Tyler never texted me back.

For two weeks, the only moments we shared were when my fingernails ran noisily against his desk.

Clack, clack, clack clack. Clack, clack, clack clack.

I hated it. For nearly 14 days, I spun in my own mind. The days were long, but the time seemed to all blend together. I couldn't stop my mind from asking endless questions that I didn't know the answer to.

Does Dad know? Should I tell him? Should I confront her? Why isn't Tyler talking to me? Why is Spencer being so persistent? Why is Sean acting like I'm fragile? What if I don't get into any colleges? What is Tyler doing right now? Does he talk about me? Is he dating Kelsey? Does he even think about me? Why am I constantly thinking about him?

Does Dad know?

I haven't had sex in 23 days—who's counting though. I was surprised because I could do it with Spencer, every day, if I wanted.

I didn't want to, though. I was finally beginning to admit that to myself. No matter how many times I opened my messages to text Spencer, I couldn't bring myself to make the move. There was a small boulder that lived in between my lungs, making every breath more difficult than normal. I recognized it. I'd felt it before. It was fear.

And I was fearful of this fear. Because last time, the way I solved it—the way I made breathing easier—was by having sex.

With each day that passed, I became less and less confident that solution was going to work this time.

So I was exploring other avenues. I was getting high three times a day now. Lunch, after school, and after dinner. I tried smoking one morning before school but that was a disaster. My fatigue in the morning was mind-altering enough. Sleep hadn't been coming easy.

Some things had been better though. Aaron and I talked on the phone for two hours one night. My mom seemed less agitated. Rachel and Lindsay seemed happy with their "boyfriends." Even Caleb was being nicer to me. Well, respectful, at least. He wasn't calling me the school slut anymore.

What a high bar we'd set.

But Tyler—he was only becoming a bigger and bigger problem with each passing day. I was practically obsessive trying to figure out why he didn't text me back. Why he didn't text me at all. After what we talked about that night. After he held me while I sobbed embarrassingly like a child.

I wanted to know. I wanted to talk to him. He consumed my thoughts way, way too much. But I had too much pride to double text him.

"Just go fucking talk to him," Cory said. He sounded tired. Probably of this conversation.

I placed my lips against the paper and inhaled harder than I should have. I wanted to though. I coughed as I passed it back to him. "No way. I texted him last."

"Oh my god, Allie," Cory said and the exhaustion in his voice made me look at him. "I'm not going to tell you this again. He's intimidated by you. He's the, kind of, new kid and you're Allie Carson."

Cory had figured out who my mysterious crush, Tyler, was. It was the Tuesday after Winter Break when we smoked together and he smirked at me. "So, Tyler Hennessy, huh?"

"Who's that?" I tried to lie.

"Oh, I don't need to tell you," Cory said with a grin on his face as he held a joint out to me like a piece of candy. Like I was a trick-or-treater on Halloween. Like he had something I wanted.

It was fucking rude.

I snatched the joint from him. "How'd you figure it out."

"I have connections," he said, with a theatrical wave of his hand. "People, places, things."

"Nouns," I muttered, handing the joint back to him after taking a drag. Sarcastically, I continued, "I'm really happy for you for figuring it out."

Cory chuckled while exhaling smoke, so it came out in rapid puffs. "No. I'm happy for you. He's hot."

I couldn't deny that fact. Tyler was attractive. Like, very attractive. But I did attempt to counter. "Him being hot has nothing to do with my happiness. He doesn't like me. He thinks I'm annoying as fuck."

Cory whistled. "Well, you are pretty annoying."

I let out a laugh as I pushed his shoulder. "Hey!"

Now, I responded to his statement about Tyler being intimidated by me with a flip of my hair. "Still, Allie Carson doesn't go to people. They come to her."

"Well then, Allie Carson is going to lose a guy she's actually interested in," Cory mimicked me, then chuckled and shook his head. "Look. My advice is to stop pouting and just go talk to him. Go after what you want."

I surprised myself by nodding. The weed and the fact that Cory called me out for pouting gave me newfound confidence and determined clarity. If there was anything I took away from that conversation, it was that I was not a pouter.

Okay, maybe that was a lie. I took more away from the conversation. The stark realization that I truly, actually, could lose Tyler made me anxious.

At the first sound of the last bell ringing, I was out of my seat. I didn't wait for Scott. I didn't even go to my locker. I just headed straight for Tyler's car. He wasn't there yet. I propped myself up on the ledge of his trunk and tried to keep Cory's encouraging thoughts in my head.

