'I've tried to be perfect all my life.
The perfect student.
The perfect daughter.
The perfect friend.

But I'm tired of this, always doing my best to please everyone. What about me? What do I get for all of my efforts? Pain. Numbness.

Perfection is just abstract. Nothing defines it, nobody embodies perfection simply because it's a pure fantasy. Our flaws and skills are what make us different, real.

We all have our own definition of perfection, based on our expectations. We can't expect somebody to be perfect, we can only approve the fact that he is close to be.'

Hannah and I tiptoe towards the front door, trying to be as discreet as we can. I don't want to lie again, because even though I do it often, I hate lying.

"Girls, where are you going ?" My mother asks from the kitchen as we are about to open the front door.

Hannah looks at me, silently encouraging me to lie to my mom. We've been looking for a good lie the whole afternoon yesterday. But thanks to Hannah's great lying skills, we finally have an alibi.

"We're going shopping because I haven't bought Christmas gifts yet. And since Christmas is in less than a week, I think I better hurry up," I shout, opening the door. "Bye Mom !" I add as Hannah and I quickly go out and close the door.

Hannah turns toward me and grabs my arm to lead me farther from the house.

"Why did you say that! I'm sure she knows you're lying now," she scolds me. "Rule number one for a liar : never add details," she says, pointing her perfectly manicured finger at me.

I can help but laugh at her serious expression. She rolls her eyes at me, turning away.

"Hannah, we're not going to murder someone or rob a bank. I just want to meet a friend." I chuckle, walking along with her towards my car. "And I had to add those details, my mother knows I hate shopping," I say as I hope on the driver seat and Hannah sits beside me.

"You're the worst liar ever," she sighs under her breath, fastening her seat belt.

"You're not the first person to say that," I laugh, shaking my head at how bad I must be when it comes to lying.

"Let me guess... Nathan, isn't it ?" She says, shifting towards me as I turn the key in the ignition.

My smile grows at the mention of this boy. Everytime I see him or even think about him, I can feel my heart beating a little bit faster. I know I'm starting to develop feelings for him, but I don't know if it's a good thing.

"Well, judging by the size of the smile on your face, it must be him," she states, glancing at her phone. "I can't wait to meet the guy who made my best friend smile again."

I frown at the use of the word "best friend" but don't say a thing. Instead, I press the accelerator and start to drive away from my house.

* * *

I pull off the car and turn towards Hannah who's filing her nails. She had changed so much, she would have never care about her nails a few months ago. But I can still see a bit of the girl I met when I was ten. Her eccentricity, as well as her humorous personality, remain intact. She is the girl who always get excited about anything and who's a bit tactless when gentleness is needed. But I wouldn't change anything about her, she is perfect in her own way.

"Is that him ?" She asks, pointing her emery board at the brown haired boy.

Even though I only catch a glimpse of him before he enters the coffee shop, I can tell it's Nathan.

"Yes, that's him," I answer as my heart begins to pound in my chest. "Please, Hannah, don't embarrass me." I plead, looking straight into her emeralds eyes.

"Come on, I've never embarrassed you. I wouldn't dare," she scoffs, taking her black purse, where she puts away her emery board, and opening the passenger door.

I almost laugh at her lack of honesty. She always finds a way to make fun of me or to put me in embarrassing situations.

I follow her as she walks towards the coffee shop, her creamy coat held tight around her. We enter the warm and dry atmosphere of the place, much more pleasant than the wet and cold weather.

My eyes scan the room until they land on him. He is sat at the same table than last time we came, at the back of the room. He immediately snaps his head up and looks in our direction, like if he had felt our presence. A warm smile spread across his beautiful face as I walk up to him, Hannah on my heels.

"Hi," he says, standing up when we reach the table. "I'm Nathan," he adds, reaching out his hand.

"Hannah," she introduces, shaking his hand. "So you are her soon-to-be boyfriend, aren't you?" Hannah says, raising her brow and folding her arms.

