POV: Frankie

Not to brag, but I had amazing sex last night.

Well, to be fair, I gave amazing sex last night. It's okay though-- beyond being Rowan's first time with a girl, I think it was also her first time, period. I didn't want to overwhelm or embarrass her, and all I really wanted to do was to make love to her, and show her how badly I didn't want to say goodbye.

As much as I am a sadist, I am also a giver. And a very kind one at that, because damn did she look hot when she orgasmed. I kept replying it in my mind-- is that creepy? Maybe a little bit.

But, I'd rather picture my girl, with her head thrown back in pleasure, moaning my name-- then open my eyes and face the fact that today, I'm leaving. And tomorrow, I'll be in a brand new home with girls I've never met before, picking fights just to stay out of them. I'd be so fucking alone, and it would hurt that much more, knowing what it feels like to be loved. By Blake, as their sister, and by Rowan, as her partner. Would I ever feel at home like this again?

I've never been one to order my eggs sunny side up, but I don't exactly see a lot of hope for me. For us. First of all, I didn't even know what group home I'd be transferred to. I've lived in several already in California alone, who knew if I'd even stay in the state. I'd lose my privileges, my connections, my security. I wouldn't have time to maintain my friendship with Blake, and Rowan? Would she even still want me as a fucking pawn of the state? Someone struggling, and far away-- out of sight out of mind? Maybe someday she'd tell her children a story about me, like a Taylor Swift song about a stupid summer fling. And her wife-- or husband, who knows, will ask what happened to me. And she won't know, because I was just the girl she kissed at kissing rock one summer.

"Baby," Rowan shakes me, and I lazily open my eyes-- not wanting the morning to be real. I turn away, groaning. And for once, this wasn't just my morning-phobia.

"Baby, child services is here," Her voice is thick, as if it were water-logged. I quickly roll over to face her, watching a tear fall from the corner of her eye onto my arm. I watch as it leaves a trail down my skin, like a raindrop on a fogged up window, and I will myself not to cry.

"Please don't go," She whispers, wrapping her arms around me. If I heard those words one more time, I might not survive. The girls in the cabin were starting to stir, as Rowan's crying grew louder. I pull her close, still fearful that if I open my mouth, no words will come out. So I don't speak, I just hold her.

"What's wrong, counselor Frankie?" Brynn is the first one out of bed, instantly giving Rowan a hug from behind. She sniffs, trying to gather herself in front of the girls, and I sit up-- my body seemingly weighing five million pounds.

"Frankie has to go," She mumbles, pulling Brynn in close as the other girls begin to gather around in their pajamas.

"Is her mom here to pick her up?" Briclyn asks, grabbing onto Rowan's hand. I swallow, glancing down, fighting it off until I can't. And then I start to cry. Jesus Christ. Back at it with the mommy issues, I guess.

"No, sweetheart. She just has to go back home. Why don't you ladies go get ready and you can all say goodbye to her with me," She mumbles, trying to put on a brave face as she watches me fall apart out of the corner of her eye. The girls scatter, seeing this as nothing more than a tearful send-off like they'll have on the last day of camp. No big deal. It's just goodbye, right?

But good-bye for little girls at camp, and good-bye for me are two completely different things. My good-bye's are forever.

"There has to be something we can do," Rowan mumbles, pulling me in close once we're alone. I bury my face in her chest, leaving tear stains and snot on the front of her t-shirt. Instead of pulling away, she takes the hem of her tee and dabs at the corner of my eyes, humming softly to me, a song I'd heard her whispering sometimes as she'd fall asleep.

Fuck.

"Clearly, nobody believes us," I finally reply, sniffing heavily and trying to gather myself. I needed to get dressed if I wanted to have a chance to say goodbye to everyone. My heart trembled at the thought of Blake's face. How could I abandon them?

"But we're telling the truth," She mumbles, watching me from my cot as I throw clothes over my pajamas, not even bothering to look presentable. I rake a hand through my hair and stare at her, a sad smile traced on my face.

"If they sought to find the truth, then nothing would ever get done," I remark, only half-sure of what I was trying to say. She bites the tip of her thumb, sighing.

"Okay," She replies, quietly. Okay. That was all we could do, all we could say. Okay. I'm a fighter-- believe me, am. But I've been beat down by the system hundreds of times, and I know how these things go. It's better to just say okay and move on. Okay.

After Rowan threw on a pair of leggings and a hoodie, we were out the door. I hugged each one of the campers goodbye, giving Brynn an extra squeeze. She was a total sweetheart, and I wanted her to feel loved. Dylan gathered them up and led them to breakfast, giving me a clap on the shoulder and a sad smile as he passed me by. I wish I'd had the chance to get to know him better. Before he could walk away, I grab him by the shoulder.

"Take care of Blake. Please," I mumble, just loud enough for him to hear. He sets his jaw and nods, giving me an awkward salute. I snort, watching as he leads the girls away like Pippin, knowing in my heart that Blake was right about him all along.

Rowan takes my hand as we watch them, squeezing it so tightly that I feel like she's going to rip it off, and keep a piece of me for herself. She could have it, if she wanted it. A finger, a rib, a piece of my heart. I would give everything I had to her if I could, every part of me.

