, I'm never one to go MIA on you guys but I just needed to take a break. These last two weeks have not been easy. With the LSAT reviews and other personal things, I was just very overwhelmed. I don't want to make excuses, but I just wanted to be transparent with you guys about why I missed this week's updates. I also I'm aware that waiting for updates can be tiring but I didn't want to force myself to write because I knew I wasn't going to deliver the best of my writing.

Thank you for all of your support, seeing your comments makes me smile and so happy that you guys love reading CG. I will never be able to thank you, our little family is growing and I have no words! ❤️