I glare at her with indignation as I hear Nathan laughing. I bet she did it on purpose just to piss me off. And it works.

"We are just friends, Hannah," I state as I try to restrain my murderous urge.

I can't even look at Nathan, I'm too embarrassed by her behaviour.

"Well, I'll let you two alone. I don't want to be the third wheel and I certainly don't want to see my best friend making out with you. That would be gross," Hannah shrugs and turns away, leaving me drowning in my humiliation.

I roll my eyes at her. Most of the time I love her, but when she does those humiliating things, I hate her so much and I begin to regret I didn't avoid this weird girl when I was ten.

I finally glance at Nathan, who's now standing in front of me. He is trying to stifle his laugh and acts like the confident boy I know. But his cheeks are a little flush, and his light brown eyes have this sparkle I have never seen before.

"It's great to see you," he says as I slide into the booth.

Instead of sitting across from me, he sits next to me. The proximity of his body makes me want to get closer to him and move backward at the same time. My mind is fuzzy, I can't even think straight with him that close.

Like if he heard my thoughts, he puts more distance between us and I lean my back against the window behind me, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I like her, she's funny," he smiles, pointing at Hannah who was about to exit the coffee shop.

"Yeah, I would have described her as a real pain in the butt but I guess funny works too," I say, rolling my eyes again as Hannah waves us goodbye and winks at me before closing the door behind her.

"How did you meet her? I mean you two are really different from each other," Nathan asks, pushing a cup in front of me as he takes a sip from his.

I think about his words for a few minutes. Hannah and I are total opposite, we hardly agree about anything and we always fight over silly things. But I love her like a sister. I guess our differences helped us to build a strong friendship.

I look at Nathan, who's waiting for my answer with more interest than needed, and grab my cup. The smell of hot chocolate fills my nostrils as I bring the cup to my mouth and take a sip.

"I'll give you the short version. It wa-" I begin, setting the cup on the table.

"I don't want the short version. I want to know everything," he interrupts, turning his full body towards me so we are now facing.

I hate talking about myself. Even before the incident, I hated when people asked things about me. I feel very uncomfortable when I monopolize the talk, I don't even have interesting things to say.

"Well, Hannah is the first girl who came to me when I was ten. I had just moved to Florida and being the new girl is never easy. My accent was something children were laughing at, so when Hannah told me she wanted to be my friend, I kicked her and ran in the bathroom." I chuckle at the memory of that day. "I thought she wanted to befriend me so she could humiliate me in front of everyone. But Hannah found me in the bathroom and swore she was different from the other children. That how this annoying girl became one of my closest friends. But I was right about one thing : she loves humiliating me."

"Wait. Which accent are you talking about ?" He asks, raising a brow in confusion.

"I worked hard on trying to erase it when I was younger. I guess it worked," I answer with a little smile. "I'm British, I moved to the United States almost eight years ago."

He doesn't say a word and stares at me with so much intensity that I feel the urge to look away. My fingers fiddle the cup on the table, but my gaze never leaves his.

"What about you ?" I say, but I immediately cover my mouth with one of my hands.

Nathan takes it away from my mouth, holding my hand longer than necessary before releasing it.

"It's fine Jade. In fact, I was waiting for the right moment to tell you, but I guess I should say it now," he sighs, his body stiffening as if he dreads my reaction. "I talked with Aaron yesterday. We got things straight and he accepted the fact that no matter what he thinks or says, you are one of my closest friends."

I smile and look away from his brown eyes. Smiling seems to be the only thing I'm able to do when I'm close to him.

Nathan tells me about his friendship with Aaron. Their mothers are really good friends so they practically grew up together.

I can't help admiring him while he's talking. He is probably one of the most handsome guys I ever met. He may not be perfect to the other but to me, he is. He has his right eye that is a bit darker than the left one, it's barely noticeable. He also has this little beauty spot just under the left side of his strong jaw. His teeth aren't perfectly aligned, but it's a part of his charm.

