Here is when the narrative changes. I am suddenly swarm in the middle and the only person that can clear the smoky air. Something Rubies was afraid to do that night. Suddenly, Penny is cursing under her breath and her eyes roam the ground like we are stuck in a fire.

It feels as though someone wrapped a plastic bag around my head and I am slowly suffocating. I wish it would kill me though but unfortunately my heart is pumping, my lungs are taking air in and I am a functioning body.

Brennan and Andrew enter through the side gate and every time they cut pass a window—I see their long, thin bodies. I don't know how Penny saw them so quickly but this could've meant that she was preparing for them to come.

With my eyes still creeping over the counter and between the liquor bottles, I watch them dab some old classmates and hug females. Em skips to Brennan and gives him in a long kiss on the lips. Guilt settles in my stomach.

"What should we fucking do?" Penny snaps, yanking me back down. I fall on my ass while she slides down the cabinets. "I can't go out there." She tells me then remembers that Gavin is outside with everyone.

"Relax, it's okay." I try to calm her down and stand up but she holds me down. Her long, almond shaped nails curl into my skin.

"Fuck Andrew." She snaps at me with a voice laced with venom. Her large chocolate eyes are bright in the warm light. "I hate him."

"I get it, Penny." Her name on my tongue comes out like a whip. Her shoulders tense and her brows knit together. A pleading look in her desperate eyes.

We both hear the sliding door open and Penny squeaks. Her grip around my arm hurts and suddenly, she is frozen still. Her knees curl up to her chest and her eyes are the size of saucers staring into nothingness.

I consider calling Gavin for help but when I am able to pry away from her hold, I stand and find Andrew on the other side of the counter. He straightens his posture when he notices it's me and widens his eyes in surprise.

"Oh, hi." He forces out as though saying my name is poison to his lips. Shyly, he runs his hand through his loose, straight hair. Andrew came to America when he was a toddler. His parents adopted him from China.

He was the Valedictorian at our school and announced best lacrosse player in the county. Overall, I know he is a great guy but he hurt Penny and no one hurts my Penny.

I suck in a breath, "Hey Andrew."

"Didn't expect to see you here."

Twirling a random bottle in my hands I purse my lips into a thin line and nod, "I won't be here for that long though."

Force of habit, I spot the bruise and unscrew the cap of the gin bottle in my hands. I take a swig and cough from the pungent smell afterwards. Andrew stares and awkwardly, I shift from one hip to the other. I don't feel like myself right now.

I'm an inch shorter and my hair has changed. Penny punches my knee and I jolt forward. Some bottles clatter against each other and Andrew takes a cautious step forward.

"Everything okay?"

"Mhm, you?" I don't know if he means now or in general so I am sincere. Maybe I'll scare him enough to walk back outside.

He shrugs, "Fine. I'm going to go to China next month for an internship."

I take another swig and cringe, "Oh wow, great for you."

Something comes out of his parted lips—either a noise or a soft yeah but he can't stop staring at my body stumbling around. Next to me on the ground, Penny is kneecapping me from behind and finding pure amusement of my knee constantly hitting the wooden cabinet. It's a way she can cope with her anxiety.

My shoulders tense when Andrew rests his hands on the counter. The corner of my eye shoots down at Penny and she covers her mouth with her hand.

"Theo, I-I'm actually glad you're here."

I pop a brow, "Oh?"

"I want to—"

Before he can get anything out of his mouth, Penny shoots up from behind the counter. Her eyes lock with his and Andrew leans back puzzled. Her smile is welcoming but her eyes are screaming with wrath.

"Hi Andrew." She tilts her head to the side, her braids following the movement of her head.

The tip of Andrew's ears turn red and he begins tapping on the counter, "Hey Penny."

There is an odd pause and I study them both. I can paint their portraits right now.

Wrath meets horror.

Penny and Andrew broke up because he cheated on her when they were away in college.

Penny was absolutely heartbroken when the girl private messaged her on social media

and told her that they slept together. It was the night his lacrosse team won the championship too and Penny was texting all of us how he kicked so much ass and she was proud of him.

    Until Rubies got a phone call from her sobbing that he was drunk and admitted that he woke up in another girl's dormitory without remembering what happened.

    It was unfortunate because we all liked Andrew and Penny together. Andrew went to elementary school with her and they always held hands together before admitting their feelings. We always joked how they are both really smart, Andrew was athletic and Penny committed to anything she put her mind to it. They were going to have biracial super babies that were going to rule the world with peace and prosperity.

    Now Penny gags at the thought of it.

    The sliding door opens again and I thank whoever breaks the tension we are all stuck in. Immediately regretting it. Brennan comes in alone and stops when he finds us three standing in utter silence.

    Em and Brennan getting involved in their relationship is a story for another time.

