Chapter 22

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Callie Rose

I've never felt like this before.

I've felt a lot of things but I've never felt like this before.

     I'm seated inside on the couch, mindlessly letting the background noise that the turned-on TV offered give me a slight distraction from my wild-ridden thoughts. But no matter what I did to tune my mind out, my thoughts kept coming back in full force. And stronger than they ever did before.

 I gulp down the remaining contents of my cup, satisfied, and quietly wait for the stove to turn off, indicating that the meal I was preparing was ready to be eaten.

I was attempting on making some pasta, in truthfulness, I felt bad. Ever since I arrived here  Evan had been the one taking care of everything, cooking, cleaning... and I couldn't help but feel utterly useless lying around and being of no use whatsoever to him even though he had refused my request to help countless times.

After some persuasion, Evan agreed to let me handle dinner tonight, which I was happy about. I sighed feeling a bit content, At least I could finally be of use.

Well, that wasn't the only reason I had taken up the task of making tonight's meal.

In other truthfulness, I just felt bad.

And not for being useless. This other feeling was much more, excruciating, and more intense to go through.

In short, I was experiencing major anxiety and I had no Idea why.

 Well, now that wasn't true. I did know why I was feeling anxious, I just couldn't narrow the reason down to one specific thing.

It could be because by tomorrow I was to be in the hands of my parents, the people who scared me to death. Or because I was leaving the place that offered me so much happiness, or because I was about to leave the person that gave me so much happiness.

Or maybe because I was too afraid of how Evan would react when I told him I was leaving.

As the thought of leaving reached me my mood instantly soured. I couldn't even imagine what it was like before I got here even though it had been an insanely short time.

I would be leaving tomorrow, my father would be coming to get me tomorrow.

I still hadn't told Evan that I was leaving and I hated myself for it.

     In these past few days, what I thought would be a destruction of our relationship was the exact opposite, we had gotten so much closer. After talking with my parents it was almost like Evan had changed, his personality stayed the same as before around me but it intensified.

    The main goal was to distance myself from him, but that physically wasn't possible. I loved him too much for that to happen.

 And it might've been selfish of me to cause myself momentary happiness only so he could feel pain. It was so so selfish and I hated myself for that.

It was like the reality of me leaving had completely disappeared when we were together but now it had come back in full force and I was staring it right in the eye.

     I was going to have to tell him.

I was more afraid of what he would feel rather than what he would say, I could tell that he knew something was up and didn't want to talk about it but I had no idea how he was gonna react.

     I only hoped it wouldn't be as bad as I imagined it would be.

The automatic switch came off and the click pulled me out of my thoughts as I looked over at it, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and looked to see that it was Evan, just in time.

Great.

I quickly rushed to the stove and began dishing the pasta before Evan had a chance to help me and laid two plates on the table for us.

   I hear him chuckle behind me as he wraps both of his arms around my waist, probably amused by my actions. He kisses me on the cheek before asking if I needed any help, which I declined.

Soon enough we were both sitting on the couch and eating food, moved it here because the formality of eating at a table was just too awkward. After a while of making conversation anxiousness from earlier starts to build up inside of me.

     No doubt he noticed a change in my expression before I could even speak. That was one thing about Evan he's a very good observer.

     "Evan I have something to tell you"

"Everything okay Rosie?" He asked setting his plate down and turning to me, a more serious look on his face now.

     "Yeah e- everything's great I just really needed..., to talk"

     As if it was not really possible he trained his body even more to me, his attention becoming trapped and body language fully attentive.

     I sat there just staring for a second. How would I even begin this conversation I had no idea how to phrase it to him without this whole situation turning into something that couldn't be controlled, not that I had much of a hope of Evan not lashing out in the first place.

     After looking for the right words I found that I still don't even know what to say. This was... Impossible. I found myself wanting to tell Evan the truth I wanted to tell him how I loved him and how I never wanted to leave him, I wanted to tell him how my parents were blackmailing me and how I was terrified that if we stayed together any longer I would be the cause for anything bad that happened to him in the future.

     There were a lot of things I wanted to say but I realized and knew that by doing that I was being selfish and right now I needed Evan to be safe even if it meant us being apart.

