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What are you doing?

Pull away Cade!

I mentally tell myself, but I don't make any effort to do so. I am so close to Freya, closer than I've ever been.

My heart is thumping like it wants to explode out of my chest. My hands that I forcefully placed to stay on the wall on both sides of her, etched eagerly to touch her face instead.

To feel her skin.

I want to hold her so fucking bad.

It doesn't help that her lips are right there, ready and waiting for me to take them.

I want to kiss her so bad. Feel the softness of her lips, taste what she taste like.

Fuck! This is hard.

She doesn't respond to my question about me looking like Charles if I go bald. I don't know what she's thinking of or how she's feeling, but I can see her cheeks turning a light shade of red.

She's blushing?

Is she nervous?

Do I make her nervous?

Or is she uncomfortable being this close to me? Because she refused to look at me for the first few seconds I caged her with my arms.

Upon those thoughts, I still can't pull myself away from her. Why would I? I have reasons to, but I don't want to.

I start noticing her cheeks aren't the only place turning red, her whole face is.

With a grin settled on my lips, I ask, "why are you so flushed Freya?" A slight bit of panic crosses her pretty hazel eyes.

"I-I'm not." She makes a little stutter in her denial, breaking eye contact with me. I've never heard Freya stutter.

"But you are." I chortle, running my tongue over my lips for the hundredth time.

Kiss her.

I ignore that inviting, yet destructive voice in my head. I half expected Freya to push me away by now or something if she's uncomfortable with our very close position. But the other half of me believes she's okay with it.

"No I'm not Cade." I laughed when she shook her head furiously, tapping her fingers to cool down her heated face.

"This closet is just stuffy and hot." She looks at everything else, before returning her eyes to where they are originally supposed to be at.

My eyes.

"That's the reason why I'm hot." She says rather more slowly, looking deeply into my eyes.

"You really are hot." I don't realise I said it out loud until I heard myself. Her lips slowly drags up to a smile, then she breaks into a laugh.

She still hasn't shown any sign of discomfort around me.

I don't get her.

She acts all weird, closed up and uncomfortable towards me when we around people or with Ophelia and Zayn.

But when it's just us...she's this way.

She smiles at me. She's free with me.

With that thought, I ask her what I wanted to ask her in the class before Mrs Bright interfered.

"Is everything okay between us Freya?" My tone takes a more serious turn.

Her face resides into confusion, her smile wavering a bit. "Why are you asking me that?" I sigh.

"You said we were good the first day you guys came over to our place after our fight, which I believed. But since that time, you've been distancing yourself from me." I should really shut up before I say something I'm not supposed too.

"And why would you think that?" She tilts her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I noticed the things you did Freya." She scrunches her nose, before bringing her finger to brush the tip of her nose.

This girl is too cute, it's not in any way real.

I expected her to say something, but she didn't. She stares at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I notice the things you do Freya." I really need to stop talking. I should pull away from her too. Taking in her sweet scent, with her face being just few inches away from mine, isn't any good for my sanity.

"Oh really, what things do you notice?" She smirks.

"You know and you're still asking?" She shrugs and I chuckle.

I finally bring my arms down from the wall. However, I didn't take a step back from her. I couldn't even if I wanted too. I have to savour this moment in being close to her, cause I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again.

"Why do you always act so uncomfortable towards me when we are around people, but you're totally okay when it's just us?" The question seems to take her off guard. I could tell from the realisation that crosses her eyes.

I rub my knuckles in anticipation to hear what she wants to say.

"Okay....I'll answer yours, but only if you answer mine." Shit! How didn't I see that coming?

She pursed her lips at first, then grins. "Why do you keep looking at me?" Now it was my turn to get taken aback. She has asked me this question before.

How am I supposed to tell her that I can't stop looking at her because I'm growing vehement feelings for her.

Powerful emotions that feel like I can't contain what goes on in my heart everytime I think about her. Everytime I see her. Everytime I come face to face with the reality that we can't be together.

