| Thirty-Two |

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It's been three days since I've seen the girls. Since we all were sitting around the fire in Penny's backyard. Where I showed them the bruises that lingered my skin and have been healing. After seeing my dad, I needed time to myself.

    I didn't tell anybody about the situation but I briefly told Jules when she asked how I've been. It felt foreign to see a separate message from her checking up on me. I asked in return how she was and she wrote "confused". I wish I was able to tell more but there is nothing more I can say.

    All I knew is that she fell off Brennan's beautiful balcony of his huge home and had a serious injury. Like I said, I wasn't there but from the way Rubies was telling me the story—she was awfully terrified.

    I remember the day she called me. It was right when she left from visiting Jules in the hospital. She was in tears—hysterically crying after telling me that Penny didn't want to talk to her. Maybe something was going on that holds a grudge between Penny and Em.

    Something we all don't know but them.

    For those days I don't see anybody and lay in bed. I scroll through social media when I hate it the most. I speak to Francine and my mom but don't bother to tell her about dad. She'd be mad that I went to see him but don't bother visiting wherever exotic country she's in now.

    But when I lay in bed—the silence becomes loud. It becomes so loud that I have to play music to blur out my thoughts. I think of the girls and Ian and the party. I think of Penny and how she looked at Andrew and Brennan.

I cry when I stare at the bruises on my arms and when the hot shower leaves red marks on my back. I am emotionless when I stare at the blank screen on my laptop because I know I will never be able to write again.

                    ~*~

I find myself at the bookstore. As I prowl through the aisles, seeking for a new book to read. I run my fingers along the spine with a coffee in my hand. Some customers are sitting on the floor reading so I step over their legs.

There's a table with book recommendations and I find a stack of my copies resting with the other colorful covers. I place another book on top to avoid people finding mine. Whirling around, I gasp to find a body standing right behind me.

Her eyes are large and her lips are slightly parted. Pressed against her chest is a copy of my book. She hasn't moved but her face has washed with color. She's in more shock of finding me—the author of the book in her hands—standing right in front of her.

"Hi," She starts without blinking. "I—um... I read your book." I glance down at the copy than back up towards her owl like eyes. "No, no, this is a new copy. I lended my copy to a friend and you'd find it funny if I told you her dog ripped it apart."

I can't help but laugh as I say, "She should be buying you a copy."

"Oh, I know. I felt bad and told her I can buy one." She must be in high school. Old enough to drive here.

"Thank you," I begin, walking away but she reaches out and taps my shoulder. I pause and when I turn, her body stiffens again.

"I'm sorry to bother you." Her voice is gentle, like a song on a record player.

I look down at my watch. "No, it's okay." I force a smile and she gnaws at her lip.

"Your book helped me. I was in a dark time and it helped me seek help. I should be thanking you." I find bracelets half way up her forearms.

I swallow. Unfair that she can't see the marks I make. The ones that can easily go away without being caught.

"Would you like me to sign it?" I offer, finding myself searching for a marker in my bag.

"Please," Her soft voice mutters when she hands me the book.

I'm the first one to bend the first few pages until I'm at the title page. I sign my name under the bold font as she watches with excitement in her eyes. I give it one last look until I write hope on the bottom.

I hand her back the copy and her eyes are glassy. I find myself staring back at a reflection. A mirror of myself and her white teeth and red lips. Then I'm hugging the girl, my arms fully wrap around her body. I feel her posture loosen around my hold, her hands still clutching the book against her chest.

"I'm sorry for what you've been through." I whisper into her ear, not knowing whether I'm talking to this girl or myself or Rubies.

We let go and there's color on her cheeks. Her hips sway and her hands are at her side. I cup my hand against her cheek and brush it gently.

"I am too." She tells me, reaching around me and to the table. She pulls the book I put over mine aside. "The book is fictional but it comes from the author's heart. I know you thought the same when you were a reader. You just need to still be the reader to let go."

She bids me a goodbye and brushes past my shoulder. I watch her take the escalators down to the registers. I sigh, reaching for a new released book and without reading the blurb—I carry it by my side.

   

                        ~*~

Sitting in a coffee shop, Em texts the group chat about going to Coves Beach. I haven't gone there since high school but I remember it very well. That beach is where my mind takes me when I go to the beach near my apartment.

    I close my eyes, inhale the sand and salty water and imagine all of us in small bikinis running into the water. One of us tripping and falling into the wave while the rest swim really deep without lifeguards around.

