Chapter 21 ~ Scars

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This is the song that Jade will be playing in this chapter.

'Everybody has scars, and some of us are affected deeply by them.

For me, each scar is different, some are physical while others are written in our heart and can only be seen by ourselves. But I think that physical scars are a reminder of those that are hidden inside.

I believe it never heals completely, because nothing will ever be the same now that there is this mark that will remain forever.

Of course, we can try to hide them, with a long sleeve shirt for the scar on the wrist, or a cheerful attitude for the one in the heart. But it's temporary, it's just a band-aid that helps us cover the ache.

And it will only last if we don't meet the person who will pull the band-aid off and either help us survive without it, or make the scar bleed again.

We hand each person we met a scalpel, giving them the power to hurt us : will they press it against our skin, or will they throw it away ?'

A week had passed since Hannah's accident and my life almost went back to how it was before it.

My parents are gone on some business trip again that takes away the little of family life we have. But I won't complain, I know that if they were spending more time with me, the only thing they would see when looking at me would be my sister. Even when I look at myself in a mirror, I see Hashley.

Hannah woke up two days ago. She still has a lot of concussions and she looks really tired but her sense of humor remains intact. The doctors said she still has to stay two weeks in this tiny hospital room until she can catch a flight back to Florida with her mother.

Hannah gave me the "I told you so" speech when I told her about Nathan and I, and she almost went back to a coma when I mentioned the kiss.

My world has been turned upside down the moment his lips pressed against mine for the first time.

I'm falling, each day I fall even more in love with him. I didn't even know a human being could feel those kinds of emotions, I didn't know love could be this strong and passionate feeling.

It scares me because he's holding a really sharp scalpel, only one pressure on my skin and he'll create one of the deepest wound I ever had. I'm scared of the power I let him have over me, it has been only a week since we're together.

But I guess the feelings were here before our first kiss, I know that I loved him before he took that step and sealed our lips together. It was just something I couldn't admit to myself.

I walk faster as the cold wind of January blows my hair away, tangling my curls. I start regretting turning down Nathan's offer to pick me up.

He asked me to meet him at the park. I could hear his excitement and apprehension over the phone, and when I asked him why, he just ignored my question and told me he would see me there.

Now I was the one battling with my excitement and apprehension. I turn on the street facing the park and I immediately notice him, leaning on his car with his hands in his pocket.

As I'm about to cross the road that is separating us, Nathan takes a step aside and I see a girl in front of him. I stop on the other side of the street when the girl glances at me over Nathan's shoulder and smirks. Slowly and seductively, she puts her hand on Nathan's arm and laughs, showing her large cleavage to my boyfriend.

Nathan moves away from her touch and turns around to put some distance between them. Now that he's facing me, I can see the awkwardness and embarrassment on his face when he gently pushes away her hand for the second time.

For a moment I contemplate leaving. After all, she's way more beautiful than I am, with her long black hair. She's so skinny and so tall, I wonder why Nathan would choose me over a beautiful girl like her. I could never compete with her.

But the way he rejects her every time she tries to make a move on him seems to give me more confidence than I probably ever had.

I cross the road, my body radiating with irritation, love, and confidence. Believe me if I say it's the weirdest thing I've ever felt.

As soon as Nathan's eyes land on me, a wide smile spread across his face. Just knowing that I'm behind this reaction comfort me in my choice of not leaving him with this girl.

"Hey babe," Nathan says when I finally reach him, and places his arm around my shoulders.

"Hi," I answer in a small voice that I instantly hate.

In a brave move, I stand on tiptoe and kiss him softly. It only lasts for a few seconds, but all the butterflies in my stomach are flying everywhere. I can feel his smile against my lips and I pull away, blushing really hard.

When I finally come back down to earth, I notice that the girl is still standing in front of us and glaring at me. If looks could kill, I would be collapsing on the concrete while she would probably kidnap my boyfriend.

Plastering my biggest smile, I look at her and Nathan tighten his grip around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.

"Hi! I'm Jade, Nathan's girlfriend," I tell her, she brushes off my words and turns toward Nathan.

Such a sweet girl.

"Well, see you later Nate !" She squeals and walks away, not without glaring one last time at me.
Nathan takes my hand and leads me towards his car.

"I swear I have nothing planned with her or any other girl beside my mother and you obviously," he says, almost panicked by my silence.

"You better not Nate," I tell him with a smudge smile and he laughs before kissing me. "Who was she?"

"Nobody, I can't even recall her name. By the way, I like it when you're jealous, you look really cute," he chuckles and opens the passenger door for me.

"Well I don't, it's so irritating and frustrating!" I reply.

"I know, I feel that way everytime a guy's eyes lay on you, and let me tell you it happens way too much," he says, his jaw tightening slightly as he closes the passenger door.

* * *

"Where are we?" I ask as Nathan leads me towards a massive metallic door.

The street is really quiet and looks abandoned, which is quite creepy I must admit.

"Since I couldn't bring your birthday gift to you, I brought you to it," he simply answers, confusing me even more.

"Nathan, if this present involves me being kidnapped and then killed, I'm pretty sure I won't like it," I state as he opens the large door.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," he laughs, taking my hand.

"Not if you're the kidnapper," I reply, following him as he enters the building.

"Why would I do that?" He chuckles. "You're already mine."

His answer makes my heart pounds so much louder that I'm worried he might hear it.

The hallway is dark, I can barely see Nathan walking a few feet away from me. I almost collide into him when he turns the corner of the corridor and stops in front of another door.

"Close your eyes," he orders with a gentle voice.

"I'm not sure I-" I begin but Nathan puts his hand over my mouth.