Freya is still looking at me and I'm pretty sure I look like a deer caught in a headlight by how my eyes look right now.

I quickly compose myself and clear my throat, hoping she doesn't suspect anything.

She can never know about my feelings for her. Not even a clue about it.

Even if it's already extremely hard, I have to hide it. Pretend the feelings are not there until it eventually fades.

Cause it will fade. Right?

"I like your nose piercing, that's why." That's the excuse or in other words nonsense I could come up with. Pain strikes my heart that I can't tell her my real feelings.

I finally take the hurtful step of pulling away from her. I walk back and pick up my backpack from the floor.

"Really?" I look at her and found her still grinning. She looks unbothered by my response.

"Yes." I decide to add more nonsense to make my answer more rational.

"Plus, I don't think it's a crime to look at you. Ophelia does, Zayn does, Jacob does, other people do, so I shouldn't be any different right?" I walk back towards her, creating a simple unaffected smile.

She takes her eyes away from me, a look a contemplation arriving at her face.

"If you say so." She's really okay with my response?

You're doing good Cade.

This is for the best. The less she knows, the better for everyone.

And I don't even wanna start with the shit storm of my past.

"So will you tell me now?" She makes her way past me, stops and turns back at me.

"Tell you what?" My mouth forms an O shape, showing the disbelief I'm expressing.

She laughs, witnessing my face. "You're joking right?" She shook her head, holding her laughter.

I open my mouth to speak just when the door opens. I momentarily froze up, while Freya starts slowly cracking up beside me.

The Janitor looks between two of us, before shaking his head with an exhausted look.

"I don't even wanna know what you guys were doing in here. Just go." Freya finally broke into a laughter.

She runs out once again. I mutter, "sorry," to him, before running after the girl I wish was mine.

"What the actual fuck Freya?" I found her resting against the walls of the lockers, laughing her ass off. She looks at me and her laughter increases.

Other students gave us weird looks as they exit the school entrance doors. I began laughing too. "We could get in trouble for that little stunt." I try to catch my breath.

"Nah we won't. Rachel Lott and Tommy Glen had sex in the science lab last semester and they didn't get in trouble. I think we are fine."

"Oh....okay?" I definitely didn't need that information.

Freya phone chimes with a message just seconds before mine started ringing.

"We gotta go," Freya says looking at her phone. "Ophelia sounds mad."

"Yeah she is." I show her the caller on my phone and she laughs.

It's funny how I can never get use to her or the things she does. I can't even get use to how beautiful she looks when she laughs or smiles.

I'm so fucked.

We start making our way outside. We exit the doors of the school, meeting the disorganized bodies of student moving to one direction and destination.

A random girl with pink dyed hair calls out my name with a flirtatious look on her face. Freya was on the phone with Ophelia, so she didn't notice and I couldn't be more grateful.

Well not that she would care anyway. She clearly doesn't like me or see me the way I see her. It's a heart crushing reality I have to come in terms with.

I ignore the girl just as she waves at me and winks. I don't know what the fuck that was. She looked like she has an eye problem or something.

"I'll see you tonight at the party fuzzy hair." The girl voices out, dragging unnecessary attention to me.

"What is that about?" I swipe my head to Freya. I didn't even realise she was done talking on the phone.

"Nothing relevant." Good thing we are already close to the parking lot. I could see a guy talking to a very pissed-off looking Ophelia, who clearly isn't in the mood to talk to him.

Get a clue dude.

"I know girls always swoon over you everywhere you go and Natalie is clearly not an exemption. So you don't need to act like it's a new thing." I raise a brow in question.

"Whose Natalie?"

"The girl who was just staring at you like you're her last meal she wants to devour." She refers to the weird winking girl.

My lips sets in a smirk at her statement. "Quite an observation Freya." She chuckles.

