GRADUATION

I was happy.

My dad dropped Aspen and I off for graduation on his way to get Devian, and it was awkward because nobody said anything until it was just Aspen and me.

"You're glowing," Aspen says as we hurriedly walk into the arena that our graduation is taking place in.

"What?" I ask her, tilting my head in question. How the fuck could I be glowing?

"You came home late last night too," she adds as we enter the building.

"So?" I say non chalantly.

"You and Axel had sex," she suddenly says, louder than I expected.

"What the fuck!" I exclaim and cover her mouth.

We're rushing down the hallway to the back of the arena where the rest of our graduating class is patiently waiting, and with the way these halls echo, anyone could have heard that. Thankfully, when we get there, everyone is minding their own business adjusting caps and gowns.

Aspen and I take our assigned seats next to eachother and I huff out a lot of air at once.

"You're right, we did have sex, how the hell did you know?" I very quietly and carefully whisper to her.

"You're really happy," she whispers back into my ear, "and you look more confident."

How the hell are all of these things related? Yeah, Axel and I had sex, but I didn't know the whole world would be able to tell today. How come I can never tell when other people have sex then?

"You don't make any sense," I say confidently, "just pretend nothing happened."

Aspen raises her eyebrows and smirks at me, crossing one leg over the other as she directs her attention to the principal who is beginning to talk to us about timing with our march to our seats inside of the arena.

I try to find Axel, because he's a few rows in front of me, but there's too many caps in my way. I feel my heart sink because I'm starting to worry whether or not I'll even see him before I leave with my family to the airport.

Before I know it, we're instructed to rise and we begin filing down the bleachers towards the long hallway that enters the arena. Aspen gives me a small smile as we break off with our assigned partners, even though she's walking two pairs behind me.

I can hear the music playing from inside of the arena, and I take a moment to look around at my classmates. I'll never see them again. Some of them are probably happy about that, but Axel is the only reason I'm not.

I feel my heart pounding as my partner and I, a small girl named Katie, are instructed to start walking into the arena. My shoes feel like I'm walking on melted butter, but that's probably because I don't like being watched by people. There's people sitting in the stands 360 degrees — I literally can't look anywhere without seeing a smiling family. I wonder where my family is because I know for sure they'd never miss Aspen's graduation.

As Katie and I break apart, me to the male side and her to the female side, I try to find Axel again. I finally spot him in his chair but he doesn't see me because he's looking at the program manual for the ceremony. At least I found him, and I feel a bit of relief as I sit down in my seat.

The ceremony drags on forever with speeches and singing and awards. Finally, we get to the good part, and someone begins calling the name's of my graduating class. I simply sit and listen.

"Axel Fredricks," I hear the man with the microphone say. I know he's part of our school district but I don't remember what he does.

I watch Axel step up onto the stage and receive his diploma, shaking hands with the three other men standing there. As he walks down the stairs to file back to his seat, I see him make eye contact with me. At first, I think it's because I'm on the end seat. Second, I just think it's because we like each other. Why wouldn't he look at me?

But this was different. He keeps walking towards me with a smile on his lips—that same smile I know so well.

Before I can even look surprised, Axel takes my hand and helps me out of my chair. He places one of his hands on my cheek and leans in to kiss me.

"I think I love you. If this is the last time we see eachother, I want you to know that," he quietly says against my lips, "I also want you to know that I don't give a damn who is yelling at me right now."

I feel like this isnt even graduation anymore. I feel safe as Axel rests his forehead against mine and kisses me while whispering things I never thought I'd hear. I see someone coming up from behind him, so I know I have to talk fast.

"I think I love you too, really. I will write you letters and buy a laptop so we can skype with eachother, whatever, I'll do whatever," I say, getting louder as someone begins taking Axel back to his seat. I can tell from his face that he's determined, but I'm not sure what he's determined about.

Someone pushes on my shoulder to get me back down in my seat. It's then I realize that everyone has their eyes on me... literally. Not one person is looking somewhere else. It's not until the speaker who is calling names continues.

"Allison Garett," he says into the microphone like nothing just happened.

I can't see Aspen but I'm sure her jaw is dropped on the floor. I can't see my family, either, but I'm fairly certain they're even more surprised.

My row stands up and we begin filing down to the stage. Aspen's name is called and I stand behind her as I watch my sister receive her diploma. She smiles widely and before I can look any more, the announcer says my name too.

I carefully climb the stage and receive my diploma from the very large man in a suit who is handing them out. Nobody says anything to me about what just happened with Axel, and it's kind of nice that people forgot about it... for the moment.

I feel so accomplished and confident as I walk down the steps of the stage, making my way back to my seat. Axel smiles at me as I pass him.

I look down at my diploma and wonder what the hell I'm even going to do with this thing.

After another ten minutes, we are officially announced as the class of 2015. I throw my cap into the air with the rest of my classmates, watching it fall somewhere afterwards.

I feel pretty good except for the pit in my stomach that says "California."

I somehow wish that I could pause this moment right now and stay with Axel forever, but I know that's not possible.

California is going to be my home.