"Close your eyes Jade" he repeats and I comply with a sigh. "Don't cheat!"

I hear the door opens, and Nathan slides one arm around my waist and takes my hand with his free hand, leading me to my birthday present.

There is no sound but the soles of our shoes hitting the floor.

"We're almost there," he whispers in my ear. "Mind the step... Here... You can open your eyes."

I open them and for a moment I forget how to breathe. A piano is standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by violins, guitars and even saxophones. A glass separates us from the other side of the recording studio.

"I can't believe it! Did you really rent this for me ?" I ask as I come closer to the piano.

My fingers linger on the varnished black surface of the piano, and I can almost feel the unheard notes under my touch.

"We have until six tonight, which leaves us a few hours here," he says and I turn to face him.

"It's just... I think it's the best gift I ever had," I tell him and I almost run up to him.

I kiss him passionately, until we're both out of breath. Then I sit behind the piano and begin to play. Nathan sits on the couch next to the piano and I can feel his eyes on me the whole time I play.

Each note I press resonates through my whole body. I had forgotten how it felt, the white keys feeling like silk under my fingertips. I feel like each sound is a word that only I can understand.

I've missed playing the piano so much, but just seeing one reminds me of the last time I played for Hashley.

"My parents sold my piano just before we moved here," I begin, still pressing the keys. "I asked them to, I couldn't even look at it without seeing her sitting on the stool next to the piano. Almost every day, she used to ask me to play this song she loved so much."

I hear Nathan adjusting his position on the couch, but I don't look at him, my eyes are focused on my hands.

"This song keeps replaying in my head, I've played it so many time I know it by heart," I carry on. "When they asked me to say a few words at my sister's funeral, I knew I couldn't make a sound without bursting into tears. So instead, I played for her. This is the last time I played this song, and I know that I've never played that well in my entire life."

"Promise me you'll show me one day," Nathan says and my heart warms at the tone of his voice.

"I promise," I reply, my voice being almost a whisper.

The melody keeps echoing in the studio until the song finally comes to an end. I stand up and walk to the couch, where Nathan is studying my every move.

I sit next to him, burying my head in his neck. He puts his arm around my shoulder and presses me on his side.

"Do you think it's possible to love and hate something at the same time ?" I ask Nathan.

"Hmm... I guess it is. What is this about ?" He says and turns his head to meet my gaze.

"My life," I reply, feeling Nathan tense next to me. "Relax, I'm going to do anything stupid. It's just that... I love my life here thanks to you. You're the only positive thing in my life and I'm somewhat glad Hashley asked my parents to move here before her death."

Nathan relaxes slightly as he waits for me to carry on.

"But I hate my life because I lost half of me. Hashley was a part of me, it's how it works for every twin. I hate the fact that I see her when I'm standing in front of a mirror or when I catch my reflection in a window. And I hate her for doing this, for leaving me alone. Do you think I'll ever overcome this? The pain and the sadness?" I ask Nathan.

"I don't know, I guess it's up to you. You're strong Jade, way more than you think. If you really want to overcome this then you will. It will take time but you have to fight against your demons," he replies.

I know he is pulling off the band- aids that are hiding my scars, each one of them, slowly, until there is nothing left. He's going to help me survive without the band-aids.

"How can you be so perfect?" I ask him and he pulls me onto his lap.

"Oh I'm not, trust me," he chuckles and I feel it echoing in my stomach as my laughter joins his.

For all the moments I spent with him, and for those particular moments we'll share, I'm going to love my life.

* * *

It's almost seven in the evening when I make it to the hospital. I could hardly get out of the car because someone kept distracting me from my intentions. This guy sure knows how to kiss.

Hannah threatened me that if I didn't come to see her after my date with Nathan, she would escape from the hospital and hunt me down. Knowing the girl, I took this threat seriously.

The elevator's doors open, and I make my way to Hannah's room. I turn in the hallway leading to the room, already repeating what I'm going to tell her.

I stop in my track when I see a man going out of the room at the end of the hallway. I can't tell who it is, I only caught a glimpse of blond hair before he turns the corner and disappears in a rush.

A knot forms in my stomach as I approach Hannah's room, the last room of the hallway. I knock at the door and enter without waiting for her permission. Hannah is typing something on her phone as I come closer to the bed.

"Hey! I was going to text you," she says and put her phone back on the nightstand.

"So how do you feel?" I ask and sit on the edge of the bed.

She is pale and the bruises on her cheek and forehead have become brown. She needs some sleep but she probably won't allow me to leave until I've told her everything.

"I'm good, my arm still hurts but it certainly won't prevent me from kicking your butt if you don't tell me how it went with Prince Charming," she replies and tries to straighten up in this tiny bed.

"Who was the guy who left your room before I got here?" I ask her, completely ignoring her question, and she frowns.

I can't tell if it's because of my question or the pain. She looks at me and gives me a knowing smile.

"It was the male nurse, and let me tell you that this guy is really sexy," she wiggles her eyebrows and I stare at her a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "Okay enough talking about me! How was it?"

I tell her about Nathan's amazing gift, leaving out the confession and kissing parts of course.

I pretend to be engrossed in our conversation, but something bothers me.

I know she lied to me, this guy wasn't a nurse, he wasn't even wearing the hospital uniform. I don't know why she did this, and I'm not even sure I want to know.

Although I would rather believe what she said, I can't help but think about this guy. The knot in my stomach is still here and I know that I don't want to consider who he might be.

So for the moment, I'm going to pretend I believe her, for her sake as well as for mine.

~

A/N

Hey, guys!

I'm looking for some songs to listen to while I'm writing. Any suggestion?

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Don't forget to vote, comment and share!

XXX
jxstmysxlf

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