    "What's up, guys?" His stare doesn't catch ours as he stands beside Andrew and reaches for the vodka. Instantly, I hug the bottle of gin to my chest and clear my throat.

    "We were just heading back out." I tell Brennan, his eyes as blue as the Mediterranean Sea. He shrugs, unaware that he bumped into a weird interaction and mixes a drink. Slowly, Andrew follows suit and finally makes his drink once I move aside.

    I grab Penny's hand and she reaches for her drink in the other. We chime an awkward goodbye and exit to the backyard. When I shut the door, Penny whirls around and locks eyes with me. Her breathing has deepen and her hands are shaking.

    "Who even invited him?"

    I shrug, "I don't know maybe Ian?" I drink and swallow, my head slowly buzzing from the lack of food in my stomach. "Brennan?"

    "Fuck man," She gasps and wraps her hand around her throat. I rest my cold hand on her shoulder and give a gentle squeeze.

    "Penny, it's okay." Over her shoulder, I make eye contact with Gavin and he rushes over. He notices she's anxious and wraps his large body around her like a blanket.

    "Baby, let's go talk to some people." She whimpers and nods her head slowly. I gnaw at my lip while he takes her away and to the group he was with.

    I find Vivi smoking a joint with Heather—a classmate a year above us. Her eyes are flirting while Heather takes a long drag and coughs. Vivi chuckles at her response while she nonchalantly takes a few drags without reacting.

    Jules is with Clarry, Em and Rachael's group of friends. A majority of the men are playing drinking games at a table. Ian hits a cup and cheers before taking a sip of his beer. A smirk curls on my lips and I am stopped by Jules.

    "Look who's drinking!" Jules shouts, raising my arm in the air. Ian, Gus and the other's turn and look. I yank my arm down and lean towards her ear.

    "Quiet down, if anything I'll take an Uber." I find myself slurring and Em snorts.

    "You're definitely taking an Uber." Her eyes shoot towards Penny—her face nestled in Gavin's neck. She brings the rim of the Gatorade bottle and bites it as though she's in a deep thought.

    "Gin?" Clarry says once she reads the label on the bottle. "Rubies favorite."

    I snicker, "Don't you remember that gin was also my favorite?" I announce and Clarry pops a suspicious brow.

    "I guess not."

    Jules begins dancing to the music and other females join her.

    "It's been very long since we all hung out." Em mutters until Clarry joins the dance group. Turning, Vivi is making out with Heather by the pond in the corner. We all whistle and clap and Vivi doesn't pry away but raise her hand and lift the middle finger.

    I hurl a laugh and feel my body vibrating. The liquor has finally consumed me whole and my eyes have become heavy. Everybody looks so vibrant and beautiful—I could kiss them all.

    Oh, what a scandal. Famous author, Theodora Adler kisses a group of old schoolmates in her hometown.

    I've made out with Vivi once because she admitted feeling for me. Yet, although I explored my sexuality, being straight stuck with me the most.

    Someone wedges their hand between my waist and I jump. A body presses behind me and I gulp the access saliva sitting in my mouth. Glancing over my shoulder, I am somewhat relieved to find Ian holding me.

    "Finally letting loose, huh?" He mutters in my ear, his breath hot and wet against my skin. I lean my head back against his chest and look up. The sky spins and the stars I always wished for are twinkling around me.

    "I thought I should get the good author reputation out of my ass for a night." Something rumbles in his chest—either a laugh or a grunt.

    "Want to be my partner?" His eyes flash towards the table that is surrounded by the guys. Clarry says something to me but I ignore her.

    "I still have game in case you're wondering." His thick brows pop up shockingly and his mouth is shaped as an O.

He takes my hand and guides me to the table, "You hear that boys! Theo still has game!" Danny is preparing for a new game by re-racking the cups. Brennan and Andrew join the group and Em slides under her boyfriend's arm.

Eventually, I am engulfed by drunk classmates, alcohol and laughter. I am completely off the charts and I forget where I am, who I am and what I want to be. This is everything I always wished for. Forgetting the bruise healing within me.

                    ~*~

The night is young. I am reborn and fearless and the alter-ego Theo is not the writer in reality. She is the athlete that walked in the halls with pride and ambition. Writing is a secret and I am the girl I always wanted to be. But with recognition.

I spoke to people—that used to leave a bitter taste in my mouth—with some sincere. I cheered with the guys at the table and swat at them playfully during the games. It felt real and alive to do something within the age I'm in. I was finally breathing.

Ian and I won two games in a row, Jules hurled in a bush and Vivi went home with Heather. Penny calmed down and was in a daze with Clarry and Em. Surprisingly I found her lounging with Em side by side. Gavin decided to drive Clarry, Jules and Penny home because I was under the influence.

