August 2022

A knock awakens me from the door and I jolt awake. Reaching out of the cold water, I lean up and forward to catch a breath.

Water droplets sticking in my hair fall off the side of my cheeks. Exhaling a shaky sign, I hear another soft knock on the door.

"Yeah," I force out, feeling my rough fingertips. Trying to figure out how long I've been in here for.

"Marie, are you okay?" A deep voice echoes through the door. I close my eyes and run my wet hand through my already damp hair.

It's only Darin.

"Yeah, I'm good."

There's a long pause and I watch the door knob twist but not budge. I locked it due to force of habit.

"You have about half an hour until we leave." He tells me as though his mouth is pressed on the crack of the doorway.

Pushing myself out of the water, I drain it then turn the shower on so warm water can refreshen me.

"Okay," I reply before submerging my face under the water.

~*~

We sit in silence when Darin drives on the rainy road. Glancing at me, he places his hand on my lap and gives it a gentle squeeze. I half-grin when he finds my hands stuffed between my thighs and intertwines his fingers with mine.

He breaks the silence, "You've been so strong."

"Thank you." I croak out through my red painted lips.

"Last one."

"Finally," I answer before he turns right and we pull into the court house parking lot.

~*~

There are numerous of familiar faces who have been following this trial. It kept getting pushed and pushed until the date came and once I received a lawyer, things started to get heavy.

My body felt like cement when I dragged my feet to the front of the room and pull out the witness chair. I make eye contact with Darin and he nods softly.

Judge Brand knows me by now and I glance at the jury. Judge Brand clears her throat and leans into the microphone.

"May you give us your full name."

I brush my hair with my fingers and stare at the ground.

"My birth name is Marie McKennel."

"Ms. McKennel, stated on December 28th, 2019, you were at Brandon Flesher's home for a party?"

Brennan.

"Correct."

"You stated that at approximately 11:32 PM, you were upstairs with Vivian Rivera and Juliana Monroe?"

Vivi and Jules.

"Correct."

"Emma Karnowski was with Brandon Flesher, yes?"

Em.

"Correct."

"And Penelope Windsor was somewhere—possibly with Drew Chen, yes?"

Penny and Andrew.

I swallow the thick bile in my throat. "Correct."

Glancing forward, I see family members of friends.

The girls. My girls. All in a row staring at me with courageous smiles and ambitious eyes. Their faces young and completely beautiful. Frozen and in place. Juliana is missing though.

I look at my attorney and he is glancing through paperwork at our table. I don't bother to look at the defense table where lives will be ruined.

Judge Brand proceeds to go minute by minute, hour by hour of the night. My hands are shaking on my lap and my bottom lip is giving out. It begins to quiver and as the judge speaks word for word, I begin to cry.

"Correct." I keep saying and my attorney looks at me and his eyes soften with relief. He knows what's to come.

Judge Brand clears her throat again after glancing at her papers. She begins the closure of the juries decisions and the sentence of the accuser. My shoulders sag at the relief and I can't help but sob in front of the whole room.

When I look up, the girls are still here, clapping and when I glance into their eyes—there's something shallow from within. Holding them back...

~*~

I am alone around the back of the building. I told everyone who approached me that I needed some air. Leaning against the brick wall, I squeeze my eyes shut. The air is finally able to rush into my lungs and let me breathe.

Reaching for my bag, I pull out my book.

To calm my breathing, I flip to the last page of chapter one of August 2021.

I read, "Just like that, Rubies became a shadow. A constant reminder of what we could have done and failed. I failed Rubies and it will be something that will haunt me forever."

"It shouldn't haunt you forever." I whirl around with a gasp, the page held between my fingers. Falling into the wall, I hold the book against my chest. "You did it. You did everything." Penelope adds, a grateful smile on her lips. "Thank you, Marie." Her eyes are welled with tears.

"Oh let's not cry now." Looking over my shoulder, Vivian is blowing smoke out of her vape. "We should be happy that he gets what he deserves."

"It's not enough though." Emma chimes in, squatting down by Vivian's legs.

I wonder if I'm having a heat stroke from how hot it is. The rain has stopped and the sun has peaked over the clouds into the humid air. I feel a line of sweat on my forehead and run my arm along it.

The girls are flawless.

"Hey, can we at least be proud of Marie?" A voice says and it's Clarissa walking around the building and towards us.

"Where did you go?" Vivian asks her and Clarissa shrugs, a torn smile on her lips. Her eyes downward with sadness.

"I wanted to see my mom." There is a distraught, torn whimper in her throat.

I grind my teeth together and remember that Darin is inside the building with some of his old friends that came to support. I told him I was stepping out before talking to my attorney. It hasn't been long and I know I should go inside soon. But now I can't leave them.

"It's good to see you all again." I tell them with a tightness in my throat. The sun is warm and blazing but I can see them over the shadow on the building.

I see my shadow in the sunlight. The only one.

"We missed you." Penelope touches my cheek but I don't feel anything.

"I heard you started a charity." Emma acknowledges and I nod.

"After publishing the book, I decided to donate the money." Turning to Penelope, I add, "I'm sorry it took me this long to get you justice."

Penelope's eyes crinkle on the sides, "It's okay. The book was enough. I really liked the seven deadly sins twist."

Vivian cuts her off, "Actually, why did you kill yourself in the story? Why create Theo and leave Marie—or Rubies?"

I flip through the pages of my book and it takes me a while to answer. Looking around, there is nobody near. I begin to cry—shaking my head.

"Because not having you all really tears me apart. I thought that burying this part of Marie could help me move on."

"And we just wanted a simple book of how our lives could've been." Emma explains in shock because the twist in the book was the opposite of what happened.

Clarissa leans her head on my shoulder, "Well you've done amazing."

"Don't forget." Vivian points out. "You still have one girl."

I think of Juliana and what she's doing. After the night of the party, I left New York earlier than expected. I left after everything.

"Yeah, right." I wipe the tears and kick a pebble away from me.

After a long silence, the girls are as quiet as a hummingbird. I gnaw at my lip and notice how much time has passed.

Curiously, I glance up and they all are looking at me emotionless.

"Why are you all still here? I thought I did everything right."

With shallow eyes, Penelope grins and looks down at the ground. "That one girl is holding us back."

Thinking, none of it can make sense but it does. She can be the one holding them back because they all are still here after the book and winning justice.

"Marie?" Before I whirl around, I feel a presence on my shoulder. Glancing over, I see Emma looking at me with concerned eyes.

"I know you were afraid to tell the truth." Her eyes peer down at the book in my hand. "I know Rubies didn't see but you did. You have to tell her." She whispers and Darin appears from the corner.

His expression is with relief and satisfaction. All this time, he stayed when me ever since I returned to New York that summer. After I told him what really happened that night, he was determined I seek justice even if it wasn't for me. But for the girls I loved forever.

"Hey, it's time to wrap it up." He informs me with a folder tucked under his arm. Must me all the information throughout my court dates.

Glancing around, I'm alone.

"Coming." I tell him and when we walk up the long staircase in front of the court house, Drew is being taken into the back of the police car in handcuffs.

~*~