We walked down the path in silence. A mist hung in the air, as if the weather knew that today was meant to be somber. The air was cold, but I didn't feel it. I felt completely numb. I had to-- otherwise I'd be sobbing all the way down to the parking lot, where the Grove Street girls were gathered to say goodbye. If Taylor saw me crying, I might end up being dropped off at jail instead of another home.

"Are you okay?" Rowan mutters as we approach the group. Marley had her back to us, and was animatedly speaking to everyone. I shrug.

"No. Are you?" I reply. She stops, pulling me towards her. I stumble, and she steadies me, looking me straight in the eyes.

"Frankie. I love you, okay?" She starts, her eyes bouncing back and forth between each of mine, searching for something, and I'm not entirely sure what.

Here we go-- I clench my jaw, waiting for the 'but'. This is the part where she tells me that this is too hard-- and that we can't be together. That all this was was a stupid summer romance, and that we'll never see each other again. This is the part where she breaks my fucking heart. I don't know if I'll ever fucking recover.

"For real. So for fucking real that I'm terrified," Her voice shakes, confirming her statement. "And I don't fucking care when, or how I see you next-- but I will. Okay? I'm not letting you slip away that easily, okay? I love you." Tears are whispering down her face now, and I let out a sigh of relief, smiling despite the pain I was feeling deep inside my chest. She pulls a sharpie out of her pocket, and forces my sleeve up my arm, writing something down on my pale skin. I shiver at her cold touch, wishing they were kisses instead of pen marks. Wishing I was staying instead of leaving.

"There," She mumbles, finishing her writing. I glance at my arm, smirking.

"Is this your phone number, Rowan Flores?" I grin, breaking out the full name. She giggles.

"It is," She confirms, smiling back. It was such a simple thing, but not something we'd ever needed to do at camp-- exchange numbers. I ran my fingers across my arm, biting my lip.

"And I expect you to use it, okay?" She drops her voice again, the smile falling from her lips as she realizes that we're literal moments away from being torn apart.

"I will," I promise. And I would. I wasn't going to let this tear us apart. I pull my sleeve back down and cup Rowan's chin, gazing deeply into her brown eyes. For the last time.

For now, I remind myself.

She said we'd see each other again-- and Rowan wasn't the type to break a promise. I blinked back tears as I pull her lips close to meet mine, entwining my body with hers once more. I kiss her, a cloud of hot breath escaping her lips as she moved them against mine. I wrap my arms around her waist, and she rests hers against my shoulders. I never want to let go.

"Frankie," Marley's voice gently calls out to me. I give Rowan one last kiss, regarding her for a moment. I want to say something else, something more-- something that will last. But I feel the tears coming. And I can't let them out. I turn away, squeezing her hand tightly, and facing Marley.

"I'm ready," I mumble dryly. From behind her, Blake scoffs.

"Really bitch?" They say, breaking away from the group and pulling me into a tight hug. "You can't possibly think you can just sneak past me," They laugh, squeezing me until I think I'm going to pop.

"Shut up," I mumble, smiling into their chest. Blake pulls away, punching me awkwardly in the shoulder. For two kids who've said our fair share of good-bye's, we certainly weren't good at it.

"Love you, kid," I say quietly, catching a shimmer in Blake's eyes. I know that they're breaking inside, but they take a deep breath and smile through the pain.

"Love you, Franks. When you're out--"

"You'll be the first person I see." I nod, punching them back.

Fuck. I turn away again, not wanting anybody to see me cry-- but everywhere I turned, there were eyes on me. The rest of the girls each give me an awkward hug, and I notice that Cal is nowhere to be seen. But, of course, Taylor couldn't stand missing my send off. I stand in front of her, chuckling to myself as she smiles sweetly at me.

"Sorry to see you go," She croaks, flicking a braid over her shoulder. I shrug.

"You win, Tay. I hope you're happy," I reply plainly. "I'd offer to give you a hug, but you'd probably accuse me of grabbing your tit or something," I roll my eyes, earning a genuine laugh from Taylor.

"Whatever, Frank," She replies, crossing her arms. "That's what you get for coming in between me and my adoption." She whispers, glaring at me.

"What--?" I start, but Marley grabs me by the shoulder.

"The car is waiting, Frankie," She whispers softly. I shrug her off of me, wanting nothing to do with her. She could have fought for me, but she took the easy way out. I would never forgive her.

"Fine," I reply, still staring at Taylor. What the fuck did she mean?

Marley indicates for me to start walking towards the black sedan in the parking lot, but Rowan runs back up to me, nearly knocking me over. She sobs into me, her arms around my shoulders, her hair suddenly tangled against my face.

"I love you," She whispers again. I squeeze my eyes shut, and hold her tight.

"I love you too, Ro," I whisper back, my voice finally breaking. Shit. I sniff, trying to will the tears away-- but they won't go. She holds me tight as I cry, my heart breaking into a million pieces, right here in the fucking Camp Dunbrook parking lot.

I'd spent all my life begging people not to leave me, and now I was leaving the only people in the whole fucking world I cared about.

It fucking hurt.

"Come on, Frankie," Marley hisses, grabbing me by the shirt collar and pulling me off of Rowan. I once again shrug her off and start heading to the car, turning back to glance at Rowan every few steps.

It's not forever. It's not forever. It's not forever.

But somehow, it always is.

I open the passenger side door, and the child services lady smiles her fake smile, welcoming me into the warm car.

I glance back at Rowan, mouthing "I love you," before ducking into the car and slamming the door shut.