    It's seven in the morning and there's coffee and half eaten bagels on our towels being scavenged by seagulls. No one is around and it's just us and the endless ocean. Us and the ocean. Us against the world.

    Then we make the drive home worthwhile, shower and grab dinner from the diner. We go back to the beach where many classmates are drinking and standing by a huge bonfire. Some are hooking up with one another, others are smoking near the trees. Girls and boys are skinny dipping and the rest are singing and talking over the crash of the waves.

    I get there around six o'clock in the afternoon and Em and Vivi are sitting on a large blanket. Beside them is the unlit bonfire with wood and ash on the sand. The only other bodies around is a small family running away from the water whenever it crashes. Toddlers screaming and cheering when they beat it before running back down and doing it again.

    I notice Jules walking up from the ocean, her hair wavy and loose for the first time. They all are wearing old baggy sweatpants and I feel out of place with my jeans. Although I do have my old basketball sweatshirt Clarry still had in her bedroom all these years.

    It's one of the warmest days of Spring so far and I'm thankful for that since we are near the ocean. It's windy and sand is falling on the blanket. Jules recognizes me from afar first and jumps up and down—arms waving in the air.

    I wave in return, laughing at her joyous figure. Em and Vivi glance over their shoulders and smile at me. It's a little light out still but their faces are a blur. When I get closer, Jules spreads out another blanket and we both sit.

    "It's beautiful, right?" Em says to me, her crinkled eyes staring out into the ocean. I rest my arms on my knees and stare ahead.

    "Very, it's different than the beach near my apartment." I inhale deeply and exhale from my mouth. "Smells different."

    "That's odd." Vivi mutters, smoke escaping her mouth.

    "Maybe it's the strawberry flavor of your vape." I bud my shoulder against hers and she laughs. I see Em smirking beside her without turning. Her hair is down and frail but her face has changed a little. She hasn't said anything since Penny's house but maybe something happened.

    Speaking of Penny, she comes down with Clarry and drops a tote bag in front of us.

    "Hey girls." She greets us while Clarry plops down next to Jules. Jules squeals and falls into me and I fall into Vivi. We all laugh as we fall like dominoes until Em hits the sand.

    We all sit up and she brushes sand off her hands. Penny squats down in front of us and pulls out small ice cream pints. She calls out the type of flavors and we all raise our hands for our specific favorite one.

    She pulls out a small towel and sits across from us. We begin eating our own ice cream pints in silence while the sun sets.

    "I think we should light this up." Penny sparks the idea of starting a bomb fire. There's new wood on top of the burnt ones that people possibly tossed throughout the day. Over the sandy hill is where the trees linger.

    "I don't think we have any lighters..." Jules trails off her sentence when she sees Penny swooping back into her bag. Sticking the spoon into her mouth, she pulls out a bottle of liquor and a match.

    "Don't worry, I have the essentials." Standing, she pours some alcohol into the sticks and lights the match right after. As we all watch in amazement like little children devouring ice cream—she tosses the match into the pit.

    It blows instantly and we all cheer with ice cream around our mouths. She is too good for all of us. Bringing ice cream and essentials to light up a fire. She knew what we all needed to heal our inner child.

    It begins to get warm when the fire grows into a large orange ball. Em explains how she got a package in her mailbox that had a small mason jar full of sand. She knew instantly that Rubies mailed it from Coves Beach.

    She pulled the mason jar out of her backpack and poured the sand back onto the beach. As thought the mason jar held Rubies soul. Releasing her into the night of many memories. Which lead to us all talk. Our beach days and bonfire nights.

The day the waves were so big, Vivi got dragged into the ocean and this handsome lifeguard had to save her. We all watched on shore where she was being carried out by the guard, his muscles tensing and her smile so long as though she forgot she almost drowned.

She said that day almost made her straight again.

I remember one night at the bonfire we were playing spin the bottle. The bottle landed on Jared, a baseball player in our grade. I had to make out with him for five minutes. I didn't mind because he wasn't ugly but I was really drunk and he was stoned.

During our session, he tried to push my head down to give him head. I kept telling him to stop and once I felt pressure on my shoulders—I punched him in the face. I broke his nose and he wasn't going to press charges if I didn't tell anybody he was a head pusher.

I told the girls and half of them laughed and gasped.

"Jared head pusher, oh my god." Penny laughed, scooping the last bit of ice cream in the container.

"No wonder he left right after." Clarry remembers although she was passed out on the sand by the ocean.

"And he said he broke his nose at his baseball tournament the next morning." Em shakes her head in disbelief. "What a pussy."

