Always by your side (angst)

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[Always by your side] 10/5/2021

There you go again taking medicine for a headache like it was some candy. He knew taking too much of it was bad for your health, so he stopped you. "It hurts Jungkook," you cried as he held you close to him kissing the top of your head. His heart ached seeing you like this.

Being held by him calms you down although it didn't really help subside the pain you were feeling. "Don't leave me all alone," you cried as he said nothing. His action spoke more than anything. He didn't have to say something, because you could feel all the love he was giving you right now.

"We should go to the hospital," Jungkook insisted worried about you. You wanted to refuse, but you couldn't say it seeing the look on his face. In able to calm him down and relax his mind, you agreed.

/Hospital/

You almost fell on your knees hearing what the doctor just said. Jungkook helped you up and made you sit on the chair before excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

You stared at his back as he slowly disappeared from your sight. Even from behind, you could tell how down he was. It's as if everyone are against him.

You slowly followed him and waited outside the bathroom. You covered your mouth immediately hearing him crying inside. He didn't want to show you his weak side, because he wanted to be the strong man whom you can depend on.

Soon after, Jungkook came out of the bathroom. You quickly wiped your tears before he could see it. "Let's go?" you put on the biggest smile, but he could still see through you. He knew you're hurting from the news that you have heard earlier.

Jungkook suddenly hugged you. It was tight and you could feel his warmth. Him hugging you feels like home. You want to stay like this forever if you could. "You don't have to take care of me now," you said making Jungkook break the hug and stare at you. "Don't push me away or I'll punish you!" he replied giving you a stern look.

You laughed and shook your head. That laugh finally made him smile ear to ear, that was all that he needed-you, laughing.

"Why do you look so beautiful?" Jungkook kissed your forehead before pinching your cheeks. "And why do you look so handsome?" you asked back.

"I don't know, I was born handsome." He shrugged his shoulders making both of you laugh. He held your hand tightly then both of you walked out of the hospital. For now, you decided to enjoy your time together before you'll get admitted to hospital for treatment.

Months have passed now, but he never left your side. He was always there when you needed him. "I'm fine," you told Jungkook making him stop massaging your legs.

He looked at you, but quickly looked away. He couldn't bear seeing you getting weaker as days pass by.

He couldn't understand why you're not getting better, so he would always keep on praying everyday asking for a miracle to happen. "Don't take her away from me. Please don't take her from me." He would beg in his prayers.

"Can we go to the rooftop?" you asked, remembering those times where Jungkook and you would go to the rooftop at night and drink beer. Spending few hours there and just talking to each other was always enough for both of you. No, it was more than enough since you were by each other's side.

Your boyfriend smiled and held your hand then both of you took the elevator to go to the rooftop.

"Ah, the view is beautiful!" you smiled, spreading your arms to feel the cold air that was hitting your body. "It really is," Jungkook uttered staring at you instead of the view in front of him. "Don't look at me like that," you told him seeing the look on his face from the corner of your eye.

"Mm," he shortly replied wiping his tears right away. You lifted your head and sighed. "The sky is dark yet so beautiful," you uttered making Jungkook look up too. He didn't like how it looks. Seeing a dark sky now makes him sad, unlike before when you were still fine.

"During our darkest times we should still smile, because life is still beautiful." you told him. Your boyfriend hang his head down letting out a big sigh.

"How is life beautiful when you're like this? It's tragic." He started shedding tears. You teared up seeing him like that, it hurts your heart so damn much.

"Life is beautiful, because I have you." you wiped his tears and hugged him tight. Now, you couldn't stop your tears from falling out of your eyes. You're afraid to leave him all alone.

After some minutes of crying in each other's arms, you decided to go back into your room. And the moment you stepped inside you started feeling drowsy. So Jungkook immediately put you in bed.

"Jungkook.."

"Yes?" he asked, holding his tears back. The sight of you lying in hospital bed and almost out of voice tore his heart apart.

"I'll sleep for a while," you told him as tear fell out of your eye, and he was quick to wipe it away before caressing your cheek.

"I love you," you uttered staring at Jungkook intently, examining his features one by one before giving him a smile. You waited for his answer, but he didn't.

"I'll say it back when you're awake, so make sure to wake up. Okay?" Jungkook's voice cracked and that made your heart hurt since you know he was trying to hold his tears back like he would always do. "Just give me a smile," you uttered.

"I love you," you told him again. "I love you, a lot." Jungkook replied, smiling at you as you slowly closed your eyes.

The last thing you saw was the beautiful smile of the man who you love more than anything. It was a beautiful sight to see for the last time.

The noise from the machine was heard inside the room. Nobody came to resuscitate you as you signed a DNR order.

Jungkook held your hand tighter and that's when he let all his tears out. "Take a rest, it's okay." Jungkook cried knowing you'll never wake up again.

He didn't want you to leave. But he didn't want you to suffer more than you already did either. He can't take seeing you hurting. If only he could take your place, he would.

He wanted you to be with him for more years, he still wanted to make more memories with you. However, he would rather see you not suffer from all the pain that you have been feeling.

He knew everything was hard and painful for you as he witnessed what you went through every single day.

It was time to let those hardship and pain go. It was time to let you go.

"You'll be fine, I'll be here. I'm here, I won't leave you all alone." Jungkook kissed your forehead then whispered the words that you love hearing each time he would say it.

"I love you,"

"I love you so much, (Y/n)."

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