     "While I was growing up I never really had any friends. I know that sounds lonely and somewhat depressing but I wasn't bothered. In fact, I was content with being alone. And though most of the time I was occupied, whether by school work given to me by tutors or even extracurricular activities I always felt alone. I thought maybe I was destined to be that way, everyone around me had somebody to be with even my parents- as vain as they were had each other and they loved each other. I felt like nobody loved me and in all truthfulness, I felt as if I was incapable of loving anybody"

  For the first time since I started speaking I look up into Evan's eyes, not to see his reaction but for him to look back into mine and for him to feel and downright view everything I'm feeling.

     "But after meeting you I know now that that's not true because I love you"

     For a second I want to dip my head back down in case of rejection, I don't know whether it's because I feel as if after this we won't ever be the same but my head is still up with my eyes gazing very intensely into his. I don't waste too much time trying to read his apparently frozen body language so as to not falter my confidence, instead, I keep on going.

  "I-I love you so much and I'm so grateful to you for making me feel this way and for caring about me the way no one ever has."

     I'm almost crying now because of the next words that I have to say but I stand my ground if Evan knew I didn't want to leave that would make it even more difficult to go. But unexpectedly before I can even mutter out the next sentence arms are grabbing mine, lifting me up the chair and into a body and soon my lips are being morphed together with soft eager ones.

This kiss is intense, much more intense than the one we had shared the other day in his room. Evan had never kissed me like this before, it was new and exciting and I never wanted his lips to leave mine again.

 One of his strong arms was wrapped firmly around my waist while the other fondled my neck, angling it to a certain position as he deepened the kiss. If not for the stronghold he had on me I was almost certain that my entire body would have fallen limp to the ground.

     My hands felt frail as they held on to his neck, the other desperately clutching his shirt. I suddenly wanted no space between us, I wanted nothing between us. All I wanted at this moment was for him and me to be together with nothing obstructing us, whether that was physically or emotionally.

     But I knew that wasn't possible, we were arranged to be married, yes, but it still wasn't that simple. Now that my parents knew about this I was sure they wouldn't let us be together any longer, regardless of what it meant for the company because for some reason it absolutely pained them to see me happy.

I knew that now.

     I didn't want to stop kissing him but I had to, not just because I was running out of air but also because we still had a lot of things to talk about.

Well, just one thing.

I shove on Evan's shirt a little and he lets out a groan, one that rumbles through his whole body and comes from the back of his throat. We both reluctantly pull away from each other and the look he gave me next was completely worth not kissing him at the moment.

    His eyes were filled with an expression, it was the same one he had that day he confronted my father, the one he had that day we were in the bedroom. And it felt oh so good.

"I love you too my Rosie, I love you so fucking much"

That's it.

I officially forgot how to breathe.

Without even waiting for a response those soft lips were pouncing back on mine in less than a second and all logic practically flew out of my brain.

There was no one anymore, it was just us.

Just us.

     No more thoughts about me leaving, no more worrying about my parents no more worrying about anything. Evan's hands trailing through every inch of my skin were all I could focus on.

     I didn't even know we had made it to his bedroom and we're now on top of his bed with my legs straddling each side of his waist.

     He was wearing a shirt five minutes ago but not anymore because when I went down to press my palms against his chest all I could feel was my skin against his and said it sent an electric shock through my body only making me want him more was an understatement.

     I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I wanted from this, but I knew I just wanted him to keep touching and feeling me.

     His hands had a firm grip on my thighs and they rode up the oversized shirt I was wearing, the shirt that belonged to him.

     I practically had nothing under since the shirt already looked like a dress on me and was beyond thankful that I had chosen to just wear underwear today of all days.

     Those strong arms were traveling up my thighs and groping my backside in a gentle and pleasuring way, the way he felt and kneaded my skin had me rolling my eyes back in his pleasure. Oh my God.

Evan's mouth was now completely detached from my own and I couldn't even complain because he had now attached it to other parts of my skin as he made sure to explore every single part of my upper body that he could. I was sure with the way he nibbled and sucked on my skin that he was going to leave various marks, even worse than the one he had first given me but I didn't care, the desire to have his body morphed with mine surpassed all other things.