Em left soon after with Brennan and Andrew. The crowd slowly died and I found myself coming to my senses but still on overdrive. Danny and Gus were staying over for the night in the living room. Creating a nice set up with some extra sheets, pillows and blankets.

I take a sip of water and force myself up. My legs wobble, "I should go."

Pulling out my phone, it's almost dead. I search on the Uber app for anything close by but Ian beats me to it.

"Just stay over." He begs with flirtatious eyes.

"No, I can just get the car tomorrow morning." My head is buzzing but I still find myself giggling. Floating on soft clouds that are my home. Ian wraps his arms around me. Danny and Gus are watching an old rerun game on the television.

"Theo, stay." He insists. I swallow and slip my phone back into my pocket. I stumble into his arms and sheepishly let him guide me up the stairs. We go into his room and he turns a lamp on. The room is dim and there's posters of sport teams on the walls as well as old football metals.

Surprisingly, it's clean and smells like fabric softener. I find folded clothes in a basket and that must be what's making the room smell appealing. Undoing my pants, I kick them off my ankles and plop down on his bed.

Ian smirks and places a cup of water on the nightstand. Hesitantly, I raise my hand and reach for the hem of his jeans. I tug him towards me and his tall, large body cowers over mine. His fingers tickle my warm thighs and stops by my hips.

He pulls my hair, tilting my head back and I gasp at the feeling. It brings a large smile on his mouth and he grunts. Locking eyes, I silently undo the button of his jeans and pull the zipper down. I feel him hard and throbbing through the lining of the pants.

His thumb runs down my cheek and cups my jaw line. I roll my eyes back, massaging his cock through the pants. His head falls back and I watch as his Adam's apple bobs when he groans in pleasure.

"Do you want to fuck me because I'm famous?" I mutter to him, raising his shirt up and feeling his toned abdominal that has a strip of hair.

Confused at the question, he leans his head forward and looks down at me, "What?"

He captures my wrist and finds the bruise on my arm. I yank away from his hold.

"Do you want me because I have money?" I suck his thumb when it appears close to my mouth. He watches in a daze, almost as high as me. "Or because of my name?" My voice is deep and husky, it's almost alluring.

Without answering, he leans down and captures my wet lips with his. Our mouths taste of bitter alcohol and it's thick and warm. I want to pull away and so I do, while he trails open-mouth kisses down my neck. Ian spreads my legs apart with his knee and climbs on top of me. I fall on the mattress and capture his face with my palms.

I haven't had physical touch in months. I don't know whether I agree with Penny or not—it's not as awkward as I think it would be. But there is a little voice in the back of my head...a little intimidation, reminding me that we know each other and what he tells friends can matter to me.

I gasp when his hand dips in my underwear and his fingers glide between my wet lips.

"Is this okay?" He asks and I gnaw at my bottom lip to hold in moans. Nodding my head, I spread my legs even wider and circling my hips to the motion.

He finds my mouth and kisses me hard. Ian begins taking his jeans off and I help him quicken the process. He strokes his cock when I wrap my long legs around his torso. His other hand is holding his upper body up but I grab it and pull his whole weight on me.

Teasing at my entrance, he pauses and says, "I-I can put on a condom."

I glance into his light eyes and a gleam of sweat on his forehead. It has become hot and heavy in his room and we quiet down when downstairs, the boys cheer at the game.

"It's okay, I'm on birth control." I reply, my breathing uneven. "Just don't finish inside me." I add loud enough so it gets through his hazy mind.

Ian nods, and he slowly guides his cock inside me. I gasp because at first it hurts until the pain eases and the feeling enhances every atom in my body. Ian's face buries into my neck as he thrusts deeply inside me. Gentle moans escaping his sweet, delicate mouth.

I take in pride, laying there while little noises escape his mouth.

Gripping onto his tousled hair, I let him enter me. Feel me and taste me. Hear my cries and my mourning. Encourage the pain I've been longing for. That sex just deranges my ability to think coherently.

"You like this?" He teases, pulling out and waiting for me to beg again. He pulls my shirt over my breasts and tugs down my bra.

"Shut up and fuck me." I demand, running my nails down his back. He doesn't say anything and slams into me. Propping his upper body and gazing down at me. I stare into his eyes and wonder what he's thinking. Remembering the curve of his eyes and the dark scruff around his mouth. What words he will say tomorrow and who he will sleep with next.

I remember how he looks so I can create him as a person he isn't.

I don't know how long we've been in this position but eventually he pulls out and finishes on me. I lay there and try to find my breath. Ian pushes himself off the bed and reaches for some tissues. I take them from him and wipe the semen off me.

He hands me my underwear and asks if I need water. I shake my head and lay on the corner of his bed. It dips when I feel his naked body fall next to me. Smothering me from the deepest, darkest secrets I enclose. Unable to retaliate tonight with everyone here.

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