Just go fucking talk to him. He's intimidated by you.

Still, I almost walked away. My hands were sweaty even though it was cold outside. It felt weird, leaning against his car. Waiting for him. I was unnervingly vulnerable.

Then I heard his voice say my name, and everything around me stopped for a second. The spinning stopped.

Allie. I had missed hearing it.

That's when I looked up to see him walking towards his car. Towards me. And right next to him, walking right beside him, was Kelsey.

I stood up pin straight, cursing myself and Cory in my mind, as I magically twisted my lips into a smile. "Hey."

Looking at their faces made me grimace. Well, looking at them, together was awful. They actually looked good together. They are good together.

It was just the reminder I needed: I was the wrong answer.

Tyler furrowed his brow a bit when they finally reached me. Curiosity was thick in his voice when he said, "What's up?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. Too quickly. I winced, hopefully not too noticeably.

Why hadn't I thought about what I was going to say?

Tyler's eyes slanted at me, though I could sense a hint of amusement dancing in the muted grey flecks of his hazel eyes. Then he looked at Kelsey before turning back to me. "Uh, this is Kelsey. Kelsey, Allie."

She smiled, though it didn't seem entirely genuine. Not that I could blame her. I wouldn't be ecstatic to see another girl leaning against my guy's car unexpectedly. I returned her smile, though I'm pretty sure it lacked ingenuity as well. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," she said. Her voice was sweet. Of course. Why couldn't she be a bitch? A girl as pretty as her shouldn't be allowed to be nice too.

There was a beat of silence and I looked at my feet. I could feel Tyler's unforgiving stare on my forehead.

"Well," I said, realizing I was in way over my head. "I forgot I have something I have to do right now. I'll see you guys later."

I was walking away before I even finished speaking, bumping into Tyler's shoulder accidentally. Well, maybe not accidentally.

I went straight to my car. Mrs. Mason, my Speed Walking teacher, would be proud of my pace—for once. I was calling Cory before I even opened my car door.

"Yo."

"I'm going to kill you." I said, slamming my car door shut behind me. If I thought I felt clammy before, I was now hot with embarrassment everywhere.

"What, why?"

"I was standing by Tyler's car waiting for him like an idiot, and he walks up with Kelsey."

"And how exactly is this my fault?" he asked on a sigh.

"Because your advice is shit."

"I told you to talk to him. Not stand by his car like a stalker."

I let out a groan and placed my forehead against my steering wheel. My phone buzzed beneath my fingers and I pulled it away from my ear.

From Tyler:

Scott was right. You do act weird sometimes.

A smile manifested itself on my face, so wide my cheeks hurt instantly. Not only because he texted me back, but because he and Scott talked about me.

He talked about me with his closest friend.

I brought my phone back to my ear. "He texted me."

I could practically hear Cory roll his eyes. "Right, and my advice is shit."

I just laughed, wondering how I could go from feeling nothing but shameful embarrassment to blissful ecstasy in a matter of seconds.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Well, it's Friday so probably getting drunk at Sean's." I hesitated, but then said, "Want me to ask him if you can come?"

"Thanks, but I'd rather kill myself," he cooed like he was talking to a 3-year-old. Then his tone switched to a mature sneer, "And I think he would rather kill me."

"You guys could bond though!" I countered. "I want my two best friends to get along."

The words slipped out before I could even realize what I was saying. I never consciously thought of Cory as a best friend. He was a friend for sure. But best?

At this point, maybe he was.

After all. Things change.

Cory caught onto it too and I could hear the grin in his voice. He was practically singing as he said, "Aw, Al, I'm your best friend?"

"You're a dick is what you are."

"A dick that gives great advice."

My phone buzzed again.

From Tyler:

Seriously though, you okay?

My heart felt on fire as I immediately put Cory on speaker. "Oh my god. He double texted me."

"Oh my god. He did something completely normal," Cory mimicked. I scoffed but he continued before I could say anything. "I'm hanging up. Have fun tonight. And please be safe."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered. "You too."

Once we were off the phone, I stared at Tyler's texts again with a crazy smile on my face before responding.

To Tyler:

What can I say. Gotta keep you on your toes somehow. But yeah, I'm okay.

As I set my phone down in my lap, my smile only grew. In this moment, I was more than okay.

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A/N: Merry Christmas Eve (if you celebrate) !!! I hope you're all having a wonderful time relaxing with family. Don't forget to comment & vote if you liked this chapter :)