"And I'm sorry that I made you feel that way." He said and walked away.

I kept staring at his back until he disappeared from my line of sight before turning around and looking down at the unfinished food on my plate.

I loved lasagna and steak, but my appetite was lost now.

For the past few days, I have not been feeling like myself much. I think abuse and torture does that to you. At this point, I don't even remember what I used to be like before all of this went down.

I felt as if I have gone through the process of rebirth until today. Today, he brought out the little rebel inside of me. Today, he gave me a little taste of my old self.

Did I want to be like that again? I don't know. But did I want to sit here and wallow in misery and throw myself a pity party each day? Hell, no.

I need my time to process the mess my life has now become but I would like to think that I will come out of it.

How do I know this? He made me believe this.

Ever since that incident, he has been taking care of me. I found out that he's working from home just because of me. He never brought work home, but because of me, he even conducted his meetings in either the living room or in his study.

He has been nothing but kind, understanding, and reassuring. Why was he doing this? It can't just be because he cares about me.

But then, does that mean that he... No!

I shook my head and dismissed the absurd thought that decided to mess with my head, once again.

He's doing it because he has been there for me ever since we were kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

He can't possibly fall for a damaged person like me, right? I have a lot of emotional baggage, the weight of all of that will only bring him down and I don't want that.

Or could it be because I confessed to him? Oh my God, is he doing this because he can't return my love and wants to make up for it?

But he is not that kind of a person. I mean, I know him. He would never do something until he actually wants to do it. He has his own set of rules and moral values that he follows and nothing and no one can ever make him do otherwise.

But then, why?

My head was starting to hurt with all the overthinking.

Lately, my mind has not been able to support the load of my thoughts. Maybe, I was actually as useless as Augustine had said I was.

Was I a burden on Ian? I'd ask him that but I know that he would just deny. Maybe to make me feel better about myself.

He has been helping me a lot. I cannot ever forget the way he made me feel this morning. He talked about me like I was some warrior who had returned home after winning a battle singlehandedly. He said he was proud of me and I won't lie but my heart swelled inside my chest. I never knew I'd hear those words from him.

All I have been lately accustomed to is, silent or harsh treatments and being brutally beaten. All that Ian made me feel was unmatched.

I was seeing this side of him after years and I was craving more and more of it, with each passing day. I have tried so hard to bury my feelings for him and now it seems impossible.

I was scared. Very, very, scared.

I didn't want to end up with yet another heartbreak. I don't think I can bear it anymore.

There's only so much a human can take.

I clutched the side of my head as the throbbing increased and tears pricked at my eyes. How do I a put a stop to all of this? Was I too much to handle? Was I being unnecessarily emotional?

I did not know.

All I knew was that I was unable to walk on my own and I needed Ian, right now.

I made him mad. Was I a bad person, too?

Strong arms wrapped around me, breaking me out of the torturous prison my head was. I looked down to see Ian's grey suit jacket.

He was hugging me.

I wrapped my shaking arms around him and he nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck. His stubble tickled my collarbone but I held him close as if my life depended on it.

Though my life did depend on it. It depended on him.

I needed him now more than ever. I needed him because he's given me a glimpse of what it feels like to have him.

Was I selfish? Maybe.

"I'm so fuckin' sorry, tesoro." He whispered, pulling away, and cupped my face.

There it was. That damned endearment, I have grown used to. The one that sends my heart in a frenzy.

"I'm sorry, too." I mumbled looking down at my fiddling hands.

His hands left my face, leaving my skin exposed to the harsh, cold air. Everywhere he touched, he left a burning desire behind.

"It's not your fault, tesoro. I should not be lashing out at you, I should control my temper. I'm so sorry." He cooed, stroking my hair.

Was I dreaming? Lately, everything felt like a dream with him.

Adrian Aksel Knight has apologized to me, thrice.

He hated apologizing. If he could, he would go to any length to erase that word from the dictionary itself.

"It's alright. I get too much to handle, at times." I managed to croak out.

"No, no. Don't ever think like that about yourself, tesoro. You can never get too much for me." He whispered, softly.

He touched me like I was a doll made of glass. Like he was afraid to break me.

God knows how much I loved his touch. It soothed me to no end.

I loved this man like there existed no boundaries.

"My head hurts." I told him.

"Shit. I'm so sorry, tesoro. I'll take you to your room." He said and while he took me upstairs, he kept mumbling apologies over and over.

"It's not your fault, Ian." I mumbled and rested my head against his chest.

The steady beat of his heart was enough to calm my nerves.

He sat me down and gave me my medicines before adjusting the comforter and changing my position to lying.

"Don't leave." I told, grabbing his hand.

"I won't. I'll be back with my stuff." He reassured and left me alone with my thoughts.

The thought of seeing Xavier tonight made my stomach churn. I was not ready to see him, to see his reaction. He will be hurt for sure.

I demanded to not see anyone because I know I am not in the right mental state to meet them. I was thankful to Zio Leo for showing up, he was there for me even the first time it happened so his presence was not as overwhelming but I did not think I could face the rest of them after what they've found out about me.

I also knew that Ian was keeping quiet because of my health and once I recover, I'd have to face his questions and probably wrath, too.

I was missing Aless, he did not come and visit me yesterday. When he talked, I felt as if he had aged ten more years. He told me about what he said the other day and I was shocked. I did not expect Aless to open his mouth like that. He was growing up too fast. I was proud of him, I really was.

I also wanted to see mom and dad, but where do I muster enough courage from? Am I being too unfair to demand my personal space?

My thoughts were one big mess and they made my head hurt even more and I groaned lowly in pain.

I felt the bed dip beside me and I opened my eyes to see Ian sliding in the bed, now dressed in sweatpants and a plain white shirt. He put his laptop on the nightstand and rested his back against the headboard after moving closer to my side.

He was always so quiet, you could never hear or see his movements if he did not want to make himself known.

Without a word, he lifted my head from the pillow and brought it down on his lap. I looked at him in confusion and his fingers started to work their magic as he slowly massaged my scalp.

I sighed softly and my stiff muscles, loosened as he continued to do his magic which seemed to be working wonders.

I don't know when I fell asleep but the last thing I heard, was him saying something along the lines of ti amo cosi tanto, tesoro and then darkness engulfed me.

(I love you so much, sweetheart)