Evan's mouth was now leaving my skin and I couldn't even hide the disappointment that clouded my expression, his hands were still touching me though so I tried my best not to complain.

     He rested his forehead against mine, his face completely calm and expression filled with love from before. I didn't know how he could do this without having to catch his breath I was panting like I had just run a 500-mile marathon. Evan placed a little kiss on my cheek before working his way up and finally leaving one on the very tip of my nose. The smile that erupted from my body was lopsided, I couldn't help the giddiness I felt inside.

That smile quickly went away though.

     Here I was succumbing to all sorts of desires when I was yet to tell Evan what that whole talk had been about in the first place. It's true telling him how well he had impacted my life was a way to soften the blow but even then I was still afraid his reaction would terrify me.

I had to get this over with.

"I'mleavingtommorow"

He chuckled.

This boy just laughed in my face.

"Rosie slow down okay, I can barely fucking hear you"

Okay, he hadn't heard. Okay.

Okay.

"I-I'm leaving tomorrow"

Yeah, he was not laughing this time.

     Rather he looked confused. And the words that came out of his mouth next sounded completely flat, emotion completely absent from it.

"What do you mean you're leaving tomorrow ?"

I gulped as his grip on me continued to tighten. If I didn't know any better I would have said he held me almost as if he was afraid that if he didn't I would be gone forever.

     "Remember that time two days ago that my father came here, said he wanted to talk"

     Evan nodded. His expression was still very much blank.

     " Well we talked and.., I realized that maybe staying here might not be the best thing"

     His eyes were hard and his grip on me now had completely loosened. I just bent my head down because I'm as too much of a coward to actually look at him as I spoke.

     "I-I just miss them is all and I'll still come to see you sometimes. Promise"

     Lie. I doubted they would ever let us see each other again not until their absurd wedding arrangement after my graduation.

    "And we still have school and I could al-always come over whenever I just think maybe I should go back home because-"

"Bullshit"

I looked up. Huh.

"You're a shit liar Rose. You always have been"

Oh crap. This boy was way too smart for his own good.

This had to work it just had to. I couldn't let Evan chase after me right now, Dad said he would hurt him and there was no way I was letting him get hurt because of me.

"I-I'm not lying. I'm telling the truth Evan"

"Oh? So you are?" His voice had a bit of a tone to it, and it had my demeanor crumbling by the second. "You suddenly decided that the thing for you to do was to go right back to your home. Right back to your parents who practically have a fucking death wish over you?"

"That's not..., that's not how it's like"

"Then tell me how it is like Rose. Because there's no way you would tell me you fucking love me and a minute later just say you want to leave."

     Suddenly those arms were back on mine again, caressing my face and rubbing along my jaw. "It doesn't matter what they said to you baby. You'll be fine, nothing's gonna happen and you sure as hell don't have to go live with them"

     I softly shook my head, he didn't get it. I didn't care about myself at all, I cared about him. I didn't want him to get hurt.

     "No Evan you don't get it" I wasn't even trying to go with the lie I had cooked up earlier lord knows he wouldn't believe me.

     "I-I can't stay here. My dad is coming to get me tomorrow and, and if I don't go with him. H-he'll hurt you" I tried my best not to but I couldn't help the tear that escaped my eye, it was exhausting being emotional all the time I hated it.

"I'll be fine my Rosie, I promise. Nothing will happen"

"B-but how can you be so sure?. I won't let you get hurt because of me, I-I have to leave"

"If you really think I'm letting you go live there again, you must be out of your mind Rose. You don't even need to worry about me okay? It'll be fine I promise, you're not going anywhere"

I could only sniffle, nod, and trust that he was right.

Because lord knew I didn't want to leave him just as much as he didn't want to leave me.


~

A/N: hey guyssssss🕴🏽

Did y'all like the chapter?  And I guess I should also apologize for not updating in like forever but now that I'm free— sort of—- I'm holding myself to at least an update a week from this book. But no promises.

Anyways comment/vote if you liked the chapter and I'll see u in the next one.


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