"Did it hurt?" Vivi asks after calling me a badass. Jules leans over and looks at my hand when I extend it.

"I put concealer here on my knuckles because they were a little bruised."

    Vivi scoffs, "Girls our age were putting concealer to cover hickies on their necks meanwhile Theo was beating boys up and covering bruises."

"He deserved it. Little prick." I mutter, moving the empty ice cream container onto the sand. Clarry has sprawled out on Jules blanket and onto Penny's towel.

    Our belly's are full of ice cream and our skin is pink and warm from the fire. The family from afar left once the stars have appeared in the sky. Jules hasn't taken out her flask which makes me very impressed.

    We begin talking about summer and whether any of us are doing anything. I didn't say anything about the possible world book tour because I didn't want attention on me. Although the hateful tension between us all have loosened. Even between Em and Penny.

    The idea is brought up when Rubies name is announced.

    "Let's go to Hawaii." I offer and they all look at me with raised brows.

    "Hawaii?" Clarry gawks and I nod my head—almost dumbfounded.

    "Yes, why not?"

    Em shrugs, "It's very last minute. Prices are probably over the roof."

    Vivi nods, "Em is right. I don't think I have the money for that right now."

    "It's okay, I'll do a down payment." I say with no hesitation.

    Penny shakes her head, "No we wouldn't want you to do that."

    "Seriously," I reply, "I can do one and overtime you all can slowly pay me back." There's an odd silence and Jules runs her hand through the sand.

    "For how long?" Clarry asks because I know she's worried about taking off for work.

    I shrug, "Two weeks at most."

    "I'm down," Jules turns onto her back and winks at me. "For Rubies."

    Penny begins to question her until I turn to her, "Rubies always wanted to go to Hawaii. That or Norway but it'll be summer so we should do Hawaii."

    "Okay, fine." Em agrees, her eyes large in the dark. "I will come."

    "I guess so." Vivi chimes in and lastly, Clarry gives me a 'sure' look.

    Penny gnaws at her bottom lip and I give her a pleading look. "Yeah, we can make it work."

    We cheer when it's finalized with words and I smile with a stiff lip. Jules pulls out a speaker from her bag and connects it to her phone. After flipping through a few songs, an old one begins to play.

    It echoes into the night and soars up into the sky. The stars twinkle a little brighter and the moon is at it's largest.

    Jules shoots up to her feet and begins kicking her feet out and dancing around the fire. Something warm fills my chest when Bobby Womack begins singing Fly Me To The Moon.

    Clarry finds herself humming until Jules yells at all of us to get up and dance. Em and I are the last people to be sitting and rocking back and forth to the melody.

    Jules kneels down to me and sings, "I wanna sing to you, darling. Forevermore, baby!"

    I laugh until she grabs my upper arms and yanks me up to my feet. Now my laughter has grown when Vivi and Clarry are hand in hand swinging around like silhouettes in the dark. The flames of the fire making their shadows dance.

    We all sing, "Can't you see that I love ya?"

    Clarry falls into my body and yells "That I care for you, darlin'" when Penny lends out a hand to Em. Em watches it hover over her for a second before brushing sand off her palm and takes it. Penny helps her up and we all are around the bonfire—dancing and singing while Jules replays the song over and over again.

    When Bobby screeches into the mic, we all follow lead as the notes take us into a different planet. This was our song all of high school to remind us that we have each other.

    As we sing the end together—fly, fly, fly, fly, fly me to the moon. Our bodies vibrating to his strong, enhancing voice. Raw from the passion of the song. We all dreamed of being together and reaching out to each other no matter how far we are.

    We will look up to the stars and find each other with the help of the white moon. I pause and take a look of us prancing around the glowing fire. Our bodies small and poise. Our skin rose and tight with youth. Finding ourselves falling for each other once more.

    As I think, yes, this is it. This is when we all reconnect since returning and breaking down our good, bad and evil. That no matter what, nothing can break the connection between us all. We know each other from the inside out and if anybody ever tries to touch the Winx Crew—we bite back.

    Once we get tired of the song, we sing the lyrics until our voices deepen and our throats turn raw. We all collapse onto the sand without worrying about it sticking in our hair and down our pants. We forget where, who and how old we are. Waiting until the fire burns out into a crisp smoke in the air and fall asleep warm from dancing.

    Being awakened by the park security patrolling the beach in the middle of midnight.

~*~
One of my favorite chapters. I love this song so much, it fills such a sweet vibe and I can vision the girls running around and singing and living life.
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