The more I look at him, the more I want to be close to him. I know all those tiny imperfections are drawing me to him. Because that's what makes him real, and not just some fantasy coming straight from a romance novel.

"You're staring," he says, smirking at me.

I don't deny it and grab my hot chocolate to hide my embarrassment.

Here is the second thing I always do when I'm with him : I blush. I'm embarrassed by myself, but at least he sees the real me, the one I try to hide from everybody.

"Tell me something nobody knows about you," Nathan says, getting closer to me.

I press my back against the window a little harder, wanting to put more space between us. The proximity prevents me from thinking, my mind is empty and I don't know what to say. I clear my throat and try to find some confidence to tell him the truth.

"I-I didn't cry," I begin, Nathan frowning at my answer. "When she left, I didn't cry for weeks. My family needed someone to lean on and I choose to be that person. I had to keep my emotion for myself to help them the way they couldn't help me. I had my first break down a month after she left. Since then, I can't prevent them, they come and go, I can't predict when the next break down will be."

Nathan's features soften and he takes my hands, pulling me towards him. He hugs me, one of his hand on my neck and the other on the small of my back.

We stayed there a few minutes, none of us talking. Though there are customers in the coffee shop, the only sound I can hear is his steady breath covering the speed beating of his heart. I want to look up to meet his beautiful eyes, but that would mean breaking the hug. And this is the last thing I want to end.

"My... My brother is sick," he starts, his mouth inches away from my ear. " He... He has been diagnosed three years ago with leukemia. His state is stable most of the time, sometimes it gets worst but he always recovered, until a week ago," he pauses, tightening his grip around my waist. "He has always been fragile, often getting sick. He had a pneumococcus meningitis four years ago, and he lost ninety percent of his hearing. This little boy already went through hell with all the surgeries he had to undergo, he can't live that again."

I hear him sniff, and I hold him tighter to show him my support. I don't say a word, I can't say I understand what he is going through because I don't. I can't reassure him by saying everything will be alright because I don't know if things will end well. As much as I want to find something to say to comfort him, I prefer to not utter a word.

"How can life be so cruel with an eight-year-old little boy ?" He whispers in my hair.

Silence envelopes us as we hold on to each other. That's when I realize that Nathan needs me as much as I need him. We are each other's distraction from the pain that is consuming us. We can't stop the grief, but we can make it a little bit easier to bear by being there when the other needs us.

His hand moves from my neck to my cheek as he pulls away, breaking our hug. He brushes his thumb against my burning cheek, his eyes even more intense than before. I feel like I'm seeing a whole new person, the real him. Though he made me promise to be myself, he wasn't himself the whole time.

I'm lost in his eyes, like if life was suddenly poured into my body and everything was more... alive.

Beating erratically at the few inches separating our faces, my heart is pounding into my chest as if it wanted to reach Nathan's heart.

I can't tell if it's Nathan or me who's slowly reducing the gap between our lips. My mind is blank, no thought in it.

We jolt back as something is thrown on the table before us. I look at the phone set on it, my phone.

I must have forgotten it at home. I stare at my phone, unable to resolve myself to look up. I can see in the corner of my eyes that Nathan has put as much space between us as the small booth allows it. Someone cleared his throat and I finally glance up.

"Home. Now," my mom orders, turning on her heels to leave the place.

I grab my black winter jacket and my phone, looking apologetically at Nathan. As I'm about to walk up to the door, he takes my hand and pulls me in a last, quick hug. Before parting, his lips press against my forehead in a soft kiss.

"One hour with you isn't enough," he says, letting go of me.

I walk away with those words inside of my head, wanting to engrave them in my mind, in my heart, and in my soul.

~

A/N

Hello !

I think every girl deserves a guy like Nathan, don't you think?

Special thanks to MayGarner for the amazing cover she made! Thank you so much for your support. Check her great work!

Don't forget to comment, vote and share!

XXX
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