"Oh don't worship yourself. Anyone could clearly see her unhinged hunger for you." I study her expression to see if she looks somewhat mad or jealous, but a plain smile settles on her face.

"Hey guys!" Both our head swipe to the basketball team guys heading towards their cars on one side of the parking lot.

"See you guys at the party tonight." Tate hollers at us with a hyped look. I only know Tate Brown because he's the captain of the basketball team.

I was told Jacob was the captain since sophomore year, but he passed on the leadership to Tate for some reason. Tate is good, but he isn't as great as Jacob. I've been to their game once since I started school here.

I was too busy being the other Cade to do anything sporty back home. I still continually work out though.

I give them a little nod, before walking past them. "How did I forget we are hosting a party today?" I question myself.

Probably because my head has been wrapped around the girl with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, walking beside me.

"I wouldn't let Ophelia hear that if I was you." Freya voices out just when we get to the others. She heard my rhetorical question.

The guy who was seemly talking to Ophelia wasn't there anymore when we approached her.

"What the actual fuck guys?!" I almost chuckled at the expected outburst from Ophelia.

"Who was that?" Freya ignores her question, referring to the boy she was talking to.

"A one time hookup that clearly doesn't know what a hookup means." Ophelia spits out.

"Where were you guys?" I let Freya attend to her best friend. I move passed them to the passenger sit and threw my backpack in.

I see Zayn through the car window. His attention is on what he's doing with his laptop that sits on his lap at the backseat. I don't think he has noticed my presence.

"What you doing?" His face scrunches at what he's typing. His eyes are still on the screen.

"Trying to track and crash the tech freak who wants to hack my computer." No wonder he looks so serious. I laughed when he cussed with a pissed off looking face.

"You'll get them bro, you're a tech genius." Zayn is a mastermind in the tech world, so there's nothing to really worry about.

"Is there any encrypted information or stuff in there?" He shook his head no, finally looking at me.

"Some birdy bird told me Natalie Matthews has her eyes set on you." Jacob's voice booms from behind me. I pull my head out of the car window, seeing him and Daya approaching us.

Ophelia and Freya comes around to where we stood. Ophelia apparently isn't mad anymore. She was pissed because we haven't gone to Zayn's house to organise the things for the party.

Zayn told her Mrs Sanders, the housekeeper will organise everything but for some reason, she declined and said we should do it ourselves.

Daya chuckles. "What girl doesn't have her eyes on Cade?" Jacob shoots his eyes at her with a questioning look.

"I mean every girl but me babe." She leans up and kissed his lips, creating a winning grin on his lips. I looked at Freya on my left, her face as bored as always.

Sadly, every girl but the girl I want to have eyes on me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Ophelia attacks her twin. He gives her the finger and she hits him with her water bottle.

Moments like this makes me wonder if we would've been like this too. I always wonder what it would have been like if he was alive.

"Ouch." He rubs the spot, glaring at her. Daya laughs before treating Jacob like the baby he is anytime he's around her.

"I wanted to see if you guys wanna ride with us. I hear the Halloween party is tonight." Jacob elaborates. Freya tells us she's tired of the harsh sun shinning on us and goes into the car.

"Nah. We ride with Zayn now." Ophelia makes it known.

"We don't need you anymore." Jacob mutters an inaudible ouch.

"And yes the party is tonight." Ophelia checks her watch, then suddenly panics.

"Infact in a few hours!" She tugs on my arm and starts pulling me into the car.

"What is blondie yapping about this time?" Ophelia rolls her eyes at April, but her hand didn't leave mine. April, Dylan and a brunette girl approaches us. Dylan was too busy with his phone to look up at us.

"Hey Camila." Daya says to the girl with smile. She says hi to all of us with a kind smile of hers.

The strong feeling of a stare burning at the back of my head makes me look back. My brows furrowed when I didn't catch the eyes that I know were looking at me.

There was no one close to us. Zayn was still on his computer and Freya who I thought was the one had her attention faced against us.

Well that was weird.

"So are you two together now?" Jacob ask, gesturing his forefinger between April and Camila. Camila blushes, too shy to say anything else.

April smiles at her before nodding. "Really?" Ophelia sounded a bit surprised. "Yeah we are."

"OMG you guys are so cute!" Daya squeals excitedly, going to wrap her arms on the shoulder of April and Camila.

"Shut up Daya, your squeal sounds like a cat dying." Dylan voices out without looking at her. Daya snatches his phone from his hand and punches his arm.

Why are siblings always fighting?

"How do you know what a dying cat sounds like?" Dylan looks at Ophelia and suddenly his face lights up.

"Hey beautiful." He readjusts himself.

"Never Dylan." She shuts him down immediately.

"I'll keep trying and you'll give in one day I assure you." He winks at her.

"Yeah keep dreaming." He chuckles at her statement, before returning his eyes to Daya.

"Daya give me my phone now!" She runs to hide behind Jacob for his protection. He just laughs and holds her. I just realised I have been watching all of them without uttering one word.

The next five minutes were filled with childish display from the two sets of siblings. Jacob protects Daya from Dylan, while Ophelia cusses at Jacob for no reason.

The parking lot was almost empty. I looked back into the car. Zayn was still on his computer and Freya now had her headphone in her ears with her eyes closed.

Camila, April and I watched the chaotic siblings fight themselves. Camila laughs at them. "Your friends are cool babe."

April shook her head. "They are not my friends. I just hang out with them." She declines.

"That's basically what you do with friends." Camila points out with a laugh. April settles with a simple shrug.

It was easy to detect the set of eyes I felt at the side of my face seconds after. I turn my head to April just as she speaks. "You haven't said anything pretty boy."

"What do you want me to say?" I shrug. She narrows her eyes at me, but says nothing.

Finally breaking off their banter, they walk back to us. Zayn comes out just then. He broke into laughter when I explained why they were fighting.

"We're already late, let's goooo!" Ophelia cries like she wasn't the one taking time.

"Where are you guys off to?" Jacob inquires.

"Nowhere that's your business." Ophelia retorts at Jacob. With this two, we can be here till nightfall.

"We're gonna go to my place to organise for the party." Jacob nods at Zayn's reply.

"Actually would guys like to come?" He offers. Ophelia groans, then goes into the car. Daya was psyched to join us, so Jacob couldn't decline. April agreed to come too.

"Send me the address. I'll meet you guys later." Dylan starts walking towards his car that's parked opposite us in the parking lot.

"Where are you off too?" Jacob questions him. "I gotta go get something from someone. I'll meet you guys in a minute!" He yells as he walks further from us.

"Don't get a girl pregnant!" Daya yells at her brother. He gives her the middle finger from the far distance and she laughs.

"I would love to join you guys, but I gotta go meet my sisters. We have this thing we do on Halloween and they'll kill me if I miss it." Camila chuckles at April's pout before kissing her.

"Don't worry. I'll be at the party." April's face gains joy again.

"Wear a sexy costume for me tonight mi amor." She didn't bother in telling her privately. Camila was as red as a tomatoes when she walked away.

My mind was easy to wonder what costume Freya will be in tonight.

A devil?

An angel?

A marvel character?

A disney princess? I definitely know it's not any of that.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

"We get it April, you're in a relationship!" Ophelia booms from the car, making everyone crack into laughter.

Daya and Jacob goes to his car, while April goes to hers. Zayn throws me his car keys.

"You drive. My fingers are all cramped up from typing excessively." He jumps into the backseat, sitting beside Freya.

Ophelia was already sitting at the passenger side with my backpack on her laps. I get into the driver's sit and start the engine.

"Freya." Ophelia taps her softly, bringing her attention to us. We all thought she was sleeping because her eyes were closed.

"You okay?" Freya stretches her arms. "Yeah just tired." She catches me staring at her from the windshield rearview mirror....like always.