17. dig my grave

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Later that night, Devian's new tutor was supposed to stop by, which meant that we all had to act civil for at least an hour. His name was Mick, and I'm pretty sure he's the same person Pablo tried to set me up with moments after I told him I was gay.

He was good looking, smart, and a little bit of a badass. I'd be lying if I denied ever wanting to get my hands on him. He was a year younger than I was, a Junior who probably looked and acted ten years older.

He rang the doorbell at half past five, exactly when the appointment was set up. Nobody budged when he rang the bell, and I impatiently stood up. You're all mad at me, huh?" I walked over into the kitchen and pulled open the door, seeing his smiling face as he held a few textbooks and notebooks nestled between his arm and ribcage.

"Hey Orion, I'm here to tutor your brother," Mick said as his black tufted hair gently swayed in the breeze. His teeth were flawless as he smiled, his eyes almost as black as his hair. I immediately turned around and called Devian over. My heart was beating faster than normal at his attractive appearance—I guess I never really looked at him. Devian showed up by my side, and we moved so Mick could travel inside. I felt a bit embarrassed because we live in an almost literal dumpster. At least it doesn't smell too bad.

"Hey, you know that new boy in your grade?"
Mick suddenly asked while we all walked towards the living room, his eyes focused on me.

"Yeah, I do," I responded while I unintentionally swallowed a lump in my throat. Why was he bringing Axel into this conversation?

"Um, well, I just need to talk to you about him when I'm done with Devian," Mick said while sitting down on our couch, spreading the books and notebooks all along our rectangular coffee table.

"Okay..." I muttered at his statement, watching him page through a history textbook. Devian looked up at me from his spot on the couch, shrugging.

I walked upstairs and knocked on Aspen's door while they did their studying downstairs. She opened it a crack, one eye peering out into our cramped hallway. "Yeah," she stated bluntly, not even raising her voice to make it sound like a question.

"I want to hang out here for just a few minutes," I replied to try and get her hands to open the door enough so I could fit through. Truth was I wasn't planning on staying there for just a few minutes. I wanted to stay there until Mick left.

Aspen led me into her room and sat down on her bed, pushing her glasses up with one finger. I sat down on the floor in the opposite corner, accepting the silence I was going to have for the next hour.

Suddenly, Aspen's hands crumbled a magazine, a short gasp leaving her lips. I sat up and tried to look, maybe it was a bug or something?
It wasn't.

Aspen had a bikini model magazine spread wide open on her bed. Her cheeks were blushed cherry red as she tried to close the magazine and push it to the back of her mattress.

"What?" I questioned her, surprised she was so startled that I saw her bathing suit magazine. Her cheeks were losing their bright color now, her eyes staring down at her thighs while she occasionally pushed up her glasses.

"I was just looking at a bikini for this summer, I didn't really want anyone to know," she muttered while finally taking her glasses off.

"What does it matter if I see it?" I tilted my head while looking up at her. It was just a bathing suit.

Aspen shrugged and sighed quickly, bringing her legs up onto her bed to sit criss cross. She looked at me with tired eyes, her head suddenly collapsing into her hands. "Please don't ever repeat this."

I could barely hear her soft voice through the muttering between her hands. I just froze, ready to listen to my twin sister for the first time in a while, and I was fairly certain I knew what she was going to tell me.

"I think I'm a lesbian," Aspen mumbled to me, her hair frazzled and tangled, covering the sides of her face.

I felt my stomach lift in happiness, crawling over to her side. I tried to see her face through her hands and hair, but I didn't see anything. "How long did you think this?" I asked her, millions of questions rumbling through my brain.

"Oh, I don't know, a few years," she answered while finally lifting her head up. I saw her face and thought of myself—she was my better half.
I felt so stupid for not realizing this before, everybody just pushes her to the background. I'm the only one who even has a chance getting into her mind.

"I'm so happy you told me!" I bounced a few times in excitement, still watching Aspen's distraught face.  "Just another gay child for mom and dad," she whispered while rolling her eyes.

"No, gay twins. Now, we are essentially one gay package," I stated while grabbing her wrist, bouncing it with each word I said so the sentence would sink in. I didn't want her to think she was just another one.

Someone knocked on Aspen's door, and she fell back on top of the magazine. I got up for her, opening the door wider than she probably ever did. It creaked and revealed Devian with Mick. Has it been an hour already? Half hour?

"Hey, we're done here, can I talk to you now?" Mick asked with the same smile he showed me at our front door.

Shit.

"Yeah, wanna talk outside?" I suggested, sneaking between both Devian and Mick while I began down the hallway. Mick looked back at me so I stopped at the stairway, waiting for him to follow in my lead.

I heard Aspen shut the door and Devian say goodbye to Mick, my nerves growing low as I was stranded in a hallway with only Mick and my parents who were behind locked doors.

"This isn't anything bad, is it?" I questioned as we walked down the stairs and out the front door, quietly closing it behind us.

Mick shrugged and shook his head. "I don't necessarily think so. Don't worry."

Mick crossed his arms and looked up at the sky, harshly pulling back his lower lip before speaking, like he was nervous or something. "Look, I like this new kid."

I cut him off with my hands. That's enough.
I didn't want to hear any more.

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