He'd left by the time I woke up—for the second time—at 10am. I royally hated that my chest tightened at the fact he was gone.

It only constricted further when my bedroom door vibrated from the sound of three knocks against it.

"Allie" she said. Her voice was soft and sweet. Disgusting.

She stepped into my room while I lay in bed, pretending to be asleep. I heard her footsteps, then the bed dip beside me.

"I know you're awake, honey. And I know you've been avoiding me."

Oh, so she wasn't completely stupid.

I slowly opened my eyes. Normally I would smirk and make a playful joke and giggle. You caught me.

Now, though, I just kept my gaze steady on hers. Her blonde hair was tied up in a top knot and she was wearing a full face of makeup. She looked good. She was fine.

Must be nice.

"What's going on?" she asked. I flinched when her hand touched my arm, even though there was a blanket separating the contact. She didn't seem to notice.

"Nothing," I grumbled and turned over.

"Allison," she warned.

I snapped. "I'm tired."

She fell silent and I thought my tone might actually get rid of her. Yet the mattress didn't creak. The weight on my bed didn't move. Eventually she said, "You know, when you don't come home, most nights, I assume you're at Lindsay's or," she seemed to hesitate, "Sean's. But I can't just have you out every night of the week without a text or call."

It took all of my willpower not to laugh out loud. I had to be home, yet she could fuck people in our home. Got it.

A month ago, I would've rolled over and taken her hand in mine while telling her she was right. I would've apologized and we would be back on the same page.

It wasn't a month ago though. It was today.

And things had changed.

"I'm here now, right?" I said monotonously. "I'm safe. You don't need to worry."

"Of course I worry, honey."

I wanted to scream. I would love to know what she worried about. Cheating on her husband, maybe? That might be a good start.

"Dad called," she said and the muscles in my stomach clenched at the sound of his name coming from her lips. It felt wrong to hear her say it. "He's coming home for your birthday."

"That's in, like, three weeks," I deadpanned. What, was this supposed to excite me?

"Round about," my mother practically whispered.

I could hear pain in her voice, pain that made my heart ache because, after all, she was my mother. But my mind was too hot with rage. My fingernails were scratching against my palms under my sheets. I'd lash out if I took one look at her.

"Sounds good," I managed to spit out. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

My mom didn't say another word, but sat on my bed for what felt like a whole minute. Finally, she stood and left the room. When I heard my bedroom door latch behind her, I exhaled so hard I almost coughed.

Shortly after, Lindsay FaceTimed me. Her and Rachel were curled up in her bed.

"Where the fuck did you go last night?" Rachel practically yelled at me.

I snuggled deeper into my pillow and easily lied: I hung out with Spencer for a bit. Then got tired. And went home.

"You didn't go home with Spencer?" Rachel asked incredulously, while Lindsay simultaneously scolded, "You should have texted us."

"No, I did not. And I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"Then who did you go home with," Rachel pressed.

"No one," I said, and felt a little degraded that the concept of me not going home with anyone was a shock—even to my friends. I would've mentioned this or narrowed my eyes at her if I didn't feel so drained. My eyes fluttered shut. "I just went home."

Sean ended up being worse than Lindsay and Rachel though. He actually showed up at my house Saturday evening, which made my mother ecstatic. She adored Sean. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd already sent in a legal document to the government to prepare for an eventual name change from Allison Carson to Allison Connolly. She insisted he stay for dinner with us, before I countered saying that I already had plans for dinner. I didn't. But once I got rid of Sean, that was top priority on my to-do list. I definitely wasn't eating with her.

"You're really starting to freak me out, Allie," Sean said, sitting on my bed. The same side Tyler had been asleep on less than twelve hours before. "I mean, you just disappeared last night."

I pressed my lips together at his words, feeling guilt tug a little at my heartstrings. Still, I kept my voice steady and smiled at him, pushing aside the image of my mom's long blonde hair on the couch. The sensation of feeling a hand around my throat. "I'm fine."

"Stop saying that," he replied quickly, and I heard his teeth grind against each other. "You're lying. Something's wrong and you're not telling me."

I ran my tongue across my teeth as I stared at my best friend. His chestnut eyes looked helpless even though he was grimacing at me. I knew I had to come up with something. He wasn't going to get off my back if I didn't.

"It's just my dad." I decided, in the moment, this was the best lie. And it wasn't even entirely a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth. "He's been gone a lot more lately and, I don't know, it just sucks sometimes."

Sean patted the spot next to him on my bed and I pretended to be dramatic as I trudged over to him, like he was babysitting me. In truth, though, after everything that had happened, just the thought of Sean's comforting presence next to mine offered some relief.

He immediately pulled me into him when I finally sat. I wasn't surprised in the slightest. This was Sean. He was just good.

"I mean," I continued sheepishly. "It's my senior year. I'm going to be gone next year. For good. I just thought he'd make being around more of a priority, I guess"

"That makes sense," Sean commented. "And it's completely justified."

I sighed and sunk a little deeper into his embrace.

"Just, talk to me, Al," he added. "You can tell me anything."

The muscles in my face went limp. Because I couldn't tell him anything. I couldn't and I wouldn't. He didn't deserve that kind of burden. He deserved better. The best.

* * *

Sundays.

I hate Sundays.

Some people love Sundays. Lazy Sundays. Sunday Funday. A day to spend time with family. A day of religious significance. A day of rest.

For me, Sundays were just another reminder that I'd wasted another week of my life and the week ahead would likely be no different.

For the Hennessy's, Sundays were a day of absence.

Tyler seemed to be home most days of the week and, I'd learned from Scott, that Tristan worked as a general manager at one of the local hotels. So his father's schedule was unpredictable.

But on Sunday by 1pm, they would both climb into Tyler's Suburban or Tristan's Honda. They'd be gone all afternoon.

It happened every Sunday. Every week. I started noticing it the day Tyler said we couldn't meet to study on Sundays because he was busy. But now, I realized, this wasn't busy. This was routine.

Sometimes, it was just Tyler. Though Tristan's car was already gone those times. I'd come to assume he was likely at work.

My brain wracked itself through and through of ideas. It couldn't be church. For one, church typically wasn't at 1pm and they didn't seem like the religious type. Maybe they were meeting family or friends? A tradition? Maybe Tristan was low staffed at the hotel on Sundays and Tyler helped out? Maybe they had a certain father-son afternoon where they went to different cafés and restaurant and just sat and talked?

I snorted, realizing that's probably not what Tristan and Tyler did. It's what I wished Mark Carson and I did. A father-daughter chat. It didn't even have to be every Sunday.

Just once in a while would be nice.

I couldn't figure out what Tyler did on Sundays though. He had me stumped.

His father had me stumped.

And his mother. She had me completely and utterly dumbfounded.

Tyler said she didn't leave. But she clearly wasn't around. Did she pass away? Was she like my dad—constantly traveling? So focused on her career that she was absent and didn't even begin to understand the impact she had on the ones closest to her?

Who was Tyler Hennessy's mother. Where was Tyler Hennessy's mother.

And where was he going on Sunday afternoons.

* * *

While Tyler and I had slept in the same bed Friday night, we hadn't talked all weekend. So the calmness I felt when I drifted off to sleep Friday evening was long gone by Monday morning and I was back to swimming in a whirlpool of never ending thoughts.

The spinning was enhanced today, however. So much so that I threw up in the girl's bathroom after third period, when it fully hit me that this afternoon was going to come—whether I liked it or not. I was going to be trapped with him for fifty minutes. Today and every day until I graduated.

I tried to push the every day thought from my mind and focus on today. Just get through today. Survive today.

"Can I ask a favor," I said to Rory and Lauren just as we began our walk around the track during fifth period. The boys hadn't come out of the locker room yet. I had debated all lunch period whether or not I was going to ask them to do this for me. I finally decided it was worth the risk. "If Landon tries to come walk with or talk to us, will you guys back me up if I ask him to fuck off?"

Rory let out one of her many fake laughs. "I think you're a little past playing hard to get, Allie."

My jaw clenched and I almost threw up right on the track. I didn't say anything in response because I was scared to open my mouth. I wasn't sure what might come out. I was pretty confident it wasn't going to be words though.

So when Landon did inevitably catch up to us at one point, I was grateful when Lauren, who was standing next to me, stepped in. "Get lost, Landon. We're having girl talk."

"I just need to talk to Allie." He sounded desperate and I couldn't miss how Rory looked over at him, then me, her eyes narrowing with curiosity.

I tensed at his words though. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't be alone with him. Not yet. It was too soon. Clearly, my reaction was noticeable enough where I felt Lauren's gaze on me before she looked over at Landon with hard eyes. "Another time. Seriously."

Her tone was surprisingly harsh and the already hesitant boy, who had been walking in step with us, stopped. We walked away and left him behind.

I looked at Lauren. She was already staring straight at me. I hoped the fear I had pulsing through my veins wasn't completely readable on my face. I did mouth thank you to her.

She smiled softly, nodded once, and then looked away.

I was beyond appreciative that she didn't pry. Now, I could only hope to count on her discretion. The last thing I needed was gossip going around about how Allie Carson acted scared of Landon Bishop.

When I pulled into my driveway at 3:30 in the afternoon, I let out a sigh I didn't realize I'd been holding in the deepest part of my diaphragm. I'd survived the day.

I was also acutely aware of the fact that, as per usual, Tyler's Suburban was already parked in front of his house.

Before going inside of my own house, I pulled out my phone.

To Tyler:

Whatcha doing, nerd? Homework? I could use a study buddy.

After waiting in my car for five minutes with no response, I decided to go inside. I still had a pathetic, lingering hope he might respond though.

But he didn't.

He didn't respond.     

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A/N: thanks for reading as always :)  